Mar 5, 2019 02:53PM MJHJAN1014 wrote:

Somedays you're the windshield, and some days you're the bug......

A silly expression but how I felt after reading everyone's posts.

Grannax-love the remodels but so frightening to read of your reaction to the epoxy. Sad to hear of you enduring a "family emotional mess", if only we could escape the pain of family matters, especially with flipping MBC diagnoses. Hope Xeloda is treating you kindly.

Parry-this disease is such stealer of happiness and dreams. We work so hard to stay upbeat and functional, but it can be so draining. I hate that you are in hard place right now and I want to wave a magic wand over you and all the rest of us.

Daniel and Leslie-thinking of you. What a scary thing to have happen. I hope things are settling down and that the findings are not very scary.

Broken about Z, Scwilly, and others that are currently in deep yogurt......( a dear friend of mine who was tragically killed in an auto accident used to say this as opposed to "deep sh***, I always loved it!

Micmel-hang in there with your Dad. You know this, but you will never regret what you are doing for him. You deserve this time with him, no matter how bittersweet.

Donnabelle-losing your precious child; what an unfathomable loss....to live with the heartache must be so difficult. I pray that you will rise up from this so understandable anniversary darkness to feel some sense of peace.

I received bad news today from my PET scan. I knew that the liver mets had progressed from my recent MRI, but now I have mets in my spleen, adrenal glands, one lymph node in my chest, and new lesions in spine and right humerus. Oh joy. I didn't even know that MBC could even go to some of these organs. It's like "who let the dogs out?" (we're talking mean, rabid, junkyard dogs). Had echocardiogram this AM and see MO on Thursday. So I say, "bring on the flipping Doxil ASAP-whatever it takes, I will ride out to meet it" This disease is just really ticking me off right now.

Sending love and sincere hopes for peace and wellness to all....love Mary Jane

Mar 5, 2019 04:23PM 50sgirl wrote:

Mary Jane, oh drat! I am sorry that your PET scan yielded such unexpected and unpleasant results. Bring on the flipping Doxil, indeed! I hope that treatment begins soon. Sometimes chemo is exactly what is needed, and it sounds like this is the right time. As you know, I wasn't happy to start taxol last month, but I am feeling great and am glad that there were such options available to me. Now it is driving me crazy to have to wait to find out if it's working. I know you will feel better and more empowered once you are back on treatment. You have a full and active life, and I know you will slide right back into the swing of things. Ugh, I just remembered that your dh is away for the month. How is he taking the news? I am sure he wishes he were there supporting you and hugging you. I am sending you a virtual hug, too. I know you have close friends and family, and I hope you are using them to lean on. I wish I had some magic words that would make things better, but alas, words just can't be found right now. Thoughts, however, thoughts are rushing through by brain - thoughts of hope, of possibilities, of that proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. I think we all deserve those things. Too much bad news lately. I have not heard from Lynne. I pray she has found some release from the terrible pain.

Grannax, Your remodel is beautiful. It must be nice to have real indoor plumbing again. Hahaha. Don't beat yourself up thinking you have been treating your family with less than perfect behavior. This disease causes so much stress for all of us. Your MO certainly makes things more difficult for you. Take it from someone who has an MO who makes me feel respected and my thoughts and opinions valuable, it makes a huge difference. You have been much more patient with your MO's attitude than I could be. Once you find the right MO, your stress level will come down a bit. Share your thoughts with your family and make sure they understand the impact that a new, more qualified MO will make.

Donnabelle, I am sorry this is such a difficult time for you. The loss of a child at any age seems unnatural and is tragic. The pain will eventually fade a bit, but the sadness of such a loss can never be erased. A few years is not enough time to heal. Allow yourself this time to grieve as your remember the good memories you once shared.

Daniel, I was hoping that things were going well for you and Leslie. I am sorry for the latest setback. I hope you are able to give us an update soon.

Tanya, Thank you for posting pictures from Hawaii. You and your mother look happy and beautiful. I love seeing those palm trees in the background. If I look out my window, I see snow not green grass and palm trees!

Micmel, I am glad your blood tests and MO visit went well. TM of 23, wow. That is great. Mine has never been below 154, and most recently were 2900. I think taxol will help to bring them back down.

Beautiful Sunset, it is so nice to see you here. Thank you for asking how I am doing. I had my fourth taxol infusion yesterday. I have no serious SEs. I am almost completely bald, but that is a small price to pay if this poison is killing cancer cells. My blood counts are down, but not low enough yet to have to skip treatment. So I am on my 5th treatment in a bit less than 4 years. I am hoping this one is working. How are you doing? I know you have been discouraged because you fear that your options are limited. How are you doing on you latest treatment? Is is gemzar or something else? Are you suffering from any severe SEs? I think about you often.

Hello Blueshine,I have missed you.

Hugs and prayers to all from, Lynne

Mar 5, 2019 06:02PM Minnie31 wrote:

Mar 5, 2019 06:13PM micmel wrote:

true statement !

Mar 5, 2019 06:25PM Parrynd1 wrote:

Minnie I’ve been writing my husband love letters for when he will be going through my loss and I’d like to add that saying to one of the cards. Thanks for posting it