Topic: My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

Forum: Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer, Open to All To Contribute — Topics here are started by members with a Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer diagnosis, but open to all members to contribute to discussions. Please note that there is a separate forum, Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY, where topics are open only to those members.

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 05:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 09:42AM by micmel

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 05:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 09:42AM by micmel

micmel wrote:

As I go through this forced path I have been thrown down, I have come to realize the love I have always had for my husband was strong. He is amazing and I love him with my very soul and entire heart. Never would I ever imagine the thought of dying and him being alone. Then the worst part hit me!! I can't seem to shake the horrible sorrow of thinking of another woman taking my place in his life and his heart, and if I Am honest his bed. He is my best friend and the love of my life, I would never need another for any reason. He makes my life complete, and then this happens. How do I process that I most likely won't be the one growing old on the porch that we have talked about, how do I process, someone else sitting in that chair? I hate this trajectory path I've been spun onto, and everyday I feel grief and deep sorrow. How do I live everyday knowing in the back of my mind, I feel like a place holder, for another woman who will be stepping into my life when I die of this horrible disease, more sooner than later. Why would I even want to take any medicines or treatments, when the answer is pretty obviously in front of my face.? Why do we fight so hard for something we cannot control ? Why do we hurt so badly thinking about letting go, or giving up? It's a four letter word that holds so much power. That word is LOVE..... If you have ever felt this way. Share with me, because I understand, I feel this way everyday. I also don't know what to do with the sadness of loss or how to process the process of dying. However slow or fast it may be. Please share your love stories with me, how did you meet? How long together? I want to know your stories, everyone has their person. Everyone loves.....tell me about your family, your friends, your life too, as if this was your living room. ♥️

We are team FU cancer (Named by Parry, our sweet sister) and this is our Lol pub and living room. Welcome, put your feet up and just be you!

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Jul 1, 2022 06:49AM micmel wrote:

My children are asking for some of them. We are going to choose the best ones to frame. The last one has already been claimed. thank you for even caring

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Jul 1, 2022 08:08AM kbl wrote:

Mel, all of your paint by numbers have been beautiful. I’ve started doing online app paint by numbers. Lol. Not artistic at all and can’t stay in the lines. It’s easy to just pop my finger into the gray spot and it puts the color for me. Haha.

SeeQ, great job on the kitchen. Love the colors. Have fun with the kids.

KittyKat, that’s very interesting to know you say splashback. I learn something new every day.

Waving hi to everyone.

De Novo ILC - No primary found. Mets to full spine, femurs, skull, and stomach. Dx 5/1/2019, ILC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/other, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 9/20/2021 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Chemotherapy 9/27/2021 Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib)
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Jul 1, 2022 08:16AM sunshine99 wrote:

Good morning, everyone! It's nice to wake up, stumble into the Living Room and find everyone here and to "hear" all the chatter.

I'm SOOOO tired (no pun intended) of not being able to sleep at night. Last night I got into bed at around 10:00 but didn't go to sleep until around 1:45 am. If course, I picked up my phone (bad, bad, blue light) to Google "Why can't I sleep?" and then looked on Amazon for natural sleep aids, then checked to see if my Kindle emits blue light, then tossed and turned, and FINALLY fell asleep. I've stopped snacking at night, stopped my evening glass of wine, and I JUST WANT TO SLEEP AT NIGHT!

I don't think I'm napping too much during the day but will monitor that. I may hit the natural food store today and talk to them. Maybe a different kind of magnesium than what I'm currently taking? Who knows? I don't drink anything with caffeine (even decaf) after 1:00 pm.

OK, I'm done grumbling (for now.)

Carol (not-so-sunshine)

my-sunny-side-up.com Cancer has progressed to my bones. I pray that it never enters my soul. Dx 11/2/2007, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIA, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 3/26/2020, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, ER+/PR-, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 4/22/2020 Arimidex (anastrozole) Radiation Therapy 5/5/2020 External Local Metastases 5/5/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Radiation Therapy 5/12/2020 External Local Metastases 5/12/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Targeted Therapy 6/10/2020 Ibrance (palbociclib)
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Jul 1, 2022 08:23AM livingivlife wrote:

Sunshine- have you tried Melatonin? It's a natural sleeping aid. My doctor gave me a prescription for Trazadone to help me sleep if needed.

OH CANADA 🇨🇦

WOULD LIKE TO WISH OUR CANADIAN LADIES A HAPPY CANADA DAY 🇨🇦 😊

Debbie

Deb
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Jul 1, 2022 08:39AM elderberry wrote:

Thanks for the greetings. I found my flag in the jumble that is the reno in the basement and hung it from the back deck. I hope it doesn't confuse or frighten all my little bird friends away from the feeders

A dry Canada Day on the Coast. Almost a miracle. We often have rain to douse any fireworks.

Sunshine: I use melatonin regularly. 10 - 20 mg. Occasionally I use CBD oil. It doesn't put me to sleep but relaxes me enough that I can drift off. Sometimes nothing works for no apparent reason. Then I might have a toke or two of low THC pot. My brain then rambles around for a bit about nothing and I fall asleep.

mel: those paintings are terrific. I remember the old ones from the 1950's -- usually cute dogs and horses. Or maybe they were just the ones I picked out to use.

De Novo - this isn't a "brave battle" - it is a "furious struggle" Dx 3/6/2019, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to liver, HER2+ Targeted Therapy Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy Taxol (paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy Perjeta (pertuzumab)
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Jul 1, 2022 09:53AM sunshine99 wrote:

I've tried melatonin for sleep. I've also tried magnesium, Tylenol PM, Z-quil, Unisom and I think that's all. Not all at once, in case you're worried, LOL. I also was having a glass of wine before bed, but I cut that out. I just got some low dose CBD softgels this morning. Starting with 15 mg. Going to try it tonight. DH is going on another climbing trip next week. I want to try this while he's home.

Carol

my-sunny-side-up.com Cancer has progressed to my bones. I pray that it never enters my soul. Dx 11/2/2007, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIA, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 3/26/2020, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, ER+/PR-, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 4/22/2020 Arimidex (anastrozole) Radiation Therapy 5/5/2020 External Local Metastases 5/5/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Radiation Therapy 5/12/2020 External Local Metastases 5/12/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Targeted Therapy 6/10/2020 Ibrance (palbociclib)
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Jul 1, 2022 12:27PM mara51506 wrote:

Seeq, love the kitchen and backsplash. Envy all that counter space but it is wonderful.

Mel, glad the painting is keeping your mind easy.

I was up too late until 400 am and woke around 8 am. Still feeling OK but took it easy today. Watched the last two episodes of Stranger Things 4 and will watch the rest of The Boys after Young and Restless. Yesterday watched the high art of Beavis and Butt-head do the Universe which was funny. Nostalgia for sure.

2015 chemos AC plus T Herceptin august 12 2016 craniotomy for brain met Sept 23 whole brain radiation November 2016 Herceptin, Perjeta and Taxol. Dec 2016, Dropped the Taxol due to extreme side effects, continuing Herceptin and Perjeta. Dx 3/15/2015, DCIS, Right, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 4/22/2015 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Right) Dx 5/15/2015, IBC, Right, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Dx 7/29/2016, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Jul 1, 2022 01:58PM goldensrbest wrote:

Mel - love the paintings. None of them look like paint by number! Last one is my favorite too. I imagine opening the door to find a beautiful garden area with a fountain surrounded by a walkway all around leading to various other doors and sitting areas. Sort of like a Tuscan villa. How funny - I’m having a small glass of Chardonnay as I write.
So we got our 2nd covid booster on Monday and today I wake up with this strange rash a couple inches below the site of injection. I was worried that I got a bug bite during the nite and went through the sheets looking for a culprit. Nothing to be found. Then later then injection site had a rash. Come to find out I have what is called Covid Arm, which is a rare occurrence that can happen a few days after the actual shot. Doesn’t itch Go figure.
Have a safe holiday weekend sisters!


Dx 6/1990, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, 1/20 nodes, ER+/PR+ Dx 7/1999, IDC, Right, <1cm Dx 7/26/2019, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/lungs, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 8/31/2019 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 9/25/2019 Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy 1/30/2020 Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Chemotherapy CMF Surgery Mastectomy Surgery Lumpectomy; Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes
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Jul 1, 2022 02:36PM kikomoon wrote:

elderberry- send some of that rain this way! We hand watered the dry yard today B/c Of fireworks in the neighborhood and DH has big grill plans, already started a brisket and pork butt will be tomorrow. He’s really bustin’ my grocery budget! I am counting on lots of leftovers that he will see often while I eat vegetable soups.

Mel- I agree with Rosie, wait for a frame sale at Michaels if you have them. You won’t have to wait long.

I need SeeQ’s beautiful kitchen! I am so irritated with internet recipes. All the reviews are like “ it looks so good”! But did you make it? Because I did - made Kind Bars and it was a damn mess! Going to have to eat with a spoon. I made quinoa bars (after I got the damn quinoa) and I didn’t like them. DH ate them though. If anyone has a trusted recipe for no refined sugar granola -type and/or nut bars I’ll take it!

Our house was built in 1920 and has half the original kitchen, and 1/2 crappy diy 90’s reno. Counters are thin granite looking TILES, the kind that if you spill coffee grounds you’ll NEVER know. The kitchen floors are awful travertine tiles, with big holes, not good for kitchens spills. The old pantry has three types of tiles, the layers of history! Apparently no one has ever torn any out- probably asbestos that’s why. No dishwasher either. But I love this old quirky house. I think the listing even said “quirky”. just like us.

I’m just rambling now. Thanks for listening

Dx 10/16/2020, IDC, Left, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to brain/bone/liver/lungs, Grade 2, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Targeted Therapy Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy Tukysa (tucatinib) Radiation Therapy External Targeted Therapy Perjeta (pertuzumab) Targeted Therapy Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy Taxol (paclitaxel) Local Metastases Brain
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Jul 1, 2022 03:07PM kikomoon wrote:

Mara- Beavis and Butthead LOL! I stop on that show sometimes on Pluto and just laugh and laugh at how stupid they are! Nostalgia for sure.

Goldens- a Covid rash, yikes! Hope it gets better soon.

Dx 10/16/2020, IDC, Left, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to brain/bone/liver/lungs, Grade 2, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Targeted Therapy Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy Tukysa (tucatinib) Radiation Therapy External Targeted Therapy Perjeta (pertuzumab) Targeted Therapy Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy Taxol (paclitaxel) Local Metastases Brain

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