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Oct 12, 2021 10:01PM
I too would like to offer my support and encouragement and share my story.
In June 2019, my wife was diagnosed with Stage 2A breast cancer with lymph node involvement (Tumor Grade 3), and simultaneously diagnosed with thyroid cancer. She also has other medical problems, including Type II diabetes, high blood pressure, and anxiety.
Since her cancer diagnosis, she has undergone 2 surgeries, chemotherapy, and hormone therapy. We have 2 daughters aged 8 and 6.
You mention guilt about a breast cancer diagnosis. I share that. My wife and I started our family late, and she took progesterone to enhance her fertility. Apparently, that increases the risk of breast cancer.
I can honestly say the last 2 years or so have been the most difficult of my entire life. When she was diagnosed, I had to assume essentially 3 full time jobs: the role of full-time caregiver and dad while working full-time as a lawyer. We have some family support from my parents, but COVID complicated that. My wife's own mother died of the same cancer she has so you can imagine the anxiety that has caused her.
The one thing I regret was not realizing just how difficult this was going to be at the outset. There were times when I still worked a little too hard at work, thinking that I was helping by bringing in income. I pushed back at work, but not hard enough. There are times when your wife just wants you to be there for her.
When COVID-19 struck, my wife's 2nd surgery was delayed and the level of tension and anxiety in our house was off the chart.
Throughout, I have drawn on my strong Christian faith. But at times, I felt I was going to break down.
I echo the posts on this board that recognize the futility of worry.
We never know what tomorrow will bring. I live life with a little less fear and concern about all of the little things. I also recognize what a short time we are all here for--these may be some of the benefits of the diagnosis.
As I write this, we are waiting for test results as a nodule has been spotted in her left lung. I will be trying to live in the moment, but we know how hard that is.