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Oct 7, 2017 04:02AM
My thanks to everyone who has replied to date. I'm happy to hear from you!! I do feel comforted when I read your posts....the happy things and the sad things....I am not at all offended by anything that you write!! In fact, I feel connected when I come here. AHHHHHH, what a fantastic feeling!!!! It's not perfect here, but (for me) that's the most beautiful thing about this site!!! I feel your joys and your pains and I can absolutely relate to almost everything said!! It makes me feel "normal" in a world where I just don't seem to fit (since 2014). My world has changed and try as I might....I don't think it will ever be the same again. I literally feel like.....a fish out of water.
I used to feel so badly for those people who had to learn to walk and talk and all of that sort of thing, all over again (say, following an accident or horrible incident). I wondered how they heck they pulled themselves out of that broken place and actually made themselves whole again!!! I'm learning that anyone can heal if they are honest about the extent of their injuries and if they have lots of REAL HELP. With breast cancer, some of my injuries can be seen in the mirror.....but most of them, cannot! I've tried for these past three years to "square peg the round hole" and I have grown tired of it. I cannot and will not pretend anymore. There is no doubt in my mind, whatsoever, that I am STILL RECOVERING and for me....that's totally okay!!! I have good days and I have some really bad ones. I joke that I have a million new personalities to contend with.....AND I DO!!! lol
By the time I complete my "training" (is that what they call it when people are learning to walk again?) I will see one of those personalities rise to the top and replace the "me" that once was. Because she is definitely, by all accounts, GONE.
And btw, I'm never sure what people mean by "negative talk". I hear that phrase often on this site and it seems to mean something very different to me than it does to most folks. For me, words are either real or they are not real. Interpretations (i.e not the words) are the things which are negative or positive. Personally, I like your stories and your words....and although they may sometimes make me feel sad or scared or silly or even happy.....the point is...they make me FEEL and they CONNECT ME. We need human life-lines of all kinds and I'm so grateful for this site!! I'm grateful for each one of YOU!!! I'm not kidding!!!!!
Thanks for the last three years!!! This has been a safe place to come with my cup of coffee and comfiest pj's and just reeeeeaaaaad or write! I DEFINITELY want to start my own blog, as a result!
Have a wonderful day ladies AND GENTS!!! Or have a crappy one, if that's your "thing" today....I have no judgement either way!!!! But whatever you are feeling, please know that I hear you and I feel you and you definitely matter!!!!! ALWAYS MATTER!!!!! :) :) :)
I keep a playlist of songs that are like a soundtrack to my life....lately, I've been referring to this song....check it out and enjoy it!!! It's not a new song. Just a lovely song, in my arsenal of things that inspire and uplift me!! Google "Beautiful - By Marillion"