Topic: My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

Forum: Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer, Open to All To Contribute — Topics here are started by members with a Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer diagnosis, but open to all members to contribute to discussions. Please note that there is a separate forum, Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY, where topics are open only to those members.

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 08:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 12:42PM by micmel

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 08:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 12:42PM by micmel

micmel wrote:

As I go through this forced path I have been thrown down, I have come to realize the love I have always had for my husband was strong. He is amazing and I love him with my very soul and entire heart. Never would I ever imagine the thought of dying and him being alone. Then the worst part hit me!! I can't seem to shake the horrible sorrow of thinking of another woman taking my place in his life and his heart, and if I Am honest his bed. He is my best friend and the love of my life, I would never need another for any reason. He makes my life complete, and then this happens. How do I process that I most likely won't be the one growing old on the porch that we have talked about, how do I process, someone else sitting in that chair? I hate this trajectory path I've been spun onto, and everyday I feel grief and deep sorrow. How do I live everyday knowing in the back of my mind, I feel like a place holder, for another woman who will be stepping into my life when I die of this horrible disease, more sooner than later. Why would I even want to take any medicines or treatments, when the answer is pretty obviously in front of my face.? Why do we fight so hard for something we cannot control ? Why do we hurt so badly thinking about letting go, or giving up? It's a four letter word that holds so much power. That word is LOVE..... If you have ever felt this way. Share with me, because I understand, I feel this way everyday. I also don't know what to do with the sadness of loss or how to process the process of dying. However slow or fast it may be. Please share your love stories with me, how did you meet? How long together? I want to know your stories, everyone has their person. Everyone loves.....tell me about your family, your friends, your life too, as if this was your living room. ♥️

We are team FU cancer (Named by Parry, our sweet sister) and this is our Lol pub and living room. Welcome, put your feet up and just be you!

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
Log in to post a reply

Page 804 of 2,753 (27,523 results)

Log in to post a reply

Mar 5, 2019 02:53PM MJHJAN1014 wrote:

Somedays you're the windshield, and some days you're the bug......

A silly expression but how I felt after reading everyone's posts.

Grannax-love the remodels but so frightening to read of your reaction to the epoxy. Sad to hear of you enduring a "family emotional mess", if only we could escape the pain of family matters, especially with flipping MBC diagnoses. Hope Xeloda is treating you kindly.

Parry-this disease is such stealer of happiness and dreams. We work so hard to stay upbeat and functional, but it can be so draining. I hate that you are in hard place right now and I want to wave a magic wand over you and all the rest of us.

Daniel and Leslie-thinking of you. What a scary thing to have happen. I hope things are settling down and that the findings are not very scary.

Broken about Z, Scwilly, and others that are currently in deep yogurt......( a dear friend of mine who was tragically killed in an auto accident used to say this as opposed to "deep sh***, I always loved it!

Micmel-hang in there with your Dad. You know this, but you will never regret what you are doing for him. You deserve this time with him, no matter how bittersweet.

Donnabelle-losing your precious child; what an unfathomable loss....to live with the heartache must be so difficult. I pray that you will rise up from this so understandable anniversary darkness to feel some sense of peace.

I received bad news today from my PET scan. I knew that the liver mets had progressed from my recent MRI, but now I have mets in my spleen, adrenal glands, one lymph node in my chest, and new lesions in spine and right humerus. Oh joy. I didn't even know that MBC could even go to some of these organs. It's like "who let the dogs out?" (we're talking mean, rabid, junkyard dogs). Had echocardiogram this AM and see MO on Thursday. So I say, "bring on the flipping Doxil ASAP-whatever it takes, I will ride out to meet it" This disease is just really ticking me off right now.

Sending love and sincere hopes for peace and wellness to all....love Mary Jane

Dx 1/10/2014, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 1/30/2014 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Radiation Therapy 2/10/2014 Breast Chemotherapy 3/5/2014 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Dx 6/10/2016, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 11/15/2017 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Chemotherapy 3/22/2018 Xeloda (capecitabine) Dx 3/7/2019, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to other, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 3/8/2019 Doxil (doxorubicin) Chemotherapy 8/21/2019 Taxol (paclitaxel) Chemotherapy 2/27/2020 Halaven (eribulin) Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole)
Log in to post a reply

Mar 5, 2019 03:09PM ABeautifulSunset wrote:

Mary Jane, I like your expressions....all of them. Stealer of happiness and dreams is so fitting.I'm sorry about your latest scan. I think a hard hitting chemo might be just the ticket for you. It looks like you haven't done that in a while. I think we are all feeling a little dejected this week. Maybe tomorrow we can be the windshield.

Wishing the best for all of us.

BeautifulSunset

“Sunsets are proof that endings can be beautiful too.” Radiation Therapy External: Breast, Chest wall, Bone Chemotherapy TAC Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Mastectomy; Reconstruction (left): Fat grafting, Silicone implant, Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Fat grafting, Silicone implant, Tissue expander placement Hormonal Therapy Aromasin (exemestane), Faslodex (fulvestrant), Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy Afinitor (everolimus) Targeted Therapy Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Chemotherapy Doxil (doxorubicin) Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Targeted Therapy Targeted Therapy Afinitor (everolimus) Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Chemotherapy Gemzar (gemcitabine)
Log in to post a reply

Mar 5, 2019 04:23PM 50sgirl wrote:

Mary Jane, oh drat! I am sorry that your PET scan yielded such unexpected and unpleasant results. Bring on the flipping Doxil, indeed! I hope that treatment begins soon. Sometimes chemo is exactly what is needed, and it sounds like this is the right time. As you know, I wasn't happy to start taxol last month, but I am feeling great and am glad that there were such options available to me. Now it is driving me crazy to have to wait to find out if it's working. I know you will feel better and more empowered once you are back on treatment. You have a full and active life, and I know you will slide right back into the swing of things. Ugh, I just remembered that your dh is away for the month. How is he taking the news? I am sure he wishes he were there supporting you and hugging you. I am sending you a virtual hug, too. I know you have close friends and family, and I hope you are using them to lean on. I wish I had some magic words that would make things better, but alas, words just can't be found right now. Thoughts, however, thoughts are rushing through by brain - thoughts of hope, of possibilities, of that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. I think we all deserve those things. Too much bad news lately. I have not heard from Lynne. I pray she has found some release from the terrible pain.

Grannax, Your remodel is beautiful. It must be nice to have real indoor plumbing again. Hahaha. Don't beat yourself up thinking you have been treating your family with less than perfect behavior. This disease causes so much stress for all of us. Your MO certainly makes things more difficult for you. Take it from someone who has an MO who makes me feel respected and my thoughts and opinions valuable, it makes a huge difference. You have been much more patient with your MO's attitude than I could be. Once you find the right MO, your stress level will come down a bit. Share your thoughts with your family and make sure they understand the impact that a new, more qualified MO will make.

Donnabelle, I am sorry this is such a difficult time for you. The loss of a child at any age seems unnatural and is tragic. The pain will eventually fade a bit, but the sadness of such a loss can never be erased. A few years is not enough time to heal. Allow yourself this time to grieve as your remember the good memories you once shared.

Daniel, I was hoping that things were going well for you and Leslie. I am sorry for the latest setback. I hope you are able to give us an update soon.

Tanya, Thank you for posting pictures from Hawaii. You and your mother look happy and beautiful. I love seeing those palm trees in the background. If I look out my window, I see snow not green grass and palm trees!

Micmel, I am glad your blood tests and MO visit went well. TM of 23, wow. That is great. Mine has never been below 154, and most recently were 2900. I think taxol will help to bring them back down.

Beautiful Sunset, it is so nice to see you here. Thank you for asking how I am doing. I had my fourth taxol infusion yesterday. I have no serious SEs. I am almost completely bald, but that is a small price to pay if this poison is killing cancer cells. My blood counts are down, but not low enough yet to have to skip treatment. So I am on my 5th treatment in a bit less than 4 years. I am hoping this one is working. How are you doing? I know you have been discouraged because you fear that your options are limited. How are you doing on you latest treatment? Is is gemzar or something else? Are you suffering from any severe SEs? I think about you often.

Hello Blueshine,I have missed you.

Hugs and prayers to all from, Lynne


Dx 6/5/2015, ILC/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 6/10/2015 Arimidex (anastrozole) Dx 8/9/2016, ILC/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver/other, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 8/10/2016 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Targeted Therapy 8/31/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Hormonal Therapy 7/3/2018 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Chemotherapy 10/2/2018 Xeloda (capecitabine) Chemotherapy 2/11/2019 Taxol (paclitaxel) Hormonal Therapy 11/12/2019 Aromasin (exemestane) Targeted Therapy 11/13/2019 Afinitor (everolimus) Hormonal Therapy 12/27/2019 Femara (letrozole) Chemotherapy 3/8/2020 Adriamycin (doxorubicin) Targeted Therapy 2/6/2021 Verzenio Chemotherapy 4/13/2021 Halaven (eribulin) Chemotherapy 9/30/2021 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Methotrexate (Amethopterin, Mexate, Folex) Chemotherapy 2/11/2022 translation missing: en.treatments.chemotherapy.chemotherapy_regimen.options.short_drugs.epithilone.ixempra
Log in to post a reply

Mar 5, 2019 05:15PM micmel wrote:

MJH~I have never even heard of some of those places. Those dogs had better be put right back! Like Now! I don’t understand why we would ever have to go through such things. I can’t wrap my head about the word progression. No less have some of the closest people going through it right now. You’re amazing and your activities prove it. Dive deep into being a grandma, as you always do and know it only takes one medicine to knock it back to stable. I am wanting that for us all. All!

Beautiful~So nice that you know our sweet Lynne50’s...she is the calm that reduces any storm around here. She helps us weather our storms. I am so glad to see you here. I love the support we share with each other. It’s like Parry said. Team FU!!!!!

Lynne(50’s)~Hello darling. Always nice to see your beautiful self here and am glad to her taxol is kicking some cancer read end. You really really deserve the best my sweet friend. Missed you !

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
Log in to post a reply

Mar 5, 2019 06:02PM Minnie31 wrote:

Dx 10/20/2016, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, HER2+
Log in to post a reply

Mar 5, 2019 06:04PM Minnie31 wrote:

This came up on my FB today from a Cancer Warrior, just thought I would share it with you

Dx 10/20/2016, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, HER2+
Log in to post a reply

Mar 5, 2019 06:13PM micmel wrote:

true statement !

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
Log in to post a reply

Mar 5, 2019 06:20PM micmel wrote:

Dear Ladies~And Daniel...Husband 11 also! I want you to know that this place is important to me. You all as individuals mean something to me. I think of you each separately and hope everyday that we live our best and love our strongest. To the fullest we possibly can. Life is fleeting and precious. It can be taken in an instant. So get busy telling the ones you love how you feel. It’s vital, to be complete human beings that we love fully, because love is the only thing that is free and forever.

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
Log in to post a reply

Mar 5, 2019 06:25PM Parrynd1 wrote:

Minnie I’ve been writing my husband love letters for when he will be going through my loss and I’d like to add that saying to one of the cards. Thanks for posting it

Dx 9/4/2016, IDC, Right, 4cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 11/30/2016 Other Chemotherapy 2/22/2017 AC Surgery 5/18/2017 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Chemotherapy 6/15/2017 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxol (paclitaxel) Radiation Therapy 10/5/2017 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Dx 3/2018, IDC, Right, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain/bone/lungs/other, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Radiation Therapy 5/24/2018 External: Brain Chemotherapy 6/28/2018 Other Targeted Therapy 10/1/2018 Avastin (bevacizumab) Radiation Therapy 12/28/2018 Whole breast: Breast Chemotherapy 12/30/2018 Halaven (eribulin) Dx 1/29/2019, IDC, <1cm, Stage IV, metastasized to other, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2-, Dx 2/5/2019, 3cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2-, Surgery Chemotherapy Other
Log in to post a reply

Mar 5, 2019 06:36PM - edited Mar 5, 2019 06:41PM by micmel

Parry~I know how hard that must be for you to do. I have a clip board container with all of my “Letters". Inside them. I recently had to go inside to find one for my DD. And remove it, I had seen her married and I was at her reception as she was wearing my beautiful wedding dress, that I had saved for her.At my diagnosis, that is not something I ever thought I would see, so I wrote her about it. I cried the entire letter with such sorrow. I couldn't even see what I had written. Fast forward some months.... she's married a year in May. That letter wasn't needed because I lived it.

I got to see it for myself because I didn't listen to some doctor that gave me three years tops... I alsohad to remove the letter for my Step son because he made Eagle Scout and I attended, this June he will graduate. I intend to be removing that letter from the pile as well. Never ever think for one second that a medicine can't fall into your lap, just one doctor has to key in on another treatment for you. Has your estrogen status been checked again.? Sometimes it changes. We know cancer morphs. As you write those letters, remember you're. Not milk with an expiration date. Everyone's cancer is different. You are different. Love you my sweet sister!!

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)

Page 804 of 2,753 (27,523 results)

Scroll to top button