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Jun 12, 2018 08:23AM
HoneyBeaw - I quit several times, as I expect we all have. Once for two years because I had the chance to go on a 3 week sailboat trip in the Carribean but couldn't smoke on the boat. Unfortunately even that didn't last. Although looking back it was humorous that for 6 months I stretched the kitchen phone cord out into the garage & told myself I wouldn't smoke in the house.
I finally quit because I ended up with osteopenia and my research discovered that smoking & carbonated sodas are really bad for bones. I still joke about which was harder - the smokes or the cokes. But I really didn't want to be stuck in a rehab home with a broken hip - which often leads to 'warehousing' older women due to lack of successful recovery. That scared me more than cancer or COPD. So I started with baby steps.
I quit smoking in the house. After two weeks, I quit smoking in my car. So now I'm limited to the porch. I started 'mainlining' sunflower seeds - hand to mouth, insert seed, crack shell, hand to mouth remove shell & chew seed. And repeat. My ashtrays were overflowing with the shells. I also started swinging out of the house & walking around the block whenever I wanted a smoke. I chewed a LOT of gum. So another two weeks later, I started taking Chantix, the first week of which you just taper off the smokes. I took it for a couple weeks but didn't feel the need to build up to the strongest level & never renewed the RX.
In the meantime, I had my carpets shampooed and my drapes & furniture steam cleaned. I washed every bit of clothing in the drawers & closets - or took it to the cleaners if necessary. So now I had a fair amount of money invested in succeeding. I joined Curves and started working out on their circult every day. I had to identify my personal triggers (and we all have different things) I had to quit drinking for most of a year. And I had to quit reading the morning paper with a cup of coffee - instead I quit coffee & read the paper while eating lunch. Talking on the phone was a trigger for me. Sitting in my favorite chair & reading was a trigger for me - actually quit reading books for several months. For heaven's sake, I even lit a cigarette before I got out of bed every morning. I had to quit hanging out with a number of friends for a couple of months - many of my friends still smoked and we had groups that met outside our offices to smoke together.
Honestly - I only cheated twice. One time was early on before I had completely stopped when I got stuck in a massive traffic jam & had a smoke in my car. One time was two or three years after my last smoke. I was standing with a friend in her back yard and she had to go answer the phone & told me to hold her cigarette. I have to admit to one puff. Dangerous. I KNEW that I could never take one puff again. Luckily she came back out & I didn't tell her. But it's a worse addiction than heroin for me. I CAN NOT EVER have a puff.
At first it was really hard. Then tempting. Then it would cross my mind how nice a smoke would be. Those moments got fewer & further apart. Now after 11 years next month, I really don't want one, but still... I will always be a smoker - just one who is not smoking.
We all know how hard it is. No way around the stress & anguish. I feel fortunate that I didn't have to attempt quitting at the same time as negotiating breast cancer. I can't imagine how I would have managed. That said, it's so much easier if your husband or partner doesn't smoke. And you can't very well banish grown children who smoke from your life. Just like LisaMarie doesn't have any choice with her Mother's smoking.
Vent whenever you want to. I still try to check in to BCO every day and this is pegged to my favorites. Hopefully others will chime in with their tips.
2/15/11 BMX-DCIS 2SNB clear-TEs; 9/15/11-410gummies; 3/20/13 recurrance-5.5cm,mets to lymphs, Stage IIIB IDC ER/PRneg,HER2+; TCH/Perjeta/Neulasta x6; ALND 9/24/13 1/18 nodes 4.5cm; AC chemo 10/30/13 x3; herceptin again; Rads Feb2014