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Feb 5, 2009 08:58AM
Hi Ya'll! I am joining this group!
I am 48 hours from a smoke now. I didn't want to join earlier because I have always felt like a loser trying to quit smoking. I have smoked for 30 years - about 15 cigarettes a day. Last 10 days I cut it down to 5 smokes a day. I also started the Chantrix. I quit for 24 hours last week and then lit one up. The Chantrix made the cigarette taste awful but I didn't put it out and smoked again for another 4 or 5 days. I actually quit taking the Chantrix, well I didn't really quit - I forgot to take it a couple of nights but I was so high on pain meds at the time I was forgetting everything.
Ok, the subject of pain meds was brought up and how it affected smoking. With me taking Vicodin would make me nauseated if I smoked. I would even do that partial throw up thing (don't know what to call it) and yet I wouldn't put my cigarette out. I would get dizzy and yet still smoked.
I figured if I could take a wonder pill that would make me really throw up anytime I took a puff on a cigarette I would be fine. I also thought that a good idea was to be put in the hospital for 2 weeks chained to a hospital bed would help me quit.
I have tried quitting 7 times in the past 30 years. I failed each and every time. I tried the gum, patch, hypnosis (worked the best). I tried the patch again twice within the last 5 years and still smoke with the patch on. I found out that with me it wasn't so much the nicotine withdrawal as I was so emotionally dependent on those buggars. They have always been my crutch, my best friend so Webwriter I know exactly how you feel and how difficult it is for you right now.
I was always told if I could get through day 5 I would be ok - I would get to day 7 to 10 and start up again and it was always because of some turmoil that hit me, some really stressful event and I would pick up my best friend and smoke her and would feel emotionally better if though I felt like a loser, my friend was more important to me than my feelings of failing.
Chantrix - I brought my prescription with me when I spoke to my oncologist at Huntsman Cancer Institute and told him I wanted to take Chantrix but I didn't want the Chantrix to delay getting chemo treatment. He told me it was ok to take Chantrix and it would not affect chemo treatment.
I found out that if I take it when I wake up in the morning FIRST THING that it really does help. That might be my 6 am wake up and pee moment and go back to bed until 8 am but by default I learned to take it at 6 am when I first wake up.
I am also taking it again around 5:00 pm at night before I start cooking dinner. I found out that helped a lot because I always wanted that after meal time smoke. I was also one of those that went outside within 2 minutes of waking up to have a smoke.
Coffee and alcohol are triggers for me along with eating. I quit drinking 2 weeks ago - no biggie I was one of those that drank 1-2 drinks per week. Coffee is another thing because I am a 8 to 10 cup coffee drinker daily. If I don't drink coffee I get a massive headache by noon due to lack of cafeine that I can only get rid of by taking pain meds. The headaches get so bad that taking any type of Tylenol, etc. do not work.
This morning I had 2 cups of coffee and switched over to water with a dash of lemon. Like you Webwriter, that is the only way I can drink water.
I wanted so bad to get in my car yesterday and run to the nearest store and get cigarettes but I didn't. I also know if there is even ONE cigarette in my house then I will find some excuse in my head to go ahead and smoke it. MUST NOT DRIVE, MUST NOT DRIVE, MUST NOT DRIVE!
61%, 61%, 61% - I had no clue about this Webwriter and boy is it an incentive to quit as I start chemo in less than 2 weeks.
Ya'll will hear a lot from me because the longer I stay on the computer in my basement the longer chance I have from getting in my car to go to the store to get a pack!
Never Alone - My TaTa Sisters are always with me!
12/30/2008, IDC, 4cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-