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Topic: My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

Forum: Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer, Open to All To Contribute —

Topics here are started by members with a Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer diagnosis, but open to all members to contribute to discussions. Please note that there is a separate forum, Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY, where topics are open only to those members.

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 08:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 12:42PM by Micmel

Micmel wrote:

As I go through this forced path I have been thrown down, I have come to realize the love I have always had for my husband was strong. He is amazing and I love him with my very soul and entire heart. Never would I ever imagine the thought of dying and him being alone. Then the worst part hit me!! I can't seem to shake the horrible sorrow of thinking of another woman taking my place in his life and his heart, and if I Am honest his bed. He is my best friend and the love of my life, I would never need another for any reason. He makes my life complete, and then this happens. How do I process that I most likely won't be the one growing old on the porch that we have talked about, how do I process, someone else sitting in that chair? I hate this trajectory path I've been spun onto, and everyday I feel grief and deep sorrow. How do I live everyday knowing in the back of my mind, I feel like a place holder, for another woman who will be stepping into my life when I die of this horrible disease, more sooner than later. Why would I even want to take any medicines or treatments, when the answer is pretty obviously in front of my face.? Why do we fight so hard for something we cannot control ? Why do we hurt so badly thinking about letting go, or giving up? It's a four letter word that holds so much power. That word is LOVE..... If you have ever felt this way. Share with me, because I understand, I feel this way everyday. I also don't know what to do with the sadness of loss or how to process the process of dying. However slow or fast it may be. Please share your love stories with me, how did you meet? How long together? I want to know your stories, everyone has their person. Everyone loves.....tell me about your family, your friends, your life too, as if this was your living room. ♥️

We are team FU cancer (Named by Parry, our sweet sister) and this is our Lol pub and living room. Welcome, put your feet up and just be you!

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Mar 13, 2021 08:45AM - edited Mar 13, 2021 08:48AM by GoldensRBest

Mae -

Nice ride! I have a 2007 Toyota Highlander Hybrid with almost 150,000 miles. I'm torn between taking it to the grave with me or getting something new. When I drive hubs new Jeep, I love the heated steering wheel, heated seats and back up lens. That's when I say I want something new. My buggy has heated seats but after all those years they're not as efficient. These vehicles are made to last another 100,000 miles or so. I don't think I've put 5000 miles on the car since we moved to Wisconsin in Oct 2019. Hard to justify a new car that sits in the garage! Enjoy all the places you can go.

Mara - you are truly blessed to have such wonderful family members.

Dx 6/1990, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, 1/20 nodes, ER+/PR+ Dx 7/1999, IDC, Right, <1cm Dx 7/26/2019, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/lungs, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Hormonal Therapy 9/1/2019 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 9/25/2019 Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy 1/30/2020 Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Chemotherapy CMF Surgery Mastectomy Surgery Lumpectomy; Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes
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Mar 13, 2021 09:23AM Micmel wrote:

Mara~new microwave, not too shabby. How precious is that she made you a homemade quilt. I love love that stuff. Snuggle warm under it. How sweet...

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Mar 13, 2021 09:26AM Micmel wrote:

Goldens~I am right there with you on the vehicle. I have a 2008 Chrysler mini van. Barely has 103k. I go no where. No payments is also attractive to me. I can’t justify purchasing another either. Mae. I love it. Blue is my favorite color..
Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Mar 13, 2021 10:07AM candy-678 wrote:

Mae- Nice vehicle !!!! Love the color !!!

I have a 2005 Dodge Dakota pickup truck. Had it since 2006. Still a good old truck. Won't be buying anything else unless it gives out.

Found mets on CT for unrelated issue. I only had 2 treatments with IV chemo for the Stage II, then found Stage 4 and switched to hormone therapy/targeted therapy. I consider myself de novo. Xgeva use for bone mets. Liver bx Apr 2021 shows ER- now. Dx 6/2017, ILC/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/11/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 8/1/2017 AC Dx 9/2017, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy 11/1/2017 Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy 11/1/2017 Femara (letrozole), Zoladex (goserelin) Dx 4/2021, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, ER-/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Hormonal Therapy 9/4/2021 Zoladex (goserelin) Targeted Therapy 9/4/2021 Lynparza
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Mar 13, 2021 10:38AM SondraF wrote:

Mae - love your new wheels. It totally suits your personality! :)

Spending today doing crafty things, which means squishing wool into balls and then into egg shapes and dunking things in water. First examples I may need to stuff with catnip and turn into toys (they may pass for alien eggs... maybe) but I got the hang of it by the end and I should have some nice new decorations for the easter tree. Enough YouTube videos and you can do anything.

This morning I was half asleep contemplating getting up to feed the (loudly breathing) cat, when I felt the oddest sensation - almost like part of my primary collapsed. Like the tissue moved. It was a very vivid (not painful) feeling but I wonder if I dreamed it.

"The closer we come to the negative, to death, the more we blossom" - Montgomery Clift Dx 9/27/2019, IDC, Right, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy 11/29/2019 Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy 11/29/2019 Femara (letrozole) Surgery Prophylactic ovary removal
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Mar 13, 2021 10:44AM dutchiris wrote:

I am sorry to show up once again all stressed and am otherwise pretty much silent but I had scans and an onc appt this past Thursday.

The good news I guess is they are calling my bone mets stable.

Now for the not so good news (aka bad news.) There is a mass on my left ovary. An ultrasound originally called it a hemorrhagic cyst. On my last two CT scans it has grown. It is part complex cyst with enhancing septations and has a solid component. The report now says it is concerning for neoplasm. My onc says this is mostly likely not breast cancer related and most likely arising from the ovary. I will now have another ultrasound and see a gyn onc on Tuesday. I am holding my next cycle of Ibrance for possible biospy/surgery.

My onc apologized a few times for having to inform me of this development.


Dx 1/25/2013, IDC, Left, Stage IIIC, Grade 2, 19/24 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/21/2013 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 6/18/2013 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left; Prophylactic mastectomy: Right Hormonal Therapy 7/1/2013 Radiation Therapy 7/14/2013 Dx 7/26/2019, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, ER+/PR-, HER2- (IHC) Hormonal Therapy 8/9/2019 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 8/16/2019 Ibrance (palbociclib) Dx 4/7/2021, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to other, Grade 3, ER-/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Chemotherapy 5/13/2021 Xeloda (capecitabine)
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Mar 13, 2021 11:00AM candy-678 wrote:

Sondra- ?? Your "primary" collapsed?

We do have some weird sensations sometimes.

I am tired of how I feel. Today I got up early and went to the store when they first opened. Needed some items and staying away from crowds still. I was walking around the isles in the store feeling kind of short of breath. Not bad. But just a little. And the hot flashes were coming like crazy. Chilly out today so I had a jacket on. And my back, hips, and pelvis hurts. My knees too. Rainy, damp weather so maybe arthritis or most likely the Letrozole. I got home and sat down on my couch. I felt so tired and was thinking that I have the whole day left before bedtime. I changed my bed sheets today so I have an extra load of laundry to do today too.

I used to get up and go to work. Raring to go. Busy, busy, busy. Now, I just feel like curling up under the covers. My scans will hopefully look good on the 22nd. I hope. But my QOL sucks. I could tell my MO all this, but she seems like the kind of doctor that just discusses the latest scans and doesn't really want to stop and hear all this. Maybe my Palliative Care people? I have an appt with them a couple of days after my MO appt--- so we have the results of the latest scans. Maybe nothing to really do about this. If the cancer is stable, that is the important thing. I just feel so "sick" anymore. I say I want to do volunteer things, and I do, but then I don't because of how I feel physically. I was kind of looking forward to the store today. Look around at some things. But then I feel so cruddy I just wanted to get it over with.

Do any of you feel this way? Or is it just me? I know Mel feels fatigued.

Found mets on CT for unrelated issue. I only had 2 treatments with IV chemo for the Stage II, then found Stage 4 and switched to hormone therapy/targeted therapy. I consider myself de novo. Xgeva use for bone mets. Liver bx Apr 2021 shows ER- now. Dx 6/2017, ILC/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/11/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 8/1/2017 AC Dx 9/2017, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy 11/1/2017 Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy 11/1/2017 Femara (letrozole), Zoladex (goserelin) Dx 4/2021, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, ER-/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Hormonal Therapy 9/4/2021 Zoladex (goserelin) Targeted Therapy 9/4/2021 Lynparza
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Mar 13, 2021 11:04AM candy-678 wrote:

dutchiris- I am so sorry. Pocket duty for sure on Tuesday. Keep us informed.

Found mets on CT for unrelated issue. I only had 2 treatments with IV chemo for the Stage II, then found Stage 4 and switched to hormone therapy/targeted therapy. I consider myself de novo. Xgeva use for bone mets. Liver bx Apr 2021 shows ER- now. Dx 6/2017, ILC/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/11/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 8/1/2017 AC Dx 9/2017, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy 11/1/2017 Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy 11/1/2017 Femara (letrozole), Zoladex (goserelin) Dx 4/2021, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, ER-/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Hormonal Therapy 9/4/2021 Zoladex (goserelin) Targeted Therapy 9/4/2021 Lynparza
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Mar 13, 2021 11:14AM runor wrote:

Mel, great news on the scan. Not just a good scan but a 'beautiful' scan!

Dutchiris - I am sorry about this and don't know how people bear more bad news. Prayers to you.

Mae, nice ride. Love hearing what everyone drives. I drive a 1986 Jimmy that I bought in 1996.  

Hello to everyone else, hope Spring is arriving wherever you are. I can hardly wait to get outside and light shit on fire!

Dx 3/23/2017, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 4/12/2017 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 7/4/2017 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Mar 13, 2021 11:38AM mara51506 wrote:

Dutchiris, I am so sorry to hear about your ovary. Last thing you need is another thing while still dealing with BC. I will be thinking of you.

Candy, totally understand what you are saying about the fatigue and not wanting to get up to do anything. I struggle before my first walk because I am so tired every day, just like a lot of us here. So easy for me to want to sit, but I know if I do that, I will get right into depressive symptoms and have a miserable day and sleep as well. I just eat and go without much thought because if I think about how tired I am, I won't get out the door.


2015 chemos AC plus T Herceptin august 12 2016 craniotomy for brain met Sept 23 whole brain radiation November 2016 Herceptin, Perjeta and Taxol. Dec 2016, Dropped the Taxol due to extreme side effects, continuing Herceptin and Perjeta. Dx 3/15/2015, DCIS, Right, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 4/22/2015 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Right Dx 5/15/2015, IBC, Right, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Dx 7/29/2016, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Mar 13, 2021 12:13PM illimae wrote:

DH put in a throttle accelerator on both our vehicles, we’re testing them out today. My RAV4 had an incredible response, DH calls it the rocket. Turns out the ability to zoom really fast (particularly while passing on the hwy) was desperately missed after only a day, lol

Now I’m heading out for a short walk to see everything this new Fitbit can do. It tracks HR, which I thought would cause me anxiety but so far it hasn’t jumped up for no reason, so I think it’ll be ok.

Wishing everyone a nice weekend

Smile

Diagnosed at 41 Stage IV De Novo Dx 11/16/2016, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ (IHC) Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Chemotherapy 1/2/2017 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 1/2/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Surgery 6/26/2017 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary Radiation Therapy 8/10/2017 Breast, Lymph nodes Dx 10/5/2017, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+, HER2+ (IHC) Radiation Therapy 10/19/2017 External: Brain Radiation Therapy 4/18/2018 External: Brain Radiation Therapy 5/23/2019 External: Brain Surgery 1/22/2020 Radiation Therapy 2/16/2020 External: Brain Radiation Therapy 7/20/2020 External: Bone Radiation Therapy 12/4/2020 External: Brain Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Targeted Therapy Tukysa (tucatinib) Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine)
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Mar 13, 2021 02:05PM Rosie24 wrote:

My new car is a 2021 Honda Civic, white. We already had a mid sized SUV (Mazda CX-5) so I figured I might like something smaller. It felt good in the test drive and should get good gas mileage. I liked being higher on the road in my previous cars and kind of surprised myself with liking the smaller car this time. Mae, enjoy the oomph of the throttle accelerator! Nice looking new car.

Monday’s my MO appointment. I’m wondering if she’s going to hold my Ibrance until after my second shot, which is April 1. I’ve been off since Feb. 8 so if she does hold it longer that’ll be a long break. I’ll do whatever she suggests, just curious what it will be. Vaccine eligibility is at 50 years old and up in Ohio. There are still people in the older groups trying to get theirs, but apparently there is going to be a lot more available now.

Candy, Sorry about your aches and pains at the store. I feel like I’ve really aged sometimes when I get up from the couch. It takes me a while to get moving without hobbling. I do think I sit too much and I know I should lose some weight.

Mel, I hope you notice less fatigue in 100 mg Ibrance. It was better for me, but I still have low counts.

Hello to all!


Dx 1/23/2019, DCIS/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IV, metastasized to liver, Grade 2, ER+/PR-, HER2- (FISH) Hormonal Therapy 1/24/2019 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 1/24/2019 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery 12/3/2019 Lumpectomy: Left Surgery 12/3/2019 Lymph node removal: Sentinel Dx 1/6/2022, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to liver, ER-/PR-, HER2- Radiation Therapy Whole-breast
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Mar 13, 2021 03:36PM candy-678 wrote:

Rosie- Why off Ibrance since Feb 8?

Well 2nd load of laundry in dryer now. I sat down twice today and dozed off. Haha. I just do not understand why I feel like this. The letrozole aches? The Ibrance fatigue? Why short of breath walking around in the store? I didn't used to feel this way. Is it cumulative from being on these meds for over 3 years? Having constant low counts? Or is it something other than the cancer and the cancer meds?

Just frustrating.

Found mets on CT for unrelated issue. I only had 2 treatments with IV chemo for the Stage II, then found Stage 4 and switched to hormone therapy/targeted therapy. I consider myself de novo. Xgeva use for bone mets. Liver bx Apr 2021 shows ER- now. Dx 6/2017, ILC/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/11/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 8/1/2017 AC Dx 9/2017, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy 11/1/2017 Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy 11/1/2017 Femara (letrozole), Zoladex (goserelin) Dx 4/2021, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, ER-/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Hormonal Therapy 9/4/2021 Zoladex (goserelin) Targeted Therapy 9/4/2021 Lynparza
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Mar 13, 2021 04:56PM BevJen wrote:

Candy,

FYI, the last couple of months that I was on I/F, I complained a lot to my MO about feeling lousy, and especially feeling truly exhausted going up steps. I asked her if it was a cumulative effect of the meds (I was only on that combo 18 mos.) She said yes.

I don't know if she was really paying attention to what I was asking, but that was her response.

As my primary care doc says, too, there is also a tiredness that comes from dealing with all of "this." I'm sure that adds to tiredness in general while being treated.

Microwave Ablations,Liver 3x ;Radiation Therapy to Femur (Both) April 2021; total hip replacement (R) and placement of rod (L) to stabilize femur both sides; immunotherapy (single agent - keytruda) Dx 11/2003, ILC, Left, Stage IIIC, 13/18 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 6/2006, ILC, Stage IV, metastasized to other, ER+, HER2- Dx 5/2019, ILC, Stage IV, metastasized to liver, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/5/2019 Targeted Therapy 7/31/2019 Ibrance (palbociclib) Immunotherapy Keytruda (pembrolizumab) Surgery Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Pedicled TRAM flap; Reconstruction (right): Pedicled TRAM flap Chemotherapy TAC Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Surgery Lymph node removal; Mastectomy; Reconstruction (left): Pedicled TRAM flap; Reconstruction (right): Pedicled TRAM flap Hormonal Therapy Faslodex (fulvestrant) Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole) Radiation Therapy
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Mar 13, 2021 05:22PM Rosie24 wrote:

Candy, I was off for two weeks before my ablation because my counts were pretty low at the pre-admission testing. They were actually normal for me being on Ibrance but i think my WBC at 1.9 and neutrophils at 1.0 sent up some flags. I had to retest right before the procedure and wbc was then 3.0 and neutrophils 1.4. I was expecting to restart a week later but MO said to hold off until my appointment on 3/15. She did mention giving me an Ibrance break after the procedure but never said how long. I’m glad I got at least one dose of the vaccine being off. There seem to be many different opinions on whether to hold Ibrance for the vaccine.

Dx 1/23/2019, DCIS/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IV, metastasized to liver, Grade 2, ER+/PR-, HER2- (FISH) Hormonal Therapy 1/24/2019 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 1/24/2019 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery 12/3/2019 Lumpectomy: Left Surgery 12/3/2019 Lymph node removal: Sentinel Dx 1/6/2022, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to liver, ER-/PR-, HER2- Radiation Therapy Whole-breast
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Mar 13, 2021 07:30PM Micmel wrote:

chiris~I'm sorry hear you're having issues. I am sending vibes to you. I know stress from this damn disease is enough to put us in the crazy bin. Be safe.

Rosie~my onc told me to get the covid vaccine, did not mention stopping ibrance for it. I didn't think to ask. But he didn't seem concerned. But my counts don't run low. Maybe that is why he didn't mention it to me. I'm afraid to get it. I don't want to feel sicker than I already do.

I'm so sick of feelings. So sick of peoples feelings. Someone today told me they didn't think I took other people's feelings into account enough about how my cancer effects them daily as well. I wasn't sure what to say. I'm living with stage four cancer. What can I say? I feel how I feel. I am not all filled with joy and jovial and smiling ear to ear. I'm miserable and sick. Stable or not my body has been through absolute hell. I've had enough fighting with side effects and feeling like I have the permanent flu. Sometimes they don't have a clue how we feel. Ugh! People make me confused sometimes.

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Mar 13, 2021 09:18PM mara51506 wrote:

Mel, all I can say is what the heck are they talking about. You think about others all the time and I am sure you take people's feelings into consideration judging by how you think of all of us. I hope you did not take that to heart and I don't think you should try to make sense of it.


2015 chemos AC plus T Herceptin august 12 2016 craniotomy for brain met Sept 23 whole brain radiation November 2016 Herceptin, Perjeta and Taxol. Dec 2016, Dropped the Taxol due to extreme side effects, continuing Herceptin and Perjeta. Dx 3/15/2015, DCIS, Right, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 4/22/2015 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Right Dx 5/15/2015, IBC, Right, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Dx 7/29/2016, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Mar 14, 2021 11:41AM Micmel wrote:

Mara~oh well maybe they were having bad moment. I am extremely close to this person so it was like woah. I’m hoping that my feelings mellow out because it hurt my feelings. I can’t help if I worry about a condition. I am not the same person I was. I’m sorry about that. I guess I’ll try to be more open minded about this just in case I can’t see outside my box. I don’t want to be close minded. I hope you’re doing good this afternoon (almost) day light savings time here today...
Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Mar 14, 2021 01:24PM dutchiris wrote:

My anxiety is so high mostly regarding how this will impact my loved ones and my 5 yo granddaughter who thinks I'm the greatest.

I am on call for work and watching my granddaughter now. My stomach is queasy and I am so tired

Dx 1/25/2013, IDC, Left, Stage IIIC, Grade 2, 19/24 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/21/2013 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 6/18/2013 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left; Prophylactic mastectomy: Right Hormonal Therapy 7/1/2013 Radiation Therapy 7/14/2013 Dx 7/26/2019, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, ER+/PR-, HER2- (IHC) Hormonal Therapy 8/9/2019 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 8/16/2019 Ibrance (palbociclib) Dx 4/7/2021, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to other, Grade 3, ER-/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Chemotherapy 5/13/2021 Xeloda (capecitabine)
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Mar 14, 2021 01:31PM candy-678 wrote:

dutchiris- Prayers for you right now.

Found mets on CT for unrelated issue. I only had 2 treatments with IV chemo for the Stage II, then found Stage 4 and switched to hormone therapy/targeted therapy. I consider myself de novo. Xgeva use for bone mets. Liver bx Apr 2021 shows ER- now. Dx 6/2017, ILC/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/11/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 8/1/2017 AC Dx 9/2017, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy 11/1/2017 Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy 11/1/2017 Femara (letrozole), Zoladex (goserelin) Dx 4/2021, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, ER-/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Hormonal Therapy 9/4/2021 Zoladex (goserelin) Targeted Therapy 9/4/2021 Lynparza
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Mar 14, 2021 02:10PM BevJen wrote:

Dutchris,

I just looked back at your last message and It says you are seeing a gynecological oncologist on Tuesday. Please try to stay calm until you have that appointment. I have seen a gyn onc for years. They really know their stuff. I think you will have a clearer picture after that.

Thinking good thoughts for you.

Microwave Ablations,Liver 3x ;Radiation Therapy to Femur (Both) April 2021; total hip replacement (R) and placement of rod (L) to stabilize femur both sides; immunotherapy (single agent - keytruda) Dx 11/2003, ILC, Left, Stage IIIC, 13/18 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 6/2006, ILC, Stage IV, metastasized to other, ER+, HER2- Dx 5/2019, ILC, Stage IV, metastasized to liver, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/5/2019 Targeted Therapy 7/31/2019 Ibrance (palbociclib) Immunotherapy Keytruda (pembrolizumab) Surgery Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Pedicled TRAM flap; Reconstruction (right): Pedicled TRAM flap Chemotherapy TAC Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Surgery Lymph node removal; Mastectomy; Reconstruction (left): Pedicled TRAM flap; Reconstruction (right): Pedicled TRAM flap Hormonal Therapy Faslodex (fulvestrant) Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole) Radiation Therapy
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Mar 14, 2021 02:31PM mara51506 wrote:

Dutchiris, i agree with BevJen, try to go day by day. Hard to wait for information on what they found. I would do your best to wait until you have further information, enjoy the granddaughter and maybe take yourself off the on call list for work. If work would serve as a good distraction, then go to work if they call. Watch movies, go for a walk or a drive as a family if that is an option. The not knowing is definitely hard and the mind usually likes to go in circles of what if and that is too stressful for you. Anything to take thoughts off of what is going on. Put youtube on when it is quiet and listen to a calming meditation and that may help too.

I will stop throwing out the suggestions because ultimately, I am sure you have tried different things to be a little less stressed until Tuesday. I will be in your pocket on Tuesday for you appointment.

2015 chemos AC plus T Herceptin august 12 2016 craniotomy for brain met Sept 23 whole brain radiation November 2016 Herceptin, Perjeta and Taxol. Dec 2016, Dropped the Taxol due to extreme side effects, continuing Herceptin and Perjeta. Dx 3/15/2015, DCIS, Right, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 4/22/2015 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Right Dx 5/15/2015, IBC, Right, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Dx 7/29/2016, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Mar 14, 2021 02:51PM mara51506 wrote:

Well, hanging up the sneakers after 10000 steps. I wanted more but really do not wish to walk for a fourth time today. Darned my socks as well as I have managed to wear holes in my favourite pair, I enjoy darning for some reason so my socks will still be bright white BUT the bottoms are different colour thread as these socks are only worn at home, have better socks for going out. I also don't have white thread at the moment.

2015 chemos AC plus T Herceptin august 12 2016 craniotomy for brain met Sept 23 whole brain radiation November 2016 Herceptin, Perjeta and Taxol. Dec 2016, Dropped the Taxol due to extreme side effects, continuing Herceptin and Perjeta. Dx 3/15/2015, DCIS, Right, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 4/22/2015 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Right Dx 5/15/2015, IBC, Right, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Dx 7/29/2016, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Mar 14, 2021 04:01PM candy-678 wrote:

Hello all.

I should have tried walking on the treadmill today. Sigh. Mara's activity makes me feel I should do more exercising. Last night I had pain in my left hip while sleeping. I was laying on that side and awoke with throbbing. Was pretty sore this morning for a quite a while.

I did call a couple of friends this afternoon and visited by phone. Church online service this morning.

Found mets on CT for unrelated issue. I only had 2 treatments with IV chemo for the Stage II, then found Stage 4 and switched to hormone therapy/targeted therapy. I consider myself de novo. Xgeva use for bone mets. Liver bx Apr 2021 shows ER- now. Dx 6/2017, ILC/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/11/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 8/1/2017 AC Dx 9/2017, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy 11/1/2017 Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy 11/1/2017 Femara (letrozole), Zoladex (goserelin) Dx 4/2021, ILC/IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, ER-/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Hormonal Therapy 9/4/2021 Zoladex (goserelin) Targeted Therapy 9/4/2021 Lynparza
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Mar 14, 2021 04:15PM mara51506 wrote:

Candy, I am sorry to hear about the hip pain, pain at night really stinks when we are trying to rest. Hope it goes away soon for you. Glad you could phone your friends and go to online church. Good for you, very productive day. As far as the exercise, I will tell you, it is still hard for me to get myself going on the first walk. I don't get up and do it automatically, I have to really tell myself to get moving. Once I have done the first one, it is pretty easy to add the others. Don't try to do the amount I am doing either. Start small, if the weather is nice, a couple of five minute walks would suffice, build gradually. If you can be outside walking, that is easier than trying to hop on the treadmill. The outdoor walking is just much less boring than the treadmill.

2015 chemos AC plus T Herceptin august 12 2016 craniotomy for brain met Sept 23 whole brain radiation November 2016 Herceptin, Perjeta and Taxol. Dec 2016, Dropped the Taxol due to extreme side effects, continuing Herceptin and Perjeta. Dx 3/15/2015, DCIS, Right, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 4/22/2015 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Right Dx 5/15/2015, IBC, Right, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Dx 7/29/2016, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Mar 14, 2021 04:40PM dutchiris wrote:

Thank you all. I am anxious and also tired. I took a lorazapam and managed to nap.

BevJen...I am trying to stay calm. I know all this worrying changes nothing. Why do you see a gyn onc?

Dx 1/25/2013, IDC, Left, Stage IIIC, Grade 2, 19/24 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/21/2013 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 6/18/2013 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left; Prophylactic mastectomy: Right Hormonal Therapy 7/1/2013 Radiation Therapy 7/14/2013 Dx 7/26/2019, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, ER+/PR-, HER2- (IHC) Hormonal Therapy 8/9/2019 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 8/16/2019 Ibrance (palbociclib) Dx 4/7/2021, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to other, Grade 3, ER-/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Chemotherapy 5/13/2021 Xeloda (capecitabine)
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Mar 14, 2021 04:48PM BevJen wrote:

Dutchiris,

I was originally diagnosed in 2003 with ILC. In 2006, during a routine gyn exam, my gyn found a small polyp on my cervix that fell off when she touched it, so she biopsied it. It was a repeat of my ILC with same characteristics -- literally, there was a small area of ILC at the very tip. So my MO thought I should immediately go and be evaluated by a gyn oncologist. I did some screening tests, and nothing else showed up. However, because of the polyp, he recommended doing a complete hysterectomy -- everything came out (it was done laparoscopically). Nothing showed up on the pathology. Because of my MO's insistence that I continue seeing the gyn onc because "they are the best at identifying anything going on" with respect to anything gynecological, I've continued to see him once per year. Also, with ILC, it can go to places that IDC normally doesn't.

I will say that he's one of the most thorough docs who I've ever seen. He calls himself an "uncommon" oncologist.

Microwave Ablations,Liver 3x ;Radiation Therapy to Femur (Both) April 2021; total hip replacement (R) and placement of rod (L) to stabilize femur both sides; immunotherapy (single agent - keytruda) Dx 11/2003, ILC, Left, Stage IIIC, 13/18 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 6/2006, ILC, Stage IV, metastasized to other, ER+, HER2- Dx 5/2019, ILC, Stage IV, metastasized to liver, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 7/5/2019 Targeted Therapy 7/31/2019 Ibrance (palbociclib) Immunotherapy Keytruda (pembrolizumab) Surgery Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Pedicled TRAM flap; Reconstruction (right): Pedicled TRAM flap Chemotherapy TAC Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Surgery Lymph node removal; Mastectomy; Reconstruction (left): Pedicled TRAM flap; Reconstruction (right): Pedicled TRAM flap Hormonal Therapy Faslodex (fulvestrant) Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole) Radiation Therapy
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Mar 14, 2021 06:54PM emac877 wrote:

Wow, I miss so much even being gone a few days! I was excited to hear you are stable Mel! I have been too. My first year milestone with stage IV was in January and, knock on wood, everything is still stable. I'm early in the journey though and still working through the upheaval to my life that all of this entails. I'm really struggling at work. I'm in healthcare. After my last two shifts this morning I couldn't hardly get out of bed. I ended up going straight to the bathtub with leg and back pain so bad I was queasy. Have spent most of the day with a heating pad on my back in between trying to get some laundry done. I don't cry over pain much but I cry a lot when I'm frustrated and that's where I'm at today. Just missing my old body and the way it used to work. That's futile I know and I try not to wallow there. Working on how to reinvent myself. I need to work. I'm single and at 43 can't afford to retire. I need my insurance and my paycheck. Candy - I really empathize what you've gone through with the insurance thing. I am sticking it out in my job as long as I can because the cost of these treatments are staggering. I still get the Xgeva monthly but hopefully it will space out soon.

Bought tickets the other day to go see my extended family in Arizona at the end of May. I'm super excited about that. I'm taking my folks with me. They are getting older and with my diagnoses I just want to prioritize time together. The three of us are fully vaccinated so I feel safe going. We've had a nice false spring in Southern Oregon but this week we are due for more rain and chilly temperatures. I'm looking forward to some warmer weather and sunshine. Hope all is well. I will try to be better about keeping tabs on this page. We are a busy group!

Dx 2/8/2018, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 3/22/2018 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary Chemotherapy 6/7/2018 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 8/26/2018 Whole-breast: Breast, Chest wall Dx 12/4/2019, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone Radiation Therapy 12/22/2019 External: Bone Surgery 12/31/2019 Hormonal Therapy 1/6/2020 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Targeted Therapy 1/6/2020 Verzenio Hormonal Therapy 12/9/2020 Aromasin (exemestane) Hormonal Therapy 6/23/2021 Faslodex (fulvestrant)
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Mar 14, 2021 07:10PM mara51506 wrote:

Emac, glad to hear you can travel after having your vaccination.


2015 chemos AC plus T Herceptin august 12 2016 craniotomy for brain met Sept 23 whole brain radiation November 2016 Herceptin, Perjeta and Taxol. Dec 2016, Dropped the Taxol due to extreme side effects, continuing Herceptin and Perjeta. Dx 3/15/2015, DCIS, Right, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 4/22/2015 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Right Dx 5/15/2015, IBC, Right, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Dx 7/29/2016, IBC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Mar 14, 2021 07:16PM Karenfizedbo15 wrote:

Bearing in mind everyone’s not so great stuff... including my own.... this changing the car thing and the expense involved has really been on my mind. I told my MO at our last appt that 3 years ago when diagnosed as MBC I wasn’t sure about buying a new winter coat. I bought a new winter coat.

Now I need a new car, so how do I square thousands of pounds output to do that when I might only live for a short time? My heart says just do it and the head says don’t be so bloody stupid!

Surgery 9/6/2007 Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): Latissimus dorsi flap Dx 4/2018, IDC, Right, Stage IV, metastasized to lungs, 1/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Dx 2021, Stage IV, metastasized to bone Chemotherapy 2/3/2021 Xeloda (capecitabine) Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy Faslodex (fulvestrant) Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole)

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