Topic: My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

Forum: Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer, Open to All To Contribute — Topics here are started by members with a Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer diagnosis, but open to all members to contribute to discussions. Please note that there is a separate forum, Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY, where topics are open only to those members.

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 08:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 12:42PM by micmel

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 08:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 12:42PM by micmel

micmel wrote:

As I go through this forced path I have been thrown down, I have come to realize the love I have always had for my husband was strong. He is amazing and I love him with my very soul and entire heart. Never would I ever imagine the thought of dying and him being alone. Then the worst part hit me!! I can't seem to shake the horrible sorrow of thinking of another woman taking my place in his life and his heart, and if I Am honest his bed. He is my best friend and the love of my life, I would never need another for any reason. He makes my life complete, and then this happens. How do I process that I most likely won't be the one growing old on the porch that we have talked about, how do I process, someone else sitting in that chair? I hate this trajectory path I've been spun onto, and everyday I feel grief and deep sorrow. How do I live everyday knowing in the back of my mind, I feel like a place holder, for another woman who will be stepping into my life when I die of this horrible disease, more sooner than later. Why would I even want to take any medicines or treatments, when the answer is pretty obviously in front of my face.? Why do we fight so hard for something we cannot control ? Why do we hurt so badly thinking about letting go, or giving up? It's a four letter word that holds so much power. That word is LOVE..... If you have ever felt this way. Share with me, because I understand, I feel this way everyday. I also don't know what to do with the sadness of loss or how to process the process of dying. However slow or fast it may be. Please share your love stories with me, how did you meet? How long together? I want to know your stories, everyone has their person. Everyone loves.....tell me about your family, your friends, your life too, as if this was your living room. ♥️

We are team FU cancer (Named by Parry, our sweet sister) and this is our Lol pub and living room. Welcome, put your feet up and just be you!

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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May 22, 2022 11:11PM micmel wrote:

Mae~Thinking of you. Hoping wherever you are you’re comfortable and resting.

The domino’s story made me smile. Like you were being punked and there woulD be a film crew waiting for your reaction.

Mara~no water? Man those asshats are unreal. Hope that didn’t last long.

Hello to Kikomoon and living Sfcakes, sunshine , Candy, Rosie. SeeQ, runor, dodgers, Chicagoan, 50’s girl, BooBoo, Tanya,

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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May 23, 2022 12:31AM seeq wrote:

Mae - I'm sorry you've had such an awful time of it. I'm hoping the latest meds combo has you in a better place.

I like the stories about scoring free food via botched deliveries. Woohoo! I've always gone out to get my own, and I try to be careful with what I'm ordering if I'm taking it home to eat; some food just doesn't travel more than a few minutes very well. Food delivery is just not an option where I live now.

Mara- what a disappointment about your Blizzard delivery - and at that price! At least it still tasted good. I think it must be a law in Texas that every small town is required to have a DQ (lol) - so that's one of the few restaurants we have in our little town.

I'm still not sure when my scan results will post to the portal. I'm trying to be patient about it, since I'm having to really push the nurse to submit a request for prior authorization. It's not the insurance that's the problem. It's the lab telling the nurse that they'll bill the insurance and file an appeal if it's denied...and oh, by the way, i can always apply for financial assistance. That's all very nice, but that's not how my insurance works. How about if we just do it the right way in the first place, then the insurance will pay and everyone will be happy, and the financial assistance will go to someone who needs it. Grrr. Sooo, I'm hoping the scan results will post soon, and I won't have to ask.

We spent most of the afternoon building our new patio set. We still have a few pieces left that we'll work on tomorrow. The kids are coming next weekend, so it will be nice to have enough outside seating for everyone.

Sign me up for pocket duty. Thanks for the list, Candy.

Hi Mel, Booboo, LivingIVLife, Kikomoon, SF-Cakes, dodgersgirl, Sunshine and everyone else. 👋👋

De novo diagnosis with large/numerous liver mets. Breast lump identified one month later. Hormonal Therapy 7/2/2020 Arimidex (anastrozole) Targeted Therapy 7/9/2020 Verzenio
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May 23, 2022 11:49AM mara51506 wrote:

No, the water thing did not last long, about an hour. I still was not very nice and my neighbour said it was shut off the day before, I missed that one. They keep saying there are leaks, I think they are full of crap as in the first couple years here and no water shut off except one. We will see.

I did have a nice breakfast today. Hashbrown, 1 fried egg, precooked pinto beans and half an english muffin with butter. I am glad I bought eggs again, can do many different dishes with those.

Weather is nice and I still have a lot of gift cards from when I used to order from the burger joint. I don't like the burger meals anymore but don't mind the beef patties so think I will order just the beef patties or also get the toppings and make new or stretch meals out with those. We will see. It is a lovely day here after the violent thunderstorm swept through here. Couple people were killed by falling trees, lots of fallen trees in London as well.



2015 chemos AC plus T Herceptin august 12 2016 craniotomy for brain met Sept 23 whole brain radiation November 2016 Herceptin, Perjeta and Taxol. Dec 2016, Dropped the Taxol due to extreme side effects, continuing Herceptin and Perjeta. Dx 3/15/2015, DCIS, Right, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 4/22/2015 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Right) Dx 5/15/2015, IBC, Right, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Dx 7/29/2016, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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May 23, 2022 02:51PM mara51506 wrote:

Lovely day so far, my DH and SIL came over, even before I was dressed. They asked if I wanted to go for a walk in a park. I put a wig on and changed clothes. Drove to a park and just walked around. I did have to sit for less than a minute a couple of times. I don't often go to the park. It was also weird walking without music going in my one ear but I felt that would be rude. We walked for about 35 minutes, just enough for my body to say, I want more.

On the way home took a wee drive after they got Starbucks for themselves since I put an order in at the burger joint. Ordered the junior patty and loaded with toppings like tomato, lettuce, olives, onions, ranch dressing but no bun. Plan is to combine these ingredients to other meals I may eat. Also lets me use up my last 10.00 I still have in old gift cards. I don't like a burger meal anymore but don't mind the odd burger that way. Was only 2.69 as well which will stretch out over several meals.

2015 chemos AC plus T Herceptin august 12 2016 craniotomy for brain met Sept 23 whole brain radiation November 2016 Herceptin, Perjeta and Taxol. Dec 2016, Dropped the Taxol due to extreme side effects, continuing Herceptin and Perjeta. Dx 3/15/2015, DCIS, Right, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 4/22/2015 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Right) Dx 5/15/2015, IBC, Right, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Dx 7/29/2016, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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May 24, 2022 08:24AM micmel wrote:

reporting for pocket duty! Hope everyone has a good day. I’m packed full of sweets. Carrot cake muffins ! Hugs to al

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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May 24, 2022 08:29AM micmel wrote:

been working on my painting. I’m almost. Done my first one. Here’s my progress. I’m enjoying this a lot.

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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May 24, 2022 09:06AM candy-678 wrote:

Mel- Nice picture!!!

Mara- Glad you enjoyed your walk in the park. You said you drove there, so you cannot get there more often to have a walk? Seems you really enjoyed it and I wish you could do it more often.

SeeQ- Pocket duty for your results.

Well yesterday (Monday) was a long scan day (and MO appt, Lupron injection, Port Flush, and Labs). I left my house at 8:30am and got home at 6:15pm. And with going by myself I could not wind down or nap on the way home. I slept well last night!!!

Scans show SHRINKAGE !!!! I cannot tell you what the measurements were, as they will not go to the Portal for 1 week (default at my cancer clinic for releasing of results), but my MO read off the measurements of all the lesions and the latest measurements were less than before. Maybe by a mm or 2, but still a decrease versus an increase. So 9 months into Lynparza I have had 2 stable scans and now a decrease scan.

I was thinking on the way home--- I know some ladies on here have commented they really do not get too anxious before scans anymore (so many under their belt). But, think about it, we have Stage 4 cancer. We are going to the clinic to get CT's, or MRI's, or whatever, to monitor the cancer. Wouldn't most people get nervous? This is serious stuff. I know women are notorious for being strong and taking things in stride, but this is serious. Most people would be a little nervous about monitoring their cancer for progression. We should call it like it is--- serious shit.

And I thank God that I am seeing stable/shrinkage, but it sure does not come without a cost. Fatigue. Nausea/decreased appetite. Low white counts, so I have to be careful-- not just of Covid, but of any infection. Yes, this is better than the alternative. But it sure is not easy. To get shrinkage/stable takes work.

Thanks for the pocket duty. You all understand more than anyone else.

Dx 6/2017, ILC/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/2017, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy 11/1/2017 Ibrance (palbociclib) Targeted Therapy 11/1/2017 Ibrance (palbociclib) Targeted Therapy 11/1/2017 Ibrance (palbociclib) Targeted Therapy 11/1/2017 Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy 11/1/2017 Femara (letrozole) Dx 4/2021, ER-/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy 9/1/2021 Targeted Therapy 9/1/2021 Targeted Therapy 9/1/2021 Targeted Therapy 9/1/2021 translation missing: en.treatments.targeted_therapy.targeted_therapy_medicine.short_options.lynparza Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole), Zoladex (goserelin) Chemotherapy AC Surgery Lymph node removal; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left)
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May 24, 2022 09:27AM - edited May 24, 2022 09:28AM by micmel

Shrinkage!!!!!!!!!!' 💐🌺🌻. Candy that is a sweet word. Congrats!……

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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May 24, 2022 01:00PM kbl wrote:

So happy you have shrinkage, Candy. I totally get the roller coaster. I hope you can have some good days without fatigue and nausea

De Novo ILC - No primary found. Mets to full spine, femurs, skull, and stomach. Dx 5/1/2019, ILC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/other, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 6/24/2019 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 6/24/2019 Ibrance (palbociclib) Chemotherapy 9/27/2021 Other
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May 24, 2022 01:14PM goldensrbest wrote:

What great news Candy! Time for a treat!

Mel - who knew you were an artist! What a lovely painting. Can’t wait to see more…..

Dx 6/1990, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, 1/20 nodes, ER+/PR+ Dx 7/1999, IDC, Right, <1cm Dx 7/26/2019, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/lungs, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 8/31/2019 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 9/25/2019 Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy 1/30/2020 Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Chemotherapy CMF Surgery Mastectomy Surgery Lumpectomy; Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes

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