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Dec 2, 2019 07:45PM
Hello Arizona and everyone,
I get it, Arizona, I really do. I've had DCIS 3X since 1998. Left, Right, then right again. I had a double mx in 2016 followed by 2 years of reconstruction. Overall feeling great. Walked a half marathon 6 months out and 5-5ks therafter.
Then, I recently hit a wall. I got fired after my last surgery upon my return from medical leave. I was out for 6 months looking for work. Lost insurance, my daily routine, and money, lots of it, however, I had more time to rest. I cranked up my hobbies of painting and piano playing.
Now, this month December, I'm up for check ups. Then EVERYTHING started to flood me. I will NEVER be the same person I was. Never. That's ok. I'm a new person inside and out. Breast cancer changes things. A lot of things. It's also made me appreciate many things!
Fear kicks in from time to time but to me after a diagnosis, that's just plain normal. I currently feel free. This time of year dredges it all up for me!
I haven't been to a support group meeting in ages as aside from getting a new job 1 month ago, I'm nearing completion in a course of study in a few weeks.
I'm tired. I feel a little overwhelmed and I wish I was back to my original factory setting but that can't be. I keep on keepin' on. I'm a bad ass in striped pajamas! (Hey, I just made that up! Lol...) It's good I reached out to those who get it. To carry this burden IS a burden but I also carry the light of love, laughter, and hope! Some days it all just gets to me and you know what? It's ok! You're not alone, Arizona!!
Some days I'm the dog and other days I'm the hydrant! Thanks for letting me share this! I was busting!!
Love and hugs..
"No matter what's going on, I found, we all still need to buy toilet paper!"
11/1998, DCIS, Left, <1cm, Stage 0, ER-/PR-, HER2-
11/2006, DCIS, Right, <1cm, Stage 0, ER-/PR-, HER2-
11/2016, DCIS, Right, <1cm, Stage 0, ER-/PR-, HER2-