Topic: My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

Forum: Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer, Open to All To Contribute — Topics here are started by members with a Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer diagnosis, but open to all members to contribute to discussions. Please note that there is a separate forum, Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY, where topics are open only to those members.

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 05:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 09:42AM by micmel

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 05:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 09:42AM by micmel

micmel wrote:

As I go through this forced path I have been thrown down, I have come to realize the love I have always had for my husband was strong. He is amazing and I love him with my very soul and entire heart. Never would I ever imagine the thought of dying and him being alone. Then the worst part hit me!! I can't seem to shake the horrible sorrow of thinking of another woman taking my place in his life and his heart, and if I Am honest his bed. He is my best friend and the love of my life, I would never need another for any reason. He makes my life complete, and then this happens. How do I process that I most likely won't be the one growing old on the porch that we have talked about, how do I process, someone else sitting in that chair? I hate this trajectory path I've been spun onto, and everyday I feel grief and deep sorrow. How do I live everyday knowing in the back of my mind, I feel like a place holder, for another woman who will be stepping into my life when I die of this horrible disease, more sooner than later. Why would I even want to take any medicines or treatments, when the answer is pretty obviously in front of my face.? Why do we fight so hard for something we cannot control ? Why do we hurt so badly thinking about letting go, or giving up? It's a four letter word that holds so much power. That word is LOVE..... If you have ever felt this way. Share with me, because I understand, I feel this way everyday. I also don't know what to do with the sadness of loss or how to process the process of dying. However slow or fast it may be. Please share your love stories with me, how did you meet? How long together? I want to know your stories, everyone has their person. Everyone loves.....tell me about your family, your friends, your life too, as if this was your living room. ♥️

We are team FU cancer (Named by Parry, our sweet sister) and this is our Lol pub and living room. Welcome, put your feet up and just be you!

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/9/2016 AC Surgery 6/20/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Mar 6, 2019 03:47PM rosie24 wrote:

I’m so sorry for all of you who are mourning the loss of Z. I didn’t have the pleasure of knowing her but I was still rocked by her death. The reality of our diagnosis is brought home when one of us who was so much alive leaves us.

Tanya, love your pictures with your mom!

Micmel, hang in there and be kind to your body. Sleep if you need to.

I have genetic counseling results appt on Weds. I wasn’t sure if it would really be any help since I’m already at this stage but apparently it may be helpful in deciding future treatments. My father had bc and lumpectomy at age 88 which is a big red flag I’m told. Not stressing the results but curious now.

Dx 1/23/2019, DCIS/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IV, metastasized to liver, Grade 2, ER+/PR-, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 1/23/2019 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 1/24/2019 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery 12/3/2019 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left) Surgery 12/3/2019 Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy 3/17/2020 Whole breast Dx IDC/DCIS, ER-/PR-, HER2-
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Mar 6, 2019 03:57PM Grannax2 wrote:

I have an appointment with my new MO. Her name is Dawn Klemow,MD at UTSW Dallas. She's a breast cancer specialist, my appointment is March 25.

I'm so grateful that she is still taking new patients. My PCP knows her. That makes it even better.

Things are better today with the family drama. I'm excited about that, too.

I had a long, busy day. I'm officially pooped.

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Mar 6, 2019 04:21PM Daniel86 wrote:

Thanks everyone for thinking of us and keeping us in your prayers. So far nothing conclusive has been found that would motivate a seizure. We are back home but we have another brain mri scheduled soon to see if anything shows up.

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Mar 6, 2019 05:20PM illimae wrote:

Daniel, back home is a great start, I’m very happy to hear it, please give our best to Leslie.

Diagnosed at 41 Stage IV De Novo Dx 11/16/2016, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ Chemotherapy 1/1/2017 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Surgery 6/26/2017 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy 8/10/2017 Breast, Lymph nodes Dx 10/5/2017, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+, HER2+ Radiation Therapy 10/19/2017 External Local Metastases 10/19/2017 Brain Radiation Therapy 4/18/2018 External Local Metastases 4/18/2018 Brain Radiation Therapy 5/22/2019 External Local Metastases 5/22/2019 Brain Surgery 1/21/2020 Radiation Therapy 2/16/2020 External Local Metastases 2/16/2020 Brain Radiation Therapy 7/20/2020 External Local Metastases 7/20/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Radiation Therapy 12/4/2020 External Local Metastases 12/4/2020 Brain Targeted Therapy Tukysa (tucatinib) Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Mar 6, 2019 05:27PM micmel wrote:

Daniel~~That’s what happened to me.. combo of empty stomach and medicines taken too closely together that’s absorbed too quickly.. I am hoping against hope that is what has happened for Leslie. You’re a good man being By her side. Please send her our love. Gentle hugs and supportive thoughts. Much love ~M~

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/9/2016 AC Surgery 6/20/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Mar 6, 2019 09:58PM Parrynd1 wrote:

Minnie safe travels :)

Grannax hope your appointment goes well and the new MO is just the right fit.

Daniel its good to read she is at least home. Sometimes I think no obvious culprits are better than it being something incredibly bad, but there’s that unknown factor that is hard to accept. I hope they find the cause and that it was something like Micmel said that way you know and know whether to worry more or not. Sending you both gentle hugs.

Tanya I’m so glad you are having a great time! Hawaii is my favorite place I’ve ever been to. It makes me happy to see a sister living it up in such a beautiful place.

Micmel hang in there and there’s no shame in napping! You are such an amazing strong woman and your dad is so lucky to have you back in his life during this time. I’ve started taking fresh homegrown wheatgrass shots daily and even that is a chore so I can only imagine how hard it is to caregive and visit each day.

Thank you so much everyone for all the special thoughts and support. Words don’t seem to adequately express how much your kind words and thoughts have helped lift me up in some darker times. I knew there was support here, but I didn’t realize just how much it does help. Thank you.

Take care everyone hope you have good restful sleep and a good day tomorrow

Dx 9/4/2016, IDC, Right, 4cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 11/29/2016 Other Chemotherapy 2/21/2017 AC Surgery 5/17/2017 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Chemotherapy 6/14/2017 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxol (paclitaxel) Radiation Therapy 10/4/2017 Whole breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Dx 3/2018, IDC, Right, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain/bone/lungs/other, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Radiation Therapy 5/23/2018 External: Brain Chemotherapy 6/27/2018 Other Targeted Therapy 10/1/2018 Avastin (bevacizumab) Radiation Therapy 12/28/2018 Whole breast: Breast Chemotherapy 12/30/2018 Halaven (eribulin) Dx 1/29/2019, IDC, <1cm, Stage IV, metastasized to other, Grade 3, 1/1 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2-, Dx 2/5/2019, 3cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2-, Surgery Chemotherapy Other
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Mar 7, 2019 03:37AM skitzblitz wrote:

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Mar 7, 2019 04:35AM micmel wrote:

I love you ladies. And Leslie’s Daniel!!! Always in your pocket rooting with love and unconditional friendship!

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/9/2016 AC Surgery 6/20/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Mar 7, 2019 05:28AM - edited Mar 7, 2019 05:53PM by micmel

So weird how things hit you and you don't expect it. My DD was on her way to work and she sent me a little video of a song that was playing on the radio. “Dancing Queen" by ABBA..... she said this songs reminds me of you. The tears started coming down my cheeks as i listened to it and bawled like a little three year old, who couldn't have a cup cake. The memories flooded back of her dancing around the house and doing her little performances.. smiling at me like the world was our oyster. At her wedding reception when this song played, we all formed a circle around her and she danced.It was and will always be a magnificent memory, that can bring me to my knees.

Now she's 23 and married on her way to work sharing a feeling in her heart about the same song. The love and memories built with your family are priceless. Feel them. Let them take you over.. even if it's just as long as the song allows. We may never understand somethings. But love is definitely something I do understand.

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/9/2016 AC Surgery 6/20/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Mar 7, 2019 05:59AM micmel wrote:

A candle that burns twice as bright.... can only burn half as long. I read this somewhere today and it rings so true.

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/9/2016 AC Surgery 6/20/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)

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