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All TopicsForum: For Caregivers, Family, Friends and Supporters → Topic: Husbands motivation

Topic: Husbands motivation

Forum: For Caregivers, Family, Friends and Supporters —

A place to share your struggles and concerns about supporting and caring for a person you love diagnosed with breast cancer with others who understand.

Posted on: May 3, 2018 05:03AM

DAIRDJ wrote:

I know whats going through your head.

If you are reading this you may need a little motivation. no matter how strong we try to be, our spouses BC is taxing on the both of us. if you're like me then that means you're at every appointment listening, taking notes, and being strong for your significant other. while everyone is asking about your spouse, they forget to check on you, ask you how you're doing. I know how you're doing and its not easy.

My wife suffers from stage 3 triple positive breast cancer. sometimes i feel i cant help her. when she gets emotional or depressed. when her hair was falling out. she is so strong and tries so hard to act like nothing is wrong for other people, but i see the truth. she is fighting hard but cancer fights back. I know every single one of you have experienced what i have. I want you to know you can . talk here in this forum. let it out. your fears, your emotions. let me hear whats going on in your life. let us share hope! if you don't know what to do, ask here. if you don't know what to say, ask here. if you don'

t know how to feel, ask here. let me and others going through the same thing share answers through experiences. let us be strong together for our wives.

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May 3, 2018 08:30AM Lula73 wrote:

thank you for starting this thread! Caregivers are often overlooked and the reality is they are struggling too, just in a different way. In so many ways it’s almost easier to be the patient. We are strong, we push through and do our best to keep the same routine and responsibilities we did/had prior to BC the best we can. The caregiver on the other hand often has a feeling of helplessness, they are depressed and angry that they can’t fix this, they are holding down a job, the kids/household as well as all the other things you mentioned all while watching the partner they live suffer as they fight. People fighting BC are warriors. Their caregivers are the heroes that save the day. So thank you for starting the thread and thank you to all the caregivers who are supporting their partners/loved ones!

-Lula Dx 1/2017, DCIS/IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 2/13/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Prophylactic ovary removal; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap Hormonal Therapy 3/2/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Surgery 11/1/2017 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 1/2/2018 Femara (letrozole)
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May 3, 2018 08:52AM Egads007 wrote:

My ever loving better half, who cried at my diagnosis, flew in 1800 miles every two weeks to be at every chemo infusion not to mention every procedure, shaved his head with me, picked up the shattered pieces, stayed with me while I gained weight and aged noticeably, and supported my son better than his own father, all while running a small business, was asked how HE was doing only once. I’m sad to say it wasn’t me who asked, it was his sister. I’ve been trying to make up for not asking him myself ever since. His answer is always the same “it’s not about me”. No matter how many times I insist that it was about him as well, he replies with the same. Fortunate doesn’t quite cover the day I found this precious man.

Bless all the precious and loving husbands/partners/mothers/fathers/sisters/brothersthat support us and suffer with us during the dark days. How you are doing should never be over looked. Your feelings are just as valid as ours

"I base all my fashion choices on what doesn't itch" (Gilda Radner) Chemotherapy 3/20/2013 Doxil (doxorubicin), Taxol (paclitaxel) Surgery 8/23/2013 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right Radiation Therapy 11/1/2013 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Dx IDC, 4cm, Stage IIB, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR- Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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May 4, 2018 09:33PM edwards750 wrote:

DairdJ - wow what a wonderful husband you are! You are right we do sometimes forget the caregivers who are there to prop us up through the process.

I was DX almost 7 years ago. My BC was not aggressive but I still went through the rigors of surgery and 33 rounds of radiation. The emotional toll is another story. My husband is laid back and not talkative so I didn’t really know just how unnerved he was by my DX. I’m the strong independent take charge person just like most of the women on this forum so it’s not a surprise he figured I would take care of this too. Thing is we aren’t bullet proof and we do have our limits.

I hope other husbands read your post. It’s encouraging and inspirational.

Diane

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