Nov 15, 2020 06:33PM Micmel wrote:
my Alexa plays heavy rain sounds That’s what I fall asleep to. Soothing noise. I love it
Topics here are started by members with a Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer diagnosis, but open to all members to contribute to discussions. Please note that there is a separate forum, Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY, where topics are open only to those members.
Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 07:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 11:42AM by Micmel
Micmel wrote:
As I go through this forced path I have been thrown down, I have come to realize the love I have always had for my husband was strong. He is amazing and I love him with my very soul and entire heart. Never would I ever imagine the thought of dying and him being alone. Then the worst part hit me!! I can't seem to shake the horrible sorrow of thinking of another woman taking my place in his life and his heart, and if I Am honest his bed. He is my best friend and the love of my life, I would never need another for any reason. He makes my life complete, and then this happens. How do I process that I most likely won't be the one growing old on the porch that we have talked about, how do I process, someone else sitting in that chair? I hate this trajectory path I've been spun onto, and everyday I feel grief and deep sorrow. How do I live everyday knowing in the back of my mind, I feel like a place holder, for another woman who will be stepping into my life when I die of this horrible disease, more sooner than later. Why would I even want to take any medicines or treatments, when the answer is pretty obviously in front of my face.? Why do we fight so hard for something we cannot control ? Why do we hurt so badly thinking about letting go, or giving up? It's a four letter word that holds so much power. That word is LOVE..... If you have ever felt this way. Share with me, because I understand, I feel this way everyday. I also don't know what to do with the sadness of loss or how to process the process of dying. However slow or fast it may be. Please share your love stories with me, how did you meet? How long together? I want to know your stories, everyone has their person. Everyone loves.....tell me about your family, your friends, your life too, as if this was your living room. ♥️
We are team FU cancer (Named by Parry, our sweet sister) and this is our Lol pub and living room. Welcome, put your feet up and just be you!
Posts 17851 - 17880 (19,926 total)
Nov 15, 2020 06:33PM Micmel wrote:
my Alexa plays heavy rain sounds That’s what I fall asleep to. Soothing noise. I love it
Nov 15, 2020 06:45PM illimae wrote:
Me too micmel, when I listen to the sounds category, it’s “thunder storm rolling in”.
Nov 15, 2020 07:02PM moth wrote:
in Vancouver heavy rain's our open the window noise :p
I planted bulbs! We had old tulips and daffs in the perennial beds but they haven't been refreshed and few of them came up this year. Then the online store where I was going to order last weekend but couldn't decide, they actually sold out of everything except hyacinth (which I ordered quickly before that sold out too) ! Just when I decided that yes, I wanted to get tulips and daffs. I was so bummed. But dh had to go to hardware store to buy a new garburator as ours died and he quickly wandered through the garden center and found some bulb packages. We planted everything and will either have nice spring displays or very fat squirrels.
Nov 15, 2020 07:22PM Micmel wrote:
wake up mods. Get rid of that spam. Please. Offensive!!
Nov 15, 2020 07:22PM mara51506 wrote:
We had some rain and heavy wind throughout the day, it cleared up and not as windy.
I had a nice birthday dinner with DB, SiL, niece, her partner and one of my nephews. Turkey, stuffing, salad, garlic bread first. Then we took a break and older DB surprised me because I thought we would have the remaining peanut butter fingers but he made my mother's carrot cake which I always used to ask for. Needless to say, I ate and feel like I will explode but not in a bad way. Took home some leftovers for tomorrow. They got me grocery gift cards which I asked everyone for. There was nothing I wanted otherwise which was nice and Ferraro Rocher. Yum. Nice evening with everyone.
Nov 15, 2020 08:12PM illimae wrote:
Micmel, I saw that too. It was rude but more than that, it’s such a juvenile waste of time. I didn’t get the point, all that effort of multiple post but it was just stupid.
Nov 15, 2020 08:15PM BevJen wrote:
I sent a PM to the mods to ask them to remove that baloney. I found it disturbing and insulting.
Hopefully the mods will get rid of it.
Nov 15, 2020 09:56PM Micmel wrote:
I can’t believe someone would be that cruel. Man the nerve of some.
Nov 16, 2020 06:38AM booboo1 wrote:
Did I miss something? What spam?
Nov 16, 2020 07:08AM SandiBeach57 wrote:
What happened?
Nov 16, 2020 07:29AM candy-678 wrote:
Morning all.
I missed the "spam". I haven't seen anything.
Just reading all your posts. Not much to add right now.
Nov 16, 2020 07:59AM - edited Nov 16, 2020 09:48AM by illimae
Someone created a username, then bombarded the threads with stupidity.
Deleted the screenshots at mods request. Just some fool trolling.
Nov 16, 2020 08:02AM mara51506 wrote:
Really curious about the spam too.
Nov 16, 2020 08:05AM illimae wrote:
Mara, I just added screenshots above for those who missed it
Nov 16, 2020 10:24AM Sunshine99 wrote:
micmel and illimae, I love the sound of a storm and rain. My dog doesn't. I have a song that starts with the sound of thunder. I played it recently on my sound system with the good base. It started my dog barking. Oh well. I guess I could use headphones.
Glad I missed the spam post...
Nov 16, 2020 10:33AM Tanya_Djamila wrote:
Good morning all
SondraF I read the article you posted. It really hit the nail on the head. Covid has made everyone face their mortality a little but nothing like MBC to hammer the point home. I think I spend most of the time doing other things but when the thought pops in my mind there’s no ignoring it.
I didn’t see the spam probably better not to see.
My daughter in a small ceremony remarried her ex husband yesterday. They have five children were married for 17 years divorced for 4 and now they’re gonna try for happily ever after.
Nov 16, 2020 11:23AM booboo1 wrote:
Tanya,
What a beautiful family. And wonderful news. We have two friends (our besties) who did the exact same thing. Divorced for 4 years and then remarried. They are living their happily ever, so best of luck to your daughter and son-in-law. Congrats!
Nov 16, 2020 11:32AM candy-678 wrote:
Tanya- Beautiful pic of your family.
Nov 16, 2020 11:41AM SandiBeach57 wrote:
Tanya..needed that nice story. Thank you.
Nov 16, 2020 11:45AM moth wrote:
Tanya - beautiful! May their love continue to grow and fill their hearts.
Nov 16, 2020 11:49AM moth wrote:
I had to go renew my driver's licence today and omg, that's going to be one horrible picture. I mean nobody looks good in them anymore (we're not allowed to smile in them now because of facial recognition software) but I made NO effort. Didn't bother to throw on a wig, had no make up, no eyebrows, nothing. Now I wonder if I'm going to regret it. I have to pull it out at every medical appointment as it also serves as proof of having BC healthcare & it's going to be insanely bad. I think I might look like an old hungover man..... I'm going to have to make up my mind to find it funny
Nov 16, 2020 11:56AM mara51506 wrote:
Guess a breastcancer site is not safe from stupid trolls. Oh well, they cannot wreck our day.
I am no longer walking such long distances up and down hills. I was in too much pain yesterday, back sore from being stooped on the way home. Not worth it. I am combining mini elliptical which is ergonomic on my sofa and allows me to sit around and pedal after meals. Shorter walks, maybe more than one are in order. I may walk one way to a further locale, but the bus will get me over the hills on the way home. Still walking and pedaling to keep up legs. One nice thing with the pedaling is I can use my bed table to hold my computer on and do all my lazy stuff.
I have so much food from dinner yesterday, we had turkey, stuffing, salad etc. Going to split it up and freeze smaller meals together. Surveys, laundry and tv are the only other things on the agenda
Nov 16, 2020 12:04PM SondraF wrote:
That is a lovely family photo Tanja - talk about capturing 2020!
Nov 16, 2020 12:07PM mara51506 wrote:
Tanya, beautiful family and wonderful story of rediscovered love. So nice to hear happy news for a change. That is wonderful to hear.
Nov 16, 2020 12:18PM Chicagoan wrote:
Tanya,
What wonderful news about your daughter and her husband. Thanks for sharing the beautiful picture.
Mara-I too love walking and keep pushing myself so that I can stay strong and happy. I find for long or hilly walks, that walking poles make a huge difference for my back. I have numerous healed bone mets in my back-the poles help me to walk straighter and also give a mild upper body workout. You might want to investigate them for yourself. Mine were not cheap ($70) but I have used them for over 4 years. I don't need them on short walks but they are a necessity for anything over 3 miles.
Nov 16, 2020 04:35PM mara51506 wrote:
I will definitely keep those in mind Chicagoan, thank you for the suggestion. There is a nice steep hill at a park nearby that I can practice on as well. I don't mind the idea of a 3 mile or 5K walk for sure, just not bothering for 12 km walk. I did not walk today but wound up pedaling my cubii elliptical from the sofa for 3 hours, I got warm and stretched in between sessions. Felt pretty good and loosened up some muscles. I also think an earlier bedtime tonight will be helpful.
Nov 16, 2020 04:57PM Micmel wrote:
Tanya~So precious!!!! What a great family photo. May they have that happily ever after.......♥️
Nov 16, 2020 04:58PM Micmel wrote:
Moth, I just had mine done also. Wasn’t too thrilled. The person asked me if I want to smile lol odd how things are so different.
Nov 16, 2020 05:54PM mara51506 wrote:
Moth, I no longer wear makeup myself, just cannot be bothered when having to wear a mask. Don't need to fuss with a mask with all sorts of makeup. Most of the time when I am out, I get warm and sweaty so I want to just toss my mask in the wash (mostly wear Mels), put each one in a separate mesh bag for wash and rinse cycle and just hang to dry. I do wear a wig because I honestly cannot stand to see myself without hair. My wigs do make people think it looks like real hair as well. Speaking of hair, I really do need to clipper the biohair I do have, it is getting longer at the back and starting to get the bozo vibe again.
Nov 17, 2020 01:37AM runor wrote:
Moth, they make us look like old hungover men in our license photos on purpose. I swear they download the photos in the Paint program then add moustaches, nose warts, black bags under the eyes and maybe remove an eyeball now and then just for fun. I look like a terrorist who needs plastic surgery.
Tanya, what an elegant photo of you all! Congratulations to your daughter.
I have been away for a bit and there was so much posting that I gave up trying to read it all. But I wanted to swing by, say hi and hope you're all hanging in there. Oh, Candy, I read your post about losing touch with friends. I would urge you, call her. Don't wait for her to call you. Make a date on your calendar and on that day, take the 'staying in touch' in your own hands. I have learned that when that small voice inside me bubbles someone's name into my mind, I act. It is a sign. It means call. Now. I hope you do that. Yes, it is a risk. It might be tough if friend does not want to pursue a close friendship. But it might be wonderful if she does! My heart hurts for you and hope you make that call!
I have been away for a bit and there was so much posting that I gave up trying to read it all. But I wanted to swing by, say hi and hope you're all hanging in there. Stay well!