Topic: My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

Forum: Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer, Open to All To Contribute — Topics here are started by members with a Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer diagnosis, but open to all members to contribute to discussions. Please note that there is a separate forum, Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY, where topics are open only to those members.

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 08:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 12:42PM by micmel

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 08:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 12:42PM by micmel

micmel wrote:

As I go through this forced path I have been thrown down, I have come to realize the love I have always had for my husband was strong. He is amazing and I love him with my very soul and entire heart. Never would I ever imagine the thought of dying and him being alone. Then the worst part hit me!! I can't seem to shake the horrible sorrow of thinking of another woman taking my place in his life and his heart, and if I Am honest his bed. He is my best friend and the love of my life, I would never need another for any reason. He makes my life complete, and then this happens. How do I process that I most likely won't be the one growing old on the porch that we have talked about, how do I process, someone else sitting in that chair? I hate this trajectory path I've been spun onto, and everyday I feel grief and deep sorrow. How do I live everyday knowing in the back of my mind, I feel like a place holder, for another woman who will be stepping into my life when I die of this horrible disease, more sooner than later. Why would I even want to take any medicines or treatments, when the answer is pretty obviously in front of my face.? Why do we fight so hard for something we cannot control ? Why do we hurt so badly thinking about letting go, or giving up? It's a four letter word that holds so much power. That word is LOVE..... If you have ever felt this way. Share with me, because I understand, I feel this way everyday. I also don't know what to do with the sadness of loss or how to process the process of dying. However slow or fast it may be. Please share your love stories with me, how did you meet? How long together? I want to know your stories, everyone has their person. Everyone loves.....tell me about your family, your friends, your life too, as if this was your living room. ♥️

We are team FU cancer (Named by Parry, our sweet sister) and this is our Lol pub and living room. Welcome, put your feet up and just be you!

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
Log in to post a reply

Page 2736 of 2,811 (28,103 results)

Log in to post a reply

Jun 22, 2022 12:34PM - edited Jun 22, 2022 01:52PM by mara51506

Sunshine, was fine walking the short distance to the bus. Did not get too hot at all. Taking bus home too unless the wait is long.

Only bad thing was when my chest port was being accessed, there was no blood return but he moved it around in there. I yelled out and thumped my legs. My port leans over to one side with a mole nearby so not easy for them to get all the time. Poor nurse felt awful but we got the second one in. I got to watch the ObiWanKenobi show so that was great.

I was tempted to walk home and was just going to do that but as luck would have it, I approached the bus stop and the bus was coming so did not take any chances with the heat. It will be nice tomorrow so I can do stuff then.

2015 chemos AC plus T Herceptin august 12 2016 craniotomy for brain met Sept 23 whole brain radiation November 2016 Herceptin, Perjeta and Taxol. Dec 2016, Dropped the Taxol due to extreme side effects, continuing Herceptin and Perjeta. Dx 3/15/2015, DCIS, Right, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 4/22/2015 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Right) Dx 5/15/2015, IBC, Right, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Dx 7/29/2016, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+
Log in to post a reply

Jun 22, 2022 02:24PM elderberry wrote:

runor: WOW WOW WOW. I wouldn't mind having a huge wood burning furnace. But I am so stupidly sentimental about practically everything. I would leave my survivors the task of chucking and consigning to the flames. It must have been very cathartic. I have managed to purge useless stuff but photos and such. That is so much harder. Yes, the memories in in my head and when I am gone a hand made card from a friend will mean squat to anyone else. Good for you!!


De Novo - this isn't a "brave battle" - it is a "furious struggle" Dx 3/6/2019, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to liver, HER2+ Targeted Therapy Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy Taxol (paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy Perjeta (pertuzumab)
Log in to post a reply

Jun 22, 2022 09:30PM micmel wrote:

Hello ladies~ climbing into bed, we're supposed to get some heavy rain tonight Love to sleep to the noise. I hope everyone had a decent day I've Thinking about you all. Moth. You're on my mind. BooBoo you too sweet one. You're all very special to me. Candy. Mara. Mae. ( puppies ?) sunshine….dodgers….emac…..SeeQ….Chicagoan…..Tanya…..Rosie…. Goldens, elderberry, Sondra !! one day at a time ladies that's all we can do. I'm up for Pocket duty bright and early if needed. I love our living room too. Just wish the new format:decorators listened. This format blows. !!!

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
Log in to post a reply

Jun 22, 2022 09:55PM dodgersgirl wrote:

Micmel—- hope you sleep well toni

Dx 3/10/2017, IDC: Mucinous, Right, Stage IIIB, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 9/11/2017 Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Right) Dx 12/2019, IDC, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to bone Radiation Therapy Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Chemotherapy AC + T (Taxol) Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
Log in to post a reply

Jun 22, 2022 10:25PM illimae wrote:

Micmel, the pups are good, napping after some big playtime. They look kinda big here but their little feet are only as big as my thumb.


Diagnosed at 41 Stage IV De Novo Dx 11/16/2016, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ Chemotherapy 1/2/2017 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 1/2/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 1/2/2017 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Surgery 6/26/2017 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy 8/10/2017 Breast, Lymph nodes Dx 10/5/2017, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+, HER2+ Radiation Therapy 10/20/2017 External Local Metastases 10/20/2017 Brain Radiation Therapy 4/18/2018 External Local Metastases 4/18/2018 Brain Radiation Therapy 5/23/2019 External Local Metastases 5/23/2019 Brain Surgery 1/22/2020 Radiation Therapy 2/17/2020 External Local Metastases 2/17/2020 Brain Radiation Therapy 7/20/2020 External Local Metastases 7/20/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Radiation Therapy 12/4/2020 External Local Metastases 12/4/2020 Brain Targeted Therapy Tukysa (tucatinib) Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
Log in to post a reply

Jun 22, 2022 10:34PM sadiesservant wrote:

They are so sweet Mae. Nothing better than puppies who have crashed after a good play. It means mom gets to relax!

Dx 4/2001, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 1/10 nodes, ER+ Surgery 5/11/2001 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Right); Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Right): Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary Chemotherapy 6/7/2001 CEF Radiation Therapy 12/17/2001 Whole breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/20/2001 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Hormonal Therapy 1/2/2007 Femara (letrozole) Hormonal Therapy 10/22/2007 Arimidex (anastrozole) Dx 1/3/2017, IDC, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/lungs, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 1/27/2017 Taxol (paclitaxel) Hormonal Therapy 3/29/2017 Arimidex (anastrozole) Targeted Therapy 4/20/2017 Ibrance (palbociclib) Dx 10/12/2017, IDC, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to other Chemotherapy 10/21/2017 Xeloda (capecitabine) Radiation Therapy 11/15/2017 External Local Metastases 11/15/2017 Radiation therapy: Bone Hormonal Therapy 1/19/2018 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Radiation Therapy 8/2/2018 External Local Metastases 8/2/2018 Radiation therapy: Bone Radiation Therapy 11/5/2018 External Local Metastases 11/5/2018 Radiation therapy: Bone Targeted Therapy 10/10/2019 Verzenio Radiation Therapy 11/3/2020 External Local Metastases 11/3/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Dx 1/22/2021, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IV, metastasized to liver, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/4/2021 Xeloda (capecitabine) Chemotherapy 10/8/2021 Other Chemotherapy 1/7/2022 Other
Log in to post a reply

Jun 22, 2022 11:45PM seeq wrote:

Mae - Aww. Sweet sleeping puppies. They are so cute.

Mel - it seems to me that you sound like you're in a better place. I hear more brightness showing through in your posts. :)

I finally got on my elliptical today for the first time in... forever (okay, maybe just since we moved here). I could only make myself do about 5 minutes before stopping, but I did that 4 times, so it's a start. While it wasn't exactly fun, it feels good to have started. It's too dang hot for walking outside, unless I want to have a heat stroke.


De novo diagnosis with large/numerous liver mets. Breast lump identified one month later. Hormonal Therapy 7/3/2020 Arimidex (anastrozole) Targeted Therapy 7/10/2020 Verzenio
Log in to post a reply

Jun 23, 2022 01:15AM mara51506 wrote:

Seeq, that's great about the elliptical. I remember trying it out when I belonged to the gym. Got two good minutes out of it.

2015 chemos AC plus T Herceptin august 12 2016 craniotomy for brain met Sept 23 whole brain radiation November 2016 Herceptin, Perjeta and Taxol. Dec 2016, Dropped the Taxol due to extreme side effects, continuing Herceptin and Perjeta. Dx 3/15/2015, DCIS, Right, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 4/22/2015 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Right) Dx 5/15/2015, IBC, Right, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Dx 7/29/2016, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+
Log in to post a reply

Jun 23, 2022 04:08AM denny10 wrote:

seeq, eliptical trainer, that's arms and legs isn't it? I am feeling fatigued just thinking about it, a brilliant start.

Mara glad to hear you were safe in the sun and heat.

I am definitely having chocolate after chemo this morning. My beloved onc team write it in their diary to remind me to get some from the treats trolley.

I am pleased, it feels a little more relaxed in the living room today. Have your best day.xx
12/2021 Stage IV TN Dx 2007, Left, Stage IIB, HER2- Dx 12/2013, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to liver/lungs/other, ER+ Hormonal Therapy Faslodex (fulvestrant), Femara (letrozole), Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
Log in to post a reply

Jun 23, 2022 08:15AM micmel wrote:

they are precious!!!!!I want to snuggle them. Thanks for the pic Mae.

Enjoy the chocolate Dennny. Yum

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)

Page 2736 of 2,811 (28,103 results)

Scroll to top button