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Topic: You know you're a cancer patient when....

Forum: Humor and Games — Breast cancer is no laughing matter, but sometimes a good joke or a game is the best medicine.

Posted on: Jul 25, 2010 01:49AM - edited Apr 26, 2014 02:00PM by AnacortesGirl

AnacortesGirl wrote:

OK ladies.  I know this may go over like a lead balloon but I have a weird sense of humor.  And in the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy and his redneck jokes I thought we might have enough material to do some cancer jokes. 

You know you are a cancer patient when ...

You read a book and you laugh when the subject has been diagnosed with cancer and their first question to the oncologist is "Will I lose my hair?".

Your onc says that you need a transfusion and you ask "Can I get that from a  nineteen year old?" 

When your onc asks you the folllowing "Are you fatigued? Apetite OK? Any neuropathy? Bowels OK?" and you respond with "Can't you come up with any new questions?" and the onc responds with "I get paid to ask these questions!"

For more short, fun and uplifting posts, click the following link for some cute pics:

Warm & Fuzzy owls, goats, kitties, dogs, birds, ETC. Pics & Links

Christy - BRCA2+; mets to bones and liver, Taxol/Sutent -> AC, BMX - no recon, Rads, Carboplatin, BSO, Veliparib trial (8/30/13-3/13/14) Dx 7/21/2009, ILC, 5cm, Stage IIIC, Grade 3, 14/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 9/1/2010 Aromasin (exemestane) Hormonal Therapy 2/1/2011 Dx 9/9/2012, ILC, Stage IV, Grade 3, ER+/PR-, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 9/9/2012 Femara (letrozole) Chemotherapy 3/29/2013 Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy 8/16/2013 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Chemotherapy 3/20/2014 Carboplatin (Paraplatin)
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Posts 61 - 90 (4,845 total)

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Jul 27, 2010 06:59PM MicheleS wrote:

when you let co-workers feel your Foobs to see how dang hard TE's are and no-one thinks you are strange anymore...

TNBC dx 12/26/2008, Stage I
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Jul 27, 2010 07:00PM changes wrote:

Anacortes Girl - this was a GREAT idea for a thread! I've been reading through these and laughed and laughed! I particularly loved the post by Momand2kids. Keep them coming!

IDC Stage 1, Grade 1 Dx 5/14/2010, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 5/26/2010 Lumpectomy: Left Hormonal Therapy Radiation Therapy
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Jul 27, 2010 07:21PM MicheleS wrote:

when your name has been on the church bulletin for over a year.

when your response to anything bad/painful/stressful (but not cancer-related) is "well, at least it's not chemo"...

TNBC dx 12/26/2008, Stage I
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Jul 27, 2010 07:26PM MicheleS wrote:

when you vomit just thinking about the chemo-suite...

when you vomit in the elevator on the way to see your onc (and you aren't on chemo-anymore!)

when your pharmacist knows you by name...

when your pharmacist calls to check up on you because you haven't been in for a while (happened today! LOL!).

when your onc texts you a "happy birthday" message and you cry hysterically.

when your therapist hugs you and she isn't a "huggy" type of therapist.

TNBC dx 12/26/2008, Stage I
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Jul 27, 2010 07:51PM pickle wrote:

When you're the envy of everyone at Girls night out because you didn't have to pay for your Brazillian

Dx
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Jul 28, 2010 01:10AM still-kickin wrote:

When people STOP teasing you about your age on your birthday and congratulate you ....and your proud .

When you are still in your pj's, drinking coffee at 10 a.m. on Monday morning and you start complaining cos you WANT to  go to work.

We might not have it all together, but, together we have it all Dx 4/8/2008, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IV, Grade 3, mets, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Jul 28, 2010 01:15AM DiDel wrote:

When you buy Nair hair remover for your face and Biotin supplements and Nioxin shampoo all in the same purchase!

Dx 11/12/2009, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/8 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (FISH) Surgery 12/22/2009 Mastectomy: Right Chemotherapy 3/16/2010 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Hormonal Therapy 8/14/2010 Dx 10/28/2015, IDC, Right, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/8/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 1/31/2016 3DCRT: Chest wall
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Jul 28, 2010 01:41AM redskies wrote:

your total lack of fear makes new car salespersons sweat.

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Jul 28, 2010 02:49AM krcll wrote:

when you go in the pharmacy and actually know what all the drugs are for because you already have most of them in your medicine cabinet!

FEC100/Taxol/rads/Tykerb/Herceptin (ALTTO trial) and Femara Dx 7/29/2009, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 9/13 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+
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Jul 28, 2010 02:50AM krcll wrote:

when you smile very broadly at anyone else with super-short hair because you are convinced they also have chemo-hair.

FEC100/Taxol/rads/Tykerb/Herceptin (ALTTO trial) and Femara Dx 7/29/2009, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 9/13 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+
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Jul 28, 2010 02:58AM krcll wrote:

when you break down crying at Penny's because you had heard they had mastectomy bras and you kept looking and looking and didn't find them and you just didn't want to do the hushed voice thing of asking if they had -whisper-"masctectomy" bras and, damn it, I just want to be like everyone else and be able buy my bras without feeling like I am a freak just because I have to have a pocket in mine!!

FEC100/Taxol/rads/Tykerb/Herceptin (ALTTO trial) and Femara Dx 7/29/2009, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 9/13 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+
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Jul 28, 2010 05:46AM hymil wrote:

,,,, and when your lovely daughter immediately drags you round to the "barely-there extra uplift for skinny/tarty teens" section and you want to cry all over again...

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Jul 28, 2010 08:33AM Karen09 wrote:

....when you have bought enough immodium to have shares in the company....and are afraid to go out in public without it. 

....and when you have a planned "outing" with friends, get the diarrhea, and pop an Immodium like nothing and go about your plans.  Before BC I would have cancelled and taken it easy.  During BC, going out with friends was too precious to cancel barring an emergency and diarrhea was too normal to let it ruin the day. 

Dx 6/8/2009, IDC, 4cm, Stage IIIA, 0/7 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2-
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Jul 28, 2010 09:33AM AussieSheila wrote:

When you turn up at the prearranged time for an Estee Lauder make-over, determined not to buy anything afterwards, but get anything you want for nothing because your scarf fell off.

Sheila.

...........and when the scarf fell off, your naked head was covered in hickeys left behind by son sticking suction cups all over it.

Maybe it is life itself that teaches wisdom to its youth. k d lang ILC dxed in RB '95, mod rad mx 2 pos nodes from 32 ax clearance + A/C x 4 + Tamoxifen x 5yrs. Dx 11/4/2008, ILC, Stage IV, 2/32 nodes, mets, ER+, HER2-
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Jul 28, 2010 09:50AM diana50 wrote:

when your sex life has become motorizedCool (thanks arimidex)
Not today cancer. Nope. Dx 2/26/2002, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIIC, Grade 3, 10/12 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 3/4/2002 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary Chemotherapy 4/3/2002 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 8/6/2002 Hormonal Therapy 8/10/2002 Arimidex (anastrozole) Dx 8/30/2012, IDC, 1cm, Stage IV, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Radiation Therapy 10/2/2012 Bone Chemotherapy 7/8/2014 Taxol (paclitaxel) Chemotherapy 5/6/2015 Ixempra (ixabepilone) Chemotherapy 10/5/2015 Gemzar (gemcitabine) Hormonal Therapy 4/12/2016 Faslodex (fulvestrant)
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Jul 28, 2010 03:22PM KittyDog wrote:



When your seven year old tells the lady at the cash register that the Dr. cut mommy's boob off.

 When you are excited that you only have two hairs under your arm to shave.

When you are happy because somebody tells you that you don't look so yellow and pale anymore.

4 rounds of AC, 3 rounds of Taxol, UMX 3-29-10, 34 rounds of radiation.finished 7-2-10, ooph & hysterectomy 10-25-10, tamoxifen, femara now on to arimidex, Lymphedema arm, trunk, legs and now my neck...grrr Dx 11/24/2009, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIB, Grade 2, 1/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jul 28, 2010 03:24PM KittyDog wrote:

When having a wreck doesn't seem so bad compared to what you have been going through.

4 rounds of AC, 3 rounds of Taxol, UMX 3-29-10, 34 rounds of radiation.finished 7-2-10, ooph & hysterectomy 10-25-10, tamoxifen, femara now on to arimidex, Lymphedema arm, trunk, legs and now my neck...grrr Dx 11/24/2009, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIB, Grade 2, 1/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jul 28, 2010 04:07PM Leah_S wrote:

When shampoo isn't on your shopping list, and hasn't been for months.

Dx 11/3/2008, IDC, 1cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 6/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jul 28, 2010 04:26PM kane744 wrote:

When you're using the lint roller on your head to get out the stubbies!

Dx 9/26/2008, IDC, <1cm, Stage II, Grade 2, 0/14 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Dx 5/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, 0/1 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Surgery 6/25/2012 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left; Prophylactic mastectomy: Right Chemotherapy 7/31/2012 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel)
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Jul 28, 2010 06:00PM Leah_S wrote:

Your idea of a "fashion statement" is color-coordinating your compression sleeves.

Dx 11/3/2008, IDC, 1cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 6/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jul 28, 2010 06:58PM jenn3 wrote:

when you find yourself sitting in the waiting room at a regular dr's appointment telling the people next to you the short cuts (back entrance) into and out of the busy parking garage and through the building(s).

your chest is flatter than your stomach..........

Jenn - June 2009 IDC-TN, Stage III, 02/2011 Stage IV mets to the lungs & spine / Laugh until your belly hurts, then laugh some more...........
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Jul 28, 2010 07:03PM veggy wrote:

When you can count the number of eyelashes and eyebrows you have left.

Biography: "Having cancer gave me membership in an elite club I'd rather not belong to." - Gilda Radner, Saturday Night Live *********** (Me -stage 4)
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Jul 28, 2010 07:34PM mimiof4 wrote:

People keep telling you how good you look, and you wonder, "If I look so good in a wig and have no eyelashes and one eyebrow (the other drawn on), how bad did I look before I had cancer?

Dx 11/9/2009, ILC, 3cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 1, 4/13 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jul 28, 2010 08:54PM changes wrote:

When you are THRILLED instead of depressed at the idea of turning 50!

IDC Stage 1, Grade 1 Dx 5/14/2010, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 5/26/2010 Lumpectomy: Left Hormonal Therapy Radiation Therapy
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Jul 28, 2010 09:00PM KittyDog wrote:

when you are excited to show your facebook friends your fingernails have finally grown back long enough you can paint them.

4 rounds of AC, 3 rounds of Taxol, UMX 3-29-10, 34 rounds of radiation.finished 7-2-10, ooph & hysterectomy 10-25-10, tamoxifen, femara now on to arimidex, Lymphedema arm, trunk, legs and now my neck...grrr Dx 11/24/2009, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIB, Grade 2, 1/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jul 28, 2010 10:03PM Ca1Ripken wrote:

You have used your baby's butt cream..... 

Dx 4/23/2010, IDC, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 1/10 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ Dx 3/13/2013, IDC, Stage IV, mets, ER+/PR-, HER2+
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Jul 28, 2010 10:30PM - edited Jul 28, 2010 10:31PM by Faith316

When the lint roller isn't working so well on your head anymore so you start using duct tape to get those "prickles" out.  Duct tape works great.  Here is the funniest thing we did.  I had some "prickles" that just wouldn't fall out and the lint roller and duct tape wouldn't pull them out.  I was so tired of having them.  My friend got a pair of really fine point tweezers and for hours over several days, would patiently sit and pick my prickles out.  He guesses he picked out several thousand.  Now, that is a TRUE friend!
DX 4/08 IDC, ER-, PR-, HER2+, IIB, Grade 3,lumpectomy,2/8 nodes,4 AC,12 wks.Taxol,Herceptin,30 rads. DX IBC 6/09 while still in treatment. Now Stage III. 6 mo. of Xeloda done, still on Tykerb. Uni-mx & another node dissection 2/4/10.
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Jul 28, 2010 10:34PM Faith316 wrote:

When everybody wants to touch your head; first when it is bald, and then when the baby-soft duckling fuzz starts growing in.  (Kind of like when you are pregnant and everybody wants to rub your belly.)

DX 4/08 IDC, ER-, PR-, HER2+, IIB, Grade 3,lumpectomy,2/8 nodes,4 AC,12 wks.Taxol,Herceptin,30 rads. DX IBC 6/09 while still in treatment. Now Stage III. 6 mo. of Xeloda done, still on Tykerb. Uni-mx & another node dissection 2/4/10.
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Jul 28, 2010 10:39PM YramAL wrote:

I really have nothing new to add, but I know that I have absolutely no modesty left as far as showing my breasts! They've been squeezed and photographed more times than I can count. I mentioned to the radiation tech that I might as well go without the robe because i just didn't care anymore who saw my boobs, and she said, "Honey, the robes are for the other patients. You don't want to shock them....."

Mary-Oncotype Score 11 Dx 12/7/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jul 28, 2010 11:30PM marcy4 wrote:

I cannot think of anything to add, but I love this thread.  It certainly is good that we can all laugh about what has happened to us.  Despite all the drugs we are  taking, have taken, or will take, laughter really is the best, and easier to take, medicene. 

Dx 1/6/2010, IDC, 4cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 3/15 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+

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