Topic: My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

Forum: Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer, Open to All To Contribute — Topics here are started by members with a Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer diagnosis, but open to all members to contribute to discussions. Please note that there is a separate forum, Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY, where topics are open only to those members.

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 08:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 12:42PM by micmel

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 08:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 12:42PM by micmel

micmel wrote:

As I go through this forced path I have been thrown down, I have come to realize the love I have always had for my husband was strong. He is amazing and I love him with my very soul and entire heart. Never would I ever imagine the thought of dying and him being alone. Then the worst part hit me!! I can't seem to shake the horrible sorrow of thinking of another woman taking my place in his life and his heart, and if I Am honest his bed. He is my best friend and the love of my life, I would never need another for any reason. He makes my life complete, and then this happens. How do I process that I most likely won't be the one growing old on the porch that we have talked about, how do I process, someone else sitting in that chair? I hate this trajectory path I've been spun onto, and everyday I feel grief and deep sorrow. How do I live everyday knowing in the back of my mind, I feel like a place holder, for another woman who will be stepping into my life when I die of this horrible disease, more sooner than later. Why would I even want to take any medicines or treatments, when the answer is pretty obviously in front of my face.? Why do we fight so hard for something we cannot control ? Why do we hurt so badly thinking about letting go, or giving up? It's a four letter word that holds so much power. That word is LOVE..... If you have ever felt this way. Share with me, because I understand, I feel this way everyday. I also don't know what to do with the sadness of loss or how to process the process of dying. However slow or fast it may be. Please share your love stories with me, how did you meet? How long together? I want to know your stories, everyone has their person. Everyone loves.....tell me about your family, your friends, your life too, as if this was your living room. ♥️

We are team FU cancer (Named by Parry, our sweet sister) and this is our Lol pub and living room. Welcome, put your feet up and just be you!

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Feb 1, 2019 10:01PM micmel wrote:

Donna~Welcome to our little slice of home. Pull up stool and make yourself at home. We hope you have big pockets because we usually all jump in and tag along to scans and bloodwork and tests for the support it brings. We are known as team FU Cancer. Parry actually named our team. We like to be a loving caring family and we are so glad, should you decide to become apart of it. I am sending all my good thoughts and feelings your way for sure. Will be with you on Monday!

Parry. Love you darling. There is something that willwork!! They better find that like yesterday !! Hugs beautiful lady!!

Much love ~M~

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Feb 1, 2019 10:02PM illimae wrote:

Welcome Donnabelle, I hope you’ve got big pockets cause we’ll be in there during your PET, snacking and chatting.

Parry, thinking of you and hoping for a quick recovery. I had allergies turn into a sinus infection a couple months ago and it was horrible, really brought me down mentally and made everything so much more difficult.

Big hugs all around ladies and Daniel

Diagnosed at 41 Stage IV De Novo Dx 11/16/2016, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ Chemotherapy 1/2/2017 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 1/2/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 1/2/2017 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Surgery 6/26/2017 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy 8/10/2017 Breast, Lymph nodes Dx 10/5/2017, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 10/20/2017 External Local Metastases 10/20/2017 Brain Radiation Therapy 4/18/2018 External Local Metastases 4/18/2018 Brain Radiation Therapy 5/23/2019 External Local Metastases 5/23/2019 Brain Surgery 1/22/2020 Radiation Therapy 2/17/2020 External Local Metastases 2/17/2020 Brain Radiation Therapy 7/20/2020 External Local Metastases 7/20/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Radiation Therapy 12/4/2020 External Local Metastases 12/4/2020 Brain Targeted Therapy Tukysa (tucatinib) Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Feb 1, 2019 10:45PM Artista964 wrote:

yay Micmel! Glad it worked out and quickly!

🙏🏻❤

Dxd at 50. Went thru it all on my own by choice. Dx 6/2/2015, IDC, Left, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 1/4 nodes, PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/6/2015 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant Chemotherapy 11/3/2015 AC + T (Taxotere) Radiation Therapy 5/4/2016 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 6/28/2016 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Feb 2, 2019 12:50AM runor wrote:

Micmel, I got goose bumps reading about your dad. The world works in mysterious ways.

Donnabelle, you will find plenty of support here from others who know the ropes. Sad that anyone has to experience any of this but grateful for those so willing to share.

Everyone else, I read often. Hugs to all.

Dx 3/23/2017, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 4/12/2017 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy 7/5/2017 Whole breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Feb 2, 2019 07:53AM - edited Feb 2, 2019 07:58AM by skitzblitz

Donna-welcome To the thread, you will get a lot of info from many great minds here.

I have stubborn liver mets and blew through two treatments pretty fast. I could feel my liver as well, but I am thin. I started ac (red devil) chemo and have done five rounds so far. It took four treatments of ac before I could tell my liver wasn't as hard and pronounced. My liver was pretty full and the mets are dying off but still need more.

You still have a good amount of treatments to try yet and trials are also good to look for. It's hard not to worry, we all do. Best of luck on the scan!

Check out the “how are people with liver mets doing” thread as well. I follow that one and lots of good info there too

Micmel - you go girl! Glad you used all your power to move your dad near you!! You will be glad that you had this time together. I do believe everything Happens for a reason.

Sarah

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Feb 2, 2019 10:58AM tanya_djamila wrote:

welcome Donna

Sorry you have to be here but glad we’re here for each other. On days when no one Knows what to say in the non cancer world someone will listen and carry you through. Fear and anxiety are a part of all of this too but our team will help you through that as well.

I also go on the thread ibrance there are a few women there who have had several treatments and are amazing scientists doctors I don’t know. (Cureious, gumdoctor, patMGC). Go there and ask about your current and possible upcoming treatments.

Micmel 4 miles away!!! Wonderful work my dear.

Parry I hope that cold let’s up soon. What are you taking for it? Let me guess everything. I usually load up with vit c and also take that vicam which is loaded with zinc. I think naturally you can find zinc in kiwis. I also eat garlic raw until I’m not fun to be around. I slice it up on my popcorn with butter. Tea honey lemons. Soups. Did I leave anything out ladies? Take care and get well soon Parry

Have a good weekend all

Tanya Dx 8/19/2003, ILC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, metastasized to bone/other, 28/28 nodes, ER+, HER2- Dx 4/19/2017, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/other, 0/0 nodes, ER+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 6/20/2017 Faslodex (fulvestrant)
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Feb 2, 2019 12:33PM JoE777 wrote:

Illimae, apologizing for misspelling your name when recommending you to a new girl. Couldn't scroll much that day because of motion sickness. Hope she found you.

Loving the THE BIG POCKETS. I start radiation at 1:00 Monday to knock down some stubborn mets in my lower back. I felt pretty good until two days ago and all of a sudden my right hip hurts enough to start the hydrchodone again and grab the cane.

Hoping I get the quick relief like I did this time last year. The first shot hit the sweet spot and I could lift my leg to walk and it crushed the pain.

Hope you girls in the frigid parts are warm and no one floods in the big thaw.

Here in the south Houston area it is drab and damp but I think I'll stand out on the front porch and breathe some slightly polluted air and enjoy my pansies. Hugs to all especially our new girls. Hoping we can lift you up on your down days. J

Dx 2/2012, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIA, metastasized to bone, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 4/4/2012 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Hormonal Therapy 1/8/2018 Femara (letrozole) Dx 2/2018, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/lungs, Grade 1, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy Aromasin (exemestane), Femara (letrozole) Radiation Therapy Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Chemotherapy Other Radiation Therapy External: Bone Targeted Therapy Kisqali
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Feb 2, 2019 12:35PM GracieM2007 wrote:

Hi everyone!!! Sorry I haven't been posting much, just too much right now!

Micmel, I can't imagine how high your stress levels must be, but am so glad you got your Dad moved to a closer place! Can't help but think that is going to help both of you a lot!!! Hugs!!!

Donna, this is a great group, welcome!!!


dx 4/11/2007, rt. mast 4/27/2007, 1.7cm IDC, stage 2, Grade 3, 1.4cm tumor in one node,, ER/PR+, Her2-, 4 DD AC, 4 DD T, Arimidex/ 2016 mets to bone, extensive. Femera, Xgeva. 1/18 Faslodex, Ibrance. July 2018, Abraxane.
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Feb 2, 2019 01:33PM Donnabelle wrote:

Thank you sweet ladies for the warm welcome. It helps to know that there are others out there going through similar challenges. It's not always easy to talk with friends about cancer, and I don't want to be thought of as only having one note that I can sing (and it's all about treatment and chemo and fatigue)....you get the picture. So I never bring it up, and try to answer briefly when asked. As for family, I tend to gloss over things, especially with the DS and DD, because I don't want them to spend their days worrying. Of course, DH gets the brunt of it, but he is eternally optimistic and that helps me.

I will be comforted knowing that you all will be in my (extra-large) pocket on Monday for the PET scan and Tuesday for the MO appt. Since my pocket is hosting, I will provide chocolate covered strawberries and champagne, lol! Enjoy!

Micmel, I am so happy to hear that your father will be close by. It will help both of you immeasurably, I am sure of that. And your strength in advocating for him is so impressive. Thanks for welcoming me in.

JoE777, my PET is at 10am, so I will be ready to jump into your pocket by 1pm. I'll even bring a little left over radiation along with me!

Gracie, Tanya, Skitz, runor, Parry and mae, thank you for your welcome and advice.

Let's all have a good weekend, and although I live in CA now, I grew up in New England, so I just have to say......GO PATS!!!

Donna

Dx 3/13/2013, IDC, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 4/10/2013 Mastectomy: Right Chemotherapy 5/6/2013 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Hormonal Therapy 9/15/2013 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Dx 10/13/2017, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver/lungs, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 10/28/2017 Taxol (paclitaxel) Hormonal Therapy 1/5/2018 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Targeted Therapy 1/9/2018 Verzenio Chemotherapy 6/2/2018 Xeloda (capecitabine) Targeted Therapy 11/8/2018 Afinitor (everolimus) Chemotherapy 11/9/2018 Carboplatin (Paraplatin) Chemotherapy 3/29/2019 AC Chemotherapy 8/20/2019 Halaven (eribulin)
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Feb 2, 2019 02:10PM micmel wrote:

Gracie~Hello darling. I'm sorry everything is too much. I have so many days like that lately my head won't stop spinning. This stress for me. Is really awful. Dealing with my step monster is like playing Russian roulette, you don't know when that gun will go off. I'm pacing myself. He's pretty alert. I believe he has a while to go. Who knows though if he will ever even go home again. Now my mother Is also in my ear about coming back to my area as well. Like uh no! What in the world Is happening here ? I don't want any type of control by any means. I just want to be able To know where he is and visit with no issues or drama.

Everyone else works all day. I can visit at will. Daily. I can come and go. As i please and weather also won't be an issue. 4 miles is 4 miles after all. It's better for me in the long run. I just dont travel well these days......I can nap still. He does a lot of napping. It just seems better for him. Although I don't want all the calls and stress this comes with. Talk about lap drop ! 😞🤯🥺

Joe777~ Hi there darling. I'm gonna jump in the pocket for Monday so beeee ready! We snack a lot and sorry for the crumbs. Also, sorry about the noise. Mae, and Runor have me laughing always!

Tanya~ Hello.. beautiful lady! How is your weather. Sooo jealous I am. Would love a stroll on a beach somewhere. This cold sucks... my cancer bones hate it so much! Always nice to see you here!

Runor~It is an odd turn of events. But it makes me furious that no one listens to me. And then what I d been mentioning for weeks ended up happening. They had said no beds were open in any facility! I wanted THIS facility. So I called the people I know within my hospital group. With which he was finally transferred over to the same hospital as I now. Meant.... my sweet nurse friend from palliative care made it happen. I knew the room number before they did. Shout out to Leslie and Daniel!

Much love ladies!

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)

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