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Topic: Jewish High Holy Days

Forum: Prayers and Spiritual Support —

A safe place to find comfort in and share words of prayer, healing, and encouragement.

Posted on: Sep 6, 2011 02:15AM

rachelvk wrote:

I'm newly diagnosed and grappling with the thought of getting through my first Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. Thankfully, perhaps, I will likely be recovering from surgery and won't be at services, but that doesn't mean that I'm not faced with a completely different view on the whole 'who shall live and who shall die' part. I just thought I'd start a thread and see if there's anyone else out there with similar thoughts, or who had experiences to share.

BMX 10/26/11; TACx6 12/13, 1/5, 1/26, 2/16, 3/8, 3/29; Keep focused on the light at the end of the tunnel.... it's where you get your health back and your life. Dx 8/16/2011, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/7 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Surgery 10/25/2011 Mastectomy: Left, Right Chemotherapy 12/12/2011 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 6/6/2012 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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Oct 9, 2011 09:09AM Eema wrote:

Gmar chatima tovah, ladies!

Leah, that is a very interesting approach. My rabbi and I discussed that I would just not eat "happy food," but I like that approach better.

I felt like I had to fall on my sword this Yom Kippur. The older ladies in my shul (small Sephardi) who come to shul only a couple times a year wanted to talk to me during Davening, and I figured I was doing something good by listening to them. It got out of hand, though, even to the point that one said to me, "are you reading, or can I talk to you?" I reminded myself these ladies are all 85+ and figured H" put me there for a reason. When I finally had a chance to daven after they left, my DS came in to remind me that he is 6 and not required to fast. I had brought him crackers, but it was 3:00 and he was hungry! I'm 1.1 miles from shul, so once we walked back home, I was exhausted and couldn't make it back for Neila. I hope Sukkot will be quieter. If nothing else, I will sit in the first row, outside of the chatting section.

Hope the rest of you had a meaningful fast, if your could!

"I've got the biggest balls of them all!" Angus Young, Malcolm Young, and Bon Scott. (AC/DC) Dx 4/14/2011, DCIS, 2cm, Stage 0, Grade 2, 0/0 nodes, ER+/PR+
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Oct 9, 2011 09:32AM EnglishMajor wrote:

 Hi all

Very insterestnig discussion!

 My mother was Jewish and my father was Irish. Our surname is a very common Irish name. During my first meeting with my surgeon she asked if I had any more questions. I mentioned I was of Ashkenazi descent and given my mother died of bc should I do genetic testing? 

I could tell the surgeon was very surprised--she never considered I might be Jewish.

I was sent forthwith to do the BRCA1/2 test--I don't have the mutation, but I have read a lot about it: 

People of Jewish descent have a higher risk for a genetic mutation which in turn carries a higher risk for breast and/or ovarian cancer.

Ashkenazi (Eastern European) Jews are 10 times more likely to have mutations in BRCA1 and BRCA 2 genes than the general population. Approximately 2.65 percent of the Ashkenazi Jewish population has a mutation in these genes, while only 0.2 percent of the general population carries these mutations. 

 Having an abnormal BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene doesn't mean you will be diagnosed with breast cancer: Only seven percent of breast cancers in Ashkenazi women are caused by alterations in BRCA1 and BRCA2 (See www.genome.gov/10000507.)

Most cancer just happens-it's sporadic vs. heriditary. The majority of people who develop breast cancer didn't inherit an abnormal breast cancer gene and have no family history. But about five percent of people have a genetic mutation which predisposes them to cancer.

Young Jewish women with breast cancer should check out Sharsheret . Founded in November 2001, the group addresses the genetic risk of developing breast cancer in Jewish women of Ashkenazi descent, pregnancy after diagnosis, parenting, relationships and intimacy, the role of religion in daily life with cancer, and the impact of breast cancer on religious ritual and spirituality. 

www.sharsheret.org/blog 

Dx 7/6/2009, IDC, 3cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 9, 2011 10:56AM rachelvk wrote:

Welcome to sweatyspice, SAB and EnglishMajor (and anyone else I missed welcoming personally). Englishmajor - glad to know another nice Jewish Irish girl! My great-grandfather was Irish, and I get a kick out of wearing green on St. Patrick's Day.

Eema, I'm sorry there were so many distractions for you. I sat with a woman who has served as my surrogate mother since I joined and offered to be by my side if I needed this year, and it was good to have her squeeze my hand whenever she realized I had tears about to stream down my cheek. Talking with her seemed a small thing to trade for the comfort. Having my sister and her almost 6-month old son was also a blessing. The entire congregation wants to adopt him now, and I was so proud to hold him for the first time he got to see the ark opened. I can only hope some of this makes an impression on him down the line.

I am very glad I joined the choir this year. On the one hand, it was chaotic having to get up and down from my seat during parts of the service, but it was a welcome distraction. I don't think I skimped at all on the repentence side of thing - basically that's been my mindset for the past 2 months. But if all my concentration had been on the Shma Koleinu and Al Heit, I might not have made it through. 

BMX 10/26/11; TACx6 12/13, 1/5, 1/26, 2/16, 3/8, 3/29; Keep focused on the light at the end of the tunnel.... it's where you get your health back and your life. Dx 8/16/2011, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/7 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Surgery 10/25/2011 Mastectomy: Left, Right Chemotherapy 12/12/2011 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 6/6/2012 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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Oct 9, 2011 12:58PM SAB wrote:

English Major- You make a great point about the BRCA.  I also have a non-Jewish surname, and it was only because I asked that the test was offered.  

My holiday was quiet; my older daughter surprised me by coming home from school.  Imagine being woken and hugged in your bed at midnight by your child!  It was such a gift. I was just bummed I couldn't stuff her full of food all day (she's way too thin Laughing.)  

The question is not to be or not to be. The question is how to be and how not to be. Heschel. Dx 6/2/2011, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/11 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 10, 2011 08:41PM - edited Oct 10, 2011 08:43PM by orangemat

Hello all. I figured I should make an appearance in this thread at some point. As much as I would've liked it not to be, the holidays were rather tough for me this year. Right before the yizkor service, the rabbi asked that everyone who had major health issues and was hospitalized this past year to stand and be honored with a special prayer for their healing. I'm still choking up with tears as I type this, it affected me so hard. I know the option to not stand and be publicly acknowledged was always there, so it wasn't just about being singled out so that people would know I had been ill. I think it was an acknowledgement to myself, finally admitting to myself that I had had the big C.

So I stood up, and participated in the prayer. My husband stood up next to me when it became obvious that I was sobbing and trying to hide under my hair. At that point, it didn't matter that there were some 800 other people in the extended sanctuary... and I had no clue as to who else might be standing as well, because this was just about me. I don't think there was a single day since my DX back in March, to my two surgeries in May and July, when it was really just about ME. Well, I certainly never let it be about me, because then it would be REAL...

Nonetheless, I cried, ruined my makeup, and had even more issues to deal with. Tongue out But it wasn't over yet... the Yizkor service began, and as the rabbi has done is previous years, he read a list of all the synagogue members who had passed away during the course of the year. THEN he read a list of famous people, both Jewish and not, who had died this year as well. For some reason, hearing the names of these people, celebrities of all standings (media, arts, science, politics, you name it) always hits me stronger than hearing the names of members of the synagogue. Whatever, so the service commences and I read silently the prayer that commemorates my father who passed away 9 years ago... and all I can think about is how devastated I am that I'll never have a chance to tell him that I got BC. See, my mom had it when I was 14 (she was 36 at the time), and we weren't allowed to ever talk about it. She had a radical mastectomy as was the norm back then, no other treatment. Several years later, when the option for reconstruction became available, my father told her not to bother. "What do you need another surgery for? You're fine as you are now. Leave it alone."

This was my legacy. Writing this now, I wonder why I even miss him sometimes.... sorry, stream of conciousness here, moving on... so yes, I would've wanted him to see how I did have the reconstruction, and that he was wrong to restrict my mother, just because HE was afraid of things like surgery. Would he have approved? Not the point, because I know I don't need his approval (anymore). Still, it would've been nice to know what he would've thought and said. I'd bet he was proud of me, for being brave when he never was (and he's not even the one who ever had any cancer). Oh well.

So yeah, I cried AGAIN. Granted, I had on waterproof mascara, but after two crying jags like that, there was no hope of recovery. Wink

 My mom (who I've grown up calling "Eema") is still with us, thank goodness, after 3 bouts of cancer and radiation. My father's yahrzeit is in a couple weeks. I suppose I'll be crying again then too.

Thanks for listening. Maybe I should be blogging too. Shanah tovah to all.

Esther: UMX NSM 5/24/11, TE exch & recon 7/13/11, revision to switch for smaller implant 3/5/12; opting out of Tamoxifen Dx 3/17/2011, DCIS, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Surgery 5/24/2011 Lymph node removal: Right; Mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 7/13/2011 Reconstruction (right) Surgery 3/5/2012 Reconstruction (right)
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Oct 10, 2011 08:47PM Eema wrote:

Oh, Esther, I want to give you a big hug!  Sounds like this YT was really hard for you!  Feel free to cry here as much as you need to!

"I've got the biggest balls of them all!" Angus Young, Malcolm Young, and Bon Scott. (AC/DC) Dx 4/14/2011, DCIS, 2cm, Stage 0, Grade 2, 0/0 nodes, ER+/PR+
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Oct 10, 2011 09:14PM rachelvk wrote:

Esther, I'm so sorry the holiday brought all that back. My rabbi's sermon this year was actually exactly about that - learning to forgive our parents for trying to make us the success they may not have been, or were afraid to be, and for parents to forgive their children for not necessarily becoming what they expected them to -- basically for being human, both as parents and children. 

It's so good that you have your mother with you. I hope she's a source of strength for you.

It's interesting that the rabbi expressly asked people with health issues to stand. At my synagogue, we do the prayer for the ill, but the request is that people who wish to say a prayer for someone who is ill may do so; I've been told I can stand myself for this, and I've been putting in a good word for all the great women on this board. 

Hugs to you. We're all here for each other. 

BMX 10/26/11; TACx6 12/13, 1/5, 1/26, 2/16, 3/8, 3/29; Keep focused on the light at the end of the tunnel.... it's where you get your health back and your life. Dx 8/16/2011, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/7 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Surgery 10/25/2011 Mastectomy: Left, Right Chemotherapy 12/12/2011 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 6/6/2012 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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Oct 10, 2011 09:24PM orangemat wrote:

Thank you Eema and rachel. We do the mishuberach (sp) weekly as well, but this was a special part of the Yom Kippur service, to specifically celebrate those who have beaten an illness (as opposed to those who are still ill).

Esther: UMX NSM 5/24/11, TE exch & recon 7/13/11, revision to switch for smaller implant 3/5/12; opting out of Tamoxifen Dx 3/17/2011, DCIS, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Surgery 5/24/2011 Lymph node removal: Right; Mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 7/13/2011 Reconstruction (right) Surgery 3/5/2012 Reconstruction (right)
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Oct 10, 2011 10:13PM 3jaysmom wrote:

Esther, thanks so much for sharing (all ) of that.. don't we ALL have parent/child issues that we work on? i'm lifted up knowing i'm not alone, and yes, here i am, crying again, all over.. these are tears of hapiness; that we;ve found a safe place, with safe people to say how we really feel!!!hope you all had a good fast; however you managed it this year......3jays

3jaysmom Chemotherapy 4/21/2009 Dx DCIS, 2cm, Stage IIB, 1/27 nodes, ER-/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 10, 2011 10:45PM orangemat wrote:

Thanks 3jays... you know, I really didn't mean to unload all that on everyone here... now I'll have nothing to talk to my therapist about on Thursday...

Esther: UMX NSM 5/24/11, TE exch & recon 7/13/11, revision to switch for smaller implant 3/5/12; opting out of Tamoxifen Dx 3/17/2011, DCIS, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Surgery 5/24/2011 Lymph node removal: Right; Mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 7/13/2011 Reconstruction (right) Surgery 3/5/2012 Reconstruction (right)
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Oct 10, 2011 10:55PM exbrnxgrl wrote:

Esther, thank you for opening your heart and sharing the very emotions that many of us feel. I am not very observant and was sick on Yom Kippur but Yizkor was said for my younger sister for the first time and prayers for me as well. I would have lost it had I been there, so I can completely understand the emotions it brought up in you. L'shanah tova to you my friend.
Caryn

Bilateral mx 9/7/11 with one step ns reconstruction. As of 11/21/11, 2cm met to upper left femur Dx 7/8/2011, IDC, Left, 4cm, Grade 1, 1/15 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 9/7/2011 Lymph node removal: Left; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Dx 11/2011, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, Grade 1, 1/15 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 11/21/2011 Arimidex (anastrozole) Radiation Therapy 11/21/2011 Bone Hormonal Therapy 6/19/2014 Femara (letrozole) Hormonal Therapy Aromasin (exemestane)
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Oct 11, 2011 01:49AM SAB wrote:

Esther, I admire your courage.  

The question is not to be or not to be. The question is how to be and how not to be. Heschel. Dx 6/2/2011, IDC, 1cm, Stage I, Grade 2, 0/11 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 11, 2011 05:11AM Leah_S wrote:

In our synagogue, people who are not saying Yizkor for a close relative leave during that part of the service. I am the oldest person who still leaves - I am 60 and my parents are both 86. One of my prayers during that time is that I continue to be able to leave during Yizkor for many more years to come.

Leah

Dx 11/3/2008, IDC, 1cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 6/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 11, 2011 08:28AM Eema wrote:

It was interesting, during Yizkor, I got up and left, because, thank G-d, my parents are alive and well (tfu tfu tfu!).  But then my DH got up and left, and he lost his father 10 years ago.  I asked him what was going on, and he said Sephardim don't have a Yizkor service, because they say it every week.  They just had it for the Ashkenaz in our congregation (it is a Sephardi shul).  I find the different practices so interesting!

"I've got the biggest balls of them all!" Angus Young, Malcolm Young, and Bon Scott. (AC/DC) Dx 4/14/2011, DCIS, 2cm, Stage 0, Grade 2, 0/0 nodes, ER+/PR+
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Oct 11, 2011 11:30AM exbrnxgrl wrote:

Eema,
I grew up in New York, the Ashkenazi Capitol of the US. The Sephardim were like rare exotic jewels. We were always fascinated and sometimes shocked by differences in practice. Yiddish was rather ordinary to me, as it was spoken in my household and all around me, but I was totally charmed by Ladino. So, despite the fact that I grew up in a city with a large Jewish population, it was not a diverse one. If the Sephardim were exotic, you she have seen my face when I met a Jew from India!
Oh, and I forgot to mention the sedar I attended at the home of an Afghan Jewish family in Kabul in 1978!
Caryn

Bilateral mx 9/7/11 with one step ns reconstruction. As of 11/21/11, 2cm met to upper left femur Dx 7/8/2011, IDC, Left, 4cm, Grade 1, 1/15 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 9/7/2011 Lymph node removal: Left; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Dx 11/2011, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, Grade 1, 1/15 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 11/21/2011 Arimidex (anastrozole) Radiation Therapy 11/21/2011 Bone Hormonal Therapy 6/19/2014 Femara (letrozole) Hormonal Therapy Aromasin (exemestane)
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Oct 11, 2011 12:05PM orangemat wrote:

My father was Ashkenazi, my mother is Sephardi. They met and married in Israel. My father's family considered my mother "black" and was always treated her like an outsider, and that they had a "mixed" marriage. Ridiculous.

Esther: UMX NSM 5/24/11, TE exch & recon 7/13/11, revision to switch for smaller implant 3/5/12; opting out of Tamoxifen Dx 3/17/2011, DCIS, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Surgery 5/24/2011 Lymph node removal: Right; Mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 7/13/2011 Reconstruction (right) Surgery 3/5/2012 Reconstruction (right)
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Oct 11, 2011 02:42PM Leah_S wrote:

Esther, marriages like your parents are becoming very common in Israel now, thank G-d. The divide between Ashkenazi and Sephardi seems to be closing somewhat though not fast enough.

Eema, I never knew that Sephardim don't have Yizkor on Yom Kippur. Do they have it on the other chagim when Ashkenazim do?

Leah

Dx 11/3/2008, IDC, 1cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 6/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 11, 2011 09:29PM rachelvk wrote:

My culture clash moment came during a trip to Stockholm. I decided to go to the synagogue there, and many of the congregants were as blond and blue-eyed as you could imagine. And listening to the rabbi's sermon in Swedish was just so ... different!

BMX 10/26/11; TACx6 12/13, 1/5, 1/26, 2/16, 3/8, 3/29; Keep focused on the light at the end of the tunnel.... it's where you get your health back and your life. Dx 8/16/2011, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/7 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Surgery 10/25/2011 Mastectomy: Left, Right Chemotherapy 12/12/2011 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 6/6/2012 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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Oct 11, 2011 10:52PM exbrnxgrl wrote:

Yes, I think growing up in the heavily Ashkenazi east coast does limit our view in terms of Judaism's diversity. My Afghan Jewish experience was an eye opener, especially since the Sedar food was pretty much typically Afghan except for matzo. And the family spoke only Dari (Afghan Farsi) and a bit of Hebrew. I spoke bad Dari but another guest spoke Hebrew and English so we muddled through. Instead of singing Dayenu, they spoke the words and every time we said Dayenu, we hit the person sitting next to us with long green onions!
Caryn

Bilateral mx 9/7/11 with one step ns reconstruction. As of 11/21/11, 2cm met to upper left femur Dx 7/8/2011, IDC, Left, 4cm, Grade 1, 1/15 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 9/7/2011 Lymph node removal: Left; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Dx 11/2011, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, Grade 1, 1/15 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 11/21/2011 Arimidex (anastrozole) Radiation Therapy 11/21/2011 Bone Hormonal Therapy 6/19/2014 Femara (letrozole) Hormonal Therapy Aromasin (exemestane)
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Oct 11, 2011 10:54PM orangemat wrote:

Caryn, I think I've just discovered our family's newest Passover custom. Dayenu indeed! [thwack!]

Esther: UMX NSM 5/24/11, TE exch & recon 7/13/11, revision to switch for smaller implant 3/5/12; opting out of Tamoxifen Dx 3/17/2011, DCIS, <1cm, Stage 0, Grade 1, 0/1 nodes, ER+/PR-, HER2- Surgery 5/24/2011 Lymph node removal: Right; Mastectomy: Right; Reconstruction (right): Tissue expander placement Surgery 7/13/2011 Reconstruction (right) Surgery 3/5/2012 Reconstruction (right)
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Oct 11, 2011 11:09PM Leah_S wrote:

Well, it sounds like fun but I have to admit I'm glad we didn't have that custom when my kids were growing up. I have 6 kids so I leave the scene to your imagination....

Leah

Dx 11/3/2008, IDC, 1cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 6/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 12, 2011 03:33AM exbrnxgrl wrote:

Leah, I can just see 6 over excited siblings whacking each other with long green onions.What a scene!. It reminds me of bat day at Yankee Stadium. We'd sit in the back of the car on the way home hitting each other with miniature bats.
Caryn

Bilateral mx 9/7/11 with one step ns reconstruction. As of 11/21/11, 2cm met to upper left femur Dx 7/8/2011, IDC, Left, 4cm, Grade 1, 1/15 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Surgery 9/7/2011 Lymph node removal: Left; Mastectomy: Left, Right; Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right) Dx 11/2011, IDC, Left, 4cm, Stage IV, Grade 1, 1/15 nodes, mets, ER+/PR+, HER2- Hormonal Therapy 11/21/2011 Arimidex (anastrozole) Radiation Therapy 11/21/2011 Bone Hormonal Therapy 6/19/2014 Femara (letrozole) Hormonal Therapy Aromasin (exemestane)
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Oct 12, 2011 11:45AM Eema wrote:

I am feeling really yuck and have to cook for Sukkot today.  Of course, after going to the supermarket yesterday and spending THE LIMIT, I forgot things and have to go back out.

Leah, since Sephardim do yizkor all the time, so no special services at the chagim.  That's why I was so shocked when I my hubby left!   He's the 'understudy' gabbai, so I thought he needed to be in there?!

When we got engaged, I expected the mixed marriage comments from MY side of the family, but was totally caught off guard when I got grief from the Sephardi side.  My intro to the Sephardi side was very formal.  I was sat facing a line of all his aunts and uncles.  The grilled me as to who I knew who was Sephardi.  I mentioned the name of someone who has a very Ashkenaz name, and they all booed me!  They told me he wasn't a 'REAL' Sephard, Sephardi Tahor!  Then they asked what I knew how to cook.  I told them I made a killer kugel.  THEY HAD NO IDEA WHAT KUGEL WAS!  I tried knishes.  No luck.  Then they asked if I could make pita (not the bread), mina, or chaminados, and I said no.  They felt so sorry for my hubby!

My grandmother, may she rest in peace, had a very funny discussion with me.  After the grilling, I went back to Detroit (where I'm from), and my grandma asked me if my 'chossen' knew Yiddish, or if his family did.  I told her no, they spoke Ladino.  She asked what in the world was Ladino.  I said, it was a mix of Spanish and Hebrew, like Yiddish is a mix of German and Hebrew.  She thought about it for a while, then said, "Miriam, dear, they are telling you a story.  They forgot their Yiddish, so they made up Ladino so they shouldn't be embarrassed."  We still laugh about it!  Tonight begins her Yartzeit.  My FIL, may he rest in peace, is the second day of Sukkot.  Lots of Tzaddiks! 

"I've got the biggest balls of them all!" Angus Young, Malcolm Young, and Bon Scott. (AC/DC) Dx 4/14/2011, DCIS, 2cm, Stage 0, Grade 2, 0/0 nodes, ER+/PR+
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Oct 13, 2011 12:55AM 3jaysmom wrote:

Eema; i think I LOVE your grandmother!!!they forgot their yiddish.. im still laughing. my MIL will hear THAT one for sure!!! i know neither my hubs is Jewish.. but i've learned a lot of little yiddish words, terms in 20 years with them. my DIL; who i call dad as mine is gone; grew up speaking only yiddish, had to learn in school.. His mom died never learning a word of english.. my hubs (murray) on the other hand, knows less than me.. he doesn't pay attention, tho,,, hahaha     3jays

3jaysmom Chemotherapy 4/21/2009 Dx DCIS, 2cm, Stage IIB, 1/27 nodes, ER-/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 13, 2011 08:54AM - edited Oct 13, 2011 08:55AM by rachelvk

Eema - that is a great story! It's amazing how even within 'the tribe,' we still find ways to single out groups and people as different or not-quite-completely-right. My Dad's family was mostly German Jews, and the last thing you wanted to do with them was bring home a "litvak" as a potential spouse!

I do wish I had grown up speaking Yiddish. I don't know if my nana even spoke it, though she used a few phrases here and there. I can sort of get by because I learned German. 

BMX 10/26/11; TACx6 12/13, 1/5, 1/26, 2/16, 3/8, 3/29; Keep focused on the light at the end of the tunnel.... it's where you get your health back and your life. Dx 8/16/2011, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/7 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Surgery 10/25/2011 Mastectomy: Left, Right Chemotherapy 12/12/2011 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 6/6/2012 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)
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Oct 13, 2011 09:42PM Leah_S wrote:

Eema, your grandmother cracks me up! When I told my Grandma that Sephardim name children after living relatives (especially grandparents) she was adamant that I was wrong.

My DS married a Moroccan girl and when their daughter was born it created what I called a "minhag dilemma". Our minhag is that the children are named for relatives who have passed away and that the first baby's name is chosen by the mother. Her minhag is to name for a living family member and she very much wanted to giver her own grandmother's name since they're very close. So my DS asked his rabbi's advice and he was told that since she is choosing the name and it is a sign of respect for them to name for someone living then they should name the baby for his wife's grandmother, which they did.

My DD and her husband didn't have a female relative to honor when their daughter was born so they wanted a name connected with Purim since that's the day the baby was born. They couldn't use Esther - that's my DD's name. They couldn't use Hadassah - that's her SIL's name. They couldn't use Shoshana (for Shoshanat Yaacov, a traditional Purim song) since her MIL is Shoshana. I said, name her what you want as long as you don't use Zeresh or Vashti. They decided to use Ayelet since the Shir shel Yom (psalm for the day) for Purim is Ayelet Hashachar.

Both girls are gorgeous, as are my other grandchildren.

Leah

Dx 11/3/2008, IDC, 1cm, Stage IV, Grade 3, 6/17 nodes, ER+/PR+, HER2-
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Oct 19, 2011 01:06AM karen1956 wrote:

I'm so glad that I found this thread...can't believe I haven't seen it before.....regarding the holidays...the first yom kippur after Dx and Tx was the hardest....I went into Kol Nidre with tears in my eyes.....I was in Tx during Purim and Pesach so it was very different.....the worst sedar ever was  after chemo #2.....could barely get off the sofa....I think I made it to the table once...and my DD #2 sat with me on the sofa crying...Barcuh Hashem we've had many good holidays since.....My DD anbd SIL just left today after being here for the beginning days of Sukkot.....

I don't have any grandchildren yet or any on the way yet.....but I figure my DD and SIL will decide what we will be called....as long as there is love in it, I don't have a preference.....My maternal grandparents were grandma and grandpa as I had maternal great grandparents who were bubby and zaide....and my paternal grandparents were bubby and zaide....when I had kids, DH and I asked our parents what they wanted to be called and they said grandma and grandpa...somehow though my dad became papa.....my grandmother was still living when I had kids, but she did not want to be called bubby because that was an old lady name!!!! so she would sign cards as great grandma...kids just called her grandma....My children all have biblical names that are almost the same in english and hebrew....didn't want it to be like DH and me who have what I call anglo names and hebrew names....my hebrew name is Rachel Yehudit....and Rachel is one of my favorite names and I couldn't use it and my mother is Sarah Esther another favorite so my kids just have hebrew names....

Wishing everyone good health and happiness in 5772...and have a wonderful Simchat Torah....

Karen in Denver, Dx 02/03/2006, ILC, stage IIIa, ER/PR+, HER2-,
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Sep 13, 2012 12:07AM rachelvk wrote:

I figured I'd pick up this thread from last year. We've found ourselves journeying very different paths over the past year. I'm five months PFC, my hair is coming in nicely, and I've felt pretty close to my old self, but it's tough trying to keep the scary thoughts at bay and just get back to enjoying life. But it's a lot better than where I was last year.

Wishing everyone a Shana Tovah!

BMX 10/26/11; TACx6 12/13, 1/5, 1/26, 2/16, 3/8, 3/29; Keep focused on the light at the end of the tunnel.... it's where you get your health back and your life. Dx 8/16/2011, IDC, 3cm, Stage IIA, Grade 3, 0/7 nodes, ER-/PR-, HER2- Surgery 10/25/2011 Mastectomy: Left, Right Chemotherapy 12/12/2011 Adriamycin (doxorubicin), Cytoxan (cyclophosphamide), Taxotere (docetaxel) Surgery 6/6/2012 Reconstruction (left); Reconstruction (right)

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