Topic: My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

Forum: Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer, Open to All To Contribute — Topics here are started by members with a Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer diagnosis, but open to all members to contribute to discussions. Please note that there is a separate forum, Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY, where topics are open only to those members.

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 07:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 11:42AM by micmel

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 07:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 11:42AM by micmel

micmel wrote:

As I go through this forced path I have been thrown down, I have come to realize the love I have always had for my husband was strong. He is amazing and I love him with my very soul and entire heart. Never would I ever imagine the thought of dying and him being alone. Then the worst part hit me!! I can't seem to shake the horrible sorrow of thinking of another woman taking my place in his life and his heart, and if I Am honest his bed. He is my best friend and the love of my life, I would never need another for any reason. He makes my life complete, and then this happens. How do I process that I most likely won't be the one growing old on the porch that we have talked about, how do I process, someone else sitting in that chair? I hate this trajectory path I've been spun onto, and everyday I feel grief and deep sorrow. How do I live everyday knowing in the back of my mind, I feel like a place holder, for another woman who will be stepping into my life when I die of this horrible disease, more sooner than later. Why would I even want to take any medicines or treatments, when the answer is pretty obviously in front of my face.? Why do we fight so hard for something we cannot control ? Why do we hurt so badly thinking about letting go, or giving up? It's a four letter word that holds so much power. That word is LOVE..... If you have ever felt this way. Share with me, because I understand, I feel this way everyday. I also don't know what to do with the sadness of loss or how to process the process of dying. However slow or fast it may be. Please share your love stories with me, how did you meet? How long together? I want to know your stories, everyone has their person. Everyone loves.....tell me about your family, your friends, your life too, as if this was your living room. ♥️

We are team FU cancer (Named by Parry, our sweet sister) and this is our Lol pub and living room. Welcome, put your feet up and just be you!

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Jun 23, 2022 07:35PM tanya_djamila wrote:

Sadie and Enac great news!

Tany

Tanya Dx 8/19/2003, LCIS, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/other, 28/28 nodes, ER+, HER2- Dx 4/19/2017, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/other, 0/0 nodes, ER+, HER2- Immunotherapy 6/1/2017
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Jun 23, 2022 07:59PM mara51506 wrote:

Wow, impressed with myself and my budgeting powers. I bought a few things at the grocery store, more beefless ground, got pizza sauce, figure that could be used with a pasta dish, spinach and actual sloppy joe sauce in a can, different types of beans as well. Was just over 20.00. Went over to the dollar store and got some plastic containers with lids so they are air tight, 4 of them and some mini chocolate, spent 13.00 which was a steal. I still have tons of beans to make multiple meals, working on using up eggs I have before buying more, using more beefless ground and pasta in caesar type sauce, just lots of yummy and inexpensive items. Most healthy, got a couple mini chocolates at the dollar store too. It was nice to see my older DB and SIL.

My new wellness check person is a super friendly lady who deals with a brain injury. She has a case worker to help her with things but lives in an assisted living apartment of her own, she is active daily and is even doing a walk to raise money for a brain injury place. I have actually been trying to force myself to do more as she has more to work through just to get stuff done. I really enjoy our short little chats and she is really nice. Glad they added me to her list of wellness check calls. She inspires me to do more than I think I can and I definitely need the motivation sometimes and am glad that she is around. I may have cancer but no real impairments except balance.

2015 chemos AC plus T Herceptin august 12 2016 craniotomy for brain met Sept 23 whole brain radiation November 2016 Herceptin, Perjeta and Taxol. Dec 2016, Dropped the Taxol due to extreme side effects, continuing Herceptin and Perjeta. Dx 3/15/2015, DCIS, Right, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 4/21/2015 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Right) Dx 5/15/2015, IBC, Right, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Dx 7/29/2016, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Jun 23, 2022 08:24PM micmel wrote:

great news emac. Yay!! I have my met at s2. Quite annoying to say the least.

Moth~any improvement is to be celebrated! Hugs to you sister.

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Jun 23, 2022 08:25PM micmel wrote:

Mara ~ my balance sucks also. I’m way sensitive to falling. Scares me sometimes when I’m alone Or in the shower.

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Jun 23, 2022 10:51PM seeq wrote:

denny - yes, the elliptical is primarily legs and arms. I really need to build some leg strength and maybe help my balance, which I think is related. I hope they had great chocolate for you.

sadiesservant and emac- yay for stable!!

Thanks for the update on moth. I know she said she tires to easily to update everywhere.

Today, we picked up the corn hole sets we ordered from a guy a few towns over. He makes the boards with whatever decoration you want; his wife makes the bags. Then, dh bought a (used) waverunner for the (grown) kids to use when they're here.

De novo diagnosis with large/numerous liver mets. Breast lump identified one month later. Hormonal Therapy 7/3/2020 Arimidex (anastrozole) Targeted Therapy 7/10/2020 Verzenio
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Jun 24, 2022 01:09AM sondraf wrote:

Emac - I get spine MRIs as MO can see what is going on in there (cancer vs non cancer) much better than just the CT. Welcome to the stenosis at L5 club! :P Im being sarcastic, obviously, because whats a messy lower back on top of spine mets. Ugh. But at least now you know and stable is stable!

"The closer we come to the negative, to death, the more we blossom" - Montgomery Clift Dx 9/27/2019, IDC, Right, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 11/29/2019 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 11/29/2019 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery 11/28/2021 Lymph node removal (Right): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy (Right) Targeted Therapy 3/1/2022 Lynparza (olaparib)
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Jun 24, 2022 03:46PM 50sgirl wrote:

Sadie and emac. I am happy for your good news.

Mel, Your painting are beautiful. It sounds like your children have grown into caring responsible adults. Congratulations on a job well done. I know it’s not easy.

Mae, I love you beach-bar-in-progress. You and your dh are very ambitious. I am exhausted just hearing about all you are accomplishing. Your puppies are SO CUTE! My 61 pound golden retriever thinks she is a little pup, too, and makes herself into a lap dog.

Mara, I love reading about all your recipes and adventures in the world. Do not overdo it in the heat. It is easy to be overcome quickly.

Moth, I hope your liver continues to improve and you begin to feel better.

Candy, You do venture out more than I thought you did. I know it must be lonely to be away from your friends and the job you enjoyed. The side effects of your treatment can make it even more difficult to cope with situations. We are all here for you. Don’t ever feel that you have nothing to share here. If you talk about a book you are reading or a tv show you have seen or birds in the yard or your treatments, we will find it interesting. I don’t go out much either, btw.

My TMs had been going down since I started on Ixempra in January. This cycle they jumped 130 points BOO! All my other blood test results looked good, so I am hoping the TM jump is of no significance. I return for blood tests,MO visit, and chemo on July 5. On a good note, I had cataract surgery on one eye on Wednesday. I had post op visit on Thursday. My distance vision improved from 20/60 to 20/25, and there could still be improvement as healing continues. I know it’s not cancer-related, but WOOHOO! I can watch tv without having everything look blurry, and I can read the text displayed on the screen. Best of all, I can drive again. What a difference!

Enjoy the weekend.

Hugs and prayers from, Lynne


Dx 6/5/2015, ILC/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 6/10/2015 Arimidex (anastrozole) Dx 8/9/2016, ILC/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver/other, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 8/10/2016 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Targeted Therapy 8/31/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy 7/3/2018 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Chemotherapy 10/2/2018 Xeloda (capecitabine) Chemotherapy 2/11/2019 Taxol (paclitaxel) Hormonal Therapy 11/12/2019 Aromasin (exemestane) Targeted Therapy 11/13/2019 Afinitor (everolimus) Hormonal Therapy 12/27/2019 Femara (letrozole) Chemotherapy 3/8/2020 Adriamycin (doxorubicin) Targeted Therapy 2/6/2021 Verzenio Chemotherapy 4/13/2021 Halaven (eribulin) Chemotherapy 9/30/2021 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Methotrexate (Amethopterin, Mexate, Folex) Chemotherapy 2/11/2022 translation missing: en.treatments.chemotherapy.chemotherapy_regimen.options.short_drugs.epithilone.ixempra
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Jun 24, 2022 05:59PM dodgersgirl wrote:

my MO took me off Verzenio after some progression to liver and nodes. Bone mets stable.

Next week I will start Capecitabine (Xeloda). Fingers crossed this chemo kicks some cancer butt.

Dx 3/10/2017, IDC: Mucinous, Right, Stage IIIB, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 9/10/2017 Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Right) Dx 12/2019, IDC, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to bone Radiation Therapy Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Chemotherapy AC + T (Taxol) Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Jun 24, 2022 07:28PM sadiesservant wrote:

Lynne, always lovely to hear from you but I’m sorry your TMs are being difficult! Let’s just say it’s a blip. Okay? How is the garden doing? Mine continues to evolve. Now it’s peony season which I love. Our cool spring has continued until now which has given us a longer than normal bloom time. The heat is coming this weekend though so I imagine many will fade. On the upside, my egg chair will finally get some use! I have my book ready and a bit of R&R is in order!

Dodgersgirl, Xeloda has been great for my liver mets. Last year it wiped them out almost completely. This time has been a bit muted but it’s a bit early to know for sure. Unfortunately, it seems to be equally hard on my marrow. Three rounds under my belt and my RBC numbers continue to worsen. Darn… stupid woosey blood. It will be interesting to see what my MO wants to do after six cycles as I don’t know how many times we can stop and restart with a decent response. But we’ll cross that bridge… In the meantime I intend to relish my summer now that I have freedom from work. 😊

Sending positive thoughts to everyone. Moth, hope you will pop in when you are up to it. Oh, and Mel, you are far more patient than I am with paint by numbers. I dabbled with them years ago and wasn’t patient enough to wait for colours to dry in between. I had a lot of melding from colours mixing. LOL.

Dx 4/2001, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 1/10 nodes, ER+ Surgery 5/11/2001 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Right); Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Right): Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary Chemotherapy 6/7/2001 CEF Radiation Therapy 12/17/2001 Whole breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/20/2001 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Hormonal Therapy 1/2/2007 Femara (letrozole) Hormonal Therapy 10/22/2007 Arimidex (anastrozole) Dx 1/3/2017, IDC, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/lungs, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 1/27/2017 Taxol (paclitaxel) Hormonal Therapy 3/29/2017 Arimidex (anastrozole) Targeted Therapy 4/20/2017 Ibrance (palbociclib) Dx 10/12/2017, IDC, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to other Chemotherapy 10/21/2017 Xeloda (capecitabine) Radiation Therapy 11/15/2017 External Local Metastases 11/15/2017 Radiation therapy: Bone Hormonal Therapy 1/19/2018 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Radiation Therapy 8/2/2018 External Local Metastases 8/2/2018 Radiation therapy: Bone Radiation Therapy 11/5/2018 External Local Metastases 11/5/2018 Radiation therapy: Bone Targeted Therapy 10/10/2019 Verzenio Radiation Therapy 11/3/2020 External Local Metastases 11/3/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Dx 1/22/2021, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IV, metastasized to liver, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/4/2021 Xeloda (capecitabine) Chemotherapy 10/8/2021 Other Chemotherapy 1/7/2022 Other
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Jun 24, 2022 08:03PM dodgersgirl wrote:

sadiesservant— hope your blood numbers increase.

On Verzenio my hemoglobin got down to 7.9 so MO was watching it. Being off treatment for a month, most blood numbers have rebounded and are almost normal (almost

Dx 3/10/2017, IDC: Mucinous, Right, Stage IIIB, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 9/10/2017 Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Right) Dx 12/2019, IDC, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to bone Radiation Therapy Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Chemotherapy AC + T (Taxol) Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)

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