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Topic: You know you're a cancer patient when....

Forum: Humor and Games — Breast cancer is no laughing matter, but sometimes a good joke or a game is the best medicine.

Posted on: Jul 25, 2010 12:49AM - edited Apr 26, 2014 01:00PM by AnacortesGirl

AnacortesGirl wrote:

OK ladies.  I know this may go over like a lead balloon but I have a weird sense of humor.  And in the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy and his redneck jokes I thought we might have enough material to do some cancer jokes. 

You know you are a cancer patient when ...

You read a book and you laugh when the subject has been diagnosed with cancer and their first question to the oncologist is "Will I lose my hair?".

Your onc says that you need a transfusion and you ask "Can I get that from a  nineteen year old?" 

When your onc asks you the folllowing "Are you fatigued? Apetite OK? Any neuropathy? Bowels OK?" and you respond with "Can't you come up with any new questions?" and the onc responds with "I get paid to ask these questions!"

For more short, fun and uplifting posts, click the following link for some cute pics:

Warm & Fuzzy owls, goats, kitties, dogs, birds, ETC. Pics & Links

Christy - BRCA2+; mets to bones and liver, Taxol/Sutent -> AC, BMX - no recon, Rads, Carboplatin, BSO, Veliparib trial (8/30/13-3/13/14) Dx 7/21/2009, ILC, 5cm, Stage IIIC, Grade 3, 14/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 9/1/2010 Aromasin (exemestane) Hormonal Therapy 2/1/2011 Dx 9/9/2012, ILC, Stage IV, Grade 3, ER+/PR-, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 9/9/2012 Femara (letrozole) Chemotherapy 3/29/2013 Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy 8/16/2013 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Chemotherapy 3/20/2014 Carboplatin (Paraplatin)
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Jul 26, 2010 10:43AM justpayton1 wrote:

you know the names of every stool softner and just how to mix em

Dx 2/9/2009, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IV, Grade 3, 2/13 nodes, mets, ER-/PR-, HER2-
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Jul 26, 2010 11:34AM geewhiz wrote:

You have to clear out a new space in your cabinets just for supplements

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Jul 26, 2010 11:37AM geewhiz wrote:

you have drank in the past 6 months more juiced vegetables than you have eaten in your entire life...even though it looks and smells occasionally like pond scum. 

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Jul 26, 2010 11:54AM diana50 wrote:

when you stand naked in front of a long mirror and embrace your wrinkles...scars...and body changes....because you are just soooo grateful to be alive.

Not today cancer. Nope. Dx 2/26/2002, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIIC, Grade 3, 10/12 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 3/4/2002 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary Chemotherapy 4/3/2002 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 8/6/2002 Hormonal Therapy 8/10/2002 Arimidex (anastrozole) Dx 8/30/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage IV, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 10/2/2012 Bone Chemotherapy 7/8/2014 Taxol (paclitaxel) Chemotherapy 5/6/2015 Ixempra (ixabepilone) Chemotherapy 10/5/2015 Gemzar (gemcitabine) Hormonal Therapy 4/12/2016 Faslodex (fulvestrant)
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Jul 26, 2010 12:01PM cka0706 wrote:

you bump into something with your fake boobs and don't realize it ... particularly funny when someone sees it and doesn't know they're fake! 

And as for the other posts ... ROFLMAO!!! Thanks everyone!!

TC x 4 starting 12/1/09. When the going gets tough, the tough eat chocolate. Dx 6/17/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jul 26, 2010 01:25PM squidwitch42 wrote:

you suddenly panic while walking down the street because you are not sure if you have a top on

(can't feel the girls anymore)

Dx 10/2/2009, IDC, 4cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/7 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2-
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Jul 26, 2010 02:53PM Leah_S wrote:

Your bra strap slips off your shoulder & you don't realize it until you see you have one boob in place and one near your waist.

Dx 11/3/2008, IDC, 1cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 6/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jul 26, 2010 02:55PM lvtwoqlt wrote:

You have both a heater and a fan in your office to take care of the sudden temperature swings due to tamox.

Women are like tea bags, we don't know how strong we are until we were thrown into hot water. Eleanore Roosevelt Diagnosed ADH Feb 2005, ADH Sept 2006 Surgery 2/12/2005 Lumpectomy: Left Surgery 9/10/2006 Lumpectomy: Right Hormonal Therapy 10/12/2006 Dx 4/27/2007, DCIS, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/7 nodes Surgery 6/1/2007 Mastectomy: Left, Right
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Jul 26, 2010 02:59PM DoubleMammyWhammy wrote:

You are using your insurance card more than your credit cards.

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Jul 26, 2010 03:28PM marcy4 wrote:

You have much less hair than your husband.

Dx 1/6/2010, IDC, 4cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 3/15 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+
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Jul 26, 2010 03:33PM mumito wrote:

When you have no hesitation to wip off your top so a stranger can examine what is left of your chest.

Dx 4/23/2008, IDC, 5cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 2/15 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-
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Jul 26, 2010 03:55PM lvtwoqlt wrote:

mumayan, been there, done that to show off my tattoos Embarassed.
Women are like tea bags, we don't know how strong we are until we were thrown into hot water. Eleanore Roosevelt Diagnosed ADH Feb 2005, ADH Sept 2006 Surgery 2/12/2005 Lumpectomy: Left Surgery 9/10/2006 Lumpectomy: Right Hormonal Therapy 10/12/2006 Dx 4/27/2007, DCIS, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/7 nodes Surgery 6/1/2007 Mastectomy: Left, Right
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Jul 26, 2010 05:44PM pickle wrote:

You know you're a cancer patient when your dog gets more haircuts than you doSmile

Dx
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Jul 26, 2010 08:30PM jenn3 wrote:

LMAO

When you come home after a long day and take off the boobs or on the weekend you debate whether or not to wear boobs that day.................

Jenn - June 2009 IDC-TN, Stage III, 02/2011 Stage IV mets to the lungs & spine / Laugh until your belly hurts, then laugh some more...........
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Jul 26, 2010 10:45PM AsiaYM wrote:

when you are checking in the mirror about how long your hair is at least once a day.

Diagnosis: 6/2009, stage IIIa,IDC,TAC
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Jul 26, 2010 10:51PM chrissyb wrote:

When the closest thing to you when sitting in your arm chair is a pair of tweezers for the chin hair.

I found my peace which gave me strength. 52 at dx. Dx 12/8/2003, IDC, 4cm, Stage IV, Grade 2, 0/12 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jul 26, 2010 11:12PM Faith316 wrote:

When part of your daily routine involves taking your prosthesis with you into the shower to wash it and then standing in front of the mirror when you are dressing to make sure the real boob and the fake boob are even with each and not too lopsided. 

DX 4/08 IDC, ER-, PR-, HER2+, IIB, Grade 3,lumpectomy,2/8 nodes,4 AC,12 wks.Taxol,Herceptin,30 rads. DX IBC 6/09 while still in treatment. Now Stage III. 6 mo. of Xeloda done, still on Tykerb. Uni-mx & another node dissection 2/4/10.
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Jul 26, 2010 11:31PM FLlady wrote:

.....you get excited about having to shave your legs!!!

Dx 11/12/2009, IDC, 5cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 25/34 nodes, mets, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Jul 26, 2010 11:37PM BrendaAreYouA4 wrote:

...when you take your fluids intravenously!

Bilateral Mx, DIEP reconstruction with hemorrhage, clotting, staph infection in one breast, oopherectomy, 14 surgeries for complications, TC X 4, Arimedex for next 5 years. Dx 8/28/2009, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jul 27, 2010 06:27AM AussieSheila wrote:

........when you walk and talk like your grandmothers' grandmother.

Sheila. 

Maybe it is life itself that teaches wisdom to its youth. k d lang ILC dxed in RB '95, mod rad mx 2 pos nodes from 32 ax clearance + A/C x 4 + Tamoxifen x 5yrs. Dx 11/4/2008, ILC, Stage IV, 2/32 nodes, mets, ER+, HER2-
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Jul 27, 2010 06:46AM jteach wrote:

...when people of all ages start calling you "dear".

Great thread!!!!Smile

Dx 4/2009, IDC, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 2/14 nodes
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Jul 27, 2010 06:48AM jteach wrote:

...when playing a mild game of Wii golf with your kid gives you severe lymphadema!Yell
Dx 4/2009, IDC, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 2/14 nodes
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Jul 27, 2010 06:52AM somanywomen wrote:

when you don't know whether to laugh or cry hysterically from these posts....

“There must be some way out of here,” said the joker to the thief, “There’s too much confusion, I can’t get no relief."....All Along the Watchtower..Bob Dylan Dx 9/28/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+
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Jul 27, 2010 06:55AM justpayton1 wrote:

"when everybody knows your name" at the tx center

Dx 2/9/2009, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IV, Grade 3, 2/13 nodes, mets, ER-/PR-, HER2-
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Jul 27, 2010 07:52AM Faith316 wrote:

When you have baseball caps to match your various outfits and before BC, you could probably count on one hand the number of times you ever wore a baseball cap in your life!

DX 4/08 IDC, ER-, PR-, HER2+, IIB, Grade 3,lumpectomy,2/8 nodes,4 AC,12 wks.Taxol,Herceptin,30 rads. DX IBC 6/09 while still in treatment. Now Stage III. 6 mo. of Xeloda done, still on Tykerb. Uni-mx & another node dissection 2/4/10.
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Jul 27, 2010 12:42PM Lifestooshort wrote:

When you really want to put your Facebook status as "I pooped today!"  :D

Dx 6/6/2006, IDC, 2cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 1/22 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2-
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Jul 27, 2010 05:21PM Faith316 wrote:

When every 3 months your eyelashes and eyebrows thin AGAIN!

DX 4/08 IDC, ER-, PR-, HER2+, IIB, Grade 3,lumpectomy,2/8 nodes,4 AC,12 wks.Taxol,Herceptin,30 rads. DX IBC 6/09 while still in treatment. Now Stage III. 6 mo. of Xeloda done, still on Tykerb. Uni-mx & another node dissection 2/4/10.
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Jul 27, 2010 05:32PM weesa wrote:

When you buy volumnizing shampoo for your crotch hair.

Sometimes I wonder if I am an old soul temporarily trapped in a breast cancer body. Dx 11/22/2002, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 5/25 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 1/20/2003 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 6/14/2003 Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 8/23/2003 Femara (letrozole) Surgery Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): Latissimus dorsi flap
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Jul 27, 2010 05:43PM Octobergirl wrote:

Oh what a great idea!  Volumizing shampoo!

October Dx 3/25/2009, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 4/13 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jul 27, 2010 05:58PM MicheleS wrote:

when you show up at the radiation safety office (at work) after PET scans just to make the Geiger counters go off... (and when the staff of the radiation safety office are so used to you messing with them that they don't even look up from their desks anymore).

TNBC dx 12/26/2008, Stage I

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