A place to share your struggles and concerns about supporting and caring for a person you love diagnosed with breast cancer with others who understand.
NoteRed
Athens, Greece
Joined:
Mar 2018
Posts:
84
Latest activity:
Jul 15, 2020
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Apr 8, 2019 03:28AM
NoteRed
wrote:
Hello jackpeter, sorry I find both of you at this situation. I also go to the doctors alone (without my husband). is a matter of every person's character I think. I also go to my scans alone. Try to be near every time as she wants you. I know its difficult for you too...when you see her more relaxed ask her about her visit, her diagnosis etc...
Dx
2/2/2018, ILC, Left, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 7/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (SPOT)
Surgery
2/22/2018 Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left
Chemotherapy
3/26/2018 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Chemotherapy
6/28/2018 CEF
Ingerp
Charlottesville, VA
Joined:
Apr 2016
Posts:
2,611
Latest activity:
Jul 26, 2021
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Apr 8, 2019 06:08AM
Ingerp
wrote:
Definitely follow her lead. It'd drive me nuts to have my husband at all of my appointments. He went to one appt with my breast surgeon (when I got the dx and learned about treatment options) and the first one with my medical oncologist, but other than that I'm much happier being by myself.
Dx
3/11/2016, DCIS, Left, 6cm+, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR-
Surgery
3/22/2016 Lumpectomy
Surgery
4/19/2016 Lumpectomy: Left
Radiation Therapy
5/17/2016 Whole-breast: Breast
Dx
3/2/2018, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (FISH)
Surgery
3/12/2018 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel
Chemotherapy
5/17/2018 Taxol (paclitaxel)
Targeted Therapy
5/17/2018 Herceptin (trastuzumab)
Radiation Therapy
8/19/2018 Whole-breast: Breast
Runrcrb
Joined:
Jul 2016
Posts:
574
Latest activity:
Oct 17, 2020
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Apr 8, 2019 06:54AM
Runrcrb
wrote:
as mentioned, follow her lead. My husband was in the hospital during the two months that i was managing consults and diagnosis. Doubt I would have wanted him at every appointment any way. While i took a friend to consults for note taking, i went to all tests, all chemo and radiation solo - would not have wanted it any other way.
Be there when she is ready to talk as she may want to talk through treatment options. And if you have questions ask her.
Dx
6/27/2016, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 4/10 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Dx
6/27/2016, ILC/IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 4/10 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Surgery
9/22/2016 Lymph node removal: Right; Mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement
Chemotherapy
10/31/2016 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel)
Radiation Therapy
2/9/2017 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall
Hormonal Therapy
4/23/2017 Aromasin (exemestane)
Surgery
12/13/2017 Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap
Salamandra
Brooklyn, NY
Joined:
Oct 2018
Posts:
1,180
Latest activity:
Jul 30, 2021
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Apr 8, 2019 03:37PM
Salamandra
wrote:
Maybe there are chores or tasks that she normally does but that you can pick up? Maybe reading here and finding your own support so that if she wants to talk with you about stuff you can really be there for her and not leaning on her to help you with your emotions about it? Maybe offering her even more space if she thinks it would be helpful, like a weekend away or a retreat at home while you take the kids away for the weekend?
It's really about following her lead and her needs. You know her much better than we do.
Dx at 39. 1.8cm. Oncotype 9.
Dx
9/19/2018, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH)
Surgery
10/18/2018 Lumpectomy; Lymph node removal: Sentinel
Hormonal Therapy
11/1/2018 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
Radiation Therapy
12/3/2018 Whole-breast: Breast
Hormonal Therapy
12/19/2019 Fareston (toremifene)