Topic: My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

Forum: Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer, Open to All To Contribute — Topics here are started by members with a Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer diagnosis, but open to all members to contribute to discussions. Please note that there is a separate forum, Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY, where topics are open only to those members.

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 07:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 11:42AM by micmel

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 07:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 11:42AM by micmel

micmel wrote:

As I go through this forced path I have been thrown down, I have come to realize the love I have always had for my husband was strong. He is amazing and I love him with my very soul and entire heart. Never would I ever imagine the thought of dying and him being alone. Then the worst part hit me!! I can't seem to shake the horrible sorrow of thinking of another woman taking my place in his life and his heart, and if I Am honest his bed. He is my best friend and the love of my life, I would never need another for any reason. He makes my life complete, and then this happens. How do I process that I most likely won't be the one growing old on the porch that we have talked about, how do I process, someone else sitting in that chair? I hate this trajectory path I've been spun onto, and everyday I feel grief and deep sorrow. How do I live everyday knowing in the back of my mind, I feel like a place holder, for another woman who will be stepping into my life when I die of this horrible disease, more sooner than later. Why would I even want to take any medicines or treatments, when the answer is pretty obviously in front of my face.? Why do we fight so hard for something we cannot control ? Why do we hurt so badly thinking about letting go, or giving up? It's a four letter word that holds so much power. That word is LOVE..... If you have ever felt this way. Share with me, because I understand, I feel this way everyday. I also don't know what to do with the sadness of loss or how to process the process of dying. However slow or fast it may be. Please share your love stories with me, how did you meet? How long together? I want to know your stories, everyone has their person. Everyone loves.....tell me about your family, your friends, your life too, as if this was your living room. ♥️

We are team FU cancer (Named by Parry, our sweet sister) and this is our Lol pub and living room. Welcome, put your feet up and just be you!

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Jun 23, 2022 07:56AM goldensrbest wrote:

Mae - such sweet pups ❤️🐾🐾❤️

Sf-cakes - what an idiot to shoot off fireworks. Would love to join the swearing party - very cathartic. I know some Polish swear words to add to the mix!

Hi to all

Dx 6/1990, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, 1/20 nodes, ER+/PR+ Dx 7/1999, IDC, Right, <1cm Dx 7/26/2019, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/lungs, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 8/31/2019 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 9/25/2019 Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy 1/30/2020 Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Chemotherapy CMF Surgery Mastectomy Surgery Lumpectomy; Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes
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Jun 23, 2022 08:54AM mara51506 wrote:

I'll add my french and spanish swear words along with the few Finnish words I know. People are really dumb for sure.

2015 chemos AC plus T Herceptin august 12 2016 craniotomy for brain met Sept 23 whole brain radiation November 2016 Herceptin, Perjeta and Taxol. Dec 2016, Dropped the Taxol due to extreme side effects, continuing Herceptin and Perjeta. Dx 3/15/2015, DCIS, Right, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 4/22/2015 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Right) Dx 5/15/2015, IBC, Right, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Dx 7/29/2016, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Jun 23, 2022 09:55AM candy-678 wrote:

Hello all. Reading along here.

So, you all know how much I worry about germs/Covid and that I stay at home a lot-- too much I am sure. But I have not gotten Covid,,yet,, and even stay free of colds/etc. Today I was talking to a church lady friend and she is now going on a new med for her kidney issues. The med is an immunosuppressive. Her doc told her of needing monthly blood tests and warned her to stay away from sick people. She has not gotten her Covid booster yet, and does not plan to. Her doc advised her to get the booster, but she refuses. She is always on the go-- concerts, restaurants, church functions, etc. She said she intends to continuing living her life as always. She told me she MAY start wearing a mask to some activities, but not sure.

I know we each have to make our own decisions, and live with our choices. But it makes me seem even more extreme. She continues at church, while immunocompromised, while I stay at home. "Why is Candy not here? Look at ____, she is on meds and she comes".

I do hope my church friend stays healthy and can continue living her life. I guess it just makes me question my actions/lack of activity. P.S. I do get out SOME. I go to the Library for books, I went to the Dollar store for a few items the other day (I do main grocery shopping online with curbside pickup though). I DO NOT go to church services though, or eat in restaurants, or go to concerts.


Dx 6/2017, ILC/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/2017, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy 11/1/2017 Ibrance (palbociclib) Targeted Therapy 11/1/2017 Ibrance (palbociclib) Targeted Therapy 11/1/2017 Ibrance (palbociclib) Targeted Therapy 11/1/2017 Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy 11/1/2017 Femara (letrozole) Dx 4/2021, ER-/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy 9/1/2021 Targeted Therapy 9/1/2021 Targeted Therapy 9/1/2021 Targeted Therapy 9/1/2021 translation missing: en.treatments.targeted_therapy.targeted_therapy_medicine.short_options.lynparza Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole), Zoladex (goserelin) Chemotherapy AC Surgery Lymph node removal; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left)
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Jun 23, 2022 10:14AM - edited Jun 23, 2022 10:28AM by mara51506

This Post was deleted by mara51506.
2015 chemos AC plus T Herceptin august 12 2016 craniotomy for brain met Sept 23 whole brain radiation November 2016 Herceptin, Perjeta and Taxol. Dec 2016, Dropped the Taxol due to extreme side effects, continuing Herceptin and Perjeta. Dx 3/15/2015, DCIS, Right, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 4/22/2015 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Right) Dx 5/15/2015, IBC, Right, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Dx 7/29/2016, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Jun 23, 2022 10:36AM - edited Jun 23, 2022 10:42AM by mara51506

Candy, you have to do what it is your comfort level. Other than long term care homes and my hospital, masking is no longer mandatory but I still mask up in indoor public spaces. Only time I am not masked is when eating at the hospital during Herceptin.

I do fully believe that you can and SHOULD get out, keep masked when inside. I understand that you are immuno compromised and that is a consideration but you also need to live your life. Yes, the other lady is not vaxxed and may not wear a mask, you stay far away. Getting out will do wonders for you. Staying in may make you feel safer but I think getting out would be better. Sanitize your hands, use an N95 mask as well. Not short on stock for those. It is doable. One step at a time.

Again, just trying to offer a helpful opinion and it is my own, end of the day, it's all up to you and what your comfort level allows.

Edited to add that I am a hermit a lot of the time, most exercise is indoors and do not have any real life friends I hang out with. I really have to boot my butt out the door, even just to take the bus to the mall to fit in some mall walking plus walking to and from bus stops besides the treadmill at home. I am not fearful of covid but definitely takes some major convincing to get me out the door, just to admire dogs being walked etc. That is the bulk of my social life besides the hospital.

2015 chemos AC plus T Herceptin august 12 2016 craniotomy for brain met Sept 23 whole brain radiation November 2016 Herceptin, Perjeta and Taxol. Dec 2016, Dropped the Taxol due to extreme side effects, continuing Herceptin and Perjeta. Dx 3/15/2015, DCIS, Right, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 4/22/2015 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Right) Dx 5/15/2015, IBC, Right, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Dx 7/29/2016, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Jun 23, 2022 10:45AM livingivlife wrote:

Mae- the pups are adorable 😍 !!

Candy- people do whatever they want disregarding the health issues of others. Keep safe by slowly getting out there again.

SF CAKES- stupid people with fireworks! As I said people do whatever they want with no regard for the damage or consequences of their actions!

Saying hello to everyone 😊


Deb
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Jun 23, 2022 11:00AM sadiesservant wrote:

Hi All,

Happy to report that my CT scan was stable. Thank goodness! After back to back fails I was a tad nervous about this one. While I would have liked to see regression, I’ll take stable and the bonus is my right kidney seems to be draining better (likely blockage from liver mets). Phew!

Anyone heard from Moth?

Dx 4/2001, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 1/10 nodes, ER+ Surgery 5/11/2001 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Right); Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Right): Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary Chemotherapy 6/7/2001 CEF Radiation Therapy 12/17/2001 Whole breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/20/2001 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Hormonal Therapy 1/2/2007 Femara (letrozole) Hormonal Therapy 10/22/2007 Arimidex (anastrozole) Dx 1/3/2017, IDC, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/lungs, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 1/27/2017 Taxol (paclitaxel) Hormonal Therapy 3/29/2017 Arimidex (anastrozole) Targeted Therapy 4/20/2017 Ibrance (palbociclib) Dx 10/12/2017, IDC, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to other Chemotherapy 10/21/2017 Xeloda (capecitabine) Radiation Therapy 11/15/2017 External Local Metastases 11/15/2017 Radiation therapy: Bone Hormonal Therapy 1/19/2018 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Radiation Therapy 8/2/2018 External Local Metastases 8/2/2018 Radiation therapy: Bone Radiation Therapy 11/5/2018 External Local Metastases 11/5/2018 Radiation therapy: Bone Targeted Therapy 10/10/2019 Verzenio Radiation Therapy 11/3/2020 External Local Metastases 11/3/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Dx 1/22/2021, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IV, metastasized to liver, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/4/2021 Xeloda (capecitabine) Chemotherapy 10/8/2021 Other Chemotherapy 1/7/2022 Other
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Jun 23, 2022 11:03AM mara51506 wrote:

Glad the CT scan was stable, wonderful news.



2015 chemos AC plus T Herceptin august 12 2016 craniotomy for brain met Sept 23 whole brain radiation November 2016 Herceptin, Perjeta and Taxol. Dec 2016, Dropped the Taxol due to extreme side effects, continuing Herceptin and Perjeta. Dx 3/15/2015, DCIS, Right, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 4/22/2015 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Right) Dx 5/15/2015, IBC, Right, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Dx 7/29/2016, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Jun 23, 2022 12:42PM illimae wrote:

Yay for stable 🎉

Diagnosed at 41 Stage IV De Novo Dx 11/16/2016, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ Chemotherapy 1/1/2017 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Surgery 6/26/2017 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy 8/10/2017 Breast, Lymph nodes Dx 10/5/2017, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+, HER2+ Radiation Therapy 10/19/2017 External Local Metastases 10/19/2017 Brain Radiation Therapy 4/18/2018 External Local Metastases 4/18/2018 Brain Radiation Therapy 5/22/2019 External Local Metastases 5/22/2019 Brain Surgery 1/21/2020 Radiation Therapy 2/16/2020 External Local Metastases 2/16/2020 Brain Radiation Therapy 7/20/2020 External Local Metastases 7/20/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Radiation Therapy 12/4/2020 External Local Metastases 12/4/2020 Brain Targeted Therapy Tukysa (tucatinib) Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Jun 23, 2022 01:29PM elderberry wrote:

sadie: Yay for stable!!! Happy news.

SF-cakes: Did you see the SNL sketch with "I am stupid and I vote"? Those neighbours VOTE!! What the Hell were they thinking. Problem was they were not thinking. Stupid people don't think.

candy: Go out for walk. If there is no one around, carry your mask in your hand and breathe in air. I still mask up indoors and I am yet to go to a concert or a crowded pub.

No word from moth. Worried.

De Novo - this isn't a "brave battle" - it is a "furious struggle" Dx 3/6/2019, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to liver, HER2+ Targeted Therapy Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy Taxol (paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy Perjeta (pertuzumab)

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