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Topic: Foster-to-adopt after Stage IV diagnosis

Forum: Family and Family Planning Matters —

A comforting place to discuss planning a family, fertility concerns, parenting children, or relationship issues with partners, siblings, or parents following a diagnosis.

Posted on: Jan 1, 2020 10:07PM - edited Jan 1, 2020 10:09PM by Theo89

Theo89 wrote:

Hello all!

I was diagnosed recurrence in June 2019 but this time with stage IV/metastatic breast cancer. My wife and I cannot have children due to my prognosis and her recent hysterectomy/oophorectomy (due to early-stage endometrial cancer). Not sure if I need to clear this up, but despite my username, I am female—I am non-binary transmasculine, however.

Is there anyone here with stage IV BC that has had success with fostering/adoption/both after their diagnosis? We just filled out an application and I had to put any serious illnesses which, obviously, yes, I have. It shouldn't be a hinderance because I am very stable and my oncologist willwrite me a “of sound mind and body" report, but I'm still nervous we'll get rejected.


TK Dx 6/22/2016, IDC, Right, 4cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (IHC) Chemotherapy 8/3/2016 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel) Targeted Therapy 8/3/2016 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 8/3/2016 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Surgery 12/30/2016 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Targeted Therapy 1/25/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Hormonal Therapy 1/29/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Targeted Therapy 3/19/2018 Nerlynx Dx 6/12/2019, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver/other, ER+/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy Faslodex (fulvestrant)
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Jan 1, 2020 10:44PM TB90 wrote:

Theo89: First of all, thanks so much for wanting to care for children needing parents. There are so many. The process of placing children with temporary or permanent parents is quite complex. Of course, the children’s needs are paramount. Fostering and adoption are very different. Foster care is focused on returning children to their birth parents. It is often temporary and therefore the requirements are less stringent. But fostering can take such an emotional toil on the foster parents. Caring and loving a child to enable them to return to their birth parents asks so much from their foster parents. This truly takes a special person and persons. That can place the needs of a child and their birth parents above their own. And adoption may involve the birth parent in choosing the adoptive parent. Given the highly competitive nature of this selective process, having health challenges and other issues such as income, etc may impair your chances. It really depends on the needs of the child, the preferences of the birth parent and the policies of the agency. If you are already fostering a child you hope to adopt, that is a whole other situation. If willing, perhaps share a bit more info. If you are the best placement for a child, then it is meant to be.

Dx 11/28/2013, DCIS, Grade 2 Surgery 12/17/2013 Mastectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 2/19/2014 Breast

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