Topic: Having cancer and small children

Forum: Family and Family Planning Matters — A comforting place to discuss planning a family, fertility concerns, parenting children, or relationship issues with partners, siblings, or parents following a diagnosis.

Posted on: Feb 17, 2016 10:52PM

Posted on: Feb 17, 2016 10:52PM

heidi16 wrote:

I have just been diagnosed with IDC, grade 3 (staging etc. pending). I am a stay-at-home mom with a 2 year old and wonder if anyone can share their tips to minimize the effects that this "change" will have on small children? Any advice from moms with toddlers while undergoing treatment greatly appreciated!

Dx 2/17/2016, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IB, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 3/9/2016 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Right) Chemotherapy 4/27/2016 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 8/2/2016 Hormonal Therapy 10/1/2016 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Sep 9, 2020 12:45PM - edited Sep 9, 2020 12:50PM by Seilien

I just wanted to update my situation. I have not been able to actively play with my 2 yr old but family really has come often and makes my daughter happy. Unfortunately it is a lot for my husband but maybe its just good bonding for my daughter and everyone else. She visits me in bed a lot and understands I'm sick. She has become very independent in terms of play and bathroom.

I usually feel guilty or too tired which is also guiltying. I'm trying to slowly increase my energy.

Dx 7/30/2018, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, ER+/PR-, HER2+ Radiation Therapy 6/1/2019 Whole breast: Breast, Brain Surgery 11/22/2019 Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 7/28/2020 Xeloda (capecitabine) Surgery 8/28/2020 Reconstruction (left)
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Nov 15, 2020 10:30PM vidal1993 wrote:

Hello Everyone:

My wife has Stage 2A, and is ER/PR positive, HER2 negative. At the time of her June 2019 diagnosis, our daughters were 4 and 6 years old. We found a book called "Cancer Hates Kisses" very helpful for our children. In my opinion, they have adjusted remarkably well although they were initially upset when my wife lost her hair. She has undergone two surgeries, chemotherapy and radiation treatment. She is now taking Hormone therapy and complains she feels worse than she ever did.

We have tried our very best to maintain our parenting roles to the extent possible. My wife would pick them up from school (luckily, school is right across the street). We have also watched out for any signs, ie. drawings or paintings that might indicate hidden fears or stress. I think that my (now) 5 year old is a little clingy but slowly growing out of it. COVID-19 has actually helped us in some ways as I am working from home full time and able to help prepare breakfast and lunches in the mornings, and able to go get dinner at night if necessary.

I would echo the comments to accept help and do away with perfection regarding meals. My wife pushes herself sometimes too hard and I will often insist that it is ok to have McDonalds or fast food more than 1 night a week to take the pressure off.

I'll try to think of a few more things to add here.

Good luck to everyone.

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