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Topic: Any young adults with no family taking care of your loved one?

Forum: Caring for Someone with Breast cancer —

A place to share your struggles and concerns about supporting and caring for a person you love diagnosed with breast cancer with others who understand.

Posted on: May 23, 2016 08:09AM

abb25 wrote:

My mom was diagnosed with inflammatory breast cancer that has no spread to the spinal fluid and is under Cedar Sainis Care. With all the good and bad her strength always makes me cry...she's the most amazing soul

But on my end, I dont have any blood family besides her and I'm terrified. Being 29, taking care of all her appointments alone and needing to work in-order to pay for life.... I just feel burnt out and depressed.

Is there anyone here in a similar situation as mine?


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May 23, 2016 08:12AM Jenwith4kids wrote:

I'm so sorry for you. Have you reached out the American Cancer Society? Or the child-life team at Cedars Sinai? I know you aren't a child, but I bet they can put you in touch with someone. You need to take care of yourself too.

So many changes since 1/8/2014 - Much good has come from the bad, and I do remember to allow myself the fact that "it's okay to not be okay". Looking forward to having this further and further behind me each day. Dx 1/9/2014, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 5/14 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 2/14/2014 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Surgery 2/14/2014 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 2/14/2014 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary Chemotherapy 3/20/2014 AC Chemotherapy 5/15/2014 Taxol (paclitaxel) Surgery 9/2/2014 Prophylactic ovary removal Radiation Therapy 9/8/2014 Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 9/12/2014 Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy 3/5/2015 Femara (letrozole) Surgery 4/27/2015 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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May 23, 2016 03:06PM Moderators wrote:

Abb25-

We're so sorry, it sounds like you're very overwhelmed with all that is going on! Jen is right, it's so important to take care of yourself in the midst of all of this, even though it might not seem like a priority. She has some good suggestions about where to reach out for help; you also have the support of this entire community here for you! Please use these forums as much as you need, everyone here knows what you're going through and there is always someone around with an ear and some supportive words.

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May 24, 2016 10:14AM ShetlandPony wrote:

Abb, bless you for being there for your mom. Please ask the social workers at Cedars about support for you, both practical and emotional. That's one reason the hospital social workers are there, and they are usually full of helpful ideas and resources.

Also, here are some in-person family and caregiver support groups in your area:

http://cancersupportcommunitybenjamincenter.org/ca...

And of course, BCO is a great source of online support 24/7.


2011 Stage I ILC 1.5cm grade1 ITCs sn Lumpectomy,radiation,tamoxifen. 2014 Stage IV ILC mets breast,liver. TaxolNEAD. Ibrance+letrozole 2yrs. Fas+afinitor nope. XelodaNEAD 2yrs. Eribulin,Doxil nope. SUMMIT FaslodexHerceptinNeratinib for Her2mut NEAD
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May 31, 2016 07:04AM GoldenGirls wrote:

I am older than you (early 40s) and though I have two siblings, I am the only one looking after my mother 99% of the time. I am right in the throes of feeling overwhelmed by all that comes with being the only caregiver to a mom with stage IV cancer and know how you feel.

These past few months have been especially trying and just when the chemo made her stable again, her new treatment has given her debilitating pain and in recent days a whole other slew of crazy symptoms that are bringing her down physically and emotionally. I'm the only one she calls for anything and my brother's hardly even call her to see how she is, let alone step up and help unless I tell them to.

Like you, I go to all of her appointments, am running all of her errands, and constantly trying to be her cheerleader and help raise her spirits all while trying to work so I can pay for living. On top of all that, having to see the realities of her situation and be all about the cancer 24-7 makes it impossible to feel relaxed or even just normal for a little bit. I also seem to have reached a point where the couple of people that would listen when I needed to talk are no longer interested in listening and one of them even seems to be passing judgement because until you've dealt with it first hand, it's very easy to believe that you'd never complain or get frustrated helping a loved one. It is a very isolating position to be in and I really feel for you.

This site has helped me a lot. Being in Canada though, our resources are different so I don't have any suggestions in that sense.

Feel free to message me anytime you want even if you just want to vent to someone who gets it.

Hugs

Mom was originally dx in 10/2001. Mets to bones and 2 supraclavicular nodes in 01/2013. She passed away from complications from bone metastases Dec 2016.

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