Topic: My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

Forum: Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer, Open to All To Contribute — Topics here are started by members with a Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer diagnosis, but open to all members to contribute to discussions. Please note that there is a separate forum, Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY, where topics are open only to those members.

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 08:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 12:42PM by micmel

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 08:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 12:42PM by micmel

micmel wrote:

As I go through this forced path I have been thrown down, I have come to realize the love I have always had for my husband was strong. He is amazing and I love him with my very soul and entire heart. Never would I ever imagine the thought of dying and him being alone. Then the worst part hit me!! I can't seem to shake the horrible sorrow of thinking of another woman taking my place in his life and his heart, and if I Am honest his bed. He is my best friend and the love of my life, I would never need another for any reason. He makes my life complete, and then this happens. How do I process that I most likely won't be the one growing old on the porch that we have talked about, how do I process, someone else sitting in that chair? I hate this trajectory path I've been spun onto, and everyday I feel grief and deep sorrow. How do I live everyday knowing in the back of my mind, I feel like a place holder, for another woman who will be stepping into my life when I die of this horrible disease, more sooner than later. Why would I even want to take any medicines or treatments, when the answer is pretty obviously in front of my face.? Why do we fight so hard for something we cannot control ? Why do we hurt so badly thinking about letting go, or giving up? It's a four letter word that holds so much power. That word is LOVE..... If you have ever felt this way. Share with me, because I understand, I feel this way everyday. I also don't know what to do with the sadness of loss or how to process the process of dying. However slow or fast it may be. Please share your love stories with me, how did you meet? How long together? I want to know your stories, everyone has their person. Everyone loves.....tell me about your family, your friends, your life too, as if this was your living room. ♥️

We are team FU cancer (Named by Parry, our sweet sister) and this is our Lol pub and living room. Welcome, put your feet up and just be you!

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Mar 6, 2019 03:32PM micmel wrote:

abeautiful~Hello there. I had a day filled with napping. I was too tired to visit my dad today which makes me feel badly. I’ll go tomorrow and bring his laundry back. It’s actually a very daunting thing visiting someone everyday even if they are 4 miles away. Much love to all ~M~
Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Mar 6, 2019 03:48PM tanya_djamila wrote:

Good morning all

Special hugs to Parry and MJH. I hope this new treatment works like gang busters.

This is a picture of my mom 85 years old doing the hula dance. Alas she tried to record me but didn’t know how to use the phone.

Love and hugs to all.


Tanya Dx 8/19/2003, ILC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, metastasized to bone/other, 28/28 nodes, ER+, HER2- Dx 4/19/2017, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/other, 0/0 nodes, ER+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 6/20/2017 Faslodex (fulvestrant)
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Mar 6, 2019 04:01PM tanya_djamila wrote:

Video wouldn’t load

Tanya Dx 8/19/2003, ILC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, metastasized to bone/other, 28/28 nodes, ER+, HER2- Dx 4/19/2017, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/other, 0/0 nodes, ER+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 6/20/2017 Faslodex (fulvestrant)
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Mar 6, 2019 04:04PM micmel wrote:

Tanya~ I love to see your smile. I enjoy seeing the closeness that you share with your family. Hawaii is a very special place. I have many memories. Since I was 13. The pics aren’t as good as yours. Lol.

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Mar 6, 2019 04:09PM tanya_djamila wrote:

Tanya Dx 8/19/2003, ILC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, metastasized to bone/other, 28/28 nodes, ER+, HER2- Dx 4/19/2017, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/other, 0/0 nodes, ER+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 6/20/2017 Faslodex (fulvestrant)
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Mar 6, 2019 04:33PM tanya_djamila wrote:

I’ve been reading our thread while on vacation with my mom. It really has kept me pushing forward each day through fatigue a cold, a broken walker. Pushing through because each day I’m reminded of how hard we fight for any moments and goodness. This disease has no conscience or care about its destruction.

Some days in Hawaii are gorgeous breezy and warm. The birds chirp happily and the ocean is clean clear some times flat and uneventful and other times waves churning and slamming into lava rocks spraying and reaching everywhere.

Today’s my last day here.

Tanya

Tanya Dx 8/19/2003, ILC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, metastasized to bone/other, 28/28 nodes, ER+, HER2- Dx 4/19/2017, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/other, 0/0 nodes, ER+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 6/20/2017 Faslodex (fulvestrant)
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Mar 6, 2019 04:44PM Gumdoctor wrote:

Tanya - How wonderful that you could enjoy and share Hawaiian paradise with your mom.

Beautiful!!!

Gumdoctor

Dx 7/9/2014, IDC, Both breasts, 5cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 5/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-, Surgery 7/29/2014 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right Dx 12/20/2017, IDC, Both breasts, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, 5/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-, Surgery Reconstruction (left): Nipple tattoo; Reconstruction (right): Nipple tattoo Surgery Reconstruction (left): Fat grafting; Reconstruction (right): Fat grafting Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole) Chemotherapy Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Ellence (epirubicin), Fluorouracil (5-fluorouracil, 5-FU, Adrucil), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap Surgery Reconstruction (left): Fat grafting, Nipple reconstruction; Reconstruction (right): Fat grafting, Nipple reconstruction Surgery Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap Hormonal Therapy Faslodex (fulvestrant) Targeted Therapy Ibrance (palbociclib) Radiation Therapy Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall
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Mar 6, 2019 05:28PM micmel wrote:

that is a beautiful picture and what a wonderful memory of spending time with your mother. Safe travels home.

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/20/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/7/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Mar 6, 2019 06:08PM Minnie31 wrote:

Parry, it rang a bell with me and felt I should share. Love and hugs to our beautiful bride. X

Dx 10/20/2016, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, HER2+
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Mar 6, 2019 06:18PM Minnie31 wrote:

Off to sleep, ready for flight to London tomorrow. Overnight hotel and Friday morning flight to Victoria via Seattle. Excited, very excited to see my family. Just love them so much. Will follow while I have wifi. Thinking of you all. Tanya, Hawaii looks amazing! We are having a weekend away next weekend, an airbnb with the kids by a beach. Fingers crossed for sunshine ☀️ will take whatever comes. X

Dx 10/20/2016, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver, HER2+

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