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Oct 19, 2018 02:37PM
MinusTwo, tho I don’t have any loved ones with AZ, I read Still Alice and thought it was excellent. My heart goes out to all who are caregivers to those with that disease.
Dysfunctional families: I learned years ago how to deal with my own. My 20s were a time of breaking free from the chaos and restructuring those relationships. I had to learn when to stay away, when to join, when it was time to visit, when it was time to leave.
Dh’s family is another story. They took advantage of him and placed the care of his widowed mother on him even tho he’s the youngest. For decades, I had to put up with his codependent relationship with her and lack of help from his siblings who turned a blind eye to everything. My MIL never asked of her other kids all she asked of dh. Exceedingly frustrating and damaging to our marriage. We made it thru, but trust me, I bitched up a storm especially the last 3 years since she moved across the street from us. She is now 90 and can no longer live alone so finally in June one of her daughters who literally never lifted a finger to help before took her in. Dh and I are still recovering.
Whenever MIL had a need, dh was always too quick to jump in and help. I continually asked, begged, demanded he step back and wait awhile to see if any of his siblings would step in. That’s my advice if you are dealing with dysfunctional people. Try to step back and not try to solve matters or even add your two cents worth.
For several years, dh’s sister sent him bizarre messages trying to stir up all kinds of sh*t. I told him do not respond. Ever. And he never did. Whenver she did the right things, like call and speak cordially, he would be nice. Whenever she was sh*tty, he simply did not engage. It was to teach her that bad behaviour is not rewarded but respect would get a response.
Value yourself. Value your time and energy. Don’t give in to dysfuntional people. Try to hang back and observe. Often they try to do things to push your buttons or to create drama to make themselves feel important. You don’t have to fall for their tricks.
found lump 12/22/10~er+/pr+/her2- stage iv bone mets------------- Chemo~lumpectomy~radiation~arimidex------------- March2019/Ibrance-Aromasin---------- Sept2019/Verzenio-Aromasin