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All TopicsForum: Family Matters → Topic: BUYING A NEW HOUSE - HELP!


Forum: Family Matters —

A comforting place to discuss parenting children, or issues with partners, siblings, or parents following a diagnosis.

Posted on: Oct 9, 2017 01:45PM

readytorock wrote:


I am three years cancer free/NED (yay!) and my husband and I have finally resumed house hunting and will be closing on the house of our dreams in November. But OMG am I having anxiety about it! All cancer-related - what if we finally buy this house and I find out a month later that I am Stage IV - that kind of thinking. I was in such a panic during the process that I wanted to make the sale contingent on a clean MRI, but I just had one in July, so I don't think the doctor would have approved!

Anyone else have difficulty MOVING ON (ha - literally!) Any suggestions?

Dx 8/11/2014, ILC, Left, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 1/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 9/1/2014 Lumpectomy: Left Chemotherapy 11/11/2014 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 9/21/2015 Surgery Hormonal Therapy Radiation Therapy Whole-breast
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Oct 9, 2017 06:55PM edwards750 wrote:

Congrats on the dream house to be!

My advice to you is don't buy trouble. Be happy you are 3 years out. None of us have guarantees - by the way I'm 6 years out - but with each passing year you become a little less anxious.

We are branded with the C word but it doesn't define us. We just drew an unlucky card. BC research and treatments have come a long way. While there is no cure there are reasons to be optimistic. I am the poster person for anxiety so for me to be optimistic is saying a lot.

You didn't ask for it but you got it and dealt with it. You have done all you can. Give yourself permission to be happy and not focus on something that may or may not happen. Don't deprive yourself of happiness by focusing on the what ifs.

Good luck!


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Nov 8, 2017 11:24AM cajunqueen15 wrote:

Yes and yes! We sold the cancer house (the one we bought just prior to my diagnosis that I grew to loathe), our rental condo was severely damaged by Irma and we close on the home I love next week. I seriously considered waiting 5 years to buy a house, I just didn't want my husband to be stuck with the mortgage if I died. But I finally determined that life was for living, so I'm going to live.

Hugs and best wishes for your move! :)

35 @ dx. BRCA2. Disciple, wife, mother of twins (4) & son (3), attorney. e3 trial (complete). Blue/MammaPrint, High-risk Luminal B. Prolia (start 6/16). Dx 7/22/2015, DCIS, Left, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 8/28/2015, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 2/11 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/28/2015 Lymph node removal: Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant Surgery 4/12/2016 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 4/19/2016 Arimidex (anastrozole) Surgery 8/1/2017 Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant Radiation Therapy Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Chemotherapy AC + T (Taxol)
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Nov 8, 2017 12:20PM Herculesmulligan wrote:

readytorock: I'm also prone to anxiety over "what ifs". A trick I learned is to allow myself to thoroughly think through JUST ONCE the worst possible scenario. So here I would say to myself " so if we buy this house and move in and then I have a recurrence and struggle through treatment and die, what will happen? My husband will probably sell the house and I will have spent my last years in an awesome house. ". Fir me imagining in detail the worst possible outcome is therapeutic as long as I don't let it become an obsessive loop of thought.

Congrats on your new house. Enjoy it. You deserve to.

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Nov 8, 2017 04:48PM beach2beach wrote:

Go for it. I had the "what if's" all my life. It certainly can stop you from living. Having breast cancer and all that comes with it does enough of that for a while. Don't let the mind do it also. Like the above OP wrote, do the worst case scenario play out. Also do the scenario if you don't buy the house because you worried. Any happier? I doubt it. You'll just be cheating yourself out of something that obviously will give you joy.

Dx 7/28/2017, LCIS/DCIS/ILC, Right, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/8/2017 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Hormonal Therapy 9/11/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Nov 8, 2017 05:27PM SerenitySTAT wrote:

Congrats on the new house! We're in the middle of a complete kitchen renovation that was delayed by BC. I had those little what-if thoughts before I signed all the papers. I decided that I want us to enjoy our life now. Have fun!

"Do not overlook the little joys!" (Hesse, 1905) 🐶☕️🛀🖼🥐🌲🎭 Dx 11/2015 IDC Left IIIC 10/11 nodes ER+PR+HER2-, 12/2015 Left Mast, 2/2016 4 AC+12 Taxol, 9/2016 Rads Nodes Chest wall 15+4 boosts, 10/2016 Tamox
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Nov 8, 2017 07:19PM - edited Nov 8, 2017 07:20PM by EastcoastTS

Congrats on the house!

I'm in a similar boat. Started plans to build a new home before BC. We'd been preparing to sell our current home when diagnosis hit. Set me back a few months, but we're closing in Dec. ;) And I'm a little nervous -- which I never was with a move before. That could also be getting older.

Change is our only constant. And anyway...nothing ever goes quite like we plan. So enjoy that new dream home!!!! You deserve it!

Dx@ 49. Oncotype: 14, BRCA 1/2- Dx 1/4/2017, ILC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 2/26/2017 Mastectomy: Left; Prophylactic mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 9/7/2017 Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Nov 24, 2017 08:03AM SandiBeach57 wrote:

Move to your dream home!

I have Stage IV and we are closing on a new home in 2 months.

It is okay to think of the "what ifs". Have a plan in your mind, move forward and start packing!

So excited for you.

DCIS (L) 2006 with bil mx. DCIS (L) 2007 with radiation & Tamoxifen. Oct 2016 IDC Stage IV mets to liver, lung (Tumor Emboli Syndrome), bone. ER+ PR- HER2-. Oct 2016 AC, Jan 2017 Ibrance 100, Letrozole with Prolia/6mo.

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