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Topic: Article for family of cancer pts to know what NOT to say to them

Forum: Caring for Someone with Breast cancer —

A place to share your struggles and concerns about supporting and caring for a person you love diagnosed with breast cancer with others who understand.

Posted on: Mar 28, 2016 10:05PM

Artista928 wrote:

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2016/mar/...


Dx'd at 50. Doing it all, all by myself. Stopped Letrozole after 5 weeks. Debilitating se's. Back on Tamox now. Dx 6/2/2015, IDC, Left, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (DUAL) Surgery 8/6/2015 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left; Prophylactic mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 11/3/2015 AC + T (Taxotere) Radiation Therapy 5/2/2016 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Hormonal Therapy 6/28/2016 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Surgery 12/9/2016 Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant Hormonal Therapy 2/14/2017 Femara (letrozole) Hormonal Therapy 3/26/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Surgery 9/1/2017 Reconstruction (right): Fat grafting, Silicone implant
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Mar 29, 2016 09:31AM LisaAlissa wrote:

Wonderful article. Thank you so much for posting it.

Even one of the comments had an amazing insight for me. I hadn't realize that the attitude that engenders so many of the silly things that people say that are so hurtful is a continuation of an attitude out of the Middle Ages that illness is a sign of sinfulness and failure.

It never has made sense: "if only we can live "right"--do all of the right things we will never get ill and, consequently will never die." But it's all about fear.

Thank you very much for posting it...I almost didn't read it, but am very glad I did!

LisaAlissa

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Mar 29, 2016 01:10PM octogirl wrote:

Thank you! I have been wallowing in a bit of self-blame the last day or two...and this really helped. We shouldn't say these stupid things to ourselves either!

Hugs!

Octogirl

Dx 6/18/2015, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/16/2015 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 9/8/2015 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 12/15/2015 Hormonal Therapy 1/14/2016 Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy 4/8/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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Mar 29, 2016 06:42PM StaceySue2U wrote:

This part really resonates with me:

"Don't tell a sick or injured person what they should do, because it's a sneaky and harmful way of dealing with your own fear of death. You're saying, tsk tsk – I wouldn't let this happen to me the way you've let it happen to you."

Honestly - I think that's what all the "cancer prevention" advice in the media is. It's just a way for people to convince ourselves that we have control over their health and, if we follow the rules, it won't happen to us. I followed the D(*& rules.

Age 46 at diagnosis - the babies in my avatar are my two adorable granddaughters, Azalea and Violet :) The lights of my life. Dx 1/28/2016, IDC, Right, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 2/25/2016 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Hormonal Therapy 3/22/2016 Femara (letrozole) Surgery 11/2/2016 Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant

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