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Topic: Why do only bad things happen to me

Forum: Caring for Someone with Breast cancer —

A place to share your struggles and concerns about supporting and caring for a person you love diagnosed with breast cancer with others who understand.

Posted on: Oct 31, 2017 11:31PM

cultank wrote:

Today my mum told me she was diagnosed with breast cancer. We're waiting on the biopsy results that are due tomorrow but her first doctor did not seem confident it would be a good outcome. After first ultrasound, the doctors were all convinced that she has cancer at least in her breast and possibly the lymph nodes and who knows where else.

My mum is only 45 years old and I am 17 and this is not the first major hardship we have experienced. We've lived through years of domestic violence and abuse, my brother has severe behavioural issues that make my life miserable and we've been living on the poverty line for over a decade now.

The fact the doctors are so concerned is scaring me so much and I don't want my mum to die. It feels like every time the start of something good is happening, a hundred awful things get lumped on top. We were going to go overseas next month until we were first evicted from our house and now my mums to have a mastectomy, reconstruction and radiation, possibly with chemo added as well.

We're telling my 13 year old brother today, who I know will be devastated, just as I am.

Why does it feel like nothing good is ever happening? Has anyone else been in a similar situation?

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Nov 1, 2017 01:16AM Moderators wrote:


Oh, we are so very sorry. We completely understand how you're feeling, and it's not fair. This is a lot for a 17-year old to deal with! And it sounds like you've already dealt with and been through so much. We just want you to know that you're not alone, and even though you're much younger than many of our members, we are here to support you and your mom through this. Try to stay focused on the positive, and just take it day by day.

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Nov 3, 2017 11:54PM - edited Nov 4, 2017 11:55AM by zohra

Hi Cultank,

I am sorry that you are going through that tough time.

Mostly , people are in their 50+ when they take responsibility of their senior parents. But, I had this responsibility when I was only 27 years old. I was taking care of my elderly father. When he passed away my mom diagnosed with breast cancer. Her treatment was long and painful. I was new in US and I had to deal with my parents sickness and my life. ( it's not easy when you are new in a country)

I didn't born in US I came from one of third world countries. Same like you I have past of abuse and domestic violence. So , please don't think you are only one who is going through that. Be parpare for your mother treatment. It's long or short butpainful but it's worth it. Since, you are not going to lose your mother. ( if you really love your mom)

Life is never fair but we have to dealt with it.

I don't know where you live but just in case

I live in VA any thing if I could help let me know. You could massage me privately.

Be well


Dx 10/25/2012, ILC, Stage IIIB, Grade 2, HER2-
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Nov 5, 2017 08:25AM edwards750 wrote:

OMG you are so young to be dealing with this. Now you have to be the mother. It’s a scary disease but wait and see what the doctors say. Please reach out to anyone who can help you. You don’t need to take this all on yourself.

Hopefully your doctor can provide a social worker or advocate. Let them help. You and your mom will need all the support you can get. It’s okay we all leaned on someone.

Keep us posted and we will help you in any way we can. This is a great website.

What a loving and caring daughter you are. Thing is no you or your mother or brother don’t deserve this. Neither do we. None of us asked for it but we are living proof you can get through this.

Keep the faith.


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