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Topic: I have loved her most of my life - how do I survive this?

Forum: For Caregivers, Family, Friends and Supporters —

A place to share your struggles and concerns about supporting and caring for a person you love diagnosed with breast cancer with others who understand.

Posted on: Apr 16, 2017 01:13AM

keithw wrote:

I'm 55. I have loved my lady since I was 17. I was in high school when I met her, and she was married. It took twenty-three years for her husband to finally break their bonds. I re-united with her in 2001. How do I survive losing her again? I went to school out west and loved the dry air, being an asthmatic. I am thinking about moving out there with our cats, cat rescues I would not love if it hadn't been for her . Taking care of them is about the only thing keeping me from the thought of eating a bullet. How do I survive losing her?

Love of my life DX'd Stage IV MBC Sept 13, 2012 - ER+, PR = "Focally positive for PR (30%,2+)" , HER2-, Met in L3 lumbar (removed), lymph node under left arm involved, left breast source. Radiation of spine, Xgeva, Anastrozole.
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Apr 16, 2017 05:29AM Traveltext wrote:

Losing a loved one is always hard. You could console yourself somewhat by understanding that she has survived five years since her Stage IV diagnosis, which is a longer time than many people here have had. I believe you should seek out the best possible palliative care and be guided by the professionals as you progress these last months of her life. Try to stay in the present and not worry about what you propose to do after she passes. I wish you well in this difficult time.


One percent of those newly diagnosed with breast cancer are guys. I'm one of those. Recently diagnosed and treated for prostate cancer. Now NED for both. More on Male BC here. Dx 3/6/2014, IBC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIIB, Grade 2, 2/23 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 3/17/2014 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Ellence (epirubicin), Fluorouracil (5-fluorouracil, 5-FU, Adrucil), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 7/28/2014 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 9/14/2014 Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 11/3/2014 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Apr 16, 2017 08:22PM littleblueflowers wrote:

Don't eat a bullet, Keith. She wouldn't want that. It isn't clear if your dear one has passed, or if you are experiencing anticipatory grief. Keep talking to us. We will do our best.

If it stops the nightmares, it probably won't kill me Dx 3/9/2015, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IB, Grade 3, 2/16 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Surgery 3/9/2015 Mastectomy: Left, Right Radiation Therapy Lymph nodes Chemotherapy AC + T (Taxol)
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Apr 17, 2017 07:33PM Meadow wrote:

Keith, I am so sorry for your sadness, your loss. Please know that there is purpose and joy, even after great loss. Please do talk to a professional to help with such strong emotions. Do you have a support group of family, friends? Let us know how you are.

Dx 8/15/2013, IBC, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 8/26/2013 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 1/13/2014 Lymph node removal: Left; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant Radiation Therapy 2/11/2014 Breast, Lymph nodes

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