Topic: My Husband, My Life, My Love, My Family, My Cancer

Forum: Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer, Open to All To Contribute — Topics here are started by members with a Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer diagnosis, but open to all members to contribute to discussions. Please note that there is a separate forum, Stage IV/Metastatic Breast Cancer ONLY, where topics are open only to those members.

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 07:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 11:42AM by micmel

Posted on: Jul 6, 2017 07:38PM - edited Oct 28, 2019 11:42AM by micmel

micmel wrote:

As I go through this forced path I have been thrown down, I have come to realize the love I have always had for my husband was strong. He is amazing and I love him with my very soul and entire heart. Never would I ever imagine the thought of dying and him being alone. Then the worst part hit me!! I can't seem to shake the horrible sorrow of thinking of another woman taking my place in his life and his heart, and if I Am honest his bed. He is my best friend and the love of my life, I would never need another for any reason. He makes my life complete, and then this happens. How do I process that I most likely won't be the one growing old on the porch that we have talked about, how do I process, someone else sitting in that chair? I hate this trajectory path I've been spun onto, and everyday I feel grief and deep sorrow. How do I live everyday knowing in the back of my mind, I feel like a place holder, for another woman who will be stepping into my life when I die of this horrible disease, more sooner than later. Why would I even want to take any medicines or treatments, when the answer is pretty obviously in front of my face.? Why do we fight so hard for something we cannot control ? Why do we hurt so badly thinking about letting go, or giving up? It's a four letter word that holds so much power. That word is LOVE..... If you have ever felt this way. Share with me, because I understand, I feel this way everyday. I also don't know what to do with the sadness of loss or how to process the process of dying. However slow or fast it may be. Please share your love stories with me, how did you meet? How long together? I want to know your stories, everyone has their person. Everyone loves.....tell me about your family, your friends, your life too, as if this was your living room. ♥️

We are team FU cancer (Named by Parry, our sweet sister) and this is our Lol pub and living room. Welcome, put your feet up and just be you!

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
Log in to post a reply

Page 834 of 2,680 (26,795 results)

Log in to post a reply

Mar 24, 2019 06:55PM - edited Mar 24, 2019 06:56PM by micmel

LOL @ Muddling~ you know it's only, Because I love you guys! I am very glad to hear you're doing well.. it's important to have that valueable support for us all. And again LOL @ philly with the new name! Adorable. The poster formerly known as “Philly" Another new part of the family. 😁😜. Thanks for the laugh my sister!

Kayla~Thank you darling for the sweet words. I try to Be strong in front of him, then crumble and cry on my way home. My head goes in circles and I think back to being the little girl in the corner of the sofa. Playing peek a boo as a young child. 4 years old. He laid his head down and was sleepy. I could see the outline of his skull through his skin. It was just literal skin and bones. Another flash of what could be. My step mother called me tonight and it was Interesting. I didn't even bite on any gossip or he says she says. I stuck to the point my dad. She then said. I don't know what I would do if you and DD were nothelping the way you are. You have been wonderful. Now it could be just blowing smoke to keep me helping. But honestly I don't care. I'm doing this for my dad. And myself even. This has nothing to do with with her. Thanks for letting me vent !

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
Log in to post a reply

Mar 24, 2019 07:16PM - edited Mar 24, 2019 07:31PM by micmel

Donna~I hope I have this. I struggle with it lately more and more. You are the one that is completely amazing and strong. I 🙇♀️ to you and your family. Hugs and hugs... always good to see you here. Precious woman!

Gumdoctor~ we will all be thinking of you as well and we hop from pocket to pocket. In full support for one of our sisters. I hope again the worry we experience is just scanxiety and everything is fine. Hugs sweet friend .

Waving hello sweet resident nurse lynnwood! Hugs to you sweet lady! Nice day today huh!? I enjoyed finallly getting out. I'm visiting with my father and the head nurse says his roommate had been in the hospital for a week with the FLU!!! OMG...... I was like oh geeze NONOOOOOONOOOOO! I am hoping he's been out of there long enough. My dad didn't catch it !! But I sure got it... holy moly! Did I ever!

Hello to JKL...JFL....Bella....Rosabella...

Much love to all ~M~

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
Log in to post a reply

Mar 24, 2019 08:34PM rosie24 wrote:

Mae, I’ll be in your pocket for the scan, can I bring my own snack? I’ll try to be neat with my peanut m&ms.

Grannax, So glad to hear you had some nice family time. It sounds like maybe your DD and DS want things to be better too. Hope the problem solving session is positive for you.

Micmel, You’ve had a rough go since I arrived here. I hope you can shake the bug or whatever it is soon. You’re due for some better days and I know you want to be able to be there for your dad and your family. My dad died at 94 about a year ago. He lived in NEbraska and I’m in Ohio, so there was a lot of travel involved but I’m very glad I was there for his last weeks. It was difficult but important.

Parry, Thinking of you & hoping you enjoy your getaway.

Changed name, love the new handle! Happy birthday to you. (Rosie is from my favorite Bruce song from way back when.)

Hubby and I are leaving on a road trip next week. First a friends get together in VA then heading to FL for some family time and warm weather. Hoping for no surprises at my checkup on Tues.
Dx 1/23/2019, DCIS/IDC, Left, 3cm, Stage IV, metastasized to liver, Grade 2, ER+/PR-, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 1/24/2019 Femara (letrozole) Targeted Therapy 1/24/2019 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery 12/3/2019 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left) Surgery 12/3/2019 Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy 3/18/2020 Whole breast
Log in to post a reply

Mar 24, 2019 08:47PM - edited Mar 24, 2019 08:48PM by micmel

Rosie~Hi there darling. I'm always so honored to have you share your experience with this. I have none. I cannot even begin to imagine going through this long distance. It would be torture. I know he loves me and i love him. I just don't want to or need to be continually getting sick. I am thinking it certainly is why I am repeating this sickness. I keep going back to the germ 🦠🦠🦠🦠 palace. I'm always glad to see you. Thank you for letting me know it's worth it. I needed to hear that so much. Hugs to you ! ~M~(Will be wirh you as well for your check up! And enjoy your travels. Take in every second!)

~M~

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
Log in to post a reply

Mar 24, 2019 10:53PM runor wrote:

With you Mae for your scan, especially if there are some crawdads in your pocket! I have ALWAYS wanted to attend one of those crawdad boils. A cultural event I have missed. Is it true they taste like lobster?

Dx 3/23/2017, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 4/12/2017 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy 7/5/2017 Whole breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
Log in to post a reply

Mar 25, 2019 06:48AM tanya_djamila wrote:

Good morning gumdoctor and Mae no worries we’ll be eating crawfish and peanut m&ms. Rosie we’ll join you as well on Tuesday.

Micmel I don’t know if we can ever get prepared for losing our parents. Beautiful that you get to be there for him and yourself.

Have a good day ladies.

Tanya

Tanya Dx 8/19/2003, ILC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, metastasized to bone/other, 28/28 nodes, ER+, HER2- Dx 4/19/2017, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/other, 0/0 nodes, ER+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 6/20/2017 Faslodex (fulvestrant)
Log in to post a reply

Mar 25, 2019 08:30AM illimae wrote:

Morning everyone, I can’t eat until after scans but I thought you might enjoy this!


Diagnosed at 41 Stage IV De Novo Dx 11/16/2016, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ Chemotherapy 1/1/2017 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Surgery 6/26/2017 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy 8/10/2017 Breast, Lymph nodes Dx 10/5/2017, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 10/19/2017 External Local Metastases 10/19/2017 Brain Radiation Therapy 4/18/2018 External Local Metastases 4/18/2018 Brain Radiation Therapy 5/22/2019 External Local Metastases 5/22/2019 Brain Surgery 1/22/2020 Radiation Therapy 2/16/2020 External Local Metastases 2/16/2020 Brain Radiation Therapy 7/20/2020 External Local Metastases 7/20/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Radiation Therapy 12/4/2020 External Local Metastases 12/4/2020 Brain Targeted Therapy Tukysa (tucatinib) Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
Log in to post a reply

Mar 25, 2019 08:46AM micmel wrote:

Thinking of you Mae! Wow what a stash. We may get a little noisy ya know?! Good big pockets. Well done. Holding your hand! ❤️❤️

Rosie ~Thinking of you and your scan today. Hugs and support over the miles. 💙

Tanya~ waving hello. I guess no one would ever be ready for sure. I do not want him to suffer though. Loving a parent is a strange thing. It has to change. Shift and morph. Mine has. Interesting thoughts.

Waving to Runor! Hugs daaaaling!

Much love ~M~

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)
Log in to post a reply

Mar 25, 2019 03:27PM illimae wrote:

Scans are done after lengthy delays, jumping in Gumdoctors pocket, hope I’m not too late.

Runor, I can only assume lobster and crawfish have a similar taste, I’ve only had crawfish seasoned Cajun style and lobster unseasoned.

Looking up recipes for the leftovers, I’m thinking a pasta dish and some etoufee.

Waiting for results now 😬

Diagnosed at 41 Stage IV De Novo Dx 11/16/2016, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ Chemotherapy 1/1/2017 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Surgery 6/26/2017 Lumpectomy; Lumpectomy (Left); Lymph node removal Radiation Therapy 8/10/2017 Breast, Lymph nodes Dx 10/5/2017, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 10/19/2017 External Local Metastases 10/19/2017 Brain Radiation Therapy 4/18/2018 External Local Metastases 4/18/2018 Brain Radiation Therapy 5/22/2019 External Local Metastases 5/22/2019 Brain Surgery 1/22/2020 Radiation Therapy 2/16/2020 External Local Metastases 2/16/2020 Brain Radiation Therapy 7/20/2020 External Local Metastases 7/20/2020 Radiation therapy: Bone Radiation Therapy 12/4/2020 External Local Metastases 12/4/2020 Brain Targeted Therapy Tukysa (tucatinib) Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
Log in to post a reply

Mar 25, 2019 05:03PM - edited Mar 25, 2019 09:27PM by micmel

Yay on being done Mae! Dash to lunch sweetheart! Yummy crawl fish. I know it was not a crawl fish icon but it's the best I could do with my selections. Lol. Wish you the best ! Always!

Rosie~ with you as well my friend!

Gumdoctor~🌹💐 thinking of you !

Today was seriously something else. My DD and I went into see my Dad this morning, we come around the corner and we walk in. Say hello. And he Sticks his ancient finger in the air and says “I want a Fuc*ing cigarette NOW.. and if I don't get one I'm going to break the window and and throw this thing across the room. (The tv remote). Welp next thing I know we are ducking. Off it sailed. He told us three Times To get the eff out and don't come back .. he pulls the covers off of his barelegs, and starts to get up.... I had to brace my knees against his to prevent him from falling over. I walk over and sit down on the chair in front of him. And I'm trying to figure out what is going on. I did a little detective work and found out he didn't have his alcoholic drink with dinner the night before. He was having withdrawal symptoms!!!!! I sprinted over to the head nurse and came walking back into his room with his bourbon and ginger ale. I put it in his hand and told him what it was. It was like a little child on Christmas. He went from Tasmanian devil to a happy content man in bed again. It calmed him down immediately. It was so traumatic dealing with this. I didn't care he yelled at me. But hearing him yell at my child. I didn't really enjoy. I am not a yeler. Nor was I as a mother. I came home and slept till 5:00. I'm exhausted. His laundry is almost done. Then im back at it tomorrow. Gasp. I'm so tired. Ugh! Love conquers all.... say and repeat. Love conquers all!

Much love to all.

Special shout out to dodgersgirl! 🌹🌹

Everyone has to dance, they just don’t know what song they will get. Dx 1/22/2016, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 2, 13/35 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/10/2016 AC Surgery 6/21/2016 Lymph node removal; Lymph node removal (Left): Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy; Mastectomy (Left) Chemotherapy 7/19/2016 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 11/6/2016 Ibrance (palbociclib) Surgery Chemotherapy Chemotherapy Hormonal Therapy Arimidex (anastrozole)

Page 834 of 2,680 (26,795 results)

Scroll to top button