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Apr 3, 2019 06:44AM
Apr 3, 2019 07:24AM
Believe it or not, some people think I should go around feeling only gratitude because I've had a good response to treatment for metastatic breast cancer. You know, that kind of blind mentality “be glad you're alive!" Please. I feel a whole mixture of emotions. I’m sure you do, too, even tho our situatiins are different.
I read an article about a new book (written by a therapist) called “Maybe You Should Talk To Somebody". (I plan to read the book). — “With startling wisdom and humor, Gottlieb invites us into her world as both clinician and patient, examining the truths and fictions we tell ourselves and others as we teeter on the tightrope between love and desire, meaning and mortality, guilt and redemption, terror and courage, hope and change.
She discusses how people tend to minimize pain, and here is an except from her book:
“On her belief that there's no hierarchy of pain:
As a therapist in therapy, I feel like often we minimize our problems. You know, "It was a breakup, not a divorce." It's kind of like people who have a miscarriage but they didn't lose a child who was 8 years old. They're these silent losses. ... I don't think there's a hierarchy of pain. ... Pain is pain.
So even when I was seeing this woman who was dying of cancer, for example, and [she] was in her 30s and newly married and all of a sudden she was dealing with this horrible life situation, and then I'd have to go to a session where someone says, "My husband never initiates sex" or "The babysitter's stealing from me." I used to worry that I would not take their problems as seriously. But what I realized is that usually the thing that they're having a problem with is indicative of a deeper pain. What does it mean to be rejected or unloved by your partner? What does it mean when someone betrays your trust?
I think that often we minimize our problems. We think, "Well, yeah, I've been sad for two months, but it's not that big of a deal because I have all these other great things in my life. I have a roof over my head, and I have a family" and whatever you might have.
But pain is pain."
found lump 12/22/10~er+/pr+/her2- stage iv bone mets~chemo~lumpectomy~radiation~arimidex~ "The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places."