A comforting place to discuss planning a family, fertility concerns, parenting children, or relationship issues with partners, siblings, or parents following a diagnosis.
Posted on:
Aug 6, 2019 06:55PM
New Hampshire
Joined:
Aug 2019
Posts:
140
Latest activity:
Aug 1, 2021
Snaffle53
wrote:
Gee, tried to lean on my one and only alive sibling tonight before my procedure tomorrow. I got an earful on how i’m going to need to find the strength to get through this by myself. Insensitive much?
I guess even a health crisis can’t turn someone into somebody they are not. But her comments felt hurtful and harsh.
I’ve been doing pretty well with all this until my sister’s comments tonight. I am strong. I’ve been through more than anyone but my therapist knows. I will get through this. I guess I asked the wrong person for a little hand holding tonight. Time to put my big girl panties on and stand on my own two feet, I guess. Still, it’s a disappointment.
Dx
8/23/2019, Right, 2/9 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2-
Chemotherapy
8/27/2019 AC + T (Taxol)
Surgery
2/24/2020 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left
Surgery
2/24/2020 Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary
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CindyNY
Joined:
Nov 2017
Posts:
838
Latest activity:
Oct 25, 2021
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Aug 6, 2019 08:33PM
- edited
Aug 6, 2019 08:34PM
by
CindyNY
I'm not sure what procedure you're having, but there are forums on here for lumpectomy and I believe masectomy too. Reach out on one of them and you will get a lot of support.
Best of luck to you.
dx at 58, no family history, onco = 19
Dx
10/6/2017, DCIS/IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Surgery
10/31/2017 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel
Surgery
11/13/2017 Lumpectomy: Left
Radiation Therapy
12/26/2017 Whole-breast: Breast
Hormonal Therapy
3/1/2018 Arimidex (anastrozole)
DiagnosisDi…
Washington
Joined:
Jul 2018
Posts:
108
Latest activity:
Jan 4, 2020
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Aug 6, 2019 08:42PM
DiagnosisDisruption
wrote:
It is quite crazy who shows up for you after a cancer diagnosis, and who ducks out. Family I though would be there, were nowhere around, and others I hadn't talked to in years, sent me stuff from Amazon and Costco frequently. They each take the news differently. Still, I'm sorry your flesh and blood put you in this spot.
Good luck with your surgery!
Dx
12/8/2017, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+
Targeted Therapy
1/22/2018 Herceptin (trastuzumab)
Chemotherapy
1/22/2018 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel)
Targeted Therapy
1/23/2018 Perjeta (pertuzumab)
Surgery
5/22/2018 Lumpectomy: Left
Surgery
6/12/2018 Lumpectomy: Left
Radiation Therapy
7/18/2018 Whole-breast: Breast
Hormonal Therapy
10/9/2018 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
Wised
Ohio
Joined:
Oct 2018
Posts:
349
Latest activity:
Oct 25, 2021
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Aug 6, 2019 11:18PM
Wised
wrote:
Good luck with your surgery. I will sit with you for a time until you feel calm. Cancer does something strange to our relationships, some relationships aren't sturdy enough to withstand the pressure that comes along with the endless tests, appointments, scans, caustic drugs, surgeries, etc... Some people have not developed the skill set they need to be a supportive person. I hope you will be happy surprised by the people who do show up to support you.
Diana
Stage 3 colon cancer treated in 2015/16. Factor 13 bleeding disorder. OncotypeDX 8. Lymphedema dx 3/19.
Dx
9/12/2018, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC)
Surgery
10/9/2018 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel
Hormonal Therapy
10/17/2018 Arimidex (anastrozole)
Radiation Therapy
11/18/2018 Whole-breast: Breast
edwards750
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Feb 2011
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3,700
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Oct 25, 2021
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Aug 7, 2019 09:04AM
edwards750
wrote:
Snaffle - that is disappointing. If you can’t rely on your family who can you count on? Mine was supportive plus my sister and I and my SIL all had BC. My sister still does. Unfortunately her’s has metastasized to her stomach. It’s heartbreaking.
You can do this with or without your sister. We are proof of that.
Diane
Jelson
Joined:
May 2009
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1,486
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Oct 26, 2021
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Aug 7, 2019 09:50AM
Jelson
wrote:
Snaffle, I read through your other posts - you have already been through a bunch of diagnostic procedures. This is a terrible time for you - still learning the scope of the problem so no treatment plan, yet. The mostly kindly interpretation of your sister's comments would be they are the result of emotional fatigue and fear for you. Some people are incapable of providing emotional support, but they can come through with concrete assistance when they better understand what is necessary, and some people are incapable of either. I hope, in addition to the supportive community you have here, you will find friends and acquaintances near you to provide you with everything you need and I hope your sister surprises you in a good way.
Dx
4/17/2009, DCIS, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/0 nodes, ER+/PR+