Aug 2, 2020 11:17AM illimae wrote:
Topics here are started by members with a Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer diagnosis, but open to all members to contribute to discussions. Please note that there is a separate forum, Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY, where topics are open only to those members.
Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 07:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 11:42AM by Micmel
As I go through this forced path I have been thrown down, I have come to realize the love I have always had for my husband was strong. He is amazing and I love him with my very soul and entire heart. Never would I ever imagine the thought of dying and him being alone. Then the worst part hit me!! I can't seem to shake the horrible sorrow of thinking of another woman taking my place in his life and his heart, and if I Am honest his bed. He is my best friend and the love of my life, I would never need another for any reason. He makes my life complete, and then this happens. How do I process that I most likely won't be the one growing old on the porch that we have talked about, how do I process, someone else sitting in that chair? I hate this trajectory path I've been spun onto, and everyday I feel grief and deep sorrow. How do I live everyday knowing in the back of my mind, I feel like a place holder, for another woman who will be stepping into my life when I die of this horrible disease, more sooner than later. Why would I even want to take any medicines or treatments, when the answer is pretty obviously in front of my face.? Why do we fight so hard for something we cannot control ? Why do we hurt so badly thinking about letting go, or giving up? It's a four letter word that holds so much power. That word is LOVE..... If you have ever felt this way. Share with me, because I understand, I feel this way everyday. I also don't know what to do with the sadness of loss or how to process the process of dying. However slow or fast it may be. Please share your love stories with me, how did you meet? How long together? I want to know your stories, everyone has their person. Everyone loves.....tell me about your family, your friends, your life too, as if this was your living room. ♥️
We are team FU cancer (Named by Parry, our sweet sister) and this is our Lol pub and living room. Welcome, put your feet up and just be you!
Posts 16081 - 16110 (16,991 total)
Aug 2, 2020 11:17AM illimae wrote:
Aug 2, 2020 11:34AM candy-678 wrote:
Rosie- Happy 61st Birthday!!! Enjoy the day!!!
Aug 2, 2020 01:02PM SondraF wrote:
Rosie - Happy Birthday, I hope you have a great dinner out!
Karen - Thanks for the photo, that is definitely some swelling! Glad you were able to get that dealt with in time!
Candy - Really happy to hear that you tried something different! I've heard of others who really get into D&D and it can be very extensive and engaging.
Aug 2, 2020 02:25PM Tanya_Djamila wrote:
Waving hello to all, including the moderators.
Happy Birthday Rosie 24!
Karen woo that looks swollen. I hope the medicine takes care of that post haste!
Candy I've never played that game but it sounds engaging. Socializing on zoom is our new thing to do. I haven't tried a game yet.
Raining off and on here. I think that's the forecast for the day. I'm cooking lamb byriani which is lamb and rice with spices. I go easy on the spices because my stomach never knows what to do with them.
Mel your mask business is booming. Great work dear. I know that the dispensary workers were happy. They never closed here.
Aug 2, 2020 02:39PM mara51506 wrote:
Candy, my older DB used to play D&D himself as a teen into his twenties I think. It is definitely still very popular. My nieces partner also gets together with people to play. I have never played but used to spend hours reading older DB book of characters and powers. Kept me quite entertained. Glad you are zooming again.
Happy birthday Rosie.
Mel, I am so glad these masks are so enjoyable for you to make. I will most definitely enjoy mine when it comes. If you need any money for postage, let me know your email and we can possibly etransfer the funds to you.
Aug 2, 2020 02:53PM moth wrote:
Karen, hope your dvt resolves quickly. The newer anticoags don't require as frequent blood monitoring so if they work for a pt they're much preferred over the older meds.
I'm sure they told you that if you experience any shortness of breath or chest pain to call an ambulance immediately. Well, that goes for anyone on blood thinners or who suspects a dvt. I keep hearing about pts or family members who aren't told or they didn't really register how important it was so like to remind... :)
Aug 2, 2020 03:08PM - edited Aug 2, 2020 06:42PM by moth
Rosie - happy birthday & wishing you many more!
We had our first real sit down (but 3 m socially distanced) visit from my parents this morning, out on our fortunately very large deck. Before this I had only seen them from the door, in the driveway for a few minutes. My parents live about 30 min away by the ocean in downtown Vancouver where the crowds are big. They wear masks but still, I think they're exposed to a lot of people. It was nice to see them. Normally we'd see them at least every couple weeks so it's been weird not having a visit with them since March.
Virtual hugs for everyone
Aug 2, 2020 05:56PM Micmel wrote:
Happy Birthday Rosie, of course I would send you some, I have a few people I have to get packages out to. Some should arrive tomorrow. The trick is finding the prefect mailer. The prime envelopes work the best . It makes me happy to be able to share with my sisters here.
Aug 2, 2020 06:52PM Karenfizedbo15 wrote:
Hope you had a good day Rosie?!
Thanks for all your notes on the DVT - Moth, nobody told me to phone in as emergency about anything 😬....although I will of course if need be. Actually managed a lovely 6 mile walk yesterday with a friend, just shows you, the advice is to keep moving and that def is helping!
Aug 3, 2020 07:04AM booboo1 wrote:
Happy Birthday. I’m a bit late, but hope you had a good one!
Aug 3, 2020 10:40AM illimae wrote:
I’m off for a routine cardiologist follow up.
Feeling fancy, might call the paparazzi on myself, lol
Aug 3, 2020 10:42AM mara51506 wrote:
Karen, glad you enjoyed your walk. That is quite a distance. Movement definitely is great for DVT to keep everything flowing and the added benefit of time spent with your friend. Glad for you.
Moth, glad you visited with your parents. Even the distant meeting, getting to see them in person is still so very important and I am glad for you.
If I did not say it before, Happy Birthday Rosie.
Saying hello to our dear Mel making those masks with so much care, booboo, candy, bliss and everyone. Hoping days are good for everyone as well.
I am having a very musically nostalgic day. Doing surveys for cash with a station playing my 70s and 80s songs. I enjoy many of them. Put me in a good mood. Not doing too much else other than the usual walking, indoors and out. May go to the grocery store for milk, not exciting but I do not mind
I texted with a friend I have known since childhood. She was my mom's best friend but we remained close and am feeling quite bad for her. She has a brother in law whose esophageal cancer has metastasized, his wife has breast cancer (though physically doing well), a sick brother she lives with since he cannot afford to be on his own. She also had dental issues that needed surgery.
Her situation lets me know how lucky I am currently in my life. No major issues going on for me right now in my life healthwise or really personal wise. I am immensely grateful for this and will keep this feeling close next time I think I have an issue.
Aug 3, 2020 11:07AM Micmel wrote:
lmao Mae you crack me up
Aug 3, 2020 01:04PM mara51506 wrote:
Lovely look Mae.
Aug 3, 2020 01:54PM candy-678 wrote:
Mae- I love the look!!!
mara- Sounds like a fun day listening to the oldies and doing your surveys.
Aug 3, 2020 04:44PM Micmel wrote:
Did hear from philly. She’s doing better and doing more with her work. That’s helping her. She sends her love and will be by soon.
Aug 3, 2020 05:34PM MinusTwo wrote:
Mae - gorgeous !!! I would have called the Chronicle but the society pages are pretty much non-existant because of the virus.
Aug 3, 2020 07:14PM Tanya_Djamila wrote:
Sun in and out but no rain.
Did receive this bit of sunshine today. Thanks so much Mel they’re beautiful. Professional work. Colorful and sleek.
Mae you can pull off any look. Pure sophistication.
Aug 3, 2020 08:16PM mara51506 wrote:
Mel, those are lovely masks. You really are talented. Still glad this fills you with joy! You are filling all of us with joy too.
Gotta laugh at myself sometimes. I was keeping somewhat busy this weekend, walking and the usual and feeling disappointed I did not see DB and SIL. I would never say anything as I don't feel I am owed a visit but it was at the back of my mind. Well, don't you know it, DB texted me tonight. His van died. He had to get a new one and borrowed MIL car until then to get around. He was worried that I might be disappointed not seeing him. He was right but I am so glad I don't text them asking questions if they don't come. I told him I was glad that he got a new van and of coursed loved them both. I also thought to myself, it was a good thing that I did not get upset by them not coming. There could be things happening I am not aware of. I did have a nice day today, got out for a couple of walks before some rain came in which was nice, sweat my butt off even though it was not hot. Learning to adjust to that again. It has been a while since I would sweat like that, even while walking. Would just clean clothes and change them if going out again. Hopefully tomorrow is not a total washout, I would like to try a steep hill at a nearby park again for my morning walk. I was able to clear it a couple of days ago and not be breathing hard most of the way home. I only breathed hard a couple of minutes once I was back on flat ground. Want to keep that up for sure.
Aug 3, 2020 08:24PM Micmel wrote:
Tanya~I am thrilled you received them. I included some for your mother as well. I hope you will all use them and think of me !!I tried to send a variety to you. If colors and patterns. I enjoy doing it. Glad you received theM as quickly as they said. Thank you for even wanting them.
Aug 3, 2020 08:27PM Micmel wrote:
I have Maras packaged and have to package one more other to send and I’ll get them both out. I am having fun picking them out. Lol.
Rosie~Picking yours out also. Just have to wrap it up. I’d be glad to send some. !!
Aug 3, 2020 08:45PM mara51506 wrote:
Thanks Mel, looking forward to it.
Aug 3, 2020 09:19PM Rosie24 wrote:
Thanks Mel! Tanya’s look beautiful! Excited to receive them.
Aug 4, 2020 07:10AM booboo1 wrote:
I can’t wait to get some of those beautiful masks too! Mel, you might need to start a business soon!
I developed thrush from the antibiotics my pulmonologist prescribed several weeks ago. If it ain’t one thing it’s another. Now have new meds for that. Oh well, just another day in the life...
Hope all of my sisters are doing well. Moomala, I hope your pain levels are better.
Aug 4, 2020 07:55AM santabarbarian wrote:
Mel I am really impressed with your beautiful masks!
Aug 4, 2020 08:05AM candy-678 wrote:
I PM'd Mel, but I wanted to say publicly that I received my masks and they are great!!!! Mel is talented, and caring that she is sending them to us.
Today is lab draw day. Woohoo. Get out and see other people. Get out of my house. Pitiful. Then home to do stuff around here. I wish Covid was gone. Could go out to a store or the library or something. More cases in my area every day.
Aug 4, 2020 11:04AM moth wrote:
Yesterday in the evening I realised we were out of bread. We normally do our grocery curbside pickup Monday nights but had bumped it to Tuesday becasue of the long weekend here in Canada so that explained why we are out..
Anyway I decided to make a loaf in the bread machine. Haven't used it in ages, had to go downstairs and actually find it in the storage, then search for the instruction & recipe booklet.. but it all worked out. I programmed it to be ready in the morning & now there is lovely bread smell in the house and the funny loaf (they're almost always funny loaves from the machine) is cooling.
Also, I'm getting a water fountain for the deck! So excited about this project. We have a creek on the property and a little waterfall but I can't hear it from house. So we are making a fountain and a potted garden on the deck & I will be able to hear it from the bedroom