Topic: ​When the breast surgeon gets breast cancer

Feb 13, 2018 07:20PM Denise-G wrote:

Traveltext - THANK YOU SO MUCH for posting this. It is very meaningful.

Feb 13, 2018 09:12PM Micmel wrote:

definitely worth reading. Brings an entire new view that doctors may face. This is some scary shit! Fu cancer! Thanks for sharing ~M~

Feb 14, 2018 03:38AM Traveltext wrote:

Yes, they're just like us. I've followed Liz on Twitter since she was diagnosed and I related in that I had an ultrasound that was finally granted after three months of complaining of a lump. In my case it was the sonographers 'so eyes that popped out of her head during the scan. That and her quickly exiting the room to call the doctor!

Feb 14, 2018 08:21AM TWills wrote:

Sorry this is off topic.

“She got the all clear” “The cancer is gone”.

I wish I had gotten that! I wish everyone could get that, and that is the hope but... I feel like that is what confuses everyone about BC including me. I hate that it bugs me but it does and I’m not a doom and gloom person and for me I do feel like they probably got it all and my treatments most likely got the rest if any, but I do not feel like I can use those words but I really wish I could.

Feb 15, 2018 04:20AM Traveltext wrote:

TWills, your stats are a bit like mine, and like me you've had the fullest of treatments. Sure, we have our chances of recurrence, but we should realise we've got the odds on our side for a long life.

Beauz, I agree with you, there's a wealth of info here for the medical profession to study.

Feb 15, 2018 11:35AM Outfield wrote:

TWills, keep in mind "she got the all clear" are the author's words, not necessarily the surgeon's. I can't imagine a breast surgeon having an understanding of "the cancer is gone" after the treatment described. It sounds like, by her 10 year prognosis, she was probably diagnosed at stage III, and I can't imagine any doctor who required chemo for a solid tumor (as opposed to something like lymphoma) believing that it could be said with certainty "the cancer is gone."

That's the whole struggle of moving on. Even 7 years after finishing treatment, I struggle with making plans for the future any further away than a couple years. I don't want to let myself dream of things like grandkids or retirement too much, because I've got that risk of not making it that's higher than the average woman my age. I would love for my oncologist to look me in the eye and say, "Cured!" but both he and I know it wouldn't be honest and I wouldn't believe it.

ksusan, the time and training a therapist would have for talking with someone about breast cancer is really different from the time available to a surgeon, who also would not have the same kind of training to do it. I think a lot of people feel cut-off or dismissed when their physicians won't get deep into discussions of emotions or experience, but in this medical culture it's just not their role. I'm not a surgeon - I have much more time with people - but there's still the same pressure to deal with the issues of the body before the next person is due in the room. I think we know patients want us to be therapists sometimes, but it's just not possible. The closest I can think of to helping someone explore their emotions and values is a "goals of care" discussion, which can be complicated approaching end of life, but is usually pretty simple for cancer because the choices aren't limitless. If the person can't make up their mind easily, not because they don't understand the options but because one choice isn't clearly better when considering what they value in life, my hope for surgeons is that they at least recognize the situation, but most of the time, if they do, they'll just say "Think about it" rather than try to get to an end. Maybe delegate if the resources are there, but they usually aren't. It's the horrid, paternalistic ones who say "You would be happier with X" - like the surgeons who purposefully leave extra skin "just in case" when a woman says she will not be getting reconstruction. But yeah, I would definitely not want to see a therapist who had also dealt with breast cancer. I think people have a strong need to have their choices validated, and one way to experience that is to see other people make the same choice. I am very, very conscious of watching my words when I am speaking with another breast cancer patient, but I'm sure I'm not perfectly non-judgemental. The last thing I'd want as a patient would be a therapist who had been through the very same thing, faced the same choices, and had a niggling, but very human, need to be validated.

Feb 17, 2018 07:00AM - edited Feb 17, 2018 07:29AM by Wildplaces