Topic: Worrying about future - need to vent

Forum: Caring for Someone with Breast cancer — A place to share your struggles and concerns about supporting and caring for a person you love diagnosed with breast cancer with others who understand.

Posted on: Aug 27, 2021 11:11AM

Posted on: Aug 27, 2021 11:11AM

Hopefulldad wrote:

My wife, and mother of our two young kids (3 and 6), was diagnosed about a year ago and we went very quickly from small (1cm) Stage 1 disease to a more uncertain situation with LVI, a couple of microtumors in the margin, positive LNs. This all came in follow up phone call after an initially upbeat assessment right after surgery (LNs appeared negative...). She's gone through scans and there's always a little something to worry about but unclear enough to change plans. She's gone through AC+T, radiation, now hormone therapy. Battled everything and does her best to stay upbeat. She struggled in the first couple of months but has definitely found a way to cope. She is strong and has dieted and exercised so much that she is as fit as she has ever been.

I've had more trouble and if I'm not worrying about her latest strange scan result, I'm having my own health anxiety because I fear the possibility of leaving our kids without either of us. I have been feeling like the next shoe is always just about to drop.

Just in the last week, she discovered a small (<1cm) circular pinkish discoloration on her affected breast. Looks a bit like a bruise but so small and not in likely bruise area. I've spent a lot of time looking at the literature and it seems very possible. She hasn't been seen but a biopsy is ordered.

It's just so hard to imagine that this could be the turning point and I feel like she will be hit hard by this and I will need to stay strong. And I really question my ability to do this and lack a strong social network. I have just started therapy to deal with my anxiety but don't expect this to be a quick fix.

I've read comments here and found some good advice. I'll keep doing that and will make it a priority to be there for my wife. Part of my struggle is that she wants to keep everything a secret from as many people as possible until necessary, and that includes our kids. I just can't imagine how that would go but will do whatever is needed (therapy, groups) to help them adjust if things turn for the worse.

Thanks for reading. I just haven't had much opportunity to share my worries and wanted to see if this would help me get my head straight.

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Nov 2, 2021 03:29PM exbrnxgrl wrote:

Vidal,

That is a lesson that will serve you well throughout life. Worry cannot change the past nor influence the future but it can make today miserable.

Dx IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, Grade 1, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Nov 2, 2021 03:45PM Hopefulldad wrote:

Vidal,

Sorry about the delay, and thanks for your comments. I am glad you are taking this point of view. I am trying as well and have had some periods of calm. I will keep working on it. And I wish you the best!


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Nov 18, 2021 10:13AM vidal1993 wrote:

Thank you exbrnxgl! We are waiting for the results of the November 8 CT scan. We meet with the oncologist Monday the 22nd. My wife is pretty calm thankfully.

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Nov 18, 2021 10:22AM alicebastable wrote:

vidal1993, Why are you having to wait so long? The results should have been posted to your wife's portal as soon as the radiologist read them. BTW, I'm another one with lung nodules. They just sit there and don't bother me. My oncologist said a lot of people have them but don't know it until they start getting scanned for other things.

Ignore treatment info (below) which is a BCO glitch. Do not enter personal information on this site since they grossly mishandled a data breach. Surgery 7/10/2018 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal Surgery 8/7/2018 Radiation Therapy 10/28/2018 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes
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Nov 18, 2021 04:52PM minustwo wrote:

In October my PCP recommendec a low dose CT that showed lung nodules. When my pulmonologist did the review he said they were similar to what was there after treatment & no worries.

2/15/11 BMX-DCIS 2SNB clear-TEs; 9/15/11-410gummies; 3/20/13 recurrance-5.5cm,mets to lymphs, Stage IIIB IDC ER/PRneg,HER2+; TCH/Perjeta/Neulasta x6; ALND 9/24/13 1/18 nodes 4.5cm; AC chemo 10/30/13 x3; herceptin again; Rads Feb2014
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Dec 5, 2021 02:19PM vidal1993 wrote:

Thank you Minus Two and Alice Bastable for your comments and replies. Hopefuldad hope you are okay.

We got the results of the CT scan and it showed "post-radiation" changes in the right lung, as well as stable tiny pulmonary nodules "that are likely benign." Also a nodule in the left breast that is "stable compared to prior and likely correlates to nodule seen on the recent chest x-ray."

And then, "diffuse infiltration of the liver with an irregular enhancing lesion in the dome that is "non-specific."

So my wife will have another CT scan on her abdomen (liver) on December 21.

I don't know what to think.

My wife was diagnosed with fatty liver back in 2011.

Don't really know what is going on.

I guess we will find out.

My wife is also a Type 2 diabetic, and takes medication to reduce the risk of heart attack due to high blood pressure.

Any thoughts or comments are welcome.


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Dec 5, 2021 05:16PM minustwo wrote:

OH Vidal - hope this next scan comes out OK. FIngers crossed.

2/15/11 BMX-DCIS 2SNB clear-TEs; 9/15/11-410gummies; 3/20/13 recurrance-5.5cm,mets to lymphs, Stage IIIB IDC ER/PRneg,HER2+; TCH/Perjeta/Neulasta x6; ALND 9/24/13 1/18 nodes 4.5cm; AC chemo 10/30/13 x3; herceptin again; Rads Feb2014
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Dec 7, 2021 05:43AM vidal1993 wrote:

Thank you so much.

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Dec 7, 2021 12:37PM alicebastable wrote:

Vidal1993, Keep in mind that different radiologists use different wording and focus on different things when reading scans. I have a rather large hernia that some radiologists note on my scans and others ignore completely. I have a splenule (a non-functioning spleen mini-me) that my oncologist said I've probably had all my life, but was never mentioned until this year although I've had fairly frequent scans for over 3 years. My fatty liver has been described in various ways and sometimes not mentioned at all, plus a few other liver passengers. I have, apparently, two aneurysms, one I was told about when I got my kidney cancer diagnosis three years ago, and the other one has only been mentioned on scan reports this year - and so far my doctors haven't said a thing about it, so I assume it's just sitting there and not a problem like the first one that gets monitored.

The new scan that's been ordered for your wife might be to just take a closer, detailed look at the liver to have as a baseline for future scans. The other report would have been on the edge of the chest CT and possibly incomplete or slightly distorted.

Ignore treatment info (below) which is a BCO glitch. Do not enter personal information on this site since they grossly mishandled a data breach. Surgery 7/10/2018 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal Surgery 8/7/2018 Radiation Therapy 10/28/2018 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes

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