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Topic: My partner

Forum: For Caregivers, Family, Friends and Supporters —

A place to share your struggles and concerns about supporting and caring for a person you love diagnosed with breast cancer with others who understand.

Posted on: Oct 7, 2015 12:03AM

Julie-MN wrote:

My mother died of breast cancer many years ago after kicking it's butt for 16 years! Needless to say I know the worst case scenario of breast cancer.

Now facing that my partner has breast cancer, chemo starts next Wednesday. I'm mad, scared, overwhelmed, all the normal range of emotions. I hope I can give her everything she needs both physically and emotionally.

I guess I just need to connect with others going thru the same thing.

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Oct 7, 2015 06:53AM Moderators wrote:

Hi Julie,

We're so sorry to hear the news that your partner is going through this but you've come to the right place for connecting with others who understand.

The road ahead will be challenging but please know that you both are not alone.

You might find reading others stories of being a caregiver in the link below helpful.

Being A Caregiver

Sending our warm and healing wishes to you both,

The Moderators.

To send a Private Message to the Mods: community.breastcancer.org/mem...
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Oct 7, 2015 12:47PM MelanieBC wrote:

Hugs Julie. I am sorry you are going through this nightmare all over again. No one deserves to have to live it or have a loved one go through it.

All I can say is use everything you learned with your mom to help your partner. It is tough to know what to say or do at the best of times but this makes it much worse. My mom has BC and as much as I try to do and say the right thing, sometimes it isn't. It is a learning curve.

Caregiver to my Mother who was diagnosed on August 27, 2015. Together, we will fight the battle against Breast Cancer! Dx 8/27/2015, ILC/IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, 22/33 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 9/11/2015 Chemotherapy 11/6/2015 Fluorouracil (5-fluorouracil, 5-FU, Adrucil), Taxol (paclitaxel) Radiation Therapy 3/31/2016 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 4/30/2016 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Oct 7, 2015 02:35PM Shelly1953 wrote:

Hi Julie,

I'm so sorry you have to go thru this again with a loved one. I just wanted to add that new treatments have made a difference in survival rates. Chances are that your partner will do OK. Won't be easy as all of us can testify, but can be done. As suggested, find the board that deals with the kind of cancer that she is dealing with. As you go along, many tips and help can be offered that might not be suggested by your Oncological team. Good luck to both of you.

Dx 9/3/2009, ILC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+
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Oct 7, 2015 09:32PM Julie-MN wrote:

Thank you everyone for your kind words. I don't know what else to say.

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Oct 13, 2015 11:14AM Moderators wrote:

Julie, just know we're all here for you, when you do find the words, or if you have any questions at all about your partner's diagnosis, treatment, etc. Also, you may want to mention to her that she might find comfort and information here, if she'd like to open an account!

Thinking of you both,

--The Mods

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Oct 13, 2015 12:58PM MelanieBC wrote:

I hope you are doing okay Julie and your partner as well. Please check in when you can.

Caregiver to my Mother who was diagnosed on August 27, 2015. Together, we will fight the battle against Breast Cancer! Dx 8/27/2015, ILC/IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, 22/33 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 9/11/2015 Chemotherapy 11/6/2015 Fluorouracil (5-fluorouracil, 5-FU, Adrucil), Taxol (paclitaxel) Radiation Therapy 3/31/2016 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 4/30/2016 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Oct 14, 2015 12:11AM Julie-MN wrote:

The last few days have felt like we are on a speeding train. Friday the port was put in, today was the echocardiogram and the"survivorship" class where chemo will be given. Tomorrow morning I hit the pharmacy for all the scripts and at 1pm is the first chemo treatment. We did find out that she won't have to go get the white blood booster shot the day after chemo. They use a patch that injects it 27 hours (I think) after it is put on. Nice to know if she is feeling rotten she won't have to go out, that is something to be thankful for.

The anxiety level is pretty high with us both, fear of the unknown. I'm sad I have to continue working during this fight, but thankful that they have been so good about me missing so much work during this. I hope that support continues.

I'm trying to be thankful for the little things, many have it much worse. Taking it day by day all the while saying this is NOT how our story ends.

Thanks for a safe place that allows me to post my feelings.

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Dec 21, 2015 02:13PM Griselda13 wrote:

I too am the partner of a Metastatic patient. My partner (together 30 years, married 2) was diagnosed in October. She is is the second round of chemo with Abraxane. Julie-MN, I hear you: mad, scared, overwhelmed. We are having a particularly difficult time because she is so weak. I can't believe the people on here talking about travel, work, exercise, etc. My wife can barely get up from a chair without help. She eats next to nothing. She doesn't have the energy to read a book! I don't see how she's going to get through the next week, much less the 6 months of treatment. I am in despair as nothing seems to help. I'm afraid I'm going to lose her sooner rather than later, and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do about it.

Dx 10/2015, IDC, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/lungs/other, ER+, HER2- Chemotherapy Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel)
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Dec 21, 2015 04:12PM Moderators wrote:

Dear Griselda13, We are so sorry about your partner's breast cancer but we are very glad that you reached out here to our community. We hear how very hard it is to support a loved one who is struggling with this disease. Please stay connected here and keep posting so that others can chime in with support and information. The Mods

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Feb 11, 2016 08:56PM NEPatriots wrote:

Hi Julie, I was in your shoes a year ago, when my Partner was diagnosed. I lost my sister in law to breast cancer, in 2009. I was one of her caregivers and similar to you, have seen the worst of breast cancer. When my partner's care team suggested that she might be stage IV (it wasn't), I fainted. Some pillar of support, I was! It just all came back like a nightmare. Her oncologist told me that there have been so many more advancements even just in the past 5-6 years. We have to hang onto that and have faith.

To say that the past year has been challenging, would be an understatement. My partner had two rounds of chemo, mastectomy and radiation. That doesn't even cover all of the physical and emotional challenges. It's a long road but, you can get through it together. Even if there are times when you both just want to runaway!

You will look at your relationship with a new perspective. You'll learn to no longer sweat the small stuff. It's all so inconsequential when you're going through something like this.Be kind to one another. It's ok for you to ask her for comfort, too. Take care of yourself and remember that you are going through this too, albeit differently than she.

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Feb 11, 2016 10:24PM Moderators wrote:

NEPatriots-

Thank you for sharing your story, the support and experiences from other members are always welcome and make this community so amazing. We wish you and your partner well!

The Mods

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Jul 11, 2019 12:03PM dylanc wrote:

Thanks for sharing your story. I hope that you're getting better, and I'll make sure to pray for you.

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