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Topic: Lost Mom awhile ago... Still feels fresh...

Forum: Caring for Someone with Breast cancer —

A place to share your struggles and concerns about supporting and caring for a person you love diagnosed with breast cancer with others who understand.

Posted on: Feb 9, 2018 06:58PM

FrozenInTime226 wrote:

I don't really know if this is the right place for me. Or if I'm just supposed to have been able to get passed this feeling by now. I guess I'm hoping someone out there has some advice, I have a very limited of friends and they don't really understand the pain I am in.

I'm not the best with writing or talking about feelings or anything. All I really know is that I feel alone and emotionally drained and pained. Sorry if you are reading this and it doesn't make much sense. I have been mentally jumbled a lot lately.

Feb 3 2011, my mother passed away from complications associated with Triple Negative Breast Cancer. She was my best friend. She was the only person I felt 100% comfortable leaning on, even though there were times I would tell myself that I wasn't and was fine without her, I always knew that she would be there when I needed her. Until she wasn't.

It's 7 years later. But the events of that night and the weeks prior are still very much alive in my head. I can replay every moment in my head. From the day a week before, when I left her in her bedroom to head back to college, knowing while I was driving away that I would most likely never be able to have any more time with her.

To the day my father called me and told me I needed to come back home immediately. The three hour car trip was horrible. I made it just in time to say good bye, unfortunately I could not control my emotions and was forced to leave the room because it was too painful for my mom.

My mom and I had a very close bond, my brothers and dad were not as close unfortunately. Not that we ever experienced a seperation like so many other families have to endure. Just I was always able to sit and talk to my mom or just sit and feel at ease. My dad and I have gotten much closer, I'm thankful for that but I don't want him to worry about me. My brothers and I don't have much communication and don't seem to have an understanding of each other.

I usually lean on my best friend but she has found a new relationship and is unable to help me this year. I don't want to blame this being so bad on that, but I guess for sure not having her there as a distraction is not allowing my brain to get away from the pain.

I guess what I am wondering is, does it really ever get better? Does any one have some ideas of what I can do to get out of this funk.

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Feb 9, 2018 09:56PM edwards750 wrote:

So sorry for the loss of your mom. My mom died almost 11 years ago. I miss her terribly too.

People grieve in different ways. There are no right or wrong answers. I have lost 2 brothers, both parents and 2 really good friends. They are always in my heart like your mother is yours but you have to give yourself permission to go on. I’m sure your mother would want you to.

Your friend is involved so maybe there is someone else you can confide in. Join support groups, volunteer -just keep yourself busy. You can meet new people. I joined a support group at church. A friend went to grief support classes when she lost her husband. She said they really helped.

Believe me I know you miss her so much. I was close to my Mom too. Moving on doesn’t mean you love her any less it’s just past time to get on with your life.

Good luck.


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Feb 10, 2018 08:07AM 70charger wrote:

I pm'd you.

Dx 7/11/2013, IDC, 2cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/8/2013 Lumpectomy: Right Surgery 8/8/2013 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Dx 8/21/2013, DCIS, 2cm, Grade 3 Chemotherapy 9/10/2013 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 12/8/2013 Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/12/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole), Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)

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