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Topic: Mom just had Mastectomy. Struggling.

Forum: Caring for Someone with Breast cancer —

A place to share your struggles and concerns about supporting and caring for a person you love diagnosed with breast cancer with others who understand.

Posted on: Jan 30, 2016 11:08PM

lcl wrote:

Hi Friends,

My mother was diagnosed with Invasive Lobular Carcinoma Stage 2, just before this past Thanksgiving. This past Monday, she had a full Mastectomy. Only one lymph node showed cancer. I'm very nervous about this, but her surgeon seemed optimistic? Obviously, it has been a very hard week--I will forever have her face seeing her chest for the first time post mastectomy burned into my memory. Just devastating.

I live 4 hours from her and my family, so I took this whole last week off to be with her--making dinners for her and my family, organizing a meal train for her, grocery shopping, managing her drain output, making sure she has her pain meds, all of the things we do to help. My dad and sibling are less than helpful at this point and I'm leaving to go back home tomorrow. I'm so ridden with guilt. I feel like I'm abandoning her. I can't stop crying and I just FUCKING HATE CANCER. it's hard to be optimistic when I'm so afraid. I don't want her to ever leave. I love her so much.

Thank you for letting me vent.

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Jan 30, 2016 11:58PM - edited Jan 30, 2016 11:59PM by ash123

Dear ICI

I am a mother of a daughter who is out of country and wanted to leave her medial studies for me to come to USA and be with me during surgery, so I can definitely understand your emotions. Nut shell I did not let her do that. You need someone the first 10 days from surgery to help you physically, at least it was my experience. You can always text her and call her. I am not sure if your mom has done chemo or not. I needed more support during my chemo. Your mom is lucky she has a daughter like you. My love for you. May He give strength to your mom and take care of her.

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Feb 1, 2016 06:56AM Moderators wrote:

Hi lcl, welcome to We're sorry that you have to be here and for your mom's diagnosis but we're glad that you've found this wonderful community. We're sure you'll find plenty of support and reassurance here!

Please let us know if you need anything from us. Wishing the very best for you and your mom.

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Feb 1, 2016 10:27PM Meow13 wrote:

It is very devastating, but having reconstruction with DIEP really made me feel whole again.

99.9% of my suffering was emotional, I think oncologists have lost sight of that. I love my plastic surgeon.

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