Aug 25, 2010 05:49AM - edited Aug 25, 2010 05:50AM by blondedoris
Connect with those under 40 who have been diagnosed.
Posted on: Aug 23, 2010 12:10AM - edited Mar 8, 2016 03:08AM by Lady_Madonna
Just wanted to find out how many of us are in our 30s.
Do you have husbands and families? I found that aspect particularly hard while I was doing my chemo- keeping up with the needs of everybody else while I was doing my treatments.
Now I'm in the radiation portion and school will be starting in about 10 days... yay!
Say hello if you have a moment!
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Aug 25, 2010 05:49AM - edited Aug 25, 2010 05:50AM by blondedoris
Aug 25, 2010 05:59AM - edited Aug 26, 2010 09:34AM by blondedoris
Edited to remove post as I managed to post the same thing 3 times - I'm blaming chemo brain for that...
Aug 25, 2010 09:30AM tougherthanithought wrote:
Hope you all are having a good day so far!
No lung problems, but it started last fall (area near rib above implant felt sore- no lump). Drs. (Onc and BS) said it looked like Teitze syndrome (inflammation of the rib joint). They both said we would keep an eye on it for any changes. This explanation seemed reasonable at the time. Fast forward to about a month ago and I found myself constantly touching it and can feel what I think is a small lump.
At my previous Herceptin appointment, I pointed this out to the NP (my Onc was on vacation), who then sent me for a chest CT. So I haven't had my Onc feel this "lump" yet himself. I guess I will wait until next Thursday when I go for my last Herceptin and also see my Onc.
Thanks for listening
Aug 25, 2010 01:04PM ladym13 wrote:
I'm 35...diagnosed at 34
Left mastectomy, finsihed chemo in June, in the middle of rads right now and eagerly awaiting reconstruction..I miss my boob...sniff :(
I have two little girls 4 and 6.
It sucks that we are going through this at such a young age...but I swore that I'm gonna try and make this a gentle journey...as best I can.
Aug 25, 2010 01:33PM Lady_Madonna wrote:
Did you get the results of your chest CT? How scary, I'm sorry. This is exactly what we all fear. I'll be thinking of you and hoping you get some answers from your onc. Hoping it's something simple, I've heard of stitches coming loose and causing bumps under the skin and things like that.
Let us know what you find out.
Mo, Nice to see you here! (Well, you know what I mean!)
I'm sorry you had to lose your boob... that sucks. We put up with a lot, but we're going to kick cancer's ass!! And make friends in the process! (I guess that's about all there is good to say about it... )
Love to everyone! Happy hump day! Today I'm half way thru rads... which I have to run off for!!
Aug 25, 2010 01:40PM ladym13 wrote:
hahaha I do know what you mean :)
Yeap..losing the boob sucks, no other way to describe it, but I'm looking ahead and can't wait to get the new one :))
YAY you!!!!...half way through rads...that's awsome...I'm going for #7 today...actually right now!
Create a good day everyone :)
Aug 25, 2010 02:05PM momtomygirls wrote:
I'm 40 years old (even though I don't feel it..so I hope I can join) and I have two young girls (19 months and 6 years old). I discovered something was wrong while breastfeeding. I thought I had an infection but after many tests it was cancer. I had a mastectomy July 5 and two days ago I had to have more surgery to remove more lymph nodes and to get a bigger margin. I'm scheduled to start chemo on September 7th. It's hard going through this with young children but they are my inspiration!
Aug 25, 2010 02:17PM tougherthanithought wrote:
I have a 6 year old too, as well as an 8 year old. They do force you to keep going everyday, don't they?
And BTW: I only have about 9 more weeks to call myself a 30something, but I'm sure these lovely women won't mind that we stay here
Aug 25, 2010 02:23PM mommichelle wrote:
I was diagnosed in June at 36. I have two small kids, a little boy who is 5 and a little girl who is 3. They are the light of my life. I have a loving husband and super supportive family and friends. I have a part time job that I love and we just built a new house which we moved into in November. I hate that this is taking so much time away from my life, I hate that I don't have the energy I want to have and hate that this is the direction my life has gone. I am not normally so bitter, just so hard reading everyone's stories and wondering why...why any of us have to go through this. I want to see my grandkids and I want to grow old with my husband, sitting out back on our rockers. Please God give us all that chance! Bless us all and sending strength and support to everyone. We will beat this!
Aug 25, 2010 02:53PM NannaBaby wrote:
I'm 29. I don't have my own kids yet. I relate to jsw19, as my husband and I were trying to conceive until I found my lump. At first I thought lumpiness and discharge was a sign of pregnancy... so much for those happy thoughts.
I do have a 16 year old step son who only lives with us in the summer. He is very understanding of chemo and cancer, and seemed to handle taking care of himself very well. He took great care of me too :) Making sure I rested and stay hydrated :) It was difficult to keep it together sometimes, because I'd have crying spells now and then, and didn't want him to know that I was crying. I tried my best to act like everything is under control, and I am OK and feeling good. Although somedays I felt like sh*t.
Aug 25, 2010 03:28PM Kate0574 wrote:
Hi again Lady M, Chemo brain sucks but yet it does go away......since i am on tamox i cant really say much about all the SE because I dont know if its residual from chemo or tamox.. even three years later. I would have to say that the neuropothy in my toes is the only SE from chemo that i will feel from time to time!!
oh and I have a 16yo son.... and DH that I try and use chemo brain on once in a while... lol... it works! Take Care!
Aug 26, 2010 10:07PM youngmomof3 wrote:
Hi ladies, I am 36 years old(35 at diagnosis) and was not expecting to find a lump at my age that is for sure. At the time my kids were 7,5, & 13 months old and I was devestated. Of course all of the awful thoughts run through my head and it took me until I started chemo to feel a little bit better(weird that chemo made me feel better-at least that I was doing something to save my life). I did TCHx6 followed by bilateral mastectomy and free tram flap reconstruction and even though all looked good from surgery I was still left with a 5cm lump with some cancer cells so i am doing another 4 rounds of AC which started for me. Good thing I didn't get too attached to my very short hairdo since it will be leaving my hair yet again in a few weeks.
I have an amazing DH who certainly had no idea how much he would be put to the test when we said "I Do". He has really been the strength of our family and my rock. I am also very fortunate to have an incredible support system from family, friends, colleagues, and neighbors. They have gone above and beyond to help our family from meals to cleaning services to gas gift cards to endless cards and prayers. I draw so much strength from these people especially when I feel like I am running out of it myself. There are days when I cannot believe this is my life and that my kids and my husband have to go through this, watch me go through this...it seems so incredibly unfair and yet this is my life, we will get through it and hopefully not only will I survive but we as a family will thrive because of what we have gained through this journey.
I look forward to chatting with you other 30/40 somethings:)
Aug 26, 2010 10:19PM - edited Aug 26, 2010 10:20PM by jessamine
hi- I'm 36- dx last year- husband-like partner, no kids (nor ever now, had the ovaries out- I'm fine with that though wasn't going to anyway). Just saying hi for now... Oh and I think my chemo brain is getting better- but maybe I'm just getting used to it! Not sure...
Aug 30, 2010 07:58PM deenah wrote:
Hi everyone! I am 39, but will turn 40 in 2 weeks. I hope I can still join. I was diagnosed amost 6 months ago and have a 6 year old son and 3 year old daughter. My husband works from home and has been my rock through all of this. He has not missed one Dr. appt, chemo treatment or even lab appointment. Plus he is the bread winner and super dad. I am so lucky to have him. My family and friends have also been a great help. My mom took the kids for a week each time I had treatment. I was one of the unlucky ones who had a terrible time with chemo. The anti-nausea drugs did not work, so I literally could not get out of bed except to go to the bathroom for 2 weeks while on A/C. It was so humbling to have to be bathed by your mother at age 39, but I just couldn't do it myself because I was so weak. I honestly don't know how you single moms or moms with no family around got through it! Even with the Taxatere, I was in so much pain that I was in bed for a week after treatment. Sometimes I think I must just be such a whimp.
Yay for back to school! My son started first grade last week, and my daughter starts preschool on Wed.
LadyM - My heart dropped when you posted about having nausea with rads. The worst part of this whole thing has been the gastro problems and nausea. Everyone I have talked to (patients and doctors) have said there is no nausea with rads. But, I am prone to nausea, so I would not doubt that I would be in the minority if it's even possible. I had horrible morning sickness with my kids and am prone to motion sickness. But, I am glad to know now that it is possible because I probably would have had a mental breakdown if I had gone into rads not knowing that and having nausea! I don't start rads until the end of October, so I have a little time at least.
I was also wondering about Latisse. I just finished chemo less than 2 weeks ago, and I notices today that my lashes are starting to grow back. I kept feeling these little bumps on my left upper eyelash line, and because my eyse have been so drippy, I have been concerned with clogging and scarring. Turns out the bumps are my lashes trying to come in! They are in sad shape, so I hope they grow back fast.
I am so glad to have found a group of women who are going through this in the same stage of life as I am!
Aug 30, 2010 09:35PM tougherthanithought wrote:
Deenah-Hi...We are very similar, in that I, too am almost 40 (October 31st), and I was also VERY sick during chemo. I tried 5 or 6 different anti-nausea meds, and nothing worked. They eventually controlled the vomitting, but I was nauseous around the clock and only had 3 or 4 days of feeling a little better before I had to have another treatment. It really was awful. Pregnancies weren't any better! Sick from conception through delivery...absolutely dreadful.
I have my last Herceptin on Thursday, so I'm happy about that. But I still get a little queezy when I go to the chemo room...I guess just remembering how sick I felt those first 4 AC treatments, it brings it all back. Even the smell of the hand soap in the drs. office makes me a little green
Aug 30, 2010 10:22PM deenah wrote:
Sherrill -Congrats on being almost done!! I'm sorry you had such a tough time with A/C too. When I was going through it, I became really depressed because nothing we tried, worked for the nausea. I didn't actually throw up very much. I wished I COULD throw up so many times because it seemed like I would feel better if I did. Sort of like you do when you have stomach flu or food poisening. I have a feeling throwing up wouldn't have made me feel any better on chemo though! What finally helped a little was Marinol (synthetic marijuana). The problem was it made me so dizzy that all I could do was sleep. If I was awake, the room would spin constantly. I don't know which was worse, the nausea or the dizziness. That went on for almost 2 weeks each time. Then after that I'd be so weak and tired that I couldn't get out of bed. Like you, I might have had 3 or so days of feeling "ok" before going back for another treatment. It was so bad that I postponed my last A/C treatment by a week. I just couldn't do another one so soon again. Thank God that part is over! I know what you mean about feeling a little green when going to the chemo room. I still do too. Not as bad though. I used to have to take Ativan the morning of a treatment or I'd be so sick by the time I got there.
Thanks for the post. It seems like I was the only person alive who the anti-nausea drugs didn't work for. It's nice to know I'm not the only freak. Everyone I talked to asked me "Have you tried Emend?" I can't tell you how many times I was asked that by people. I tried it twice. It never worked. Funny thing is, one of my closest friend's husband is a pharm rep for Merck, and he sells Emend.
Aug 30, 2010 10:54PM o2bhealthy wrote:
Hello all - I was 38 when dx'd in May 2009 and just finished herceptin in July married with two children 11 and 16. Would write more but I am pooped after a long day at work and hitting the sack early. How sad to see so many young women on this thread...
Aug 31, 2010 01:26AM Lady_Madonna wrote:
Hi Deenah, hello and thank goodness you are finally getting a break! How awful your chemo experience was! Hopefully your rads experience will be a walk in the park after that. Don't you wish sometimes we could just go into a medically induced coma and sleep through chemo?!
Sherrill, Congrats on approaching the end of Herceptin treatment!
I'm hitting the hay early too...exhausted after all the first day of school commotion, and I think the rads (21 of 36) are finally catching up with me. Oh, and I'm really getting sore.
Welcome to our new friends, glad you have a place here to share laughs and tears as we try to muddle through breast cancer, husbands, kids, work, laundry, and/or any mix of the (crap, what's the word I'm looking for...??) -- I'll just say - previous!
Aug 31, 2010 04:00AM weety wrote:
Hi, I'm another one to fit into this category. I'm 39 and will be turning 40 in 2 weeks on 9/11 (Deenah-when is your 40th?) I found my lump while breastfeeding my 3rd baby. She was 6 months old at the time. My other two are 6 and 9. It sure does suck trying to be a mom and trying to take care of yourself at the same time, but you do what you have to do. I only have 2 more herceptins left!
Aug 31, 2010 06:49AM forwardbyfaith wrote:
A friend referred me here. I was diagnosed just about a month ago and I'm 36. I'm married with two kids, 11 and 12. I have just had surgery and am recovering but have not started any other treatment yet. I am waiting on BRCA test results since my mom and two maternal aunts have had breast cancer. One thing I am curious about is if any of you have had the BRCA test. If I test positive my surgeon is recommending a double mastecomy and having my ovaries removed. Did any of you test positive for BRCA and go that route?
Aug 31, 2010 08:28AM Laurie08 wrote:
Hi ladies, I too am glad to find the 30's thread and other women who can relate to my life. I am 35 years old with 2 boys one 9 months and the other 2 1/2years. I was diagnosed in April and had a BMX on 6/30. I am married to a wonderful man who has made me so proud and grateful for the way he has handled everything. The best thing I ever did was marry him!
I think being a mom to young children is the best and hardest part of going through surgery etc. There is no time to sit and cry for yourself. Heck, there is no time to sit! As another lady said diapers still need to be changed, children need to eat and run and they want you running with them. My days start at 6:00 am and I usually sit again with out children at 8:30pm. On the days when I am tired I still GO!!! Again, all of this is the best and worst part. I wouldn't trade it for anything though. Also, I am thankful that they both nap at the same time, because I do too! If it wasn't for nap time- I don't know if I would make it through some days.
Aug 31, 2010 10:09AM mommy2two wrote:
I was diagnosed last year at 34. It's nice to be able to communicate with others my age whom I can relate to. I have a daughter that is 12 and a 10 year old son. I took a week off during my surgery but worked and went to school both full time during chemo and rads. With kids, I don't think you have the opportunity to rest much and you do what you have to do! I am now in menopause and suffering through the SE's from that and it really sucks but I've managed thus far to survive the hot flashes and not sleeping at night. I look forward to chatting with all of you!
Aug 31, 2010 11:48AM Lady_Madonna wrote:
That's it!! Mommy2two and so many others have said it all... there's just no other choice, we have to take care of our kids and families. My onc keeps telling me "You're not slowing down, are you?" and I look at her like she's crazy! Her kids are all in college and she doesn't seem to understand that even with a loving, supportive hubby I can't just STOP taking care of the kids, house, and pets! I remember watching the pre-chemo video and thinking "This has got to be meant for people in their 50's and up, all this "take time during the day to read books and watch movies" ... yeah, right!! In a way it is good though, I think it makes the treatments go faster because you're so busy. I feel really bad for those who have terrible nausea though. That would be awful. I'm so thankful I made it through reasonably okay. I still barely sleep at night but I guess I'm used to it now.
forwardbyfaith, I had the BRCA tests and I was negative for both. If I had been positive we would have removed ovaries, uterus (sp-??) and done a BMX. That's definitely the way to go, there's such a high risk for BRCA positive. Hoping you're negative, the chances are very small that you're positive!
Running off to rads now, but welcome to all the new ladies. Every day I can't believe how many of us there are! So sad... but sending lots of love to my sisters. And by the way, to the ladies without kids... I know it's hard for you too, and I'm sorry that you may not be able to have the families you wanted. It must be hard to hear us talking about our busy lives. (((Hugs))) to all.
Aug 31, 2010 12:02PM in_cognito wrote:
LadyM - OMG, I think we saw the same video where people were taking leisurely strolls in their neighborhood after dinner too? That made me chuckle out loud.
forwardbyfaith - I had the BRCA test and it came back positive for "unknown clinical significance". I am now going to meet with a genetic counselor at UCSF tomorow to go over more history and see about doing BART testing (which is a little more conclusive when you have a result like mine). I will be doing a BMX in November regardless because my tumor was multifocal and it's questionable if they left anything behind from my re-excision. Ovary removal will be done (if recommended) when I do my exchange surgery next year.
I'm in awe of you ladies that work while going through treatment. I had my Onc write me off on disability while I go through this. I need the mental break from the stress of work. Having BC and raising my little ones are stressful enough.
Aug 31, 2010 12:15PM tougherthanithought wrote:
Hi all! Hope everyone is having a great day so far!
I, too, had the BCRA test done, but was negative. If it had been positive, my dr. recommended ovary removal also.
For me, the BMX (along w/ another surgery to remove a HUGE hematoma) was a breeze compared to chemo. I know everyone is different, but I'd do the surgery ten times again over chemo. Feeling nauseous ALL THE TIME really sucks.
I work part time, but took time off for surgeries and chemo. My husband and parents were very helpful during these times, and allowed me time to recover. I don't know how some of you go through this alone, either. Hats off to you!
I am finally feeling ALMOST back to normal, physically, since my exchange surgery in January. I've been working out with a personal trainer, as well as getting back to the fitness classes I loved before cancer (yoga, Pilates, ballet boot camp) I was very fit before diagnosis, and took a long break from exercise during the last year. I thought I wasn't ever going to be able to do push-ups again but I'm almost where I was before. It feels really good.
My kids start school Sept 7th and I'm so excited for them! I love the newness of a new school year (new supplies, backpacks, school clothes, teachers. etc)
Technical question: I usually check this site on my iphone while waiting ad Dr. appointments, kids sports practices, etc, but I am not able to post anything. If I want to post, I have to log in using the laptop. I already checked to see if breastcancer.org has an app, but I didn't see one. Does anyone else have this problem?
Aug 31, 2010 12:29PM deenah wrote:
LadyM - Funny about the medically induced coma. During my A/C treatments, I told my husband on more than one occasion that I wished they would put me in a coma until it was over. I would have done it in a heartbeat if it were safe!
Weety - I turn 40 on 9/16, so we are only days apart in age! And both HER2+ too. It is scary how many young women have BC! Happy birthday early!
I have a question for you married ladies. Having been thrown into menopause early and just being physically spent and emotionally spent, my libido is all but gone. My poor hubby! Anyone else with that problem? I don't even know who to talk to about it. Figured being sort of anonymous here would be easier!
Aug 31, 2010 01:07PM Lady_Madonna wrote:
Sherrill, Yes- I read the bco boards out on my iPhone but can't post anything either! Haven't been able to figure out any way to get around this, wonder if other phones support posting? In this day and age it seems silly, right?! Maybe we need to send a request to the moderators.
Deenah, This is a very, very common concern. Since you are er/pr- you could ask your onc or ob/gyn to give you a low dose boost to rev up your libido, there's some kind of ring that works well too. Other women say that they have to fake it but that once they get going they usually get into the mood (I pretty much fall into this category.) It's very hard with so much on your mind. Even the most loving, understanding hubbies (maybe especially those hubbies!) want to be able to have a reasonable sex life. Sheesh, one more thing bc takes away from us. The onc's really don't ask about it, do they?! Guess it's the least of their concerns! One more thing us "young ones" have to figure out on our own!!
Haha, I'm laughing though as I get this mental picture... it goes something like this "Okay, but don't touch me there... OUCH! No, not like that- OUCH! Stay totally away from that side! MY BOOB IS BEING NUCKED AND IT HURTS!!!" And then I usually start cracking up because it's all so ridiculous...