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Ladies in their 30s

Lady_Madonna
Lady_Madonna Member Posts: 313
edited April 2021 in Young With Breast Cancer

Hi sisters,

Just wanted to find out how many of us are in our 30s.

Do you have husbands and families? I found that aspect particularly hard while I was doing my chemo- keeping up with the needs of everybody else while I was doing my treatments.

Now I'm in the radiation portion and school will be starting in about 10 days... yay!

Say hello if you have a moment!


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Comments

  • Twinmom77
    Twinmom77 Member Posts: 56
    edited August 2010

    Hi!  33 here, 32 when diagnosed.  At the time my twins were 3 and I had a husband that checked out (he thought, and still thinks, that I use cancer as an excuse to not do anything! We're separated now).  Fortunately, my family stepped up and helped out so much so I could focus on getting well, but yes, there were lots of times when it was hard to get up off the couch and take my boys to the park or make them an actual, real dinner instead of letting them snack on whatever they wanted all day!

    Once rads are done and you just have Herceptin, it's a breeze!  And the Herceptin goes much quicker than you can imagine.  Just finished mine up at the end of July and it's so good to finally be done!  It's nice you can finally get a break with school going back in.  How old are your kids?

  • krobbins
    krobbins Member Posts: 1
    edited August 2010

    I agree.  During chemo I felt so desperate to live because of my two little ones, 6 and 5 at the time.  As I walked in, all the older patients looked at me with pity.  Now life is pretty close to normal again a year later.

  • tougherthanithought
    tougherthanithought Member Posts: 270
    edited August 2010

    Hi!  I was 38 when diagnosed and my kids were 5 & 7.  It was really hard not to be able to do everything that I normally did as a busy Mom.  But I had a lot of help from my parents, in-laws, and friends. 

    krobbins- I know what you mean about the looks of pity from the elderly patients at the oncologist's office.  I was usually the youngest one in there by decades.  Now that I look healthy (hair is back, although pretty short), I tell myself that the looks are of envy because I look so good! LOL

    I have one more Herceptin left (next week) so I'll be happy to be hitting another milestone. 

    I hadn't really checked this site for quite some time, as I was busy trying to get on with life, but I found myself back here the last several weeks.   On Friday, I had a chest CT scan, because of an area above my implant I was concerned about.  I hopefully will find out today that it's nothing. 

    It still amazes me how many young women are diagnosed.

    Sherrill 

  • SunDiego
    SunDiego Member Posts: 40
    edited August 2010

    My wife is 32, dx Stage IV last week (initial DX was Stage 1a last month). We have 8 month old and 3 year old. Trying to do as much a I can around house, with kids, and working, so wife can focus on only her health and going NED.

  • jsw19
    jsw19 Member Posts: 212
    edited August 2010

    I am 32 and was diagnosed a few months ago.  I am married but do not have kids yet, we were married almost 2 years ago and were hoping to start a family in the next year or so.  Of course that is all on hold and I am worried that I may never be able to get pregnant.  I am taking Lupron injections to try to protect my ovaries during chemo.  This week I am starting chemo - AC x4 then Abraxane x4, I had a severe allergic reaction to Taxotere so I cannot do TCH even though I am HER2+. 

    I am also ER+/PR+ so my onc wants me to do at least 2 years of Tamoxifen before stopping to try to get pregnant.  I turn 33 in a couple of months so I will be at least 35 before I can try to get pregnant.  And of course I worry that getting pregnant may end up triggering a recurrence.  At this point I am just trying to focus on getting through chemo, then rads.  But it is hard not to be upset that this disease may be taking away my chance to get pregnant. 

  • in_cognito
    in_cognito Member Posts: 87
    edited August 2010

    Hi ladies!  Can I join?

    I'm 37 with two little ones - a 2.5 year old and almost 6 month old.  I was diagnosed post partum when my daughter was 8 weeks old - thought it was a clogged milk duct and here I am. 

    I find that it is almost nice that the girls keep me busy through all this.  I am not having a terrible time with chemo at all (knock on wood).  I'm down for 1 day during treatment week then I bounce back pretty well.  I can't stop being a mom - dirty diapers need to be changed - and it helps keep my mind from wandering.  My husband works nights so when he is working I am up with the baby for a quick feed if she wakes up.  I'd love to be able to lounge in bed all day to rest, but now the urgency of living and savoring each moment with the kids resonates with me so much more than before I was diagnosed. 

    Nice to meet you all - sorry we had to meet this way though!

  • Lady_Madonna
    Lady_Madonna Member Posts: 313
    edited August 2010

    Hi everyone!  Wow, I wanted to connect with others but I'm so sorry to see so many of us here!  This disease blows!  

    Twinmom, kudos to you for doing it on your own, that's sooo hard!  But you certainly don't need deadbeat dad/hubby in the picture.  

    Sherrill, (tougherthanithought...great name!),  Let us know what you find out about your scan.  Isn't waiting for results the worst?!  I had my echo last week and I've been feeling so short of breath and dizzy.  Maybe I'm just dehydrated, but of course I'm paranoid.  Today when I go in for Herceptin I'll find out if there's anything to worry about.  Congrats on being at the finish line!!  You and Twinmom are so lucky to have family around to help you, I miss my family very much- they're all up in the northwest and I'm down here in Vegas.

    krobbins, I understand all too well the looks of pity.  It's wonderful that things have settled down for you.  

    SunDiego,  How difficult to go from a stage I to stage IV so quickly. You're giving your wife a gift by supporting her in this way. You both must be so overwhelmed.  This is a great place to be!  We're here for you! 

    jsw, I'm so sorry you're in this position.  On one hand you can fight with all your energy, but it must be awful to wonder if you'll ever be able to have a family.  Damn cancer.  My husband is an ob/gyn and I do know there are women who have successful pregnancies after chemo.  I really don't want my ovaries to fire back up since I've had my two beautiful boys but he told me that they could at any time, with premenopausal women they often do.  

    In_cognito, What an awful time to be diagnosed (not that there's a good time!)  Sometimes it is easier to be busy through all this crap.  But with a baby- Wow!  That's pretty tough.  We women really have an amazing amount of strength!  

    I'm so pleased to meet everyone, in spite of the circumstances.  The friendship and support I've found here are just amazing.  Let's keep in touch.

    Have a wonderful week,

    ~Melanie

  • Summer38
    Summer38 Member Posts: 96
    edited August 2010

    Hi Ladies,

     Pretty scary that there are so many of us! I am 38 (37 when diagnosed) and have 2 children - 12 & 10. They certainly keep me busy but they are also a huge help when I'm not feeling well. I can't imagine doing this with "small" children. I have one more Taxol treatment then on to radiation.....

    Nice to meet all of you!Smile

  • yellow78
    yellow78 Member Posts: 4
    edited August 2010

    Hi,

    I am 31 with two little ones (5 and 3) year old.  My husband and family have been very helpful through this.  Chemo has not been easy for me but with a great support system it helps.  I feel quilty with I can't play with my kids or do as much as I used to but I have to think that hopefuly this time next year will be different.  Nice to meet everyone!  Jenn

  • yellow78
    yellow78 Member Posts: 4
    edited August 2010

    Hi,

    I am 31 with two little ones (5 and 3) year old.  My husband and family have been very helpful through this.  Chemo has not been easy for me but with a great support system it helps.  I feel quilty with I can't play with my kids or do as much as I used to but I have to think that hopefuly this time next year will be different.  Nice to meet everyone!  Jenn

  • Latte
    Latte Member Posts: 141
    edited August 2010

    Hi Everyone,

    I was 39 when diagnosed (but turned 40 2 weeks ago  - hope i can still stay on this thread...). I am a single parent to a 2 year old, with no family where I live. It's been rough going, with a lot of paid babysitting help. But my Dad arrived last week and he's staying for 3 months, while I finish neoadj AC and Taxol. So it's going better now. After he leaves I have to work out how I will get through surgery and rads with my daughter...

    I have noticed that my daughter is much more clingy, and stubborn, but it's hard to tell how much of it is because "Mummy doesn't feel well" and how much is just standard two-year old behavior. and it tears my heart out when she tells me that she is very sad, and when i ask her why, she says "mummy, mummy" :-(

    For those of you who are struggling, where i live there are organizations that help children with cancer (special activities, counselling, etc.) - I was surprised to find out that they also help healthy children whose mothers have cancer. Things are pretty quiet here in August, but I am going to start using their services in September. Maybe there are similar things in your areas that can help?

  • Lady_Madonna
    Lady_Madonna Member Posts: 313
    edited August 2010

    Hi Summer, Yellow and Latte,

    Of course, everyone is welcome!  Latte, how nice that they have those services available for the children.  I'm not aware of anything similar here.  This is sooo tough on the kids.  

    I love popping on here at bco.  I just saw my onc today and I had a bunch of gripes.  Radiation has made me nauseaous, and I guess I'm still feeling the effects of chemo (tho I didn't complain much during my chemo- I tried to be a trooper!)  But it kinda cracks me up, I'm still mostly bald and yet I'm breaking out terribly.  How unfair is that- bald AND acne?!  Guess my ovaries are firing back up.  So much for no periods!

  • in_cognito
    in_cognito Member Posts: 87
    edited August 2010
    Lady M - I just sent you a PM  Laughing
  • mightymon
    mightymon Member Posts: 7
    edited August 2010

    Hi there,

     I'm 30 married with no kid. Just had my partial mastectomy on Friday 13th Aug, and waiting for my chemo. Hubby, boss and friends had been great support. I'm so admire all your mums out there who have to go though BC treatment and still have to be a mummy as well. YOU ALL ARE A TROOPERS!!!!  

  • Lady_Madonna
    Lady_Madonna Member Posts: 313
    edited August 2010

    Hi mightymon!  We're all warriors here!  Glad you've got a good support team, that makes such a difference while you're going through chemo. 

    Quick change of subject..., has anyone used Latisse for lashes?  Mine are really pathetic and I think I might want to try it!  It's been two months since chemo, I think it might be okay now?!  I'm still in rads tho...

  • mamaof3bugs
    mamaof3bugs Member Posts: 5
    edited August 2010
    Hello fellow 30 something's Laughing I was diagnosed in Jan. 22 just a few weeks after my 37th birthday.  I am a stay at home mom to three beautiful girls, ages 12, 10 and 8.  I have a wonderful supportive hubby, we are celebrating 13 years married tomorrow.  I finish up my chemo (4 DD AC and 12 weekly Taxol) on Aug. 11 and I am now waiting to start rads.  I am having my port removed in the morning, my BRCA testing Set. 7, my ovaries removed Sept. 23 and I will start rads the week after that.  I live in the Seattle area and I am being treated at SCCA.  I am a triple negative.  For those of you just starting or in the middle of chemo, I know you don't believe it but the end will come and you will feel 'normal' again...at almost three weeks out I am starting to feel better everyday.  My hair started growing a few weeks ago but I am still without eyebrows or lashes.  I look forward to connecting with all of you. Angi
  • Summer38
    Summer38 Member Posts: 96
    edited August 2010

    LadyM - you're nauseous on rads? I have my last chemo tomorrow then I'll have a few weeks off before I start rads but I really was hoping to not have those type of SE's with rads... I'm curious about the Latisse also - my lashes are pathetic! I can't wear mascara because it "highlights" the gaping holes LOL.

    Mightymon - Hope you are healing well. A good support system makes a world of difference!

    Angi - Looks like you have a busy month coming up!Surprised

    So glad to have another group to connect with here on BCO!

  • Lady_Madonna
    Lady_Madonna Member Posts: 313
    edited August 2010

    Hi Ladies!  There just aren't enough hours in the day!  I love the bco boards, and it's great to be in a group in a similar place in life! 

    mama, congrats on finishing chemo, I'm sooo jealous you get to have your port removed.  I have to keep mine until I finish Herceptin, so that's until March- boo!  It's one of those love/hate things... my last echo showed my LVEF was at 53% and they yank you off Herceptin at 50%- (temporarily!) now I DON'T want to have to go off my Herceptin, so I'm definitely hoping my heart function doesn't drop any lower!  I hate all these things we have to go through! 

    Chemo- yes, very do-able!  My photo was taken three weeks after chemo ended.  I'm in a wig and have drawn on eyebrows, but I think I look pretty together, all things considered!  Well worth it to knock any cancer cells out of your body, I'm a big advocate for doing everything you can even though chemo isn't anybody's first choice.

    Summer, I know exactly what you mean about lashes!!  Think I'll ask the onc if I can try it, I've heard it really does work.  I need all the help I can get.  And yes, rads DOES (or can) cause nausea!  The rads onc on call denied it when I saw him and told him I was terribly nauseaous but yesterday when I saw my onc she just laughed and said he didn't want to admit it.  Nice, huh?!  The onc nurses said the same thing, many onc patients complain of nausea with rads.  So it doesn't necessarily mean you'll have that problelm but don't freak out if you do (I did, and it would've been nice if he would've just told me it was a side effect!) 

    Well, I'm going to try to finish getting the kids ready for school before they get back from Grandma and Grandpa's tomorrow.  I've had almost a week with a little peace!  We have four boys, ages 12, 13, 14, and 18 (and my husband is like another kid! ;) and three dogs, three cats, a rabbit and a hedgehog!  Guess who takes care of them all?!  The 13 and 18 year olds are my step-sons and they're with their mom every other week but when we have all four boys it's like a frat house around here!  Sooo much testosterone! 

    Anyone coming to Vegas with the ladies in October?  Heck, anyone coming to Vegas to visit?  Give me a call!  I love company!! 

  • tougherthanithought
    tougherthanithought Member Posts: 270
    edited August 2010

    Hi Everyone!Smile

    I posted the other day that I was having a chest CT scan because of an area I was concerned with, and I found out yesterday that all looked OK.  Yes, I'm relieved that nothing obvious showed up on the scan.  But I did speak to my Dr. briefly today, and I told him that I do feel something there.  He said we could look into it further when I see him a week from Thursday and possible do more testing.  Do you think he means an ultrasound?  Would something show up easier with an ultrasound vs. the chest CT scan?

    Lady M (Hi!) - I haven't tried Latisse, but I do have Revitalash, which is suppossed to be similar.  You don't need a perscription, and I think a lot of places carry it.  I've used it a little bit, but I end up stopping, because I keep losing my lashesYell  Not entirely, but every few months they they really thin out (I finished chemo on October 09 and hair started growing back in December)  My Dr. said this may happen a few , times, so I guess I'm waiting until my lashes are here to stay before I diligently appply the Revitalash. 

    It's so nice to connect with all of you!

    Sherrill

    PS:  One more Herceptin for me next week, then I can get this annoying port taken out!! Horray

  • Jaimieh
    Jaimieh Member Posts: 925
    edited August 2010

    I was diagnosed at 32 on Christmas Eve of 2008 with a 3yr old and a 6yr old.  I have a great DH who tries to understand me and my emotions but it's hard when you have not gone thru BC. 

    I had a bilaterial mastectomy followed by 6 TCH and the rest of the year worth of vitamin H.  I am still trying to learn to trust my body and find my new normal but it has been VERY difficult. 

     I have had a LOT of reconstuction surgeries and I still have one more to go.  I am hopeful that then I will continue on to finally get some tat's and then I will cross my fingers say a ton of prayers and hope for the best. 

  • in_cognito
    in_cognito Member Posts: 87
    edited August 2010

    tougherthanithought - The CT is more definitive at ruling out possible malignancies than an ultrasound would be.  Some Oncs will order a PET scan to rule out anything weird from a CT - just depends on how much more radiation you want to be exposed to (and PET scans usually can only pick up malignancies if they are at least 1 cm).  When you say you had a chest CT - did you have lung problems that warranted the CT?  Or are you talking about a lump on your chest?  If so - the ultrasound could show another detailed view - but the CT is more definitive.  The Onc could also order an MRI as another view.  The only way to know anything for sure is by biopsy of course. 

    Jamieh - Nice to "meet" you.  It's nice to hear the perspective of someone a few years out.  I wonder all the time what my new normal will be like. 

  • in_cognito
    in_cognito Member Posts: 87
    edited August 2010
    Lady M - love the pic of you!  You're a beauty!
  • Kate0574
    Kate0574 Member Posts: 23
    edited August 2010

    Hello Ladies.... I finally found a 30's forum... pretty sad I have been coming here since 2007.  I was diagnosed 3/07, I did mastectomy and 8 rounds of chemo but didnt need rads.... three and a half years out and I am doing good, I have been on tamox for three years now only two left... weeeehaaaaa!!!!! 

    GL to all of you lovely ladies..... you will all do fabulous.... take care all and let me know if you have any question... I have been there and been through it all!! SO GLAD I FOUND THIS FORUM... OH AND LADY M I HAVE NEVER BEEN TO VEGAS AND I LOVE IN CALI.... I WANT TO COME THERE SOOO BAD... SOMEDAY!! LOL

  • Kate0574
    Kate0574 Member Posts: 23
    edited August 2010

    OH YEAH, I WAS DIAGNOSED AT 32 AND JUST TURNED 36 IN MAY!!!

  • Lady_Madonna
    Lady_Madonna Member Posts: 313
    edited August 2010

    Jamieh, Boy do I know what you mean about trying to trust your body and the new normal, I'm already discovering those issues.  You can have the most loving DH in the world, and the most supportive friends, but they just can't understand the way your bc friends understand! 

    I'm also amazed at the level of knowledge you beautiful, brilliant ladies have acquired!!  We are truly a force to be reconned with when it comes to this fight, aren't we?!  

    Thanks in_cognito, you too!  I see ALL these beauties here and I just want to reassure those who are just starting chemo that it'll be okay, you can come through this looking relatively normal (with a little smoke and mirrors!  Wink)

    Have a great night all!

  • Lady_Madonna
    Lady_Madonna Member Posts: 313
    edited August 2010

    Hi Kate, it's so great that you're a few years out- yay!!  And so sweet that you still come here to give comfort to the rest of us.  I couldn't sign off without saying hello.  (I actually started typing a few hours ago and got distracted by kids, the phone, pets, etc... haha!) 

    Here's what I need to know...

    Does chemo brain eventually go away?!?

    P.S. Come on over!!!

  • cheers247
    cheers247 Member Posts: 57
    edited August 2010

    Hello all, it's been a while since I've checked in on BC.O.  I hope everyone is doing as well as possible.  I am a single mother of 1 son.  I have been on medical leave from work since my diagnosis, I'm hoping to be released to return soon.  Chemo brain and periferal neuropathy are my big obsticles at this point.  Much love!  Jessica

    www.caringbridge.org/visit/jessicam

  • Lady_Madonna
    Lady_Madonna Member Posts: 313
    edited August 2010

    Still here, I just can't quit bco!

    Jessica, I was just reading your caringbridge.  (I have several friends on there.)  Wow, IBC is crazy.  I'm so sorry you've had to go through all that.   Thank goodness the survival rates have improved recently.  What a crappy hand to be dealt.  How is your son doing? 

    I grew up in Oregon and my family is all still in Portland and Vancouver.  I miss them terribly but I can't handle the rain.  

    My biggest problem these days is worrying about my heart... my ejection fraction on my last ECHO was 53%.  But I don't really feel like I have a whole lot to complain about- I'm pretty lucky, all things considered!  

    Oh yeah, I also can't sleep!  So I have a lot of time to spend on the computer.  But I'm off to try to go to bed now. 'Nite all!  Really!

  • alison34
    alison34 Member Posts: 36
    edited August 2010

    hi all

    i was diagnosed at 34 in Jan 2010 -  I have 2 children 5 and 10

    had left mastectomy, chemo, rads, Tamoxifen

    NICE TO MEET AND READ EVERYONES POSTS

    good luck to all going into chemo or rads

    its been a long year for me but i am finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel yeaaaaaaa

  • blondedoris
    blondedoris Member Posts: 57
    edited August 2010

    Heyas

    I was diagnosed last Sept at 35 but I'm 36 now (hehe - have started liking birthdays rather than resenting them!). Am married but no children yet...we were planning on starting a (biological) family this year but are looking into other options instead now.
    Finished Chemo in April; hair is slowly growing back - had eyebrows and eyeliner tattoo'd on as I was too impatient to wait for them! 
    Gentle hugs to all you still going through active treatments xxxx