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Topic: PTSD after spouse’s treatment?

Forum: For Caregivers, Family, Friends and Supporters —

A place to share your struggles and concerns about supporting and caring for a person you love diagnosed with breast cancer with others who understand.

Posted on: Feb 3, 2020 07:04PM - edited Feb 3, 2020 07:51PM by Bakerstreet

Bakerstreet wrote:

Hi everyone,


Have been lurking and a bit writing on these boards since May. My spouse just finished her treatment and she is the light of my life. It was a bit hard for me: first because seeing her through treatments was hard secondly because I had to be away for one third of it due to our relocation. We were supposed to move across from the Atlantic and I had to go ahead and do it while she received treatment. She couldn't start in our new city due to paperwork/ insurance stuff. She is done now and recovering, gaining her strength to come join me in our new life. I find myself very very depressed, actually first time in years and first time since she was diagnosed. I think it is PTSD; I know the cancer survivors get it but didn't know the family members could have post-treatment depression.

Is this normal and will this go away? I am seeing a therapist but I almost feel like I need antidepressants.

Wishing you all health and happiness,


BS

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Feb 3, 2020 07:29PM MountainMia wrote:

It is normal, but if you feel like you need antidepressants, that would probably help you. Check with your therapist if they can prescribe for you, or a referral to someone who can. Please be patient, as it can be hard to find the right formula for help. I wish you all good while you try to find peace in your new life together.

The rain comes and the rain goes, but the mountain remains. I am the mountain.
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Feb 3, 2020 07:35PM bcincolorado wrote:

It is definitely normal to worry and have PTSD about worries or recurrence. I am sure your support has meant a lot to your spouse. I agree that if you are not feeling better soon you may want to start with your primary care doc who may prescribe for you but also may end up referring you to a therapist who has specialty of dealing with cancer caregivers. Best thoughts to you.

Dx 8/2009, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 1/7/2010 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left Hormonal Therapy 1/15/2010 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Hormonal Therapy 1/30/2016 Femara (letrozole)
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Feb 3, 2020 09:03PM Bakerstreet wrote:

Thank you MountainMia and bcincolorado! I guess we’ll find a new normal, surviving the treatment gave us some kind of strength and I feel like in a vacuum post-treatment. Fears wash over me time to time but hopefully this shall pass too

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Feb 7, 2020 08:27AM claireinaz wrote:

Caregivers experience PTSD too. At 36, I was caregiver to my brand new husband, who died from oral cancer soon after we married. I had triggers years later (one I remember: I left my keys in my car and left the car door open-provoking a dinging alarm so I wouldn't lock keys in the car. About 10 seconds later I "woke up" from a memory of my husband's portable chemo bag alarm going off, which told us when to change his ringer's lactate bag for a new one. It was weird-and happened over a decade after he had died.)

PTSD strengthened again after my own dx.

Claire in AZ

9/29/11 ILC, 2 c. stage II grade 1, ER/PR+ HER2-, 6/11 nodes, lumpectomy, DDAC x 4, Taxol x 12, 33 rads, Tamoxifen/arimidex/aromasin, BMX/immed recon 7/3/13 "In the midst of winter, I found in me an invincible summer.” Albert Camus
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Feb 7, 2020 08:36AM claireinaz wrote:

https://www.conciergecareadvisors.com/caregivers-suffering-from-ptsd/

This might help...

9/29/11 ILC, 2 c. stage II grade 1, ER/PR+ HER2-, 6/11 nodes, lumpectomy, DDAC x 4, Taxol x 12, 33 rads, Tamoxifen/arimidex/aromasin, BMX/immed recon 7/3/13 "In the midst of winter, I found in me an invincible summer.” Albert Camus
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Feb 7, 2020 04:43PM Bakerstreet wrote:

Claireinaz thank you very much! It really helps to know we are not alone. When your loved one goes through a hell of a fight, you think you should not look into your ptsd or prioritize yourself but it hit me. Treatment was an all-time Adrenalin and now it has sunk in. I am praying for all you ladies here along with my wife. Hope you never experience it again and live long healthy years

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