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Feb 24, 2021 08:41AM
I just want to explain further my post from yesterday.
I stopped working Dec 2019-- "retired" at the age of 49 due to the cancer. I was doing some volunteer things before Covid. My career was over, but I could still be productive in the volunteer sector. Not in the workforce anymore, I had time to give back by doing things with volunteer organizations. Then Covid hit. I have been isolated in my home since March 2020-- almost 1 year now. I still try to stay somewhat busy--- call church friends, do Zoom gaming with a group once a week, keep up with you all and how you are doing. I even continued a couple of volunteer things per Zoom meetings. But it is not the same.
Yesterday I had one of those volunteer thing meetings per Zoom. We were discussing the vaccine rollout and how after more of our group gets their vaccines we are going to try to get back to doing some activities in person. One thing mentioned was a project we could start which would include visiting people in our local hospital. Yes these volunteers are retirement age so they are "high risk" for Covid. But with summer coming, more getting vaccinated in the community, and maybe less issues with Covid they are willing to start going about their business again. I wanted so much to have a project, something to look forward to, put my energy in again. Something a few hours a week. But..... even without Covid lurking its head, there are other germs out there and I still have cancer and still on treatment that lowers my counts. Should I really be going into a hospital setting and possibly exposing myself to any number of germs. Sitting beside a sick person's hospital bed, touching the bedrails, etc.
I wanted so much to be a part of the group. It sounded interesting and it sounded like I could really help someone. But, do I want to put myself at risk. I am doing good with the cancer-- stable for now. I do not want to take chances with my health.
Yes, I am going to try to find some activities I can do safely. I want to get some sort of life back. But then I think of the fatigue, the nausea at times. Whatever I find to do I need to have flexibility to stop if I get tired. Something I can have flexibility with.
It just hit me yesterday. Cancer took my career, my health, my finances. Now, I cannot even have "retirement" like others. Cannot travel (finances). Cannot do volunteer committees. All I can do is sit in my house alone and take naps when I get to feeling tired and sick.
Thanks for understanding. I know you all understand where no one else can.
Moth- Sorry you are going thru this. I have not been on steroids before, but I heard they can be rough.
SeeQ- MO appt today?
Found mets on CT for unrelated issue. I only had 2 treatments with IV chemo for the Stage II, then found Stage 4 and switched to hormone therapy/targeted therapy. I consider myself de novo. Also using Xgeva injections for bone mets
6/2017, ILC/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
9/2017, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
Femara (letrozole), Zoladex (goserelin)
Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left