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Topic: Being a warrior mom is hard

Forum: Young With Breast Cancer —

Connect with those under 40 who have been diagnosed.

Posted on: Dec 14, 2015 07:47AM

Skittlegirl wrote:

Battling breast cancer is hard.

Raising kids is hard.

So this is just a place for us younger moms here to post whatever you need to. Accomplishments. Vents. Sadness.

Dx at 32. Mom to 3 kids (8, 6, and 3). Dx 9/4/2015, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ (IHC) Targeted Therapy 9/30/2015 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 9/30/2015 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Chemotherapy 9/30/2015 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 2/10/2016 Mastectomy: Left, Right Radiation Therapy 3/14/2016
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Dec 14, 2015 07:54AM Skittlegirl wrote:

Chemo during Christmas time sucks. Lots of fun activities going on, but I am flat on my back dealing with chemo stuff and DH won't attempt taking our trio out solo, which I understand. I know that next year it should be different, but right now it just kinda sucks. We also don't have a lot of people begging to take the kids. More like me begging for some or one to go somewhere so we can have a break.

Dx at 32. Mom to 3 kids (8, 6, and 3). Dx 9/4/2015, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ (IHC) Targeted Therapy 9/30/2015 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 9/30/2015 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Chemotherapy 9/30/2015 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 2/10/2016 Mastectomy: Left, Right Radiation Therapy 3/14/2016
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Dec 15, 2015 12:36PM Abby20 wrote:

I can totally relate! I had my treatment 3 years back during holiday season and it was so hard. Give it one year and you will back to life up and running.

All the best,

Abby

Dx 7/20/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 8/8/2012 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel Targeted Therapy 10/2/2012 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy 10/2/2012 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel)
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Dec 15, 2015 05:04PM kcat2013 wrote:

I was smack in the middle of treatment 2 years ago during Christmas. It was hard, my kids (who were 6 and 10 at the time) didn't get to do alot of our "normal" holiday traditions because chemo hit me so hard I could barely function. We were lucky we had a tree up at all! However, 2 years out from all that, I can tell you that my kids don't look back on that year and bemoan everything they didn't get to do and how different that year was. Kids are amazingly resilient (way more so than I thought they would be). My kids have truly surprised me with how much of the bad stuff they don't carry with them and how their memories seem to be focused on the good things that happened during that time.

On the other hand *my* memories of that time are quite different and still very fresh in how hard it was :) Two instances will stick with me forever. First, my 6 year olds birthday is 3 days before Christmas, 2 days after a chemo treatment that year. I don't remember a single thing from his birthday party--I had fuzzy chemo brain plus was really out of it because of all the meds I was on to combat the wicked nausea. It makes me sad that I can't recall celebrating with him at all--even though I know I was there. Second, I can remember throwing myself a pity party on Christmas Eve when the rest of the family went to church and I had to stay home alone, seeing as I felt like death warmed over at that point! It was particularly sad since I had to miss my 10 year old singing for the service. But, like I said, my kids don't even talk about me missing those things now, so I'm very thankful that they came away from that time less traumatized than me!Loopy Hang in there!!

Kendra


34 at diagnosis Dx 8/2013, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 9/4/2013 Mastectomy: Right; Prophylactic mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 10/25/2013 AC + T (Taxol) Targeted Therapy 2/7/2014 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Surgery 6/20/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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Jan 17, 2016 07:08PM Skittlegirl wrote:

Another member let me know of this summer camp for kids who have a parent battle the cancer demon. It's Camp Kesem and it's free. Registration opened on Friday for kids 6-15 (older teens can be counselors in training). My girls are so excited to go to camp. Just thought I'd pass it along if anyone else wants to look into their local camp. Our local one is run by UW students, but lucky for us the actual camp is in central WA instead of having to drive all the way to Seattle.

Dx at 32. Mom to 3 kids (8, 6, and 3). Dx 9/4/2015, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ (IHC) Targeted Therapy 9/30/2015 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 9/30/2015 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Chemotherapy 9/30/2015 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 2/10/2016 Mastectomy: Left, Right Radiation Therapy 3/14/2016
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Jan 17, 2016 07:41PM Stephmoen wrote:

I was diagnosed at 29 with 16 month old and 5 year old it has almost been a year since diagnoses I sometimes can't believe. I was able to get through last year thankfully I have an amazing family that helped me through

Dx 3/17/2015, DCIS, Left, Stage 0, Grade 3 Dx 3/17/2015, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IB, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (IHC) Targeted Therapy 4/15/2015 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy 4/16/2015 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel) Targeted Therapy Perjeta (pertuzumab)
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Jan 17, 2016 08:08PM Jenwith4kids wrote:

Camp Kesem is wonderful. My kids went the year I was dxd and then again last year. I just registered them for their third year. Do it, it's free and fun!


So many changes since 1/8/2014 - Much good has come from the bad, and I do remember to allow myself the fact that "it's okay to not be okay". Looking forward to having this further and further behind me each day. Dx 1/9/2014, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 5/14 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 2/14/2014 Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Surgery 2/14/2014 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 2/14/2014 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary Chemotherapy 3/20/2014 AC Chemotherapy 5/15/2014 Taxol (paclitaxel) Surgery 9/2/2014 Prophylactic ovary removal Radiation Therapy 9/8/2014 Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 9/12/2014 Arimidex (anastrozole) Hormonal Therapy 3/5/2015 Femara (letrozole) Surgery 4/27/2015 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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Jan 18, 2016 08:39AM jenjenl wrote:

So hard but they certainly motivated me during treatment. They made me be positive even when I wasn't feeling that way. At the same time when they would meet certain milestones I would be so sad and scared, worried would these be the last milestones. I'd then shake my head to snap out of it and curse myself for thinking that way. When I was worrying a lot i would push myself to do something fun with them, even though it was so draining. During all that I really did feel like super mom - i worked, had treatment and took care of the kids 100% of the time. My husband worked for two ass faces who didn't give a crap - he would have to argue with them to get time off to go to chemo with me...WTF? Karma is all I can say - their house caught on fire last year, all safe but karma.

I am 3 years out and now when I ask my kids about it they say they don't remember. I never said I had cancer, I thought they were too young to hear that. I do find myself reverting back to snappy behavior vs cherishing every moment, I need to work on that. I am so sorry you don't have a better support system to come and scoop the kids up.

41 year old wife and mother of 2 children, ages 12 and 10. BRCA1+ (33 at dx) Dx 10/30/2012, IDC, Right, <1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 1/15 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Surgery 11/12/2012 Lymph node removal: Right, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Right Chemotherapy 12/18/2012 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 4/21/2013 Prophylactic ovary removal Radiation Therapy 4/29/2013 Breast Surgery 7/22/2013 Mastectomy: Left Surgery 1/20/2014 Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap
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Mar 23, 2016 08:03AM BlueKoala wrote:

I am most worried about how my three-year-old is going to cope. I start treatment next week. Spending time at grandma's is still a novelty, but will she tire of it? She's a bit of a tantrum thrower, and stubborn as. Normally I can out stubborn her, but I don't know if I will be able to quite so well while I'm going through chemo! She told me this morning she is sad and cross that I will lose my hair.
35 at diagnosis. Complete response to chemo! Dx 3/15/2016, ILC, Right, 6cm+, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 3/28/2016 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 9/8/2016 Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 10/23/2016 Whole-breast Surgery 6/21/2017 Prophylactic mastectomy: Left Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone), Zoladex (goserelin)
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Mar 24, 2016 03:11AM Stephmoen wrote:

I was nervous about my little ones as well my youngest was 13 months it was hard I had 2 lengthy hospital stays through treatment she didn't understand why mama was gone..but we made it through best advice enjoy every moment with them you can don't be afraid to ask for help and take care of yourself! Much luck you can do this!

Dx 3/17/2015, DCIS, Left, Stage 0, Grade 3 Dx 3/17/2015, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IB, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (IHC) Targeted Therapy 4/15/2015 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy 4/16/2015 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel) Targeted Therapy Perjeta (pertuzumab)

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