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Topic: You know you're a cancer patient when....

Forum: Humor and Games — Breast cancer is no laughing matter, but sometimes a good joke or a game is the best medicine.

Posted on: Jul 25, 2010 01:49AM - edited Apr 26, 2014 02:00PM by AnacortesGirl

AnacortesGirl wrote:

OK ladies.  I know this may go over like a lead balloon but I have a weird sense of humor.  And in the spirit of Jeff Foxworthy and his redneck jokes I thought we might have enough material to do some cancer jokes. 

You know you are a cancer patient when ...

You read a book and you laugh when the subject has been diagnosed with cancer and their first question to the oncologist is "Will I lose my hair?".

Your onc says that you need a transfusion and you ask "Can I get that from a  nineteen year old?" 

When your onc asks you the folllowing "Are you fatigued? Apetite OK? Any neuropathy? Bowels OK?" and you respond with "Can't you come up with any new questions?" and the onc responds with "I get paid to ask these questions!"

For more short, fun and uplifting posts, click the following link for some cute pics:

Warm & Fuzzy owls, goats, kitties, dogs, birds, ETC. Pics & Links

Christy - BRCA2+; mets to bones and liver, Taxol/Sutent -> AC, BMX - no recon, Rads, Carboplatin, BSO, Veliparib trial (8/30/13-3/13/14) Dx 7/21/2009, ILC, 5cm, Stage IIIC, Grade 3, 14/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 9/1/2010 Aromasin (exemestane) Hormonal Therapy 2/1/2011 Dx 9/9/2012, ILC, Stage IV, Grade 3, ER+/PR-, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 9/9/2012 Femara (letrozole) Chemotherapy 3/29/2013 Xeloda (capecitabine) Hormonal Therapy 8/16/2013 Faslodex (fulvestrant) Chemotherapy 3/20/2014 Carboplatin (Paraplatin)
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Jul 31, 2010 10:16AM Bugs wrote:

When you find yourself explaining to your dr's intern what a PET scan is.  Yes, it happened to me and it was my family dr's intern...not my onc's.  lol

Dx 2/1/2006, IDC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 3/16 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-
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Jul 31, 2010 02:00PM NavyMom wrote:

When you finally get brave enough to ditch your wig and wear a baseball cap instead and a store employee(young man) calls you SIR!

TAC X6 BMX with recon Dx 5/27/2009, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 3/17 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2-
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Jul 31, 2010 04:13PM Susie123 wrote:

When you have to shave the side of your foob instead of your underarm because the skin that use to be under your arm is now on the side of your foob.

When you're feeling pretty good, normal again, until somebody walks up to you with that sad look on their face and asks you if you're alright. For a brief moment you're wondering why they're looking so sad, and then you remember, you have BC.

Dx 12/22/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/8 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jul 31, 2010 05:15PM DCMom wrote:

....you bend over to look at your child's scratched knee and your boob falls out.  (yes happened today)

.....your biggest concern about your puppies chewing is your boob instead of your shoes.

Now go and take on the day! Dx 1/17/2008, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 4/13 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Jul 31, 2010 08:39PM Bugs wrote:

LMAO, Jenn.....you are so right about dog ears!!

Dx 2/1/2006, IDC, Right, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 3, 3/16 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2-
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Jul 31, 2010 11:51PM jenn3 wrote:

I'm really loving this thread...........I keep checking back for a laugh!!!

when your elderly parents and/or pregnant friend insist you sit down while your waiting to be seated at a restaurant..............  even though you're finished treatment and feel fine.

Jenn - June 2009 IDC-TN, Stage III, 02/2011 Stage IV mets to the lungs & spine / Laugh until your belly hurts, then laugh some more...........
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Aug 1, 2010 01:40AM BooBee wrote:

.......when your vagina is as dry as the Sahara Desert.

TCX6, 33 rads, Hister in 05, oopher 09, recon lift, Tamox, Femera Dx 9/24/2008, IDC, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Aug 1, 2010 04:42AM Latte wrote:

when kindness from people you know is appreciated, but the kindness shown to you by people you've never met just blows you away and reduces you to tears.

 (I love this thread!)

30 Dec 2012: It's back! Stage IV, bone mets to spine, hip, femur, rads, Zometa, Letrozole. May 2013: further spread to ribs, skull, iliac, plus suspicious spots in lung and liver. Clinical trial with taxol and carbo plus velaparib/placebo. Dx 5/3/2010, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIIC, 1/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 6/4/2010 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 10/28/2010 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Radiation Therapy 12/12/2010 Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery 3/16/2011 Prophylactic ovary removal Hormonal Therapy 3/18/2011 Dx 12/30/2012, IDC, Stage IV, mets, ER+/PR-, HER2- Radiation Therapy 3/3/2013 Bone Hormonal Therapy 3/11/2013 Femara (letrozole) Chemotherapy 5/14/2013 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxol (paclitaxel)
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Aug 1, 2010 03:13PM greytmom_17 wrote:

when you realize rain rolls right off your bald head into your eyes with no hair to stop it.

when someone complements your "hair cut" and you reply it's a "hair grow!"

Lynn Dx 3/3/2009, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/2 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2-
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Aug 1, 2010 03:18PM Claire82 wrote:

when your 2 year old granddaughter pulls off your wig because she wants to put it on and dance in front of the mirror.

“Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see Life with a clearer view again.” Dx 12/22/2009, DCIS, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/4 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2-
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Aug 1, 2010 03:26PM dutchgirl6 wrote:

when you can trim your bangs by simply adjusting your wig

Dx 12/18/2009, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 2/23 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 1/31/2010 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel Surgery 2/21/2010 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary Chemotherapy 4/26/2010 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Ellence (epirubicin), Fluorouracil (5-fluorouracil, 5-FU, Adrucil), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 9/5/2010 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 10/31/2010 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Hormonal Therapy 4/29/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Aug 1, 2010 05:09PM - edited Aug 1, 2010 05:12PM by KittyDog

When your dog thinks your foob is a nice pilllow.  

She is blind and I had put it on the floor because it was still wet from the beach.

4 rounds of AC, 3 rounds of Taxol, UMX 3-29-10, 34 rounds of radiation.finished 7-2-10, ooph & hysterectomy 10-25-10, tamoxifen, femara now on to arimidex, Lymphedema arm, trunk, legs and now my neck...grrr Dx 11/24/2009, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIB, Grade 2, 1/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Aug 1, 2010 05:20PM Claire82 wrote:

roflmao

“Perhaps our eyes need to be washed by our tears once in a while, so that we can see Life with a clearer view again.” Dx 12/22/2009, DCIS, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/4 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2-
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Aug 1, 2010 05:29PM dutchgirl6 wrote:

dogs, you've gotta love them

Dx 12/18/2009, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 2, 2/23 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 1/31/2010 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel Surgery 2/21/2010 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary Chemotherapy 4/26/2010 Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Ellence (epirubicin), Fluorouracil (5-fluorouracil, 5-FU, Adrucil), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 9/5/2010 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 10/31/2010 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Hormonal Therapy 4/29/2013 Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Aug 1, 2010 05:59PM justpayton1 wrote:

Thats the best!!! thanks for the laugh

Dx 2/9/2009, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IV, Grade 3, 2/13 nodes, mets, ER-/PR-, HER2-
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Aug 1, 2010 09:44PM weesa wrote:

When you put as much energy into planning your cancerversary as you do New Year's and Thanksgiving...

Sometimes I wonder if I am an old soul temporarily trapped in a breast cancer body. Dx 11/22/2002, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 5/25 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 1/20/2003 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 6/14/2003 Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 8/23/2003 Femara (letrozole) Surgery Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): Latissimus dorsi flap
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Aug 1, 2010 09:45PM weesa wrote:

When you see a big hunk of chocolate and automatically think of Konakat.

Sometimes I wonder if I am an old soul temporarily trapped in a breast cancer body. Dx 11/22/2002, IDC, 6cm+, Stage IIIA, Grade 2, 5/25 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Chemotherapy 1/20/2003 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Radiation Therapy 6/14/2003 Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 8/23/2003 Femara (letrozole) Surgery Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): Latissimus dorsi flap
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Aug 1, 2010 09:56PM gillyone wrote:

when the kids at preschool see you with hair for the first time in months (after hats and scarves) and say Miss Gillian, did you get a haircut?

Dx 6/5/2009, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIIC, Grade 3, 9/15 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2-
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Aug 1, 2010 09:56PM amlg1 wrote:

When you want more chemo (for reassurance)

Anna.7/22/11 mets to spinal fluid.7/1/2011 now met to brain:( Stage IV Dx 4/22/2009, ILC, 2cm, Stage IIIC, Grade 3, 31/34 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+
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Aug 1, 2010 10:16PM Wonderland wrote:

Kittydog: Precious picture!

When you carry extra underwear in your pocketbook and in your tote bag "just in case."

"Put on your coat. It's easier to stay warm than it is to get warm." George the Llama Man Dx 11/2006, IDC, <1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 2/36 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 11/27/2006 Lymph node removal: Left, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left Chemotherapy 1/2/2007 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 6/5/2007 Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 9/22/2007 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Surgery 9/9/2009 Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap Hormonal Therapy 9/20/2009 Arimidex (anastrozole)
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Aug 1, 2010 10:46PM kittycat wrote:

When you look at your dogs and cats with envy because they have so much hair!

When it takes you less time than your husband to get ready.

When my entire sales team wore pink (including the guys) in honor of me (that brought me to tears). 

2 time survivor of triple negative BC, postiive for BRCA1 gene mutation! 9 surgeries, 5 months of chemo and 6 weeks of radiation. Dx 6/17/2009, DCIS, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 2, 0/0 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Dx 4/30/2010, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/10 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 6/16/2010 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 11/15/2010
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Aug 1, 2010 10:50PM Paula1231 wrote:

All you want is liquor and dessert..

Miles to go before I sleep. LBMX on 8/17/10.TE with Alloderm. OncoDX score 18. 4 AC + 4 Taxol DD. Chemo done 2-3-11 Start Tamox 2/24/11. Implant & Maxopexy 3/29/11. Nipp recon & fat trans 7/12/11. Nip Tat 10/6/11 DONE!! Started Femara on 3/28/13. Dx 6/26/2010, IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Aug 1, 2010 10:52PM kittycat wrote:

You're happy to be able to shave your armpits because before your exchange surgery your foobs were in your armpits! 

Shopping for bras post bmx & recon becomes an interesting experiment!

2 time survivor of triple negative BC, postiive for BRCA1 gene mutation! 9 surgeries, 5 months of chemo and 6 weeks of radiation. Dx 6/17/2009, DCIS, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 2, 0/0 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Dx 4/30/2010, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/10 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 6/16/2010 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 11/15/2010
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Aug 1, 2010 10:53PM swanseagirl wrote:

You know you have cancer when you buy everything on that darn chemo list and set them next to your 3 wigs.  Yea, I know, 3?????????????????????????????????

Dx 5/10/2010, ILC, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Aug 1, 2010 10:54PM kittycat wrote:

Paula - that is sooooo true!!  I can't drink alcohol right now (in chemo fog), but had my husband go out twice today to get me a DQ blizzard and a Jamba Juice smoothie!  Everything else tastes like yuck!!!

2 time survivor of triple negative BC, postiive for BRCA1 gene mutation! 9 surgeries, 5 months of chemo and 6 weeks of radiation. Dx 6/17/2009, DCIS, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 2, 0/0 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Dx 4/30/2010, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/10 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 6/16/2010 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 11/15/2010
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Aug 1, 2010 10:57PM kittycat wrote:

You find yourself shopping online for new wigs to get a new hairdo or color!  LOL!!! 

2 time survivor of triple negative BC, postiive for BRCA1 gene mutation! 9 surgeries, 5 months of chemo and 6 weeks of radiation. Dx 6/17/2009, DCIS, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 2, 0/0 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Dx 4/30/2010, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/10 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 6/16/2010 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 11/15/2010
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Aug 1, 2010 11:02PM swanseagirl wrote:

You know you have cancer when you are sat at the computer laughing at "you know you have cancer" threads. LOL

Dx 5/10/2010, ILC, 1cm, Stage IIA, Grade 1, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Aug 1, 2010 11:36PM AsiaYM wrote:

when your grandson at age of 5 said, " Grand-mom! you need to shave your face."

Diagnosis: 6/2009, stage IIIa,IDC,TAC
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Aug 1, 2010 11:39PM kittycat wrote:

When you keep having parts removed from your body in hopes to keep the cancer from coming back (first bmx for me, next hysterectomy/oopherectomy).  fun fun!!!

2 time survivor of triple negative BC, postiive for BRCA1 gene mutation! 9 surgeries, 5 months of chemo and 6 weeks of radiation. Dx 6/17/2009, DCIS, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 2, 0/0 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Dx 4/30/2010, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/10 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 6/16/2010 AC + T (Taxol) Radiation Therapy 11/15/2010
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Aug 1, 2010 11:43PM BrendaAreYouA4 wrote:

you know you have cancer when you tell a cancer joke to non-cancer friends and they look at you horrified while you are cracking up at your own joke.

Bilateral Mx, DIEP reconstruction with hemorrhage, clotting, staph infection in one breast, oopherectomy, 14 surgeries for complications, TC X 4, Arimedex for next 5 years. Dx 8/28/2009, IDC, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-

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