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Topic: i was just told i don't have "real" cancer, lol

Forum: Humor and Games — Breast cancer is no laughing matter, but sometimes a good joke or a game is the best medicine.

Posted on: Aug 6, 2017 04:44PM

Dodes wrote:

thought this was pretty funny -

i was just at the pet store and there was a woman there, with bedazzled pink ribbons on her purse, pink bc shirt, pink toe and fingernails....

and she was wearing the MOST gorgeous headscarf. seeing what i thought was a "sister", i told her how much i liked her scarf, and asked where she got it from, in case i needed one IF i had to have chemo.

she gave me the once over, and asked what i had. (idc) then asked my stage. (1 at this point) then asked my grade (1). then she looked down her nose at me and said " you don't have real cancer, stage 1, grade 1 is really just precancer." i thanked her for that info, and told her i would let my BS know that before my mastectomy took place. she just huffed and we went our separate ways.

thankfully, no one else was in the aisle to overhear it. took me right back to jr high, i guess some mean girls never grow up. that'll teach me to open my big mouth, lol

anyway, i thought it was funny. and a little sad, but still cracked me up. ;)

threaten me or my family, and i'll cut you out of my life... just ask my left breast.... Dx 7/13/2017, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/24/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left Hormonal Therapy Aromasin (exemestane)
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Aug 6, 2017 04:47PM Mucki1991 wrote:

well just sucks I'm sorry she was such a turf to you.. Your response was a good one though

Rebekah Dx 5/5/2017, ILC/IDC/IDC: Papillary, Left, 3cm, Stage IIB, Grade 3, 3/7 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 7/14/2017 Mastectomy: Left; Prophylactic mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Chemotherapy 8/22/2017 AC + T (Taxol) Surgery 2/8/2018 Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant Radiation Therapy 2/26/2018 3DCRT: Breast, Lymph nodes, Chest wall Hormonal Therapy 4/20/2018 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Surgery 9/17/2018 Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap; Reconstruction (right): DIEP flap Surgery 1/25/2019
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Aug 6, 2017 04:51PM wrenn wrote:

I felt bad for you until I read your response. You won. :-)

Metaplastic IDC Triple negative...Tumour is 1.5cm. BMX Aug. 16th. Chemo cancelled after one dose due to complications. Dx 7/25/2013, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/6 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Surgery 8/16/2013 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel, Underarm/Axillary; Mastectomy: Left, Right
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Aug 6, 2017 04:58PM mittmott wrote:

That was exactly what it was Mean girls crap... Just because you have a worse stage cancer it doesn't mean you are a nice person.. Your cancer has nothing to do with how you are as a person. Years ago, I misread a post on the stage 4 boards and I related what someone said about Breast Cancer. Nothing to do with me, I'm stage 1. The person told me they thought when you had a mast. you were cured forever. I was trying to make the point that many women are uneducated about Breast Cancer, and that it was scary that they aren't better informed. One person on that board laced into me like I can't tell you. I kept trying to explain what I just mentioned and that I had misread the original question to begin with and that I was sorry for posting on the stage 4 board. OMG , it got worse, she kept going on about my new postings apologizing, saying you are still posting here. I was at my computer in tears.. I truly meant nothing, meant to hurt no one, and with each apology she attacked me more.. I private messaged her and told her she was a bully. Of course she took it and ran with that ,,, OOOH someone with stage one was calling a stage 4 a bully. I finally had to block her and report her to the mods. I received very nice private posts from many of the stage 4 girls telling me she had done this to others in the past. She is no longer on the boards.. I think the mods warned her, and she didn't want to be on these boards anymore. You find mean people in all walks of life, sick, well, etc... Don't let it get to you.. And thank God you are only stage 1... Yes it is cancer, but it does make our odds better, I pray, lol.

Dx 9/2000, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 3, 0/10 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 9/8/2000 Lumpectomy: Left Dx 9/2006, IDC, <1cm, Stage I, Grade 3 Surgery 9/1/2006 Lymph node removal: Left; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left): Latissimus dorsi flap, Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Latissimus dorsi flap, Tissue expander placement
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Aug 6, 2017 04:58PM Nancy2581 wrote:

People can be so dumb sometimes. You got the last laugh though - good job

Nancy

2.8 cm tumor with LVI Dx 6/11/2014, IDC, Right, 2cm, Stage IIB, Grade 1, 1/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 6/24/2014 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Right, Sentinel Chemotherapy 7/22/2014 AC + T (Taxol) Hormonal Therapy 1/28/2015 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Radiation Therapy 1/29/2015 Whole-breast: Breast, Lymph nodes Hormonal Therapy 12/17/2017 Femara (letrozole)
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Aug 6, 2017 05:07PM Blinkie wrote:

Dodes - Thanks for sharing that story. Cancer snobbery. Wow.

I got comments that what I had (DCIS and then, 9 years later IDC) was not "real" cancer. However, these comments were not from other cancer patients. They were from healthcare providers, family, and not real friends.

No doubt the problems I have now that were caused by cancer treatment are not "real" problems. haha.

Thanks for posting.

Dx 3/2007, DCIS, Right, 1cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER+/PR- Dx 5/2016, DCIS/IDC, Left, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, ER+/PR-, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 9/1/2016 Arimidex (anastrozole) Radiation Therapy Breast Surgery Lumpectomy: Left Radiation Therapy Breast, Lymph nodes Surgery Lumpectomy: Right
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Aug 6, 2017 05:23PM Brightness456 wrote:

Is this like being "a little" pregnant? :\

I want to believe she just couldn't help it, that maybe that's just how she works through her pain and fear, but goodness, I'm sure your fear and pain is real too. I'm sorry she treated you that way

Invasive ductal carcinoma Dx 6/2017, IDC, Right, <1cm, Stage IA, 0/5 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ (FISH) Surgery 8/9/2017 Lumpectomy; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Chemotherapy 9/13/2017 Taxol (paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 9/13/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab)
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Aug 6, 2017 05:28PM marijen wrote:

So now it's a competitive sport? My goodness.

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Aug 6, 2017 05:44PM Dodes wrote:

i felt bad, because i wanted to wish her well, but then i was just like, dang girl......



threaten me or my family, and i'll cut you out of my life... just ask my left breast.... Dx 7/13/2017, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/24/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left Hormonal Therapy Aromasin (exemestane)
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Aug 6, 2017 06:12PM - edited Aug 6, 2017 06:15PM by Kicks

I think I would have asked her just what was her DX or who in her family or friends was she wereing pink for.

'Loud mouthed' me would have liked for others to have been around to hear her get told facts.

Dodes - you did good! You handled it and what 'we' might have done in the same situation doesn't matter. You were there and did great! Don't dwell on on the ignorance/stupidity of others

Dx 8/7/2009, IBC, Stage IIIC, 19/19 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Chemotherapy 8/25/2009 AC Surgery 10/21/2009 Lymph node removal: Right; Mastectomy: Right Chemotherapy 11/11/2009 Taxol (paclitaxel) Radiation Therapy 2/4/2010 Breast, Lymph nodes
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Aug 6, 2017 06:17PM marijen wrote:

Who knows maybe she was just faking it to get attention. If mastectomy doesn't qualify for real cancer I don't know what does? She must be misinformed. Too bad you didn't get a pic of all the pink ribbons etc. maybe an imposter.

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Aug 6, 2017 06:46PM NotVeryBrave wrote:

Good for you to find the humor in that exchange!

Competitive sport? That cracked me up!


TCHP x 6 with pCR. One year of Herceptin. DTI pre-pec surgery. Quit Tamoxifen after 3 months. Dx 11/21/2016, DCIS/IDC, Left, 2cm, Stage IIA, Grade 2, 0/3 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2+ (IHC) Targeted Therapy 12/19/2016 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Chemotherapy 12/19/2016 Carboplatin (Paraplatin), Taxotere (docetaxel) Targeted Therapy 12/19/2016 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Surgery 5/9/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left; Prophylactic mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (left): Silicone implant; Reconstruction (right): Silicone implant Hormonal Therapy 9/9/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone) Hormonal Therapy 6/26/2020 Evista (raloxifene)
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Aug 6, 2017 08:48PM - edited Aug 6, 2017 09:01PM by marijen

Yes she who lives longest wins, extra points for higher stages and grades and suffering. Sucks. It never occurred to me to paint it pink and pin ribbons allover. Funny if it weren't so sad. And my sister thinks she's winning, she has supra ventricular tachicardia. Said she's more likely to die sooner. So she who dies sooner wins Crazy or what? I'm a little confused about the rules. Obviously no sympathy for me from sis. You know if I make it five years without recurrence I'm cured, according to her the one that knows nothing about bc. I don't think so. It's the second five years with hormone positive.

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Aug 6, 2017 08:57PM beach2beach wrote:

You ladies made my night. Happy

Dx 7/28/2017, LCIS/DCIS/ILC, Right, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/8/2017 Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Hormonal Therapy 9/12/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Aug 6, 2017 09:28PM Dodes wrote:

hey, this lady was olympic material if it's gonna be a competition. i'll happily be disqualified in the first heat for a false start. bwahahaha!

Loopy

threaten me or my family, and i'll cut you out of my life... just ask my left breast.... Dx 7/13/2017, IDC, Left, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 8/24/2017 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left Hormonal Therapy Aromasin (exemestane)
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Aug 6, 2017 10:25PM marijen wrote:

Yes, I just realized I'm at the wrong event. It was all a terrible mistake

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Aug 6, 2017 10:32PM Linwentz wrote:

Perfect response, Jenks. I would have wanted to strangle her with her headscarf

Dx 7/12/2017, DCIS, Left, 4cm, Stage 0, Grade 3, ER-/PR- Surgery 7/28/2017 Lumpectomy: Left Surgery 9/12/2017 Lumpectomy: Left Surgery 9/22/2017 Lumpectomy: Left Radiation Therapy 10/23/2017 Whole-breast: Breast
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Aug 7, 2017 12:14AM Beatmon wrote:

What a Bitch! Do we get prizes for each stage? How about the lady thst said she was Stage 5

Dx 7/27/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 8/9/2012 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right Surgery 12/1/2013 Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 7/1/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Dx 8/9/2014, IDC, Both breasts, Stage IV, metastasized to lungs, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Targeted Therapy 8/27/2014 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 8/27/2014 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Chemotherapy 8/27/2014 Taxotere (docetaxel)
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Aug 7, 2017 12:56AM - edited Aug 7, 2017 12:56AM by marijen

Dead woman walking?.


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Aug 7, 2017 01:17AM hippiegirl wrote:

Wow. REALLY?! Some human beings mystify me.

A sense of humor will get us through.

HeartHippie Girl

Dx 2/2017, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 1, 0/2 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 4/27/2017 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy
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Aug 7, 2017 02:57AM - edited Aug 7, 2017 03:01AM by LilacBlue

I had a similar exchange when I was in active treatment, happened at the 2012 London Olympics. Was in line for a cold drink and the woman ahead of me was in headscarf and I was 5 weeks out from mastectomy/reconstruction. We got to talking and she asked when I'd have chemo and stated I did not have to have chemo. I too was dismissed, but you know, I could see this women had been through so much and also felt though her words she was strong; we do need that . Wished her well and we parted on friendly terms. Who knows the backstory, the women I encountered could have been stage IV. I did not ask and at the time, did not matter. I was a bit touchy early on because in not having chemo or radio, perhaps my two small tumors and lakes of dcis, weren't really considered having cancer treatment by some. Since then, learned none of us are the enemy. Humor does get us through, sometimes we are the only ones laughing, yet compassion goes a long way to help healing. My best to you Dodes and wishing you a smooth recovery.

Nothing is ever the same as they said it was. It's what I've never seen before that I recognise. - Diane Arbus Dx 4/13/2012, DCIS/IDC, 1cm, Stage IB, Grade 2, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 6/12/2012 Lymph node removal: Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left; Reconstruction (left): DIEP flap, Nipple reconstruction
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Aug 7, 2017 08:54PM Spookiesmom wrote:

You did good, that's the reply I'd have thought of later at night when trying to sleep. 😍

Reoccurrence 3-19. Dx IDC, Stage IIIA, Grade 3
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Aug 7, 2017 09:10PM marijen wrote:

Agree, that was a great answer.

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Aug 7, 2017 09:29PM illimae wrote:

Wow, what an unfortunate attitude. Life is short, I wouldn't want to spend my time or energy that way but I've seen others thrive on this you vs me crap.

Beatmon, did someone actually claim to be stage 5?! I can't even imagine, smh...

Diagnosed at 41 Stage IV De Novo Dx 11/16/2016, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ (IHC) Chemotherapy 1/1/2017 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Surgery 6/26/2017 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary Radiation Therapy 8/10/2017 Breast, Lymph nodes Dx 10/5/2017, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+, HER2+ (IHC) Radiation Therapy 10/19/2017 External: Brain Radiation Therapy 4/18/2018 External: Brain Radiation Therapy 5/22/2019 External: Brain Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Aug 7, 2017 10:32PM marijen wrote:

I wish there was a picture of this lady in all of her pink glory. I keep trying to imagine her

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Aug 7, 2017 11:19PM Beatmon wrote:

Illimae, absolutely....I and think I've seen some one here state that. Maybe Stage 5 is crossing over! Lo

Dx 7/27/2012, IDC, <1cm, Stage IA, Grade 3, 0/1 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Surgery 8/9/2012 Lymph node removal: Left, Sentinel; Mastectomy: Left, Right Surgery 12/1/2013 Reconstruction (left): Tissue expander placement; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 7/1/2014 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Dx 8/9/2014, IDC, Both breasts, Stage IV, metastasized to lungs, Grade 3, ER-/PR-, HER2+ Targeted Therapy 8/27/2014 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 8/27/2014 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Chemotherapy 8/27/2014 Taxotere (docetaxel)
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Aug 7, 2017 11:42PM illimae wrote:

beatmon, I guess stage 5 could've been meant that way. I'm in a fitbit group here called stage 5 but it is sort of playfully referring to what's next or beyond IV but alive and well, of course.

Some people though...

Diagnosed at 41 Stage IV De Novo Dx 11/16/2016, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to bone, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2+ (IHC) Chemotherapy 1/1/2017 Abraxane (albumin-bound or nab-paclitaxel) Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Herceptin (trastuzumab) Targeted Therapy 1/1/2017 Perjeta (pertuzumab) Surgery 6/26/2017 Lumpectomy: Left; Lymph node removal: Underarm/Axillary Radiation Therapy 8/10/2017 Breast, Lymph nodes Dx 10/5/2017, IDC, Left, 5cm, Stage IV, metastasized to brain, Grade 3, 3/13 nodes, ER+, HER2+ (IHC) Radiation Therapy 10/19/2017 External: Brain Radiation Therapy 4/18/2018 External: Brain Radiation Therapy 5/22/2019 External: Brain Hormonal Therapy Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Aug 8, 2017 12:25AM - edited Aug 8, 2017 12:26AM by ChiSandy

"Stage V" are the ghosts who come back to torment a$holes like Pink Lady (who reminds me of those guys who whip it out on the playground to see whose is larger). Breast cancer is neither a game of “can you top this?" nor a pi$ing contest.

Dismissing Stage I as “precancer" or "not real cancer" is ridiculous. Mine was Stage IA, and I don't consider our DCIS sisters to not have “real cancer." Lumpectomy is major surgery. SNBs can give rise to seromas & hematomas (and some can burst and have long & gruesome healing periods). Not everyone sails through rads. AIs have side effects which we have to go through for five years or longer. And lymphedema & cording is very much a “thing."

When I was diagnosed I dropped out of the cast of the Bar Show (the annual Bar Assn. musical) because I wasn't sure what my treatment would be, how I'd hold up during it, and it wouldn't have been fair to the show to give a compromised performance. So I wrote for the show instead, which I could do via e-mail & teleconference. When I showed up at the after-party, half the people there said “You have hair! You kept your breasts! You’re not emaciated! So you didn't have cancer after all? Yay!"

Oy.

Diagnosed at 64 on routine annual mammo, no lump. OncotypeDX 16. I cried because I had no shoes...but then again, I won’t get blisters.... Dx 9/9/2015, IDC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/4 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- (IHC) Surgery 9/23/2015 Lumpectomy: Right Radiation Therapy 11/2/2015 3DCRT: Breast Hormonal Therapy 12/31/2015 Femara (letrozole)
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Aug 8, 2017 01:52PM inccmd wrote:

Loved the laughs from this thread. And Dodes your response was wonderful - would love to such a fast perfect comeback, but I'm hardly ever that quick.

We're all in this together, why beat each other down? I would have rather been a spectator, but at least there's support & laughter here..

Dx 4/25/2017, ILC, Right, 1cm, Stage IA, Grade 2, 0/5 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 5/25/2017 Lumpectomy: Right; Lymph node removal: Sentinel Radiation Therapy 8/1/2017 Whole-breast: Breast Hormonal Therapy 9/16/2017 Tamoxifen pills (Nolvadex, Apo-Tamox, Tamofen, Tamone)
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Aug 8, 2017 02:22PM marijen wrote:

Dodes is you ever see this lady again, please take a picture!

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