Topic: Stop Smoking Support Thread

May 28, 2020 05:25PM VJSL8 wrote:

Hi HB -- It makes total sense that sense that you would relapse now ---- none of us have ever experienced such disruption in our lives. Although, I do feel my medical issues have given me life skills to handle this better than I would have. But the survival part of our brain says -- where is my old friend? the one who always gives me comfort and will get me momentary pleasure. Yup-- our survival instinct is activation during stress and these times are stressful.

I agree with MT -- what can you do that can give you comfort within your situation? For me -- I go out to the garden and dig some dirt. Each of us is different is what tools we use. I also use progressive muscle relaxation (PMR) -- when my Epstein Barr (EBV) flares, my nervous system goes into overdrive and PMR works really well for me to break me out of it.

Don't be so hard on yourself. I relapsed during chemo. I had been quit for 6 months and made it through surgery, radiation but I couldn't make it through chemo without my friends.

Instead of making quitting a goal right now, why not take the pressure off and instead the goal is to try different ways to cope when the urge comes up. We are all different and it might take you a few times to figure out what helps in one situation, what helps in another situation. Start building a tool box of tools Don't deny yourself a smoke, but just start practicing different ideas to see what does help.

It's like my EBV and using PMR to calm myself -- when my doctor explained what was happening to my nervous system, I researched and found that PMR disrupts the connection between my brain and my muscles and it calms me down. It's one tool for one situation for me. different situations need different tools.

Find your tools and then when the time is right, you will already have a toolbox full of things you can do. Good luck, I know you can do this.

Sep 7, 2020 06:33PM MinusTwo wrote:

Just posted this review on the Book Lover's thread. Sounds enticing. Hope all my old friends from this thread are doing well - smoking of not. No judgement.

As a former smoker, this is now on my book list. Wow - just look at the authors - Nicotine Chronicles:

In recent years, nicotine has become as verboten as many hard drugs. The literary styles in this volume are as varied as the moral quandaries herein, and the authors have successfully unleashed their incandescent imaginations on the subject matter, fashioning an immensely addictive collection.

From the introduction by Lee Child:

Food scientists have discovered a complex compound naturally present in, among other things, potatoes, tomatoes, peppers, and eggplants. The compound offers us a number of benefits: it improves our fine motor skills; it increases our attention spans; it improves our cognitive abilities; it improves our long- and short-term memories; it lessens depression...In and of itself, it has no real downside. It's called nicotine. We should all get some.

The problem is the delivery system...The most efficient way is to burn dried tobacco leaves and inhale the smoke. Ten seconds later, the compound is in your brain, doing good in all its various ways. Unfortunately, the rest of the smoke doesn't do good. And therein lies a great mystery of human behavior. To get the good, we risk the bad. Or we prohibit ourselves the good, for fear of the bad. Which approach makes more sense?

Featuring brand-new stories by: Lee Child, Joyce Carol Oates, Jonathan Ames, Eric Bogosian, Achy Obejas, Michael Imperioli, Hannah Tinti, Ariel Gore, Bernice L. McFadden, Cara Black, Christopher Sorrentino, David L. Ulin, Jerry Stahl, Lauren Sanders, Peter Kimani, and Robert Arellano.

Sep 7, 2020 09:43PM - edited Sep 7, 2020 09:44PM by AliceBastable

Tangandchris, I quit two years ago, I think on the 10th of September. I remember I asked both the breast surgeon and oncologist about smoking, and they both said that of course it's not a good idea for general health reasons, but it's not really tied to breast cancer. But then I found out I had kidney cancer just as I had my lumpectomy, and the urologist told me at my first appointment that I HAD to quit before my kidney was removed. Funny, if I hadn't been a smoker I'd have gotten a pre-op chest x-ray, but the oncologist had me get a chest CT for a better look at my lungs, and that picked up enough of my kidney to find the tumor on it. So smoking may have saved my life, in a roundabout way. It was a good-sized tumor of a nasty type.

I used the patch to quit. Hubby and I went out of town for a few days, and early in the morning on the return day, I ditched my last pack and lighter, and sat in the passenger seat and crocheted for five hours on the road. I used the first group of about 10 patches (the strongest ones), then moved into phase 2, with a lower dose of nicotine in them. After a few days, since I hadn't had a single craving, I stopped using them. I still haven't craved one, even when I've inadvertently walked into someone else's smoke. I wish I'd known how easy it would be for me, because I'd have quit years ago. But maybe I needed a scary incentive to re-set my priorities.

Sep 8, 2020 09:10PM - edited Sep 8, 2020 09:11PM by AliceBastable

If it helps to add to the "Scare that cigarette out of your mouth" technique, smoking wrecked my teeth. In my year from hell in 2018 (2020 is an amateur in my experience!), my teeth were starting to crack because they were hollow, even the front ones. My Mom died in January that year, and one thing that was a relief was that she passed a few weeks before my teeth started breaking - she was 97 and still had all her teeth! I'd have been so embarrassed if she'd seen mine breaking. So I had the top ones pulled and got dentures. At least I had a few months to get used to them before the cancer crap hit the fan. So, a warning of what can happen to your teeth AND your kidneys from smoking. But I probably never listened to other people's scare stories while I smoked.

Nov 10, 2020 01:44PM MinusTwo wrote:

Bumping for those trying to quit now. I miss all you guys that posted here.

If everyone's disappeared, how will we have lunch back east in four more years?

Nov 10, 2020 02:22PM - edited Nov 10, 2020 02:23PM by MinusTwo

abi - yup. I think most of us still want one sometimes. I'm fortunate that I've made it 13 years. But that was the 3rd time I'd seriously tried. The first time I made it 2 years. SIGH.

That doesn't mean that I don't still occasionally DREAM about smoking. And still probably once a month I think 'oh a smoke would be so nice'. Like yesterday. I worked out in the yard for several hours and when I finished I really wanted to sit down with a coke & a smoke. Settled for the coke (meaning cola)

Hang in there. It's a royal bitch. Hopefully you can find a good substitute to reward yourself. For delayed rewards, the money saved is amazing - but that's not much help when your back's up against the wall.

This was always s a good discussion. Maybe others are having the same issues.

Nov 10, 2020 04:25PM MinusTwo wrote:

Abi - please do check back in. Every one of us that ever posted here understand the issue and we're rooting for you. Yup - exercise bike might help.

Tang&Chris - how are you doing in your struggle with this beast?

Dec 26, 2020 09:35AM - edited Dec 26, 2020 09:35AM by abigailj

Hi MinusTwo and wishing you joyous holidays as well. I'm happy to say that I haven't fallen off the no smoking wagon again, although have been eating too much of all the baked goods I keep making - i love tobake and have 2 weeks off work more or less so time to do it...a dangerous combination). However I started doing some regular exercise a few weeks ago under guidance of a physical therapist (30 minutes daily though not in one stretch) so at least maintaining the status quo with my weight (which is about 10% more than it should be but good enough for now). Thanks again for being there for me!

Dec 28, 2020 11:34AM abigailj wrote:

My goodness MinusTwo! I can barely manage the walk across a parking lot from my air conditioned car to an air conditioned store in that kind of weather let alone multiple miles! That is really inspiring! I live in a residential area of NYC so it's walkable without any crowding and when I was going into my office I would have 1 mile of walking just to go to/from the express bus stop, and would also go use the gym my firm provides for us sometimes. But now I am not doing as much walking, just on weekends since there is a nice national park that's a 10-12 minute drive from my house that has a lot of walking paths and beachfront too on the weekends. I work a good 10 or 11 hours most workdays (yeah, that includes the majority of the time I was spending commuting before this but I had to log in and work more often than not when I came home so it's really an improvement!) The recent PT has really been great for me - I already have more strength than I did before my surgery and I even think my range of motion and certainly my endurance is now better than it was. So as I was on the machines at PT this morning breathing pretty hard as I used the recumbent bike-like thing and then the upper body cycle-like thing I thought to myself "if you were still smoking there is no way you would have the lung capacity to do this" and that really struck me - I do not want to be limited in my physical abilities, I want to have the flexibility and strength to do what I want to do in life especially as I am getting older. That is certainly a thought I can now focus on to help me when the desire to have a smoke (or eat things I should not) comes over me since both the smoking and carrying excess weight impose physical limits. Thanks again for your support and encouragement.

Dec 28, 2020 02:12PM abigailj wrote:

that’s some powerful motivation MinusTwo! Although my bones were good at last density test around 2 years ago when I was 61 I was foolishly still on HRT then. SoI’ll be looking to add some weight bearing exercise to the routine as well - PT had me do one today, raising my arms up together to one side at a time with a weight that looked like a plastic coated soccer ball - it’s a start 😊

Jan 23, 2021 08:02PM MinusTwo wrote:

Carol - so nice to hear from you and discover you are loving retirement. Strange times. Wow, the garden sounds amazing. What a LOT of work to 'put up' all those things. And good for you sewing & listing things on etsy,

I'm sorry to say I've slacked off on the walking since January 1st. Instead of only missing one or two days a month, now I'm missing two or three days a week. Oh well. I'm still getting in over 25 miles a week and I have to remember I DESERVE to sit in my recliner and read if I want to. My only outings are to the grocery store every two weeks. Before it got colder a group of neighbors got together several times in one of our driveways for a 'sit & sip'. Everyone brought their own chairs & their own drinks.

Interesting about the smoking. Glad you found something that works for you. I'd love to smoke on the beach (or anywhere really), but I KNOW I truly can not have just one. Sort of like how I approach Cheetos even though it was a Lay's PT chip advert. Open a bag - finish the bag.. I'm going on 15 years out now and there are still several times a month that I miss it. Oh, it's just a flash & not angst, but I loved everything about smoking. Walking around the neighborhood I veer closer to those homes where it's obvious people smoke. It's my bloodhound tendencies. So that makes me weird again. Most former smokers can't stand the smell of cigarette smoke. I gravitate towards it.

Thanks for writing Carol. Found it interesting reading there's not much ice on the Great lakes this year. I can't remember if you're on the UP, but hope your weather stays decent. Cancun will still be there next year.