Topic: My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

Forum: Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer, Open to All To Contribute — Topics here are started by members with a Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer diagnosis, but open to all members to contribute to discussions. Please note that there is a separate forum, Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY, where topics are open only to those members.

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 05:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 09:42AM by micmel

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 05:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 09:42AM by micmel

micmel wrote:

As I go through this forced path I have been thrown down, I have come to realize the love I have always had for my husband was strong. He is amazing and I love him with my very soul and entire heart. Never would I ever imagine the thought of dying and him being alone. Then the worst part hit me!! I can't seem to shake the horrible sorrow of thinking of another woman taking my place in his life and his heart, and if I Am honest his bed. He is my best friend and the love of my life, I would never need another for any reason. He makes my life complete, and then this happens. How do I process that I most likely won't be the one growing old on the porch that we have talked about, how do I process, someone else sitting in that chair? I hate this trajectory path I've been spun onto, and everyday I feel grief and deep sorrow. How do I live everyday knowing in the back of my mind, I feel like a place holder, for another woman who will be stepping into my life when I die of this horrible disease, more sooner than later. Why would I even want to take any medicines or treatments, when the answer is pretty obviously in front of my face.? Why do we fight so hard for something we cannot control ? Why do we hurt so badly thinking about letting go, or giving up? It's a four letter word that holds so much power. That word is LOVE..... If you have ever felt this way. Share with me, because I understand, I feel this way everyday. I also don't know what to do with the sadness of loss or how to process the process of dying. However slow or fast it may be. Please share your love stories with me, how did you meet? How long together? I want to know your stories, everyone has their person. Everyone loves.....tell me about your family, your friends, your life too, as if this was your living room. ♥️

We are team FU cancer (Named by Parry, our sweet sister) and this is our Lol pub and living room. Welcome, put your feet up and just be you!

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/20/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Aug 16, 2022 05:20PM micmel wrote:

sending Karen hugs and good thoughts the tx will kick some Arse.

Pocket for for anyone who needs it. Thinking about you all. Hoping we’re doing the best we can. It’s all we can do. Big hugs and support for all mySisters.

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/20/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Aug 16, 2022 09:38PM emac877 wrote:

Karen and Candy, in your pocket for the rough week. Karen, I hope Taxol is not too bad. I have not done that but will be thinking of you. Likewise, Candy, hope things settle down a bit for you too.

Mara - I love refried beans. I typically buy the Rosarita brand. I buy them sometimes but make my own a lot. If it's too expensive to order them on Amazon you can hack them yourself out of canned pinto beans. I drain a can of beans and add it to a skillet with some garlic powder, cumin, paprika, salt and pepper to taste. As you mash the beans into the butter they "fry" themselves. It's not quite the same as the traditional slow cooked refried beans but it's easy and affordable. I've mixed black and pinto beans too, that's pretty good. It makes a fairly easy meal with a little sour cream or cheese on top and some tortilla chips. I'm a nut for spice so I will sometimes add chopped jalapeño or red pepper if I have them.

I've done 5/10 radiation treatments. So far so good. The silver lining in it is that off of the Verzenio I feel great! I have energy and motivation. I feel kind of like the self I used to be. I am considering asking for a dose reduction and seeing what my MO thinks about that when I see him in September. I've been stable for 2.5 years and I'm a little cautious to rock the boat too much on that.

Dx 2/8/2018, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 3/21/2018 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Right); Lymph node removal Chemotherapy 6/7/2018 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 8/26/2018 Whole breast: Breast, Chest wall Dx 12/4/2019, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone Surgery 12/10/2019 Radiation Therapy 12/22/2019 External Local Metastases 12/22/2019 Radiation therapy: Bone Targeted Therapy 1/6/2020 Verzenio Hormonal Therapy 6/22/2021 Faslodex (fulvestrant)
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Aug 17, 2022 05:36AM denny10 wrote:

candy , a happy dance for you - a stable mabel, long may it continue. Sorry you are having the addtional pain of caring for your father, remember you are doing the best for him.

karen , I was on taxol ,until I had an allergic reaction- like anaphalaxis - and had to change to Abraxane: hair loss, some anaemia .The worst part for me was peripheral neuropathy which I still have after changing meds. I am not sure if they could have done any more to prevent / inhibit it, but I used to love walking ,I now find 2 to 3 miles is the absolute max. I can do.

12/2021 Stage IV TN Dx 2007, Left, Stage IIB, HER2- Dx 12/2013, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to liver/lungs/other, ER+ Hormonal Therapy Faslodex (fulvestrant), Femara (letrozole), Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Aug 17, 2022 05:58AM micmel wrote:

I agree with the abraxane side effects lasting. I have the same issues with neuropathy and walking. It sucks. I know how it feels. Hugs!! To you

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/20/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Aug 17, 2022 07:24AM booboo1 wrote:

Emac,

Good for you (asking for a dose reduction). You can and should ask because it’s your body, and you are the boss, not your caregivers or your MO. Sometimes we lose sight of that…I was never on Verzenio, but I understand it’s a tough one, so good for you for hanging in there.

I am still experiencing a ton of pain at the top of my leg, the one where I have the rod. I’m not sure what is happening, but pain meds don’t work. I wish there was something other than OxyContin that they could give us. Ugh!

I hope you find relief from your radiation treatments too. Take care, and we’re in your pocket!


Laurie (aka Booboo) Dx 3/1/2013, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 1/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 5/14/2013 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal Dx 1/2017, DCIS, Left, 1cm, Stage 0, metastasized to bone/liver, Grade 2, 1/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy Faslodex (fulvestrant) Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib) Chemotherapy AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 3DCRT: Breast
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Aug 17, 2022 08:14AM - edited Aug 17, 2022 08:29AM by mara51506

Mel, Candy and Karen, still in your pocket even though I know Mel's sister is OK.

Laurie, I am so sorry for the pain you are enduring, I hope something can be done about it soon for you. Oxy and those drugs are hard to put up with, I hope they take some or all of it away.

Emac, those sound really good. They are not a bad price on Amazon but they are really good. I may sometimes just have them to eat as a total meal and add the queso and sour cream. I may have that today for breakfast, add some rice for the carbs.

I am not doing a lot, did a laundry. I decided that it was most efficient to combine all four major laundry detergent ingredients together to save some money. I was doing a tiny scoop of each, 3 scoops in all but decided one scoop should suffice. My detergent includes equal parts Tide, grated sunlight laundry soap and regular soap bars, wash soda and oxiclean as well, this combo and using one scoop is way less soapy and smells good. I also do not use as much of each meaning it will last longer. If something is more soiled, add an extra oxiclean scoop and soak it. I am also itching to try a recipe for liquid detergent just for fun. It includes 1/2 cup dish soap, 1/2 washing soda, 1/2 cup borax which I would sub for oxiclean and 4 cups hot water. I did watch a video on it, amazingly, it did not create a ton of suds. Have to wait til I get a container that would hold it all like a vinegar container or something or an old fabric softener container.

Deciding about taking the bus to Walmart, partly to get some walking in and partly to pass the time IF they shut off the water. Last time we got the notice, it was never shut off. Got all the water I need anyway but still, might not be a bad idea. If not, planning to do the treadmill today. I was lazy yesterday for exercise and I really felt the fatigue.

2015 chemos AC plus T Herceptin august 12 2016 craniotomy for brain met Sept 23 whole brain radiation November 2016 Herceptin, Perjeta and Taxol. Dec 2016, Dropped the Taxol due to extreme side effects, continuing Herceptin and Perjeta. Dx 3/15/2015, DCIS, Right, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 4/21/2015 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Right) Dx 5/15/2015, IBC, Right, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Dx 7/29/2016, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Aug 17, 2022 08:48AM - edited Aug 17, 2022 08:49AM by illimae

Good morning all, still stormy but at least the sun isout today. Here's a cool pic of the clouds rolling up the mountain.


Diagnosed at 41 Stage IV De Novo Dx 11/16/2016, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ Chemotherapy 1/1/2017 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Surgery 6/26/2017 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy 8/10/2017 Breast, Lymph nodes Dx 10/5/2017, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+, HER2+ Radiation Therapy 10/19/2017 External Local Metastases 10/19/2017 Brain Radiation Therapy 4/18/2018 External Local Metastases 4/18/2018 Brain Radiation Therapy 5/22/2019 External Local Metastases 5/22/2019 Brain Surgery 1/22/2020 Radiation Therapy 2/16/2020 External Local Metastases 2/16/2020 Brain Radiation Therapy 7/20/2020 External Local Metastases 7/20/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Radiation Therapy 12/4/2020 External Local Metastases 12/4/2020 Brain Targeted Therapy Tukysa (tucatinib) Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Aug 17, 2022 09:07AM mara51506 wrote:

Emac, I did take your idea of having refried beans as a meal and took 1/2 cup refried pinto beans and added to a heated frypan. Added a spoonful of garlic spread, wheat bran, mustard and ketchup. Mixed together and let them heat on low while covered to let it all combine, put on plate and just added salt.. I really was not sure about the mustard and ketchup but it was really good. The texture was close to baby food but I did not mind as taste is more important to me. I will eat that as a snack or small meal going forward.

2015 chemos AC plus T Herceptin august 12 2016 craniotomy for brain met Sept 23 whole brain radiation November 2016 Herceptin, Perjeta and Taxol. Dec 2016, Dropped the Taxol due to extreme side effects, continuing Herceptin and Perjeta. Dx 3/15/2015, DCIS, Right, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 4/21/2015 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Right) Dx 5/15/2015, IBC, Right, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Dx 7/29/2016, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Aug 17, 2022 10:47AM elderberry wrote:

mae: what a gorgeous photo. I can see why you wanted to go up there to live. Do you have wildfire dangers?

De Novo - this isn't a "brave battle" - it is a "furious struggle" Dx 3/6/2019, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to liver, HER2+ Targeted Therapy Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy Taxol (paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy Perjeta (pertuzumab)
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Aug 17, 2022 01:05PM illimae wrote:

Elderberry, yes, wildfire danger is our biggest concern being so dry and windy in the higher areas. Also, we have no city services here, just a VFD and strategically placed water tanks but fortunately there are very few permanent residents (mostly cabins for those who come out a few times per year) and those that are here are extremely cautious.

Diagnosed at 41 Stage IV De Novo Dx 11/16/2016, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ Chemotherapy 1/1/2017 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Surgery 6/26/2017 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy 8/10/2017 Breast, Lymph nodes Dx 10/5/2017, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+, HER2+ Radiation Therapy 10/19/2017 External Local Metastases 10/19/2017 Brain Radiation Therapy 4/18/2018 External Local Metastases 4/18/2018 Brain Radiation Therapy 5/22/2019 External Local Metastases 5/22/2019 Brain Surgery 1/22/2020 Radiation Therapy 2/16/2020 External Local Metastases 2/16/2020 Brain Radiation Therapy 7/20/2020 External Local Metastases 7/20/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Radiation Therapy 12/4/2020 External Local Metastases 12/4/2020 Brain Targeted Therapy Tukysa (tucatinib) Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)

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