Topic: My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

Forum: Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer, Open to All To Contribute — Topics here are started by members with a Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer diagnosis, but open to all members to contribute to discussions. Please note that there is a separate forum, Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY, where topics are open only to those members.

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 08:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 12:42PM by micmel

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 08:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 12:42PM by micmel

micmel wrote:

As I go through this forced path I have been thrown down, I have come to realize the love I have always had for my husband was strong. He is amazing and I love him with my very soul and entire heart. Never would I ever imagine the thought of dying and him being alone. Then the worst part hit me!! I can't seem to shake the horrible sorrow of thinking of another woman taking my place in his life and his heart, and if I Am honest his bed. He is my best friend and the love of my life, I would never need another for any reason. He makes my life complete, and then this happens. How do I process that I most likely won't be the one growing old on the porch that we have talked about, how do I process, someone else sitting in that chair? I hate this trajectory path I've been spun onto, and everyday I feel grief and deep sorrow. How do I live everyday knowing in the back of my mind, I feel like a place holder, for another woman who will be stepping into my life when I die of this horrible disease, more sooner than later. Why would I even want to take any medicines or treatments, when the answer is pretty obviously in front of my face.? Why do we fight so hard for something we cannot control ? Why do we hurt so badly thinking about letting go, or giving up? It's a four letter word that holds so much power. That word is LOVE..... If you have ever felt this way. Share with me, because I understand, I feel this way everyday. I also don't know what to do with the sadness of loss or how to process the process of dying. However slow or fast it may be. Please share your love stories with me, how did you meet? How long together? I want to know your stories, everyone has their person. Everyone loves.....tell me about your family, your friends, your life too, as if this was your living room. ♥️

We are team FU cancer (Named by Parry, our sweet sister) and this is our Lol pub and living room. Welcome, put your feet up and just be you!

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Jun 24, 2022 11:07PM seeq wrote:

50sgirl- yay for being able to see clearly again! Hopefully, the TM jump is just a glitch. Could something about the surgery have affected that?

Dodgersgirl - I'm sorry about your progression. I've heard many say good things about Xeloda. I hope is an easy treatment that pushes things back for you. Do you mind me asking how long you were on Verzenio? I'm coming up on 24 mos and hoping for a long haul on it.

Sadiesservant- your garden sounds lovely - as does your cool spring. We've been in the low 100s for a few days. Hoping for a break in temperatures on Sunday.

Today, I managed 3 sessions of 10 minutes on my elliptical. The breaks help a lot. I was still so done with it at the end of my last session. This afternoon, I dead-headed my knockout roses. It was really too hot for that, but I'm hoping they'll be in full bloom when my kids are here next week. I primed the small wall areas that need finishing next to my kitchen. Tomorrow, I get to experiment with spray-on wall texture; I hope to paint and be finished with it on Sunday.

Waving hi to everyone - Mel, Mae, Candy, Rosie, Tanya, LivingIVLife, booboo (haven't heard from you in awhile), moth, and everyone else!

De novo diagnosis with large/numerous liver mets. Breast lump identified one month later. Hormonal Therapy 7/3/2020 Arimidex (anastrozole) Targeted Therapy 7/10/2020 Verzenio
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Jun 25, 2022 12:28AM kikomoon wrote:

yay for stable emac and Sadie!

Hello to everyone! I haven’t posted in awhile but check in everyday to read how everyone is doing and what you’re up to.

I’m spending my time navigating the grocery prices/meal plans (hello Mara!) unfortunately DH needs full out meals for dinner. I could eat some crackers or whatever but I do need to take in calories.I made Shakshuka the other night which is eggs cooked in a tomato sauce. Soooo good the next day, I’m going to make the sauce every week and cook the eggs in itthe next day. I’m really trying to cut out food waste too.

Also helping DH work on a project to hopefully bring a little extra money in, since I am on disability now “retired” and pulling in less money, while the cost of Everything is going up! He is a graphic designer and is so talented, can draw literally anything. Also can do “web stuff” like make storefronts and manage security and all that. Makes me feel like a dunce!

Dx 10/16/2020, IDC, Left, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to brain/bone/liver/lungs, Grade 2, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Targeted Therapy Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy Tukysa (tucatinib) Radiation Therapy External Targeted Therapy Perjeta (pertuzumab) Targeted Therapy Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy Taxol (paclitaxel) Local Metastases Brain
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Jun 25, 2022 02:07AM mara51506 wrote:

Mae, you are welcome. I plan to try to make english muffin pizzas. Bought some canned pizza sauce to try it out. Planning to put garlic spread and bake the english muffin, adding cheese and beefless ground as well as sliced mushrooms within the last couple of minutes. Should be a nice change from the usual fare.

My lunch today was 1/2 cup black beans, 1/4 cup beefless ground and just under a 1/4 cup of pasta. Baked the beans for 10 mins on 450 to make them crunchy, while they were going, boiled up the pasta which took just about as long as the beans and microwaved the beefless ground since it would just straight up burn in the oven. Added bit of wheat bran, salt and I put together a lot of my spices for sort of an all season spice. Applied the spice liberally. Pulled out some caesar dressing, tiny spoonful, little ranch but also mayo, combined it all, and it was delicious. Better than any package pasta.

2015 chemos AC plus T Herceptin august 12 2016 craniotomy for brain met Sept 23 whole brain radiation November 2016 Herceptin, Perjeta and Taxol. Dec 2016, Dropped the Taxol due to extreme side effects, continuing Herceptin and Perjeta. Dx 3/15/2015, DCIS, Right, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 4/22/2015 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Right) Dx 5/15/2015, IBC, Right, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Dx 7/29/2016, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Jun 25, 2022 03:13AM dodgersgirl wrote:

seeq— I was on Verzenio for 16 months.

Congrats on 3 sessions on the elliptical!! I get to excited when I can walk outside and sit on a bench to enjoy fresh air on a daily basis.

Mara— as others have posted, so enjoy reading on the tasks you continue to accomplish. Makes me joyful to know we can do so much in spite our restrictions


Dx 3/10/2017, IDC: Mucinous, Right, Stage IIIB, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 9/11/2017 Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Right) Dx 12/2019, IDC, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to bone Radiation Therapy Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Chemotherapy AC + T (Taxol) Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Jun 25, 2022 09:22AM candy-678 wrote:

Reading along. Sorry I do not post responses as quickly as I should.

50'sgirl-- Thank you for your comments to me. I do get out SOME, just not as social as I would like, or as social as others think I should be. My outings are by myself and not really interacting with others-- library to pick up books or store to pick up random items between curbside grocery runs. Outside, but not interacting with anyone. Church or restaurants where it would be with friends and socializing I do not do--- mostly due to germ concerns, but also due to friends being busy, or due to me feeling icky.

I hope your TM jump this time was just a fluke.

Dodgers- Hoping Madame X is good to you and you achieve stable and stay there for a long time.

SeeQ- Good to hear you are exercising, even in spurts. I have not done any exercise in a few weeks, sorry to say. My hip hurts and feel so tired. I do need to try some, maybe those 10 minute sessions.

Where is Booboo????

Hi Kikomoon.

April 2021 first progression and flip ER-/PR+ now. Current treatment as of Sept 2021 is Lynparza, Lupron (been on since Nov 2017), and Xgeva (been on since Nov 2017). Dx 6/2017, ILC/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/2017, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 11/1/2017 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 11/1/2017 Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy 11/1/2017 Dx 4/2021, ER-/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy 9/1/2021 Lynparza (olaparib) Chemotherapy AC Surgery Lymph node removal; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left)
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Jun 25, 2022 02:27PM seeq wrote:

Candy - the first time I got on the elliptical a few days ago, I didn't think I'd be able to finish 5 minutes. I took breaks and did 5 minutes at a time until I got tired of it. I figured 5 minutes is better than no minutes. I'm trying to increase my time without hating every minute of it. Lol

I'm trying to psych myself up to work on the wall texturing, but I have to go outside to practice it first and it's ho-o-ot (said in my best 5yo whine). I'm so tempted to wait until tomorrow, but I also just want it done!

De novo diagnosis with large/numerous liver mets. Breast lump identified one month later. Hormonal Therapy 7/3/2020 Arimidex (anastrozole) Targeted Therapy 7/10/2020 Verzenio
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Jun 25, 2022 03:53PM - edited Jun 27, 2022 09:20AM by dodgersgirl

This Post was deleted by dodgersgirl.
Dx 3/10/2017, IDC: Mucinous, Right, Stage IIIB, Grade 2, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 9/11/2017 Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Right) Dx 12/2019, IDC, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to bone Radiation Therapy Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Chemotherapy AC + T (Taxol) Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Jun 25, 2022 05:27PM trishyla wrote:

Has anyone heard from Granna2x, or Shetland Pony or BAP (not sure she posted here) or booboo? I haven't seen any of them online since the "Great Upheaval", which is what I've taken to calling the changes to the website.

I'm hoping the th just didn't want to deal with the "New and Improved " website.

Dx 8/30/2016, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 8/30/2016, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Dx 9/6/2016, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 9/28/2016 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 4/4/2017 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left); Mastectomy (Right); Reconstruction (Left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (Right): DIEP flap Chemotherapy 8/5/2017 Xeloda (capecitabine)
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Jun 25, 2022 07:11PM - edited Jun 25, 2022 07:14PM by candy-678

Last I heard about Grannax was she stopped all treatments. Someone that messages her posted that. Shetland was having a lot of health issues, and also was having problems logging on, I believe. Do not know anything about BAP. And, Booboo, check in when you can, please. She was doing pretty good last we heard from her, I believe.

It is hard when someone stops posting. I always think the worst.

Dodgers--- Thanks. I am sorry you are having to "shelter in place" too. It is hard to think about life pre MBC. I took so much for granted. Job. Church. And just the freedom to move about. Hug from here. Hug

April 2021 first progression and flip ER-/PR+ now. Current treatment as of Sept 2021 is Lynparza, Lupron (been on since Nov 2017), and Xgeva (been on since Nov 2017). Dx 6/2017, ILC/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 9/2017, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 11/1/2017 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 11/1/2017 Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy 11/1/2017 Dx 4/2021, ER-/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy 9/1/2021 Lynparza (olaparib) Chemotherapy AC Surgery Lymph node removal; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left)
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Jun 25, 2022 07:43PM micmel wrote:

have not heard from them except Tanya posted a few days ago.

50’s thank you about the painting, I find it soothing. It really relaxes me . Some of the projects are quite challenging! I’m glad you’re doing ok. Those tms are just a fluke!! I think of you often. I have some fabric left. I think of you. Hugs to you

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)

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