Topic: I feel guilty complaining

Forum: Family and Family Planning Matters — A comforting place to discuss planning a family, fertility concerns, parenting children, or relationship issues with partners, siblings, or parents following a diagnosis.

Posted on: Mar 20, 2019 08:04AM - edited Mar 20, 2019 08:09AM by Via

Posted on: Mar 20, 2019 08:04AM - edited Mar 20, 2019 08:09AM by Via

Via wrote:

Do to the fact that my cancer came back not aggressive and we found it so early. I don't need any chemo or radiation. I only need hormone therapy and I don't feel I can open up to anyone on what am going trough. Its hard to complain about the surgery and the recovery that has been so painful to other. It seems my journey is a walk in the park because I won’t be having chemo or radiation. But, personally it has not been easy. My husband wants me to go to a group to talk to people other with cancer because I've been crying and I have felt no one understands what I'm going through.

But, how can I go to a group and complain or open up when I'm sure some others have to go through horrible treatment and I have none and here I am complaining. It does not seem right. But, I feel that this journey is hard even if I don't need treatment and the reconstruction of the breast is so painful and a life changing experience. I do feel alone in this journey. Not sure if someone else is in this lonely boat with me. That feel guilty of getting such good news I don’t need treatment. Anyone?


Via


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Apr 3, 2019 10:14PM Via wrote:

what you wrote is beautiful and to the point! So true!

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Apr 3, 2019 10:18PM Via wrote:

great isea

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Oct 4, 2019 02:47PM grayskies wrote:

I understand. I "only" have a tiny DCIS, so I shouldn't complain. I had the tiny bit removed via lumpectomy with clear margins. Yet I still have to do rads for some reason. I meet with the RO next week for the first time.

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Oct 4, 2019 03:36PM Yogatyme wrote:

Such good comments here!! I think regardless of our dx or tx, we are always waiting for the other shoe to fall and if others haven’t been in that situation they may not appreciate how this effects our emotions. It is hurtful when others appear to want us to “get over it”......you don’t get over it......you get through it and it’s a process w a range of emotions

Yogatyme Surgery 3/3/2019 Prophylactic ovary removal Dx 7/19/2019, IDC: Papillary, Right, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/13/2019 Mastectomy: Left, Right
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Oct 8, 2019 06:06PM IBJUSTFINE67 wrote:

Agree with everything you said.

Colleen Shaw Dx 7/9/2019, IDC, Right, Stage IB, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-, Dx 7/19/2019, IDC, Left, <1cm, Stage IB, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-, Surgery 8/12/2019 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant
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Oct 8, 2019 06:11PM IBJUSTFINE67 wrote:

Via...this is what I love about these boards...thoughts posted like this! First of all, so brave to say what you said. Second of all, I went through the same dilemma/hell in my mind. You are experiencing what my friend and I call, survivors guilt and I soooo agree with Divine in that it seems to be a thing also with us women minimizing things...also, it's you being compassionate. Maybe you would feel better being on a board for just stage 0 or stage 1? Anyway, I too felt guilty for how things turned out for me but it was quickly filled in with....oh my goodness!!! What hell I went through!! Journaling and talking to friends who never had breast cancer actually helps me the most. If you private message me, we can talk♡ i think we are on the same journey.

Colleen Shaw Dx 7/9/2019, IDC, Right, Stage IB, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-, Dx 7/19/2019, IDC, Left, <1cm, Stage IB, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-, Surgery 8/12/2019 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant

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