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Topic: 19 yrs old . Anyone diagnosed @ or similar in age

Forum: Young With Breast Cancer —

Connect with those under 40 who have been diagnosed.

Posted on: Feb 21, 2021 12:55AM - edited Feb 21, 2021 12:56AM by O2s

O2s wrote:

My daughter is 19 newly diagnosed and very much an introvert. I would never push it upon her but I made this account for when shes ready to talk about this with someone who knows what she is going through.. As her oncologist said support groups are women not her age . Just looking to find someone within few years of age or diagnosed this young for her to relate to.

She is a beautiful person in her first year of college with plans to teach. She has been diagnosed with Triple Neg Stage 3 she has done 2 rounds of chemo. I expected the fatigue and luckily thats been the only side affect so far.

She worked 3 part time jobs that she has quit since the diagnosis and she loved her jobs. Now i cant get her off the couch . Ive explained how important exercise is for her. She is very upbeat and positive just wont move around and has no interest to.

Dx 1/18/2021, IDC, Right, 5cm, Stage IIIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2- (IHC) Chemotherapy 1/29/2021 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 3DCRT: Breast, Chest wall
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Feb 21, 2021 08:01AM LivinLife wrote:

Hi O2s! I am not young (58) though saw no one had responded to your post yet so checked it out... I truly feel for you and your daughter! So young for her to be dealing with all of this and for you given this is your daughter! I do hope others of a younger age will come along at some point though not sure how many young people are on this site. Even if your daughter is not interested (or maybe yet) in posting for support - if she's spending more time on the couch inactive maybe she would be willing to look around the site? There are forums/threads for IDC and triple negative as well though likely mostly people older than your daughter (not sure really). I know there would be younger (20'/30's) with the IDC forum. A message I'd recommend sending her, without pressuring her of course, is regardless of age there are similar feelings, experiences and valuable information, let alone support really is ageless. Of course she would prefer people more her age though until she finds that.... I also think breast cancer tends to be more unusual in younger folks though also often more serious so that's not helping the situation though this site has sooooo many viewers and participants.... Gentle hugs to both of you!

Dx 7/2020, DCIS, Left, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+ Surgery 8/30/2020 Mastectomy: Left; Prophylactic mastectomy: Right
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Feb 21, 2021 08:04AM - edited Feb 21, 2021 08:06AM by DebAL

O2s, I'm so sorry your daughter is going through this at such a young age. There are threads here with young women in their 20s that maybe the mods can direct you to.

I'm sorry as a parent that you are going through this. There is no greater pain than seeing your child go through something like this. I believe there are threads here for parents. Biggest piece of advice from me is don't push her right now. I'm sure she is fatigued from chemo and also depressed. Its a lot to take in. I cannot imagine at age 19. She will need some space. A daily walk with her could be a short term goal.

Her goals to teach can and will still happen even though right now it may seem impossible. Just on hold for now.

There is much support here when she is ready. Again, I'm sorry you are here but glad you found this forum

Dx 1/22/2018, IDC, Left, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 2/12/2018 Mastectomy: Left, Right Surgery 2/12/2018 Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 4/2/2018 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Hormonal Therapy 6/14/2018 Arimidex (anastrozole) Surgery 8/9/2018 Reconstruction (left): Fat grafting, Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Fat grafting, Silicone implant Surgery 12/20/2018 Reconstruction (left): Fat grafting; Reconstruction (right): Fat grafting Surgery
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Feb 21, 2021 09:13AM SoulShine1969 wrote:

O2s, My heart goes out to you and your daughter, such a young age to be battling breast cancer. It all must be so devastating and difficult to process. I’m not young, I was 45 at diagnosis. Like your daughter I was diagnosed with stage 3 triple negative breast cancer. I am 6 years out from diagnosis, which for TN cancer 5 years out is when we can put fears of metastasis behind us for the most part. TN can be beat, I hope that she has a good doctor and cancer center where her disease is treated aggressively.

I can’t even imagine how difficult this all must be on your daughter and your family. This site is a good place for both of you to feel safe and heard.

Positive healing thoughts and prayers,

Rebecca

Surgery 10/14/2012 Prophylactic mastectomy: Left, Right Surgery 12/30/2013 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Dx 2/18/2015, IDC, Left, <1cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 1/14 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Surgery 3/30/2015 Lumpectomy: Left Chemotherapy 5/2/2015 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxol (paclitaxel) Radiation Therapy 11/4/2015 Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall
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Feb 21, 2021 09:50AM MindiG66 wrote:

O2's I am so sorry to hear this! As a mom I can only imagine how hard! And to be so young, it's a lot for her to process. I 'thought' I was young when I was diagnosed at 37 and it was a lot to work through. I hope in time she can find support and encouragement and a sense of community here! It sure does help to know you're not alone.

God bless her, and you!


Dx 7/3/2003, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 2/13 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Dx 7/18/2020, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 10/8/2020 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 2/2/2021 Hormonal Therapy Femara (letrozole)
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Feb 21, 2021 01:45PM flashlight wrote:

You are a great Mom and I know your daughter appreciates your support. Even though I am old it took me some time to feel like myself again, not only physically, but mentally. If you go to: All Topics → Forum: Young With Breast Cancer. There are some post from a 20 Year old. It does help to relate to others who are going through the same things. If depression continues it doesn't hurt to go on something for a while to get through treatment and beyond. Best wishes.


Dx 11/15/2018, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Dx DCIS, Left, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Radiation Therapy Surgery Lumpectomy: Left
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Feb 22, 2021 01:08PM buttonsmachine wrote:

I'm not quite as young as your daughter, but I was diagnosed at 32.

There is a group online called the Young Survival Coalition which is geared toward younger people. They have a private Facebook group but they also do virtual meetups, and probably other stuff too I think.

Here we have many people in their 30s, and quite a few in their 20s too, so of course your daughter is more than welcome. I'm sorry she's going through this at such a young age though. I hope she's tolerating treatment okay so far. Best wishes. 💕

Diagnosed at 32. Local recurrences one year later. Now dealing with MBC. Dx 8/2016, IDC, Right, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 10/1/2016 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 10/31/2016 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 2/1/2017 Whole-breast Hormonal Therapy 3/31/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Dx 10/2017, IDC, Right, Grade 3, 2/12 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/1/2017 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy: Right Chemotherapy 11/30/2017 AC Surgery 3/31/2018 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 4/30/2018 External: Lymph nodes, Chest wall Chemotherapy 6/30/2018 Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy 7/30/2018 Zoladex (goserelin) Hormonal Therapy 2/1/2019 Aromasin (exemestane) Hormonal Therapy 9/30/2019 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Dx 8/2020, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver/other, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy 8/30/2020 Ibrance (palbociclib) Chemotherapy 1/14/2021 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Gemzar (gemcitabine)
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Feb 22, 2021 03:15PM hawkvand wrote:

hey there,

like others have said I’m not as young as your daughter. I’m 31 and was diagnosed just over a year ago. Sounds like you’ve already been directed to young survivors coalition but I also wanted to mention that the breasties are a pretty neat group. I’m so sorry she has to join this crappy club especially so early. Please do t be afraid to reach out. What are her hobbies? I’m a video game nerd and find that to be a good escape from all of this stuff. If she ever wants to reach out my dms are open. Also, make sure she knows to ice her hands and feet during taxol treatments it helps prevent long lasting neuropathy I have none from mine and am so grateful

One note to you that you may not need: when I was diagnosed I thought my mom would be a huge support for me, and she tried but she was always so bent on me being positive that it created a rift between us. I’d try to open up and cry and she’d tell me that I had to stay positive which felt super dismissive. That or she’d try to fix everything or suggest solutions to issues when all I wanted was just to have someone listen and be there emotionally. Please allow her to grieve this in her own time. If she wants to be super positive be there for it, but also try to just be there with her while she is in the depths of her grief. Like I said you may not need that info, but I know I wish I could have felt more heard by my mother.

Please feel free to reach out in any of the tn threads if you or her need anything. I know I found great support there. Also, Reddit has a decent breast cancer sub with lots of women in their 20’s and early 30’s.

Dx 2/13/2020, DCIS/IDC, Both breasts, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 2/24/2020 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxol (paclitaxel) Surgery 9/14/2020 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy Xeloda (capecitabine)
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Feb 22, 2021 03:20PM AngieB92 wrote:

O2s -

I’m the mom of a 19-year-old and I cannot imagine what you are feeling! I can’t shed light on your question but I just want to send both of you big hugs and to tell your daughter to get moving not only for her health but to be ready for her life to come back. She’ll be back working those jobs again before she knows it and she needs to be ready!!

Dx 8/8/2019, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/6 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (IHC) Targeted Therapy 9/16/2019 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Targeted Therapy 9/16/2019 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Surgery 3/3/2020 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Targeted Therapy 4/9/2020 Kadcyla (T-DM1, ado-trastuzumab)
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Feb 22, 2021 03:26PM MinusTwo wrote:

Please pay attention to what Hawk said. Every woman at ANY age has to come to terms with her own diagnosis. This is not something you can fix and you shouldn't try to control her. I know that's REALLY hard for any Mother who wants to make it better. As Hawk said - listen, be there if she wants to cry, and offer support if she's receptive, but don't take over.

2/15/11 BMX-DCIS 2SNB clear-TEs; 9/15/11-410gummies; 3/20/13 recurrance-5.5cm,mets to lymphs, Stage IIIB IDC ER/PRneg,HER2+; TCH/Perjeta/Neulasta x6; ALND 9/24/13 1/18 nodes 4.5cm; AC chemo 10/30/13 x3; herceptin again; Rads Feb2014
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Feb 22, 2021 09:41PM buttonsmachine wrote:

100% agree with hawkvand. It's a delicate balance for family members for sure, and I had some of the same struggles with some of my family members. It's best to let your daughter be your guide and support her in how she wants or needs to deal with it, which will vary week to week and month to month. There are a lot of different phases of grief in breast cancer too, so the way she feels now won't necessarily be the way she feels in six months. It's an evolution.

Diagnosed at 32. Local recurrences one year later. Now dealing with MBC. Dx 8/2016, IDC, Right, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 10/1/2016 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 10/31/2016 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 2/1/2017 Whole-breast Hormonal Therapy 3/31/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Dx 10/2017, IDC, Right, Grade 3, 2/12 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/1/2017 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy: Right Chemotherapy 11/30/2017 AC Surgery 3/31/2018 Lymph node removal; Mastectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 4/30/2018 External: Lymph nodes, Chest wall Chemotherapy 6/30/2018 Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy 7/30/2018 Zoladex (goserelin) Hormonal Therapy 2/1/2019 Aromasin (exemestane) Hormonal Therapy 9/30/2019 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Dx 8/2020, IDC, Stage IV, metastasized to bone/liver/other, Grade 3, ER+/PR+, HER2- Targeted Therapy 8/30/2020 Ibrance (palbociclib) Chemotherapy 1/14/2021 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Gemzar (gemcitabine)
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15 hours ago - edited 15 hours ago by Kayrem

Os2

First let me commend you for your post. It is great to see you open the door for your daughter to reach out. I don't post often, or for that matter come back to the site as much as I should but your post resonated with me.

I am in the unique position of being in both rolls, 1) being a patient of breast cancer and 2) watching my 12 (at the time, 14 years now) of coming down with an illness that I had no clue of what it would do to her or what I could do to help her. I know the terror of feeling that you will not be around to raise you 7 and 5 year old children and the terror that you might lose your child. They are both very dark places to be in.

I got my cancer diagnosis when I was 46, I am now 55 and will be cancer free for 10 years at the end of June. When I was diagnosed I felt like I was hit by a Mack truck. I lost 25 lbs because I stopped eating and I walked (so much nervous energy).

I also was lucky (if that is the right word) that I had a counsellor in the wings. Ten months prior I had lost my dad to lung cancer and I had started seeing a counsellor there to help with my feelings as I was the principal caregiver for him. When I was diagnosed she was there for me almost immediately. Counseling may be helpful for both you, as a caregiver, and your daughter, as a patient. I remember telling her how everyone kept telling me I had to stay positive. I WAS not all positive at that time and people telling me that only added to my agitation. She told me that there was no science based evidence that lack of positivity would hurt your chances of recovery. She said being positive just made it easier on the people around you. That statement made an impression on me. I had 2 young kids and a terrified husband. I made my own call on whether I would be positive or not going forward.

But to be honest when I was on chemo I did not do much. I was pretty sick, ended up in the ER on the evening of the first chemo because I was vomiting so much, and I ate whatever I could (not necessarily the healthiest of diets) as I always dropped 5 lbs in the first 2 weeks then ate like a lumberjack during the next 2 to bring the weight backup.

It wasn't until I was done all my treatment that I started to exercise. Then I used an elliptical and literally exercised (worked up slowly of course) for up to 5 hours a week, like the research suggested.

I fought for a BRCA test and came back positive for a BRCA 1 mutation so I had a few procedures. Hopefully they have suggested this test for your daughter, if not I strongly suggest she get it. This allowed me to have additional procedures which could give me further piece of mind.

After she is done her chemo and radiation she may feel more up to moving around, as buttonsmachine has suggested. But in the meantime I hope you are looking after yourself. As I said previously I know the terror of being in both shoes and the terror of potentially losing my daughter was in some ways worse. Because while I was on chemo and radiation, even though I had no control over my cancer, I still felt like I was doing all I possibly could to get better. When my daughter got ill I felt so much more incredibly helpless...and that is something coming from a stage 3 BRCA1 positive breast cancer survivor. Please take care.

Dx 6/13/2011, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 4/11 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Surgery 6/30/2011 Lumpectomy: Right Chemotherapy 9/15/2011 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Ellence (epirubicin), Fluorouracil (5-fluorouracil, 5-FU, Adrucil), Taxol (paclitaxel) Radiation Therapy 2/21/2012 Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery 3/14/2013 Prophylactic mastectomy: Left, Right Surgery 5/21/2013 Prophylactic ovary removal

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